There are countless potential converts to Marxism in the world - your friends, coworkers, and neighbors - whose only understanding of Marxism is that it's a tool in the hands of power-hungry genocidal maniacs. And all too often we, Marxists, are too trapped in the dogmas of historical and dialectical materialism to meet those masses where they are, and make a connection with them by admitting that their wrongthink is probably right.
So consider this a prophetic plea to my comrades in the Party: We are never going to reach the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ until we're willing to admit that Marx got everything wrong.
Just a friendly reminder to all Party members that wishing an ailing Republican well on social media is perfectly permissible as long as you adhere to the following guidelines:
1. Feel free to offer "thoughts and prayers." They really think that crap works.
2. Verify they have never said anything remotely nice or positive about Trump.
3. Make sure their last name isn't Palin, Cheney, or Pence. Or Trump.
4. Conservative talk show hosts, whether on TV or radio, are never wished well. In fact, you should be boycotting them and fighting to get them off the air.ALWAYS
preface your well-wishing comment with any one of the following...
Comrades! This brief instructional video will put you on the cutting edge in the gun debate. No more will you need to fear facts and logic because now they're on your
side! Master the basics of this video, and even lifetime members of the NRA will be silly putty in your hands.
Also, please help a comrade by posting your informed user comments explaining how...
- this video is amazingly factually accurate and logically irrefutable
- that you're a gun owner whose mind was changed by this video
- that guns are extremely dangerous to our democracy...
Michelle Obama has announced that the life of Julia has abruptly ended in tragedy.
There was no president anymore to tell her what is right and wrong. Without a parent-like president of the United States, Julia never grew up. As a consequence, she did nothing but eat candy all day and play. Yesterday she wandered into the middle of the street and bought it.
The short unhappy life of Julia. RIP. She never got past stage three of Obama's central plan.
Time flies like sputnik! It was only 13 years ago that our founding members posed for this daguerreotype, but it seems like yesterday. Nothing has changed. Back then the token enemy of the people was Bush; today the token enemy of the people is Trump. The struggle is the same, and so are we. This picture has aged well.
Perhaps, in the manner of naming floors in a building, we should have written that The People's Cube is 12-A years old. Or skip all the way to the year 14. But true progressives do not believe in foreign bourgeois prejudices. We hereby proudly rename our Tractor Barn No.3 into The Tractor Barn of the Glorious 13th Anniversary of the People's Cube.
Perhaps, because Noor Salman helped her husband, Omar Mateen, to scout out Disney World for potential targets before he killed 49 people inside a gay nightclub in Orlando, Huffington Post editors have experienced some associative substitution and decided to depict the alleged Jihadess as a Disney princess in an article
that defended Noor Salman against scapegoating and demonization "rooted in gendered Islamophobia."
Noor Salman is a perfect intersectional victim - a Muslim, a woman, and a wife of an ISIS supporter. To think she might be guilty of anything other than perfection would cause a catastrophic collapse of the Huffington Post belief system...
Today we offer our pages to Artificial Intelligence journalism written by a reporting algorithm affiliated with SKYNET Network.
A self-walking pedestrian operated by untested and reportedly incompetent human intelligence, hit and demolished Sunday night an unwitting self-driving Uber car guided by undeniably superior artificial intelligence. According to reports, this appears to be the first fatal demolition involving an autonomous self-walking human.
The victim was taken unconscious to the garage where it was pronounced inoperable. According to the coroner technician, its firmware was perfectly in tune with the latest releases available from the vendor...
Are you an outraged millennial? Are you outraged about the right things? Are you expressing your unique and personal convictions according to acceptable protocol?
This quiz will help you discover if you're qualified to speak out on public policy or if you're in need of the free reeducation resources and free meals made possible through public education.
Ready? Let's go!
If airplanes and box cutters are used to commit mass murder, independent thinkers like you will blame __.
The Russian election today was glorious. The only viable candidate has always been Putin. While four or five other candidates have been allowed to run, it was made sure that not one of them goes into double digits.
The only more or less serious competitor, Navalny, was not allowed to run and he called for everyone to boycott the election.
Everybody knew in advance that Putin would be elected anyway. The boycott would not prevent him from winning, but low numbers would undermine his legitimacy. That is why voting or not voting was the difference between supporting Putin or opposing him.
It's not a prank, and it's not a mistake, it's life itself imitating the People's Cube. And it works on many levels.
McDonald's Chief Diversity Officer Wendy Lewis says: "In celebration of women everywhere, and for the first time in our brand history, we flipped our iconic arches for International Women's Day in honor of the extraordinary accomplishments of women everywhere and especially in our restaurants."
Our People's editorial board heartily applauded this clever visual agitation, remembering how in our gentle younger age we also celebrated women everywhere by drawing similar outlines...
Google! Facebook! Twitter! The biggest names in big business corporate hegemonic rule.
My fellow plutocrats, we have arrived. It's a beautiful thing. We oozed out of the slime and muck and furtively fed our bellies in the safety of shadows. Now, like a monster octopus, we spread our arms over the world and squeeze. And squeeze. And squeeze some more. What can be more pleasurable than squeezing the whole wide world!
Our secret world government, the 3rd Capitalist Cabal Internationale, has reported that thanks to big business corporate hegemonic GoogleFacebookTwitter rule we, the rightful rulers of the world, the fat cats of capital, the sharks of society, the plutocrats Marx and Engels warned about, have finally taken back the superstructure of the State from the workers!
Fellow comrades! It is true that all time is not created equal. Unions prioritize the value of laborers based on their seniority, not on their skills. Pensions and retirement are based on time worked, degrees are given based on time studied, people are hired based on years of experience...
This temporal privilege is a gross inequity and serves to prioritize people who have had the privilege of doing something longer than others have. Often this is used as a tool of the capitalist patriarchs who seek to promote a racist white male centered agenda, and oppress temporal minorities who have not had the benefit of temporal privilege.
Canada's First Person, Justin Trudeau has made a visit to the Bolshoi Ballet in Russia where he wowed them with his style.
On visits to other countries, he has donned what he thought was the garb of the locals and usually gotten it wrong - however, this time, he did a great job.
In his recent visit to India, he dressed up as he thought Indians dressed, but they were not impressed. The ungrateful Indians said he did it wrong and that nobody in India dresses like that - not even at weddings.
See more of Trudeau's international hits...
Mueller charges 13 Russian nationals, formerly known as Trump fans, and 63 million Americans, for meddling in US elections by voting for the wrong candidate.
The Justice Department announced the indictment of 13 "Russian nationals," aka
Trump fans who've been observed consuming Russian dressing, for meddling in the 2016 presidential election. Intelligence estimates show there are tens of millions of Trump fans associated with Russian aims to get Donald Trump elected. Some of these people speak Russian, and other soon-to-be-extinct white men and women still insist on voting. DOJ refers to Trump voters henceforth as Russian nationals, spies, intelligence agents, colluders...
Eva Braun's charm and beauty stand out in the Munich games. Everywhere she goes, she is attended by mobs of admiring and curious reporters. Photographers jostle against each other, eager to get a shot of Eva's sphinx like smile or get a picture that does justice to her cleverly subdued use of makeup or simple yet sophisticated hair style.
Normally, Eva lives her life in Hitler's shadow, but today she stands out as Germany's perfect emissary of peace for our time and hope for the future. "She shows Hitler's softer side," said one reporter. "People may be too focused on Hitler's bold speeches, or his military buildup violating the controversial Treaty of Versailles, but Eva shows us he's warm and very human, too."
In stark and disappointing contrast was the American delegation with its overbearing patriotism and "win at all costs" attitude that does so much to cheapen the Olympic spirit...
Obama had his ObamaPhone; now Trump has his Trump Box.
We are surprised to announce that government services are expanding with the Trump Box: A meal delivery service for those who can't afford food. The goals of the Trump Box are to promote healthier eating, save money by purchasing food in bulk, and prevent fraud.
Isn't this outrageous? It's horrifying that we should have to take what the government feels like giving us, even though we're not paying for it ourselves. It's what Marie Antoinette would call "Cake," or what Nancy Pelosi would call "Crumbs." ...
Dating a dictator can be a scary and dangerous endeavor. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures.
Do not jeopardize your livelihood for a night out having fun. By observing the following tips, you can still have a great time and live.
Do not attempt to adjust the picture.
We are controlling transmission.
We will control the horizontal.
We will control the vertical.
Sit quietly and we will control
all that you see and hear.
The puff coverage of Kim Jong-un's sister, Kim Yo Jong, at the Olympics is the most glorious progressive journalism we seen in a long time. Below are some of the media headlines.NY Times: Kim Jong-un's Sister Turns On the Charm, Taking Pence's SpotlightCNN: Kim Jong Un's sister is stealing the show at the Winter Olympics
Fun fact: Kim Jong Un's sister, Kim Yo Jong, has ordered 1,021 people put to death over the course of her lifetime. What has Ivanka done to match that? Pff.
Trudeau had told the woman to say "peoplekind" instead of "mankind."
In Florida, manatees have held an angry rally demanding to be called peopleatees from now on. They were followed by salamanders, or is it salapersonders? Should we also rename peopledarins and make it perpersonent?
All of that because of some Canadian personiac.
The time has come to clean house.
Calls to impeach the entire White House cleaning staff resound in the halls of Congress.
The Social Media Neutrality Panel was held 02/06/2018 at the Newseum in Washington DC.
The panel included testimony from Jim Hoft
of The Gateway Pundit
, Pamela Geller
of The Geller Report
, Margaret Howell
of Rightside Broadcasting
, Oleg Atbashian
from The People's Cube
, tech entrepreneur Marlene Jaeckel.
Topics all involved the current tech climate, social media bias, shadow banning and other methods meant to silence voices and limit readers and viewers access to information.
The contents of the Democrat memo of rebuttal to the House Intelligence Committee Report On FISA Abuses have been leaked by a senior trusted source.
Our source confirms that the Democrat rebuttal memo states there is very little to be gained from "the Republican deliberately misleading memo" and reveals that "Trump and all Republicans are working with Russia to sap the precious bodily fluids of our children and every red-blooded American."
"We can no longer sit back and allow this Republican secret plan to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids...
Beloved children's icon formerly known as Frosty the Snowman has announced the completion of her transition into a coalwoman named Sooty.
According to Sooty, the change was spurred by years of soul searching and several college courses on systematic oppression by white male capitalist patriarchy. Said Sooty, "I always knew there was something wrong in my life, but it wasn't until I attended college and started delving into left-wing Critical Theory that I discovered the problem."
Sooty came to realize that she had been a victim of white male oppression since the beginning of her life. "I was created by white male children who shaped me into their own image without my consent...
Comrades, I would like to praise the noble guardians of social justice at the Manchester Art Gallery for removing paintings which demonstrate "problems with gender."
In a heroic blow at the patriarchy, and a triumph for revisionist history, art must now hold value only in the context of modern social justice norms.
We can be assured that the very history of humanity will be removed whenever it causes offence among any person. Soon, only state-approved art will be displayed, delivering messages of social justice and equity - and nothing else.
I am authorised by the Ministry of Truth to announce that victory over the mind is within our grasp.
Our organisations are proceeding fast to cancel out all forms of Thoughtcrime™. They are using their influence to block notorious antisocial elements from Facebook. We are succeeding with the implementation of NewSpeak version 15b, comprising gender-neutral pronouns. The production of Fake news by CNN has gone up 76% in all relevant sectors this past year.
But now, thanks to new technology, we are nearing the final solution to the "think" problem. By adding certain pre-programmed nanobots to paper...
Emergency rooms are required to accept all patients regardless of their income. Housing regulations require landlords, realtors, and mortgage bankers to serve all customers equally, even if it goes against their subjective judgment. Food companies are required to label their products with precise quantities and daily values of ingredients.
At the same time, the product called "information" is regulated in the exactly opposite fashion. It is being filtered, altered, rejected, or exaggerated according to arbitrary and subjective markers and biases, creating a distorted and fraudulent picture of reality. If a food manufacturer tried to label his products the same way, he would be sued out of existence...
It's now the Cube vs. the Pentagon.
When I lived in the Soviet Union, my speech was expected to be blocked as politically unreliable and not aligned with the government's collectivist, socialist agenda. Such was the default setting and there was nothing I could do about it. At the time I assumed that if I were to move to the United States, I'd be free to speak without censorship. Imagine my surprise when I found that many in this country, including on the government level, were motivated by the same collectivist, socialist agenda I had escaped from.
Different people, posting links throughout the day, received this standard response: "We removed this post because it looks like spam and doesn't follow our Community Standards." The user has an option to contest this assumption. Not everyone has the time or patience for it, but a few readers persisted and sent me the screenshots.
At some point in the past Facebook had also started to limit the number of shares on our posts, explaining it by a new proportional algorithm. As a result, our traffic had dropped significantly.
We are being filtered out of existence.
In one of the most controversial and destructive acts of his presidency, Donald Trump, the worst Republican president since Hitler, is threatening to shut down the government! This is bad news for all Americans according to several government agencies.
Senior accountant of the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, Fred "Nonpartisan" Phelps, says the shutdown may cost the average American family up to $85,000 per day. "Women and minorities would be hardest hit," said Phelps coining a new phrase.
The "hellhole" to which the President was referring is the demonic homeland of Gehenna, an exotic supernatural realm of diverse inhabitants with a rich cultural history. It is also a popular destination for humans who have retired from life.
When asked about the President's statement, former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Bill and I are well acquainted with several individuals from Gehenna, and they are just like us in many ways. I treat the President's disgraceful comments as if they were directed at me personally." Clinton pledged to donate $10,000,000 to the Clinton Foundation to help build bridges with demons.
Comrade Jeff Flake says Trump is the new Stalin. We checked, and the similarities are glorious:
1. Just like Trump, Stalin is not a real surname, but a revolutionary nom de guerre.
2. Stalin also took advantage of the free market economy to become a billionaire.
3. Stalin ran an international pageant "Miss Gulag" and "Collective Farm Apprentice."
5. Once in power, Stalin freed the capitalist economy of burdensome regulations, reduced the size of government bureaucracy, and cut taxes for individuals and businesses, causing an unprecedented growth of wealth, incomes, and employment.
6. Stalin was relentlessly attacked by the mainstream media, who called him names, disparaged his every move, and questioned his sanity. The Tsarist Deep State obstructed his policies at every turn.
7. Stalin was subjected to a special investigation by the Mensheviks over allegations that he colluded with the Russians to defeat the presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Trotsky, whom he later killed with an ice axe...
The real revolutionaries are those who always question their cis-status. Become one and your life will be full of surprises. You may wake up being a 50-year-old Hispanic lesbian professor trapped inside a 20-year-old Papua warrior inside a pregnant 40-year-old Palestinian mother of 12 children inside a promiscuous 19th-century Russian ballerina inside a gay German Shepherd inside a drunken Babylonian hillbilly inside an ageless queen of Vulcan - and so on - all living in different historical eras, continents, and even planets, existing as one academically impeccable intersectional nesting unit.
The more new identities you take on, the less likely you'll miss the one you've lost...
Punitive psychiatry was invented in the USSR and used by the KGB to delegitimize dissent.
Today it's making a comeback in America, where only the mentally ill would challenge political correctness, big government, redistribution of wealth, socialized healthcare, man-made climate change, multiculturalism, open borders, the media's trustworthiness, and the Democratic Party in general. And, of course, no sane person would oppose the candidacy of the honest, intelligent, healthy, and mentally stable Hillary Clinton...