From The Desk Of Nancy Pelosi

---

To: House of Representatives
RE: Obamacare
3-11-10  9:30pm

     There has been much talk lately about exactly how we are to proceed on the President's most urgent agenda item, Real Healthcare Reform. At 3:45 this afternoon, I confiscated the DeLorean Time Machine from the Time-Space Continuum Czar to procure answers from the glorious World of Next Tuesday.
     I am pleased to announce that in the year 2045, I was able to meet my future enhanced self, Skeletor-Pelosi. Thanks to Obamacare, my future self will be fused with an exoskeleton, thus preserving my natural beauty for eternity. SkP informed me the answer lies in the proper use of the Slaughter Rule: first, I should travel to March 19, 2010 and take note of the results of the final vote on the Senate bill. I observed that the vote was 538 yea 0 nay. Pleased with what is nothing short of a legislative miracle, I traveled back in time to this afternoon; and can declare with certainty (or some might use the word "deem") that the bill has passed. Having thus deemed certainty of passage, I hereby suspend all further voting today, seeing that it has already passed. The President's signature on the bill tomorrow morning should sufficiently close the loop in the Space-Time Continuum.


     In memoriam of this historic day, I posed for a snapshot in front of the DeLorean, posted here courtesy of the Czar-Czar Economic Visual Agitation Studio:

Today an angry 'Berlin Bunker Bob' Gibbs railed against the Senate Parliamentarian's finding, made at the request of Senate Republicans, that President Obama must first sign the original Congressional Health Bill before the Senate can move toward Reconciliation.

"It's no longer a matter of health care" declared Gibbs as he pounded on the podium before a captive captivated audience of White House Press Corpse reporters "It's a matter of triumph of the will. We will march this legislation to Stalingrad and back if we must."

Citing Republican obstructionism, Gibbs was quoted as saying "These filthy Jew loving neo-con bastards will taste the heel of our jackboots in due course."

Reporters were stunned mesmerized by the power of the Press Secretary's delivery on this historic, groundbreaking power grab as they were lead away to take their place in the mass grave that was hastily dug in the Rose Garden.

Gibbs then retired to a closed door meeting between Nancy Pelosi and Blue Dog Democrats which was punctuated with the muffled sound of gunfire and screams.

I hate to speak for others, but I will. Most of us that create photochop satire and such aren't doing it for the money, mainly because beyond a few t-shirt sells and a little Google Ads income there is no money to be made (not that I can see). We do it to advance our ideas and/or to expose liberal progressivism for the evil that it is, and in the process maybe make a few people laugh. Most of us have no problem with our work being distributed around the interwebz, I myself encourage it, all we ask is that you don't remove our signatures or logos and when possible a link to our various websites is appreciated.

So when I discovered this thief's site this morning, it really infuriated me. What this asshat is doing is scrubbing my and many others photochops of all identifying marks and re-posting them as if he created them. He is a fraud and liar, and I'm declaring WAR on him and his site.

I emailed Big Fur Hat with the link because he has often alerted me when he finds similar violations. He has posted a topic at iowntheworld.com which I recommend reading. BFH rips him a new a**hole.

Here are just a couple of the many examples.

Comrades, if the Party is going to use our ideas, shouldn't they give us credit?  I'm sure we came up with the following work-around first....



Comrades, this is the most awesome display of progressive political dexterity since Adolf Hitler burnt down the Reichstag failed to call the Berlin fire department when the Reichstag caught fire.  I'm so proud of us.    

This next one is in keeping with the spirit of religious freedom we have always endeavored to promote in the Collective:




Comrades, it is only fair (I love that word!) that since our Islamic friends gave us the idea to use the full body scan, we should reward them by not making them submit to it.  And an added benefit is that TSA personnel will not be wasting time scanning friendly peaceful Muslims and thus will have more time to more closely examine the Tea-Baggers and other right-wing extremists who are flying planes into government buildings.

I believe we should congratulate ourselves (not that we, as Progressives, don't do this frequently anyway but what the heck) for supplying these wonderful inspired ideas for the Common Good!  Thank You, People's Cube!  You're Welcome, Amerikka!

In light of the recent political difficulty (see Comrade Rham abusing naked legislators, Minister Rangle's innocent ethical lapses, Supreme General Secretary Obama's collapsing poll numbers, etc) and as a reward for the toiling effort of the proles to enact our crumbling glorious agenda the Council of People's Commissars decrees that tonight; you shall have entertainment!

From the creators of Великий гражданин and the glorious Государственный комитет по телевидению и радиовещанию СССР, Гостелерадио СССР, the People's Blog is proud to present for your progish pleasure the delight that is,

Trololo:

Serfdom should not forget it!

The struggle against racism and the victories against it have always been a vital barometer of social progress in the U.S.  We as Communists have understood since the first years of our party's birth more than any other integrated political group that a steady and continual struggle against racism could not be separated from all working class struggles and was necessary to the development of class consciousness and unity among the working class.

But there are still millions and millions of Americans, including working class people, influenced by racist ideology, "uncomfortable"with an African-American president, targets for rightwing politicians seeking to "surf" in what they hope will be a wave of racist backlash.And rightwing media appeals to them.

Yesterday a colleague of mine mentioned that she heard on a prominent rightwing talk radio station in New Jersey callers claiming that the Obama construction stimulus funds were being used for construction jobs for Blacks, a crackpot statement that can easily be shown to be factually false, but that is not the point--the prejudice is the point and such examples of the big lie are around and are being spread in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Let it be known comrades, Obama is 1/2 black and there be racust in our midst... who don't even know they're racust!  Be alert!

Thank Lenin that we have federally funded racist eradication stations(?) already in place and running full speed ahead!

Obama willing...

Earth-Hour Lights Out must NOW become "Earth-Decade Lights Out"

Fellow Comrades, Progs, Proles and Sweating Masses:

To save Mother Earth, we must make 2010 the year in which "Earth-Decade Lights-Out" superseded (dare I say "eclipsed") "Earth-Hour Lights-Out."  More follows the entrance (below) into the land of The Gorbels Cube:



GAIA Mininister Neytiri wholeheartedly agrees with me.  Ten years of lights out living within the harmony-with-nature rules that have held sway on her native planet, Pandora, for eons, will be sufficient  to reverse our pushig Mother Earth toward the cataclysmic result of Global Warming.

Skeptics may ask:

"How will we make it through the night?  If we burn fires, won't we be adding CO2 to the atmosphere and thus making Global Warming worse instead of better"

There is a clear scientific answer to that:

What do Na'vis do at night?  They spend the evenings in stimulating ways that only require starlight and the sense of touch.  

But skeptics say, "Doesn't that lead to a population explosion and thus cause a carbon-footprint bomb coinciding with a population bomb?"

The answer is obviously "no" because the carbon-footprint bomb comes not from increases in population but rather upon the effects of what the increased population does-- i.e, innovation, inventiveness, etc."

But skeptics say, "But that's impossible-- a population cannot be so stagnant."

They're wrong.  We already have scientific evidence.  An experiment conducted on Earth decades ago prove that embracing a "Na'vi" type of harmony-with-nature lifestyle does yield a population that wisely eschews climate-threatening behavior such as innovation, inventiveness, etc.  The Woodstock Generation has proven this beyond any serious doubt.

Additionally, as an enticement to encourage younger generations of Americans to save Mother Earth by emulating the Woodstock Generation, we have ready means to persuade them.  The young generations today are especially computer-savvy.  Unlike the older generations, they are eager to embrace computer models.



Thus, we emulate "Rock the Vote's" utilization of raw sexual appeal to entice scientifically untrained minds in the younger generations to eagerly embrace our cause.

We must be open to other, additional ways to induce the population at large to embrace "Earth-Decade Lights-Out."

--Gorbels Cube

Comrades, tonight is the night to have a local block party. Shoot fireworks. Give away prizes. Free beer. The proles must not watch Glenn Beck on Faux Noise this evening. As all made progressives know, Faux Noise is never right but this evening that pop-eyed fat little right-wing monster is proposing something monstrous: he's going to have on Eric Massa.

Eric Massa is the Congressman from New York who just resigned, not even serving a full term. It was said that he made improper advances against a male aide, but when did that ever stop a Progressive?

Remember Gerry Studs was censured in 1983 for having an affair with a 17-year-old male page. Censured but not thrown out, and in 1983 too. We've had a lot of sex since then to immunize us. 1983 was the Reagan terror and was not at all sympathetic to anything but fascist reich-wingers.

Kennedys have a right in the Constitution, put in by John Adams himself, to prong anything that they want to, or to kill people out of carelessness, and still they're our Royal Family.

Let's remember Bonnie Fwank from Massachusetts, and his embroilment with Steve Gobie, a male prostitute.

But it's obvious that we must believe that this is a sex scandal because the traitor Massa tonight on Glenn Beck is going to maintain that he was forced from office because he voted against Cap-n-Tax and isn't for Obamacare. "We can pass it now," Rahm Emanuel is supposed to have said as he ate his lunch, a bucket of raw rat's tails.

The White House is calling Massa's contention "ridiculous," which of course is code for "Man the barricades! They've got a good one! utterly true.

I guess the moral is that if you're enough of a Progressive you can be a Prongressive too and get away with it.

Tonight, Tuesday, on Glenn Beck.

How dare they question the Goracle, our spiritual leader!





Gore still hot on his doomsday rhetoric

By Jeff Jacoby


Globe Columnist
/
March 3, 2010



THE CASE for global-warming alarmism is melting faster than those mythical disappearing Himalayan glaciers, but Al Gore isn’t backing down.

In a long op-ed piece for The New York Times the other day, Gore cranked up the doomsday rhetoric. Human beings, he warned, “face an unimaginable calamity requiring large-scale, preventive measures to protect human civilization as we know it.’’ His 1,900-word essay made no mention of his financial interest in promoting such measures - Gore has invested heavily in carbon-offset markets, electric vehicles, and other ventures that would profit handsomely from legislation curbing the use of fossil fuels, and is reportedly poised to become the world’s first “carbon billionaire.’’ However, he did mention “global-warming pollution’’ no fewer than four times, declaring that “our grandchildren would one day look back on us as a criminal generation’’ if we don’t move decisively to reduce it.
By “global-warming pollution,’’ Gore means carbon dioxide (CO2), which is a “pollutant’’ in roughly the way oxygen and water are pollutants: Human existence would be impossible without them. CO2 is essential to photosynthesis, the process that sustains plant life and generates the oxygen that human beings and animals inhale. Far from polluting the world, carbon dioxide enriches it. Higher levels of CO2 are associated with larger crop yields, increased forest growth, and longer growing seasons - in short, with a greener planet.

Of course carbon dioxide also contributes to the greenhouse effect that keeps the earth warm. But the vast majority of atmospheric CO2 occurs naturally, and it is far from clear that the carbon dioxide contributed by human industry has a significant impact on the world’s climate.

On the other hand, it is quite clear that the economic and agricultural activity responsible for that anthropogenic CO2 has been enormously beneficial to myriads of men, women, and children. In just the last two decades, life expectancy in developing nations has climbed appreciably and infant mortality has fallen. Hundreds of millions of Indian and Chinese citizens have been lifted out of poverty. Whatever else might be said about carbon dioxide, it has helped make possible a dramatic increase in the quality of many human lives.

But there is no awareness of such tradeoffs in Gore’s latest screed. He brushes aside as unimportant the recently exposed blunders in the 2007 assessment report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. These include claims that Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035, that global warming could slash African crop yields by 50 percent, and that 55 percent of the Netherlands - more than twice the correct amount - is below sea level.

Gore seems equally untroubled by Climategate, the scandal involving researchers at the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit, who apparently schemed to manipulate temperature data, to prevent their critics from being published in peer-reviewed journals, and to destroy records and calculations to keep climate skeptics from double-checking them.

Both the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s errors and the Climatic Research Unit scandal have triggered major investigations, and opinion polls show a falloff in the percentage of the public that believes either global warming is cause for serious concern or that scientists see eye to eye on the issue. Yet Gore insists, against all evidence, that “the overwhelming consensus on global warming remains unchanged.’’

To climate alarmists like Gore, everything proves their point. For years they argued that global warming would mean a decline in snow cover and shorter ski seasons. “Children just aren’t going to know what snow is,’’ one climate scientist lamented to reporters in 2000. The IPCC itself was clear that climate change was resulting in more rain and less snow.

Undaunted, Gore now claims that the blizzards that have walloped the Northeast in recent weeks are also proof of global warming. “Climate change causes more frequent and severe snowstorms,’’ he posted on his blog last month.

Gore is a True Believer; his climate hyperbole is less a matter of science than of faith. In almost messianic terms, he urges Congress to sharply restrain Americans’ access to energy. “What is at stake,’’ he writes, “is our ability to use the rule of law as an instrument of human redemption.’’

But while Gore prays for redemption, the pews in the Church of Climate Catastrophe are gradually emptying. The public’s skeptical common sense, it turns out, is pretty robust. Just like those Himalayan glaciers.

Have you ever wanted to be a strong communist at your school? Wanted to start your own Glorious Fisting Club for Peace and Socialism at your University?  Then Join the STDS.  We are now recruiting strong Communist students around the nation and organizing them into collectives of Communism, socialism, and rampant Fisting!

Our website for Milwaukee is at http://stdsmke.com
Please visit, and recruit for the collective!

Eric Massa: Democrats ousted me over health care.

We always knew it would come to this, didn't we.

Washington, D.C. (AP)- In his most recent speech, President Obama signaled a new direction in his push to achieve his signature legislation, Healthcare reform.

"It's time to bring real change to Amerika, to let go of the old status quo, and start bringing down some real justice for everyday Amerikans!" he said, to thunderous applause. "In order to do that, I need those who've created the current mess to get in line, or get out of the way."

But the real surprise of the speech- he wasn't referring to Republikans.

"Unfortunately, some in my own party aren't willing to do what's necessary to effect real, positive change. We need my healthcare reforms to pass. I know that seems like a rough pill to swallow; but I promise those Democrats in the House, if you pass these reforms, in return I will help lead the party in a new, more moderate direction heading into the November elections."




"Support for Healthcare reform has never been higher. So I promise you all, we will pass this together, and together we will emerge a stronger, better party- and nation- for it."

Greeting from the Gulag!

Dear fellow Progressive.  I have distressful news.  The racist rebels are on the move!  They've begun an online march/tax revolt which will come to fruition on April 15.  These are teabaggers who hate dear Leader and still purport allegiance to the racist and extremely unfair, unjust Amerikan Constitution.  
I have joined this "online march", as a spy, of course, to keep an eye on these subversions for our great and glorious Leader.  But, we need more loyalist to the cause to make sure we have the needed scrutiny on these baggers.  I beg you to join, report and do your c justice for the collective cause!

http://www.onlinetaxrevolt.com/



*You will find me in the Dallas location, under the name Franziska Pulloskies, watching, listening and taking notes on these radical treasonous baggers!  

Your Gulag gal, Fraulein Franziska Dracula Pulloskies

  

Are you an Intellectual?  Can you scoff, point your finger, and look down on the bourgeoisie middle class masses with a sneer on your face?  If the answer is yes, then congratulations, one day, you could become the President of the United States, or a member of his cabinet, or one of his czars.  

Are you able to speak out on subjects about which you know absolutely nothing, with an air of conceit and condescension?  Then you may have the qualifications necessary to become an Intellectual just like Dear Leader.

Nothing is more satisfying to the ego, that to point your finger, with an air of indignation and look down on an all American family.  This is what an Intellectual does.  He scoffs at people who drive SUVs.  He scoffs at people who live in Ranch style homes, in the suburbs, and commute to work every day, leaving their wives at home to care for her own children.  He scoffs at people who dare to question a legislator who demands that everyone be made to pay insurance and face fines, or go to jail for non-compliance.  He scoffs at evil oil companies for producing one drop of pollution.  He scoffs at people who don't recycle, because he is better than they.  He cares more than they, and he is smarter than anyone.

We must all strive to be Intellectuals.  Dear Leader needs as many Intellectuals in his camp as possible.

To read more about the history of Intellectuals and how they came to be, you can read this excerpt out of a book called "Hooking Up" by Tom Wolfe.

Papa Obama administration denies Armenian holocaust or Another campaign promise broken

Good news indeed comrades. As progressives, we all know how handy it is to "lower" the masses expectations of what a genocide is defined as in the body politics.

BBC:
The Obama administration has said it will seek to block a controversial bill describing as genocide the World War I killing of Armenians by Turks.

A congressional panel on Thursday approved the resolution, paving the way for a possible vote by the House.

The resolution - approved by 23 votes to 22 by the committee - calls on President Barack Obama to ensure that US foreign policy reflects an understanding of the "genocide" and to label the killings of Armenians as such.

During his campaign for the 2008 election, Mr Obama promised to brand the mass killings genocide.

Mrs Clinton has acknowledged his administration's change of opinion on the issue, saying circumstances had "changed in very significant ways".
-----------------------------------------------------------



In Memory Of The 50 Million Victims Of The Orthodox Christian Holocaust

"Two years ago, I criticized the Secretary of State for the firing of U.S. Ambassador to Armenia, John Evans, after he properly used the term 'genocide' to describe Turkey's slaughter of thousands of Armenians starting in 1915. … as President I will recognize the Armenian Genocide."

"Barack Obama on the Importance of US-Armenia Relations"



-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Armenian Genocide

Glorious Komrades, the time has come! The House is preparing to vote on the Senate bill. The only problem is some squishy "moderates" have gone wobbly on us, and are threatening to abandon Glorious Lord Barry Obamessiah's Healthcare Equality For All bill.

So I am hereby activating ACORN to get out and Rock the Vote! All ACORN workers here at The Cube are hereby authorized to cast 'yes' votes for recently retired or deceased Representatives... because remember the first rule of Progressivism: the Ends (socialism) justify the Means ("cheating"). Also, don't forget Alinski's "Rules are for RepubliKKKans"... so Vote Early and Often!!!       -Czar Czar

P.S. Any and all Visual Agitations are welcome....
P.S.S..... just found this new and improved ACORN logo... better?

Comrades,

We are in the end game of getting our glorious Obamacare health plan enacted! Now is not the time to let our guard down. The riechwing rethuglikkans desperation to try to derail our final victory before passage will become even more desperate!

You all remember this failed attempt by those neo-con neanderthals to try and discredit our Glorious Leader during his speech to the  Party's Congress a few months back, promoting the wonderfulness of his genius plan.




EXPECT MORE ATTEMPTS LIKE THIS ONE TO INCREASE AND REPORT ANY SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR LOCAL COMMISSAR.

Ok

The Cube does not want me to embed a flash game.

So here is the link:
http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/S6QjF1ht9GVO_bamsteroids

Comrades,

Our Greek brothers and sisters have successfuly defeated the vile forces depicted in this glorious illustration of the true nature of the capitalist pig system.  I was reading the latest truth regarding the Greek ascension into Next Tuesday when I came across this story and quote from the president of the triumphant Greek teachers union:

“The measures are grossly unfair,” Dimitris Bratis, the president of the Greek teaching federation, which will strike for 24 hours tomorrow, told NET TV today. “We’re being asked to pay for the crisis. Greek taxpayers are being asked to foot the bill again.”

The full artikle can be found here.

It struck me that he has not been properly educated in the Pyramid of Socialist System otherwise known as the Shit Sandwich of Socialism as illustrated;




I had to reread that guy's quote several times to make sure I was understanding it correctly.  Did it make your head spin?  That wasa quote that causes one to realize that people really do live in alternate realities.  Maybe something was lost in translation; if not his understanding of the world is why Greece is about to go down in flames.

Since we have some new comrades here, I thought that I would educate all our new ones to the pleasures of Jiffy-Lobo. Here's where it was created.