FROM THE PEOPLE'S ARCHIVES: The Middle East Conflict For Dummies
Nostalgic Progressive Haikus of 2008
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Commemorate the outgoing year of 2008 with these nostalgic progressive haikus. Feel the paradigm shift as the clock strikes 12 and we move from the Year of Bush to the Year of Obama!
(Just as progressive poets have liberated the verse from the oppression of rhyme, we have liberated our haikus from the archaic 5-7-5 syllable restriction, which was a purely bourgeois formality. Who needs to count? Report them to the nearest ACLU officer!)
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Che Guevara Christmas Greeting
Ernesto Che Guevara sold 100,000,000 T-shirts this year alone! He's world's greatest T-shirt salesman. Come on, trust-fund college kid! Be a non-conformist because everybody else is! Being popular is so elfin' hard. Che shirt = instant recognition. Viva la merchandise!
Who's your daddy? Have yourself an nice progressive Christmas!
WATCH VIDEO HERE >> |
Obama Playing Cards for the Masses
"Everybody is an equal winer!"
(Suitable for playing in a box car with other political prisoners)
   
SEE ALL 54 CARDS (now on sale) >>
2008 Government-Subsidized Auto Show
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Everyone knows that all cars are created equal. In the name of justice we must legislate the equality of American automobiles with their foreign counterparts. A Car Czar must be appointed to distribute cash to our automobile industry so that we can protect it from the Capitalist evil of competition.
To highlight the urgent need for these measures and to emphasize the many successes of government-run automaking, we present the 2008 Government-Subsidized Auto Show. All automobile manufacturers are rated according to the Red Star system, with five stars as the highest award.
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Obama Picks White House Lap Dog Named Media
SEE NEW PEOPLE'S COMIC STRIP! >>
Odd Facts And Tidbits Most Americans Are Not Aware Of
 | Did you know....
...that if Pres. George W. Bush really WERE Hitler, most of his political opponents would be dead by now?
...that after almost 50 yrs on this planet, the US Presidency will be Barack Obama's first REAL job?
...that if politicians could run things like the auto industry successfully, the Soviet Union WOULDN'T have collapsed? MORE >> |
 
During Thanksgiving, as American toiling masses traditionally give thanks to the government for what it has distributed to them, all conscientious members of community are required to experience the following emotions:
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FROM THE PEOPLE'S ARCHIVES: Thanksgiving With A Space Alien 
| Last Thursday a flying saucer landed in my backyard. A friendly, if slightly disoriented alien pilot told me he needed a drink. I had just what he wanted, since this was Thanksgiving and all. His name was Ollie and he came to Earth looking for an honest, self-reliant, optimistic, and technically inclined nation that could benefit from a contact with his more advanced civilization.
"Whoa, whoa!" I raised my finger. "To call yourself advanced you must take at least three diversity training classes. What planet are you from, really?" MORE >> |
Communists of St. Petersburg on Obama Victory
 | Communists of Petersburg and the Leningrad Oblast have issued an official statement on Barack Obama's victory in the 2008 presidential election. They are the same glorious party who earlier denounced Harrison Ford with Cate Blanchett for the anti-Soviet propaganda in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and most recently accused Olga Kurylenko of treason for playing the new Bond girl. "The days of the bloodthirsty and thieving Bush administration are ending. The American people have rejected the rabid Russophobia and anti-Sovietism of McCain. We, the Communists, believe that McCain must respond to his own defeat like an honorable officer and shoot himself in the head. Or there will be no respect left for him..."
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The Order of Republican Moderation
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The recent election has left the GOP sharply divided. As caring and compassionate progressives, it is our duty to help their two fighting factions destroy each other as soon as possible. When the Republicans were in power we successfully manipulated their infighting with our planned long-term strategy. But now that the GOP is in shambles, we must quickly find a way to manipulate their rebuilding effort, making sure that the Moderate Republicans prevail over the Extreme Republicans. Once all conservatives are removed, the GOP will be nothing more than a puppet, kept only for the appearance of a two-party system. To this end The Peoples Cube presents the "Order of Republican Moderation" as a reward to those Moderate Republicans who show courage and bravery in ridding the world of conservatism, in the following categories:
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Headlines From the Year 2020 (Part V)
 | - Statue of Liberty renamed "Statue of Government"
- Attorney-General Ayers rolls out "Adopt a Capitalist Pig" program, in which proletarian recipient of reparation payments can select donor
- Microsoft moves its last U.S. facility to Shanghai; CNN slams "the Bush economic legacy"
- President Murtha orders provisional withdrawal of U.S. troops from pacified sectors of Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming
- Vermont man beaten to death by angry mob for placing aluminum can in paper recycling bin
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Slogans For Spontaneous Pronouncements At Victory Rallies
 | Comrades! November 4th 2008 shall be inscribed in golden letters in the history of the international revolutionary movement as the day when American workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia finally rose to reject the archaic idea of American exceptionalism. Our agents in the academia, mass media, and trivial entertainment divisions have lived up to the Party's expectations in swaying the voting populace into throwing off the chains of accountability, integrity, and individualism - and embracing their true nature as a mote of a vast collective. Below is a list of mandatory slogans for spontaneous pronouncements at congratulatory rallies, approved by the Central Committee of the Democrat Party of the United States of America (DPUSA) for the official four-year-long celebration of Change.
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Election Thread: The Great Patriotic Change '08
 | Comrades from all over the world are converging. Young, old, dead, plant, pets, oatmeal and just everyone and everything in between is ready, willing and now registered to hand Senator Obama -- OUR SAVIOR -- a solid and decisive VICTORY!
Comrades, inform us, the Inner Party, of your experience today voting. Let us know how things are going. Spread the wealth as in how your day was at the polls and what you are seeing in your respective states.
REPORT HERE >>
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VOTE '08: Who Will Play Obama in Hollywood Biopic?
 | Hollywood is abuzz about the latest spat between African-American superstars Will Smith and Denzel Washington for the privilege of playing the lead in the Obama biopic to be directed by the Do the Right Thing man himself, Mr. Spike Lee, who reputedly demanded a $50 million directing-and-producing fee. The $1bn Lukas-Spielberg-Geffen-Winfrey production will also feature Samuel Z. Jackson as Obama pere and Beyonce as Mrs. Obama. The latter will perform such new Quincy Jones soon-to-be hits as Ch-ch-changes (He Comin') and We Is Who We Waits For.
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FROM THE PEOPLE'S ARCHIVES: HALLOWEEN 2006
Dems Focus On Dead Voter Turnout, Rally Graveyards
 | In this election season, Americans are becoming increasingly convinced that if they don't vote Democrat they will all get sick, paralyzed, dismembered, and ultimately die for lack of on-demand embryos available for their consumption. The good news is, once they are dead they'll be voting Democrat forever! Dead voters are playing a progressively important role in the American democratic process, consistently casting their votes for the Democratic Party. According to "Countdown" on MSNBC, the International Coalition of Dead Voters has endorsed all Democratic candidates in this election cycle. "We have always sided with progress and unilateral disarmament, and it is very important that this November all dead people of good will, once again, vote Democrat," said the Coalition's spokesperson to Keith Olbermann in a segment called Bush Disenfranchises The American Dead. "Not all of us are from this country, though" the spokesperson said, adding that a standard term for his constituents would be "necro-proxies." MORE >> |
VIDEO: Sex and the Democrats (A Campaign Commercial)
 | Studies show that casual sex is a number one issue among Democrat voters. Democrats think that casual sex with strangers is more important than
- Energy
- Economy
- National Security The scientific consensus is clear: while Republicans spread freedom and democracy, Democrats spread sexually transmitted diseases.
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Experts: Miracle of B-Stigmata Caused by Faith in Obama
 | Media experts are still debating the mysterious claim by a 20-year-old McCain/Palin volunteer concerning the bruises, the missing $60, and the letter "B" that suddenly appeared on her cheek as she was using a cash machine in Pittsburg, PA last night. "I honestly believe this is the beginning of the rise of a new type of B-stigmatics," says MSNBC host Chris Matthews, whose personal leg tingles during the Obama speeches have turned him into an expert. "Such B-stigmata will often take form of bruises, disappearing wallets, and yes, the letter B popping up on people's cheeks. The afflicted may even claim they saw the image of the Obamessiah dressed in dark hoodie, jeans, and shiny gym shoes, but those must be hallucinations resulting from exceptional white guilt and desire to associate oneself with the suffering Obamessiah and his disciples."
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Bam the Driller in New Music Video: "Drill, Bama, Drill"
 | Meet Bam the Driller as he dances to the rhythm of his trusty jackhammer, making holes in your wallets, border fences, talk radio microphones, school vouchers, prison cells, babies' heads, and US military.
Cameo appearances of Wright, Chavez, Farrakhan, Marx, Mumia, Raines, and others.
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Obama Supporter Assaults Female McCain Volunteer in NY
NOT FUNNY
First published in
Pajamas Media
 | Our out-of-character reporting in Pajamas Media appeared on Drudge Report and hundreds of other websites within hours: While the Democrat-leaning media continues to scare undecided voters with bedtime stories about some mythical angry McCain supporter whom nobody has seen, here is a real district attorney's complaint documenting an unprovoked assault by an enraged Democrat against a McCain volunteer in midtown Manhattan: "Defendant grabbed the sign [informant] was holding, broke the wood stick that was attached to it, and then struck informant in informant's face thereby causing informant to sustain redness, swelling, and bruising to informant's face and further causing informant to sustain substantial pain."
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An American Carol Hurts The Liberal Media's Funny Bone
First published in American Thinker
 | A unanimously negative media response to the political slapstick movie American Carol reinforces my theory that humor -- and satire in particular -- is an accurate litmus test of one's political and ideological convictions, even if one insists on having no convictions at all. If you want to check your friends' politics, take them to see this conservative comedy and watch the reaction. Committed liberals won't laugh at conservative humor and vice versa. If they don't agree on the joke's basic philosophical premise, the sting will miss the spot and the joker will be shrugged off as a pathetic fool (for reference see conservative reaction to any of the David Letterman shows in the last ten years).
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Obama's WealthSpread™: I Can't Believe It's Not Earned!
 | While canvassing neighborhoods in Ohio this Sunday, Barack Obama advised a tax-burdened plumber not to worry about money because under his presidency money will disappear since it will no longer have any meaning anyway. Instead, all Americans will be living off Obama's highly nutritive WealthSpread™ formula that is surprisingly low in effort and is being promoted by a group of leading nutritionists known as the Cook Fringe of the Democrat Party under the brand name "I Can't Believe It's Not Earned!" "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?" the plumber asked...
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Diverse Obama Logos: To Each According To His Hyphen
 | It is a matter of common knowledge that the old-fashioned idea of One Nation Undivided is incompatible with diversity and multiculturalism. For the same reason, the concept of One Obama Logo For All has been recently found at conflict with the presidential hopeful's philosophy of catering to each minority group with a different set of words and images. As a result, his campaign has unveiled a new collection of ethnically-specific Obama logos to match each minority's pre-approved role, legend, and grievances, in full compliance with the divide-and-conquer revolutionary doctrine developed by Antonio Gramsci and perfected by Saul Alinsky. MORE >>
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Sing For Change: Children Compose Hymns To Obama
| Sing for Change chronicles a recent Sunday afternoon, when children, on their own will, gathered to sing original songs in the belief that their singing would lift up our communities for the coming election. Light, hope, courage and love shine through these nonvoting children who believe that their very best contribution to the Obama campaign is to sing.
This music video embodies the nature of the Obama campaign: its grassroots inspiration, its inclusiveness, its community building. The willingness of all was a testament to our hope, unity, courage, joy and belief in the future represented by these children.
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Obama's "Current Truth Squads" See Heavy Action
| As a glorious preview of improvements to political freedoms in an Obama administration, his campaign directed the third phase for the Current Truth Squads' assault on counterrevolutionary holdouts: Legal Stormtruthers. A group of high-ranking Missouri apparatchiks - including St. Louis sheriffs and top prosecutors - are threatening to target anyone they determine is contradicting the Current Truth™ about their chosen candidate for President. "This is the radical change we've been waiting for, and there's more where it came from," commented the local Truth Squad Standartenfuehrer on condition of anonymity.
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Liberal Outrage: A Pro-McCain March In Manhattan
A group of McCain-Palin supporters dare to march through the Upper West Side - and are met with hatred and rage for being infidels in the heart of liberal Mecca. Republicans are as out of place there as elephants at a donkey show. Area intellectuals jeer them well - just as they had been taught to do. FACT: The number of middle fingers in the "progressive" crowd is directly proportional to the number of PhD degrees in the ten-block radius.
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Flyers For Anti-Iran Rallies in New York On Sept. 22 & 25
A few days ago we were contacted to make a flyer for the next week's two rallies protesting Ahmadinejad's visit to New York and his appeasers in the West. Since then the Sept. 22 rally at the UN has grown famous thanks to the organizers' decision to disinvite Sarah Palin under pressure from the Democrat leadership and its proxies among the leftist Jewish groups, whom Pamela Geller called Jewicidals. So we made two different flyers. The one for the Sept. 22 rally has Sarah Palin with a taped mouth, and the flyer for the Sept. 25 rally (that still keeps the invitation to Palin open) has all the relevant info. See below.
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Bush Lauded by Nat'l Organization of Community Organizers
 | Yesterday the National Organization of Community Organizers bestowed its most prestigious award on George W Bush for outstanding work in the organization of communities in Iraq and Afghanistan. "It's truly an honor to receive such a covetized award," the president said in a few brief remarks at the ceremony honoring his achievement, "but we cannot forget that this was made possible only through the work and dedication of our excellent military personnel." Progressives everywhere were on their feet, chanting Progress! Progress!, applauding, cheering, and waving American flags. MORE >> |
Obamology Studies at Hardfart University
 | Our Department has created a curriculum out of thin air and in a big hurry, enabling persons with some loose $100,000 to spend it on an undergraduate degree in the exciting new field of Obamology (the study of Obama.) Qualified candidates (i.e. those with extra $100,000) successfully completing 30 credit hours will obtain a B.O. degree (Bachelor of Obamology), which will not lead to a career or paying job or any such corporate entrapment, but it will help make you feel as if you are serving the community while you’re hanging around on the street corner. MORE >> |
VIDEO from KG3: American Contrarian
 | A view at today's security issues from the distant future. Works as a great standalone video regardless of the fact that it is, in fact, the KG3's answer to American Centurion, the latest political short from the makers of BLUE BALLED and the New York-based TruthThroughAction.org, an organization creating online videos in support of "progressive" issues and candidates. MORE >> |
Memo to President Obama from Year 2010
 | Mr. President: First the good news: your approval ratings have jumped dramatically in the last two weeks. You are now at 15% approval which is your highest in the last eighteen months. Primarily, this is due to your decision to stay away from all press conferences that do not use teleprompters. The restoration of the Fairness Doctrine has enabled us better to manage the information coming out about the various problems of the Administration. The New York Times is continuing to work with us on getting your message out to their 86 subscribers, who are behind you 100% of the time. MORE >> |
Media Investigates Palin's Scandalous Candidacy
Obama's Sermon on the Mile High Mount
 | The Book of Invesco
The Sermon on the Mile High Mount
1Then it came to pass in the Land of Entitlement that the Word became Change and the Change became Hope and the Hope became Change You Can Believe In. 2And The Obamessisah went about all fifty-seven states, teaching at their Caucuses and Primaries, healing malaise among the poor in spirit, and preaching the gospel of Progress. 3Then His fame went throughout all the land; and they came to Him all people who were afflicted with Bush Derangement; and those who were hopenitized; moonbats and troofers; and He wooed them. 4Great multitudes followed Him - from Chicago to Jersey, and beyond the Hills of Beverly. MORE >>
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Free 2008 Election Posters and More!
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Ranting-Points Memo: INEXPERIENCE! INEXPERIENCE!
 | - From: America's sweeheart, Chairman M. S. Punchenko
- To: Party members and Useful Idiot Media
- Subject: GET OUT THERE AND STOP THIS MADNESS!
GET OUT THERE NOW! GET OUT! GET OUT! HE IS RAINING ON THE MESSIAH'S PARADE! HE IS RAINING ON THE MESSIAH'S PARADE! SARAH PALIN IS INEXPERIENCED! SHE HAS NO EXPERIENCE! SHE IS A GOVERNOR -- A GOVERNOR! SHE WAS NEVER A COMMUNITY ACTIVIST! FOR THE LOVE OF THE MESSIAH! RUN THE TAPES OF THE TEMPLE CORONATION! MCSAME IS CHANGING THE STORY! INEXPERIENCE! SHE IS DAN QUAYLE! SHE! SHE! SHE IS A SHE! DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! GET JOE BIDEN! BOOK JOE BIDEN! SWEET MERCIFUL STALIN! MORE >> |
  | First published in 1967 in commemoration of the
50th anniversary of the Russian Revolution This is an Internet version of Victor Vashi's original book, which is long out of print and the publisher no longer exists. The message of this book is so vital and well delivered we felt it a shame not to share it with the world. Especially considering the recent attempts by Russia's ruling elite to bring back the glory of the good old USSR. MORE >> |
Headlines from the Year 2020
 | - Secretary of State Pelosi featured on new 9-dollar bill
- Michael Moore sweeps Oscars with his film Bin Laden Mon Amour
- Development of squirrel-driven automobile engine halted by PETA protests
- Archbishop of Canterbury presides over first Muslim coronation ceremony
- President Michelle Obama paroles all non-white convicts in America; “We must begin healing process,” she declares
- Hamas nukes Copenhagen; UN condemns Israel
- Supreme Court approves quotas for mentally-retarded applicants to PhD programs in the humanities
- Republican Party officials formally admit guilt for oppressing the masses; party disbanded
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Ferguson Wins Gold in Men's 3/4 Acre Lawnmower Event
 | Crowds Scream as Ferguson Mows for Gold
In a stunning upset here at Beijing, Lamar Ferguson of Marietta, GA, won gold in the men's 3/4 acre lawnmower event over the heavily favored Mexican champion, Pedro Rodriguez. Our special correspondent Blogunov, who is in Beijing making sure that all events receive equal coverage, interviewed Ferguson for the People's Cube. MORE >> |
Are You Fully Prepared To Protest U.S. Imperialism?
Preparing for the massive protests of progressive forces during the 2008 DNC in Denver, (August 25-28), the KG3 Directorate at the People's Cube designed a series of visual ads with the goal of elevating the often misunderstood image of the anonymous street protester to the heights of heroic and selfless service to humankind where it belongs (right next to Guevara, Mumia, and Obama).
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"Leave Barack Alone!" Kos Meltdown on CNN
 | Markos Moulitsas, the founder of the completely balanced and level-headed mainstream blog, The Daily Kos, broke down in tears during a CNN interview yesterday, exclaiming, "Leave Barack alone!" The dramatic moment occurred while discussing the latest scandal involving the Obama campaign's illegal acceptance of large donations from Palestinians residing in the Gaza strip. MORE >> |
Politically Correct Pickup Lines
 | The recently surfaced pictures of Senator John Kerry partying with a group of underage intoxicated female voters underscored the urgent need for Party-approved pickup lines, so that progressive leaders would no longer embarrass the movement with lame offers to "play socialized medicine," or brag about their "really small carbon footprint." If applied correctly, such pickup lines would save the working people and the middle class of this country innumerable hours they would rather devote to advancing progress in their communities. Below are some of our suggestions, broken down by categories. Feel free to add your own. MORE >> |
BestObamaFacts.com: New People's Website
- Every now and then, Obama opens his eyes and the world springs into existence.
- When a tree falls in the forest, Obama hears it.
- Obama can clap with one hand.
- Prometheus was punished for plagiarizing Obama.
- Obama can make a journey of a thousand miles without a single step.
- Socks worn by Obama are used for climbing walls in Spiderman movies.
- Hillary Clinton dropped out of the race when she learned Obama's true name.
- "Obama" is the very first word in the English language to be a verb, adjective, noun, pronoun, adverb, interjection, superlative and pronad. (Pronad is a new category made specifically for the word "Obama" so its power can be fully realized).
- When Obama squints dreamily into the distance, he can see next week's lottery winning numbers. But he never plays because that would mean poverty of ambition.
- Obama can calculate your guilt just by looking at the numbers in your checkbook.
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Barack Obama's Choice For Veep Is Barack Obama
 | In a brilliant move, which media pundits are describing as audacious, Barack Obama has chosen himself to be his own running mate. "That's how I roll," Obama told reporters in a briefly held brief briefing during the intermission of a Bon Jovi concert, after which he dropped the microphone with a loud thump. As he left the stage, members of the press corps ripped off their shirts and threw them toward the stage, while their female colleagues threw their panties, all of them experiencing what can only be described as "minimally disguised orgasms." MORE >> |
Obama Lowers Sea Levels, But Sadly Discovers Atlantis
 | Despite the predictions that Barack Obama would not act on his promise to lower the sea levels until he officially becomes President, the presumptive Democratic nominee went ahead and lowered the oceans last month in a hectic attempt to boost his own shrinking poll numbers. However, the resulting growth of landmass turned into a mixed blessing when it unexpectedly revealed the lost world of Atlantis with a history so shocking and controversial that Obama is now contemplating re-sinking the island by returning the seas to their previous levels. What the artifacts of Atlantis have told the world, is a story of the demise of a once great nation whose citizens grew spoiled and apathetic as they forgot the reasons for their success and allowed a sense of entitlement and self-loathing to set in. MORE >> |
VIDEO: The OBAMAnable Snowjob (rare uncensored)
WARNING: These videos contain extremely forward-thinking language. Send your children (if any) to play in the street or something before watching. MORE >>
The Audacity of the Dope: Obama's High Skool Years
 | CHAPTER 2 - THE HIGH SKOOL YEARS
(Note from Obama: As I have said previously, my policy is to name this chapter "The High Skool Years"; it was never my policy to name this chapter anything else.) Barack Obama attended high school (or was it school, high? Nah, go with the first one) at the prestigious George Orwell Academy for the Political Performing Arts on the West Side of Chicago. There, he met his best friends for the next few years, Fat Albert and Rerun. MORE >> |
The Audacity of the Dope: The Greatest Obama Story Ever...
 | CHAPTER 1 - THE BEGINNING OF THE START
Barack Obama was born Steven Urkel in a log cabin near Springfield, Illinois. His father was a militant piano tuner from one of those African countries where they change the national boundaries every other week. His mother was a loan officer at the Oppressed Proletariat Bank and Trust Company where she spent her days rejecting loans to people who had little more to cling to than God and guns. As a communist, she hated that her job forced her to oppress the poor and disenfranchised; but, also as a communist, she loved power and control so she threw herself into her work with alacrity. His father, not finding a large number of militant pianos in the American Great Plains, left the fledgling family for places with more bellicose musical tastes, leaving young Steven and his mom to fight capitalism alone. MORE >> |
DNC: Dirty Jobs for the Common Good™
 | The scandalous new cover of New Yorker Magazine, depicting Barack Obama dressed as a Muslim and his wife Michelle as a militant black supremacist, turns out to be nothing more than the first step in a bold new Democrat strategy of playing both hands while the opponent simply watches, stated Earnest Trutok, Assistant Deputy Undersecretary of Media Relations in the Obama Camp. "We have prepared a large pile of dirty and revolting images that show Barack and his family in a much worse light than this," Trutok added, admitting that the forthcoming cartoon is jarringly out-of-place in the traditionally progressive New Yorker. "We have no choice but to run them ourselves in the friendly media due the refusal of the Republican Party to play its proper role in the final months of the campaign," Trutok stated. MORE >> |
Obama's Nuts And Their Magical Properties
Jesse Jackson's nut envy is understandable once you realize
the power and the magnitude of Obama's testicles. | The fact that the former Democratic presidential candidate and civil rights leader Rev. Jesse Jackson wanted to cut out some of Barack Obama's nuts for himself was hardly a surprise to anyone familiar with their miraculous properties. For a long time, people from all cultures of America and beyond have sought to incorporate Obama's nuts into their lives, both as objects of beauty and as tools for the body, mind and spirit. Every Obama's nut is unique with various properties and characteristics and has the ability to induce hope, as well as store, receive, and transmit energy. Other legendary properties include the ability to attract compassion and understanding of the media, reveal the location of other people's money, ward off unwanted inquiries, and prevent drug overdose. MORE >> |
Life Imitates The Cube: Iran's Mullahs Photoshop Missiles
Drill ANBR (The Algore Numbskull Baldspot Refuge)
 | The KG3 IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE A NEW CAMPAIGN WITH A SOLUTION TO THE NATIONAL ENERGY CRISIS: We urge the congress to shut up and open ANBR (the Algore Numbskull Baldspot Refuge) DRILL HERE. DRILL NOW. DRILL AL.* Satellite imagery reveals that despite protests by Greenazi groups of “damage to pristine forestation!”, the area targeted for drilling is, in fact barren of any foliage whatsoever. The first glimpse of gore’s “flesh tone beanie” at the democrat convention in august 2000... MORE >> |
Obama's Flip-Flopping Caused by Evil Twin
 | Not since Dylan went electric have the liberal progressives felt so alienated and hurt by a pop culture icon's sudden change from a familiar folksy sound to the sort of contrived distortion that one often hears closer to the center. But it turns out that Obama's sudden rightward shift has an easy and rational explanation: he has an evil twin who often poses as Good Obama and spouts disturbingly non-progressive views. The absolute resemblance of the Obama twins makes it almost impossible to distinguish between the two, although it has been reported that Evil Obama wears a goatee. MORE >> |
FROM THE PEOPLE'S ARCHIVES:
4th of July and The Alternative Secret History of the World
| On the Fourth of July Americans will be cynically celebrating the greatest setback world progress has ever endured in all of human history. The rest of humankind will, of course, be grieving over the dark day when the United States of America was born. To understand the full scope of this tragedy we must look back at the pre-7/04 world and see what it was like to live on planet Earth before 1776. Prior to July 4, 1776, not a single person in the world starved, got sick, worked hard for a living, or experienced any pain and anxiety. No one had ever been oppressed or unfairly exploited because the oppressive and unfair American system had not yet been created. MORE >> |
Mad About Bush
 | It all started one night when I was talking to my friend on the phone. We were discussing the best way to impeach Bush when suddenly we heard a strange clicking noise. It was like someone had picked up the receiver on another line, but different, and more sinister. We paused for a moment then continued. I went first: "I think the FBI is listening to us. Switch to the code words." "Why would they listen to us?" my friend asked. "Code words!" I reminded him. "Oh, um, spoon rocket splindledum Bush... how do I say impeach again?" "Brad Pitt!" ... MORE >> |
Find Your Second Self And Sue The Hell Out Of It
 | The recent sightings of Che Guevara's iconic image next to prominent members of the progressive community must have been a harbinger of things to come - for just hours ago in the blessed city of Denver, on the eve of the honorable and equitable Democratic Party convention, the ghost of Che appeared in the night to a secretly convened meeting of the Party leadership. Thus spoke Che: "Friends, muchachos, comrades, fellow revolutionaries: Listen carefully to my words, for I have been granted leave from the netherworld only for a sufficient time to deliver a prophecy that shall guide your social policy when you take the reins of power ... MORE >> |
Obama's Birth Certificate Proves He Is Not From Earth
 | In another distraction meant to keep American voters away from the real issues, Fox News channel announced today that the GOP is in possession of a birth certificate proving beyond doubt that Barack Obama's real birthplace is, in fact, planet Lappa IV, located in the Alpha Quadrant and inhabited by a splinter group of the Ferengi species, who have developed a highly collectivist culture based on the principles of socialist acquisition and redistribution of wealth. MORE >> |
Supreme Court Gitmo Decision Triggers New TV Series
 | Inspired by the recent US Supreme Court ruling to grant all detainees Habeas Corpus rights, three major American networks are about to launch new legal drama series that feature lawyers litigating in defense of armed Muslim bystanders picked up on the battlefield and wrongly accused of being enemy combatants. Quick spin-offs of such successful shows as Law & Order and Boston Legal are in the works at ABC and NBC, while CBS promises an original sitcom about a lawyer who not only defends accused terrorists, but is himself a terrorist. In the words of Boston Legal's creator David E. Kelley, "This court decision gives Hollywood elites a rare opportunity to correct American biases toward terrorists... MORE >> |
VIDEO: I Only Sleep With Democrats
 | Some of the dire consequences of political inbreeding in Blue States. This is a parody of TruthThroughAction.org's short film, Blue Balled. The original film, horribly edited, has a message so badly cobbled together that to parody it is like whacking a pinata with a boat oar, sans blindfold. But we couldn't resist. The film is so self-satisfyingly smug it has a virtual "kick me" sign on it. MORE >> |
The New Age Annoints a New Opiate
 | "God is dead, and we have killed him." So said the great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Thus, there is a void that can be exploited in the herd that is the American voting population." With these words opened the first neo-ecumenical council of world pseudo-religions held June 10 - 13, 2008, in Ventnor City, New Jersey. "We are here to proclaim the arrival of an Enlightened Being who will lead us to Justice, Peace, Health and Wholeness. All the evils in the world are the Fault of the Bushitler, and it is time to fix that. With the refrain that "it is all Bush's fault" echoing through the halls, it was little surprise that the New-Age Faiths offered their unanimous endorsement to Senator Barack Hussein Obama's presidential campaign. MORE >> |
Canadian Police Start Wider Crackdown On Un-Islamic Dress
 | OTTAWA (Reuters) - Royal Mounted Police have launched a more extensive crackdown on "social corruption" such as women flouting Islamic dress codes on Monday. "In its wider crackdown which has started from Saturday, police will confront those who appear in public in an indecent way and will also seal off shops selling un-Islamic dress," the newspaper said, quoting an unnamed police official. MORE >> |
Obama's Website Solves World's Energy Crisis
 | Barack Obama has unveiled a new plan for equitable consumption and distribution of global energy, aimed to level the playing field and give Americans a realistic chance to become accepted as equals by members of the global community. "If you were born a sheepherder in a nomadic village in Sub Saharan Africa, why shouldn't you be getting the same quotas of gasoline, food, and electricity as an American consumer?" explains Iona Morningwood, Senior Policy Advisor on matters of resource allowance for the Obama campaign. MORE >> |
It has long been thought that Sean Penn was born the son of Leo Penn, a Hollywood director who defied the House Committee on Un-American Activities and was subsequently blacklisted. But shortly before the US invasion in Iraq the actor's mother confided in him that his true father was "some Middle Eastern guy" from a grocery on the corner. | FROM THE PEOPLE'S ARCHIVES
Rafsanjani to Penn: "Sean, I am your Father!" Sean Penn had long ago wondered about the source for his irrational disdain for America and its values. At home or on the movie set, the progressive actor would often find himself muttering, "The Great Satan must be destroyed!" but couldn't quite put his finger on the reasons why. His mysterious predisposition towards wife-beating, accentuated by wearing a mustache, made him wonder on many occasions, who he could blame for it. "I knew it couldn't be my fault," the Oscar-winning actor told us. "Individual responsibility is a sham invented by the Republicans to put minorities in jail. So I couldn't blame my own character. It had to be my genetics or my upbringing. I didn't grow up in a ghetto, unfortunately - so it had to be the genetic thing. But which oppressed ethnic minority was I part of?" MORE >> |
Obama: He's Got it! (People's Karaoke)
 |
To celebrate the next phase of the Obamunist Revolution, we submit this anthem for His Obamaness (formerly known as Venus by the Shocking Blue). The Goddess on the Mountain Top
She's thinkin' she could beat the Man
Got toppled by a thousand fools
all chanting "Yes We Can!"
He's got it!
Obama, he's got it!
He's the savior-
He's on fire-
He's your Messiah!
TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS! >> |
World's Evilest Thugs Shocked as GOP Takes Hell Hot Spot
 | (Dante's Inferno, 7th Level) - Senator Dick Durbin's (D-IL) comment "The hottest ring in Hell is reserved for those in politics who attack their opponents' families" made to NBC's Norah O'Donnell has sent shockwaves to evil thugs around the world, who thought they were a shoe-in for the top hot spot in the eternal pit of damnation and hellfire. An assortment of Nazis, Communists, terrorists, and other violent and sadistic figures were found consoling each other shortly after Durbin's official announcement. MORE >> |
This Day In History: An Open Letter to Google
 | Dear Google comrades Sergei and Larry! The Party looks kindly at your attempts to correct and improve history by unobtrusively modifying the Google logo on notable calendar dates. For years you have zealously informed the masses about progressive and useful events like Earth Day or Earth Hour, while purposefully ignoring Memorial Day (no logo change on this reactionary American holiday). Most recently, you enlightened the unwashed about the Spanish artist Velázquez on June 6 without mentioning the Allied Invasion of Normandy on D-Day, a celebration of which would indeed be offensive to National Socialists. MORE >> |
Jobless GM Automakers Celebrate Saving The Planet
 | American automakers responded with great enthusiasm to yesterday's decision by General Motors to compost its gas-guzzling business model and close four pickup truck and SUV plants - a unilateral gesture of good will towards the environment that will result in 10,000 lost jobs. The automaker communities are widely celebrating the event with eco-friendly block parties, Earth fairs, outdoor concerts of New Age music, drum circles in the wilderness, meditations, body painting, and unrhymed poetry readings that venerate the earth as a living, spiritual being that feels pain when it is bring drilled for oil. MORE >> |
Cubists! Make the Dem Convention in Denver your pwn!
Comrades graphic artists and sloganeers - here's a challenge for you!
Don't you wish to see your own slogans and graphics on placards just outside the DNC Convention in Denver this August? Here is your chance! Our good friends in Denver are organizing a counter-rally and related activities during the DNC convention this summer, and they asked us for some slogans and political graphics that they could put on their placards...
MORE >>
What is Politics Doing to Our Youth?
 | Dr. Pipewailer's research into the effect of politics in college-aged women examined the lives of several politically active females from early in their education to the present day. It revealed what appears to be a disturbing trend... MORE >> |
Father Pfleger Steals Act From Bobcat Goldthwait
 | "I'm a black man in a white man's world!"
"Sir, you are Caucasian..."
"Throw that in my face why don't you!" MORE >> |
Obama E. Newman, Barakula Obamahitler, and More...
  | Reactionary satirists have begun their usual demonization of progressives leaders. Leave it to rightwingers to describe Barack Obama as Hitler, Alfred E. Newman, or Barakula! Progressive satirists would've never done this to Republican candidates! We would've never printed a picture of George Bush as Alfred E. Newman on a magazine cover and ranked it in top 40 best magazine covers! We would've never put a mustache on Bush's face and call him Bushitler. And there's more... MORE >> |
Conference On Islamic Wakefulness Turns Into A Sleepover
 | The recent International Conference on Islamic Unity and Wakefulness in the 21st Century in Tehran became a fiasco as it failed to keep the delegates awake long enough for the photo ops. Soon after they were seated, the attendees began to doze off and fall from their seats, with nobody left alert enough to pick them up. The conference was closed on the second day after the neighbors complained that the continuous snoring was making their pets paranoid. The tone of the event was set by the Director of the Expediency Council of Iran, who nodded off before finishing his welcoming address. "Today more than ever, the Islamic World is in need of wakefulness of Muslims," he said as he slowly slid behind the pulpit. MORE >> |
Memorial Day At The Cube
Made to the music of
The Magnificent Seven
| They trekked thousands of miles in searing heat...
They crossed the border risking life and limb...
They get paid peanuts...
They do jobs others refuse to do...
Some people back in their own country treat them with little respect...
They live crammed together in substandard conditions...
They rarely see their families...
They have to learn a foreign language and culture...
They recognize only one flag... WHO ARE THEY? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT >> |
Communists for Obama (on Pajamas Media)
 | Barack Obama's massive pre-primary rally in Portland, OR, was aided in no small part by the appearance of an uber-hip band. Their gimmick? They start each performance with the Soviet national anthem. MORE >> |
The New GOP: Yes We Can Out-Democrat the Democrats!  | Having successfully shed the burden of conservative values, the Republican National Committee has retooled and is now launching a new ad campaign to let the American people know that Democrats aren't the only party of empty slogans and slick marketing techniques. Below is a sneak preview of the new RNC banners, print ads, and promotional items you will be seeing often in the coming months. MORE >> |
People's Karaoke: You Say You Want An Obamanation
Ted Kennedy's Judgment Day
 | BOSTON, May 17 - Reuters reported that "U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy, a leading Democrat and patriarch of a prominent U.S. political dynasty, suffered a seizure on Saturday but hours later was talking with family at his side in a Boston hospital." The unverbalized question on everyone's mind is, has the Empress finally initiated the feared nuclear sequence by terminating the most influential superdelegate who was among the first to abandon her and join Obama's faction? Join the pre-emptive memorial thread. MORE >> |
Volcano Releases One Trillion Cow Farts Into Atmosphere
 | On May 2, Chile's Chaiten Volcano released a gigantic cloud of emissions composed of ash, steam, smoke, and various oddball gases whose estimated amount equals to one trillion cow farts, a UN-sponsored climate change study revealed. "In just one day, this volcano set the Kyoto Protocol back 15 years, obliterating the otherwise outstanding success of our multi-billion dollar efforts to curb the release of cow farts into the atmosphere," complained Chairman of Intergovernmental Panel on Cow Farts (IPCF) Rajendra K. Pachauri at an emergency conference at Grand Plaza Hotel in New York yesterday. "Therefore, we demand that this eruption be considered unscientific and thus disqualified from inclusion into climate change models. Need I mention that it wasn't sanctioned by the the United Nations?" MORE >> |
MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL:
A Vagina Monologue You'd Rather Not See
 | Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers of progress from exploring the wide range of tasks their sexual organs can accomplish. Thinking is one of them. I once started writing a comment on the Offensive Arts thread but it turned out bigger and more serious than I had expected. It kept growing the next day and the day after that. When it was fully grown I trimmed it a bit, brushed off some odd pieces, and sent it to Pajamas Media. MORE >> |
The KG3: Three Very Cagey Artists Join The Cube
 | Who or what are The KG3? And why? Perhaps it is not wise to ask too many questions. This new section is a must see. And when the Party says you must, it means that you must. 
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE KG3 GRAPHICS >> |
People's Ads: Clip & Save!
Surviving May 2nd: Even Reds Get The Blues
 | DETROIT, MICHIGAN - Post-May Day depression is a growing malady that affects many progressives and pro-Communists each year, usually beginning late in the afternoon on May 1 and continuing until the morning of the next May Day. For some, it is a result of too much sign-making and short-range marching with very few people giving a crap. Many left-wing agitators in the United States and other free nations have mild symptoms, but others are subjected to an almost paralyzing agony.
This article shows how dejected collectivists around the world can combat May Day depression by just taking a few simple precautions. MORE >> |
Official May Day Signal From Laika
 | 4th Official May Day Signal to Strong Obamunists, Hillary Operatives, and Fifth Column McCain Supporters: Comrades! Such Progress Our Progressive Progressivism the World Has Never Seen! May Day! MORE >> |
Chevy Bill Ayers: A Classic Ride for Limousine Liberals
 | Can't win at the ballot box? Get a Chevy Bill Ayers! - Reinforced bumpers: perfect for ramming government buildings
- With the top down everyone can see you giving the finger
- Oversized trunk can fit up to 800 lbs. of nail bombs.
- Room for 18 standard-sized bumper stickers
- Tires made of reclaimed sandal soles: great for spreading a message of peace as you plow through a police barricade
- All models are mirrorless because alternate views are meaningless
- Only comes in communist red with a yellow interior
- Runs on bong water
- Built in bullhorn
- Only turns left
No money down and your daddy pays the rest! MORE >> |
Jimmy Carter's Habitat For Hamas
 Carter hard at work as Hamas members prepare to launch fireworks in celebration. | After finishing Habitat for Hamsters in San Francisco, President Jimmy Carter went on to start a new Habitat for Hamas project in Gaza, building new homes for families whose homes were destroyed by Israeli bulldozers in retaliation for suicide bombings.
Jimmy Carter says he feels “quite at ease” working with Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal. I've been meeting with Hamas leaders for years, I find them to be peace-loving people, and they are just misunderstood by bigoted Americans. If Israel would dismantle their system of Apartheid, and meet all the demands of Hamas, everyone could live in peace and harmony. MORE >> |
Obama Fights Back With A Historic Speech on Rednecks
 | Dodging the flak over his description of typical small-town rednecks as those who turn to guns and Bibles if left without government supervision, Obama has once again skillfully turned the tables on his opponents with the same maneuver he used during the Jeremiah Wright "controversy": he returned to Philadelphia and  delivered a sweeping speech on the legacy of rednecks in a post-redneck society and the importance of establishing a full government control over the redneck territories - a speech that political strategists agree hearkens back to those of America's founders, and deserves a similar place in history.
MORE >> |
April 12: Cosmonautics Day
Laika The Space Dog Honored With Statue
 | To many progressives Soviet space program symbolized the superiority of planned socialist economy over the greedy and selfish capitalist market. But the Greater Good requires sacrifices. The very first unprecedented and heroic sacrifice in space was made not by Gagarin, but by Laika the Space Dog, who volunteered to be the first living creature in space four years prior to Gagarin. And unlike that of Gagarin's, Laika's flight plan didn't involve a return from orbit, which makes this dog's dedication to progress and socialism even more endearing to the hearts of all common people around the world, and a shining example for all progressives to follow. MORE >> |
The Renegade Exodus and Other Crimes of Moses
 | Now that the idea of social awareness and class struggle has reached American pulpits, it was only a matter of time before progressive historical revisionism left its academic confines and flooded the nation's churches, raising consciousness of the worshiping masses and prompting them to re-evaluate archaic concepts of "faith," "freedom," and "morality." Armed with the winning theory of class struggle, more and more oppressed churchgoers are finding the courage to speak out against violations of human rights in the ancient world, and indeed against the entire litany of "traditional" "conceptions" based on the "Bible" and its "teachings." In this sense, the conference of religious leaders and scholars from around the world, titled "From Security to Homelessness: Moses and the Renegade Exodus of the Hebrews" was the first major event of its kind, focusing on Moses' fraudulent activities and the resulting major humanitarian disaster called the Exodus. MORE >> |
In An Absolut World of The People's Cube
Muslim Scientists Develop 'Mother of all Erasers' 
| From our Back in the News department
Western terror labs have finally produced a weapon so horrific that it has shaken Islamic world to the core, making over a billion people from Morocco to Indonesia fear for the survival of their freedoms, morals, beliefs, cultures, governments, and the very life itself. The new weapon of terror, the so-called "Cartoon," is capable of delivering an equivalent of one million Hiroshima bombs, resulting in a horrendous mass destruction like none seen on Earth before. "I see no way to combat this horrific infidel weapon other than by balanced, fair, and rational hostage-taking, bomb-throwing, and embassy-burning, based on strict Islamic law and mutual understanding of our commin goal, which is the Islamization of Earth. These methods have proven efficient in dealing with the West in the past..." MORE >> |
April 1: The People Cube is Three Years Old!
Cube's writer at Groupthink computer | Within this period we have posted nine million articles that were viewed by sixty billion people in more than three hundred thousand countries. Our stories were quoted on ninety million websites and translated into fifteen thousand languages. Our mailroom workers responded to sixty four million fan emails, and the site membership has exceeded seventy hundred million registered users. See previous glorious celebrations >> | | |
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