With urgent and serious problems facing Ukraine, what was the sudden rush?
On this day, 1 April 2015, the People's Cube is celebrating ten glorious years of unstoppable revolutions. Jubilant masses of correctly educated workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia are coming together in towns and villages around the world, carrying People's Cube posters, peacefully hurling red cubes at the capitalist classes, and spontaneously chanting Party-approved slogans: "Long live the Glorious World of Next Tuesday! Hurrah!" "Cheers for our beloved comrade Red Square, People's Director!" "We need more visual agitation and propaganda to tell us what to think!" ...
People from all corners of the earth gather to the Cube in Mecca for education and enlightenment. Only instead of rotating it like we do with the People's Cube, they run in circles around it, like the unionized electricians of a certain non-Muslim ethnic minority who rotate the stepladder while changing the light bulb.
Since the rest of the Islamic narrative about the Cube's origin is not in compliance with the Marxist theory of Historical Materialism, below is a korrekted version, developed by the scientists of the Karl Marx Treatment Center.
A member of the Russian parliament from the Communist Party, Comrade Obukhov, has officially¬†stated¬†that the assassination of Boris Nemtsov is nothing like those of Kirov and Kennedy. That almost sounds nostalgic: they don't shoot 'em like they used to. He should know, since both Kirov and Kennedy had been gunned down by communists. But it could also be sour grapes.
Russia's authoritarianism hasn't been the same ever since the Party had lost its license to kill, but there's still a chance...
Looking like a gigantic allegorical suppository for the American president, the green twelve-foot rocket emblazoned with the hammer and sickle over a red star brought up Cold War memories of real intercontinental missiles the Soviet government would parade in Red Square as a vague threat to its enemies. There was no vagueness this time: in large print letters, the message on the rocket said, "To be delivered to Obama in person."
It is a little known fact, however, that when the President first took the pencil and focused on random visual ideas, he accidentally drew a picture of Mohammed. The filming stopped. The ruined sheet was ripped out of the sketchbook and tossed into the waste basket.
On the second attempt, as Obama sat in front of the blank sheet and tried not to think about Mohammed; his hand moved making random lines, which in the end, taken together, looked like Mohammed. That sheet also went into the waste basket.
If Ann Coulter were to live in Russia, her writing would probably be similar to that of¬†Yulia Latynina, one of my favorite Russian-language political commentators and critics of Putin's government.
Latynina's¬†latest column, I believe, must be shared with all people living in Western countries, or at least with those not yet trapped inside the intellectual maze of their own invention. In this conflict of civilizations, winning requires clarity of vision -- something the West no longer has due to its postmodernist obsession with recalibrating and redefining itself.
Below is my somewhat loose translation of Latynina's column - "loose" because, as you will see later, precision sometimes is the enemy of clarity.
Since the monkey was born, Putin's approval rating has remained at 86% without any signs of decline, according to zoo officials.
Ahmed Jihad of the Qatar-funded charity Make Bombs, Not Cartoons sadly stated that "This is the end of a tenuous peace between Muslims and Infidels, with only the occasional beheading, open market suicide bomb, or fiery suicide plane mission."
This is where the "life imitates satire" part begins. While everyone realized this was a joke, many Russian readers, swept by the current wave of militant nationalism, turned the comment sections of blogs and news websites into an anti-American hate-fest, gloating over Santa's death, praising Russia's military, disparaging Western consumerism, and wishing that Western leaders attending Santa's funeral on the North Pole would drown along with St. Nick's dead body. Some even expressed concern that certain nitwits out there may think the story is real and will draw incorrect conclusions about Russia's peaceful policies. All of them unwittingly proved the point of the¬†Daily Currant's¬†satire:
Several ultra-nationalist politicians in Moscow have praised the downing, which targeted a popular Western celebrity. "Santa Claus is a symbol of Western decadence and consumerism," said Alexei Onnatopp, leader of the far-right Golden Bear party. "Whoever killed this fat, corrupt man is a patriot and a hero.
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
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