Something to remember during this Global-Climate-Change-induced blizzard:



It seems that even those capitalists at Audi could be eligible candidates for Re-Education™.

I would like to nominate this commercial for a Common Good Award™ for raising Environmental Awareness™!

Comrades, do you like to criticize others?  Are you smarter than everyone else but is the world too dense and dimwitted to recognize your true genius?  Do you have an Ivy League degree in AGW theory, womyn's studies or some other politically-correct useless field?  Then maybe you should see if you have what it takes to



Yes, as a big-time political pundit (or BTPP as they are known in the trade) you'll attend smart cocktail parties and socialize with others as snobbish and out-of-touch as you are.  You'll have the ear of hack politicians of all stripes who are looking to use you as much as you want to use them.  You'll get to insult people you don't like and denigrate ideas with which you disagree using ten-dollar words to express ten-cent thoughts.  Best of all, you'll have the respect that comes with your banal ramblings appearing in seldom-read moribund publications that self-styled "intelligent" people think are important so they carry them around in their briefcases and display them on their coffee tables.  As a bonus, if you don't look like a squashed frog (or in some cases, even if you do) you could make the transition to TV and appear on cable news shout fests, funereal Sunday public affairs programs or even something on PBS!  You will be held in high regard as an expert in things you know nothing about even though you never accomplished anything real in your life and generally don't know sh*t about toilets!

Sound interesting?  Then read on....

The Famous Pundits Home Study Course can teach YOU to use glib pronouncements, circular logic, catch phrases and principles of group think in order to wax eloquent on topics which are otherwise opaque to you.  Our faculty is composed of some of the most popular, widely-read and respected pundits in the country, such as:

	Napoleon Kurgman - featured columnist at the New York Lies, Kurgman has won as many Nobel Prizes as Barack Obama.  Kurgman has never met a budget deficit he didn't like, unless it was generated under a Republican Administration, of course!
	David Gurgen - Mister Conventional Wisdom, David brings a thoughtful, nuanced approach to policy issues, carefully analyzing all sides of an argument before coming down on the liberal side.  Political junkies will no doubt remember how David stole the show as emcee in the recent Brown-Coakley Massachusetts Senate debate.
	EJ Dijon-Mustard - A nationally-syndicated columnist whose work appears in many of Amerikka's finest fading daily fishwraps as well as being the author of many unread bargain bin & clearance sale tomes.

What about you?  You don't have to be a hyper-educated feckless pseudo-intellectual in order to join the ranks of the nation's elite political pontificators (although that sure helps.)  Many of the country's best loved commentators were discovered writing speeches for inarticulate politicians or press-releases for PR firms trying to explain away a celebrity scandal.  All it takes is a total lack of imagination, a dedication to pursue your agenda in spite of the facts and an ability to turn a hackneyed phrase....  Oh, and a definite left-to-far-left political philosophy which you yak about until everyone's ears start to bleed.

Do you have what it takes?  Take the simple test below and send it in along with a check for $25,000 (tuition for lesson 1) to the Famous Pundits Home Study Course,
c/o Democrat-Media Complex Inc, 55 K Street, Washington, DC.

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Instructions: Fill in the blanks with the words that you think best fit in the following lines from some of professional punditry's best work over the past few years:

1.  “I remember distinctly an image of – we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased ____ and I’m thinking, a) he’s going to be president and b) he’ll be a very good president.”

2.  "One-party autocracy certainly has its drawbacks. But when it is led by a reasonably enlightened group of ______, as China is today, it can also have great advantages."

3.  "What, exactly, are the protesters protesting? The marginal tax _____ rising 3% for millionaires?"

4.  "But I could not hold back my admiration at the performance, in particular of Mr. Obama’s deep humanity, as evinced by his profound, almost Lincolnesque humor.  Oh dear, are _____ streaming down my face, one way or the other?"

5.  "I would like to say we're at a point where global warming is impossible to deny. Let's just say that global warming deniers are now on a par with Holocaust deniers, though one denies the past and the other denies the _____ and future."

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Testimonials from some of our former students:

I was just a mentally deranged sportscaster until I took this course.  Now I'm a widely-followed important news commentator!
- Keith Olbermun

I was a grumpy old fart nobody listened to and then I discovered the Famous Pundits Course.  Now, I'm a grumpy old well-paid fart nobody listens to!
- Andy Looney

I'm what passes for HUMOR on NPR, thanks to this course!
- Garrison Keeledover

Engagement works!  I hope this silences the small (tiny, actually) but vocal group of doubters in Obama's plan to engage our enemies in dialog.  As they've said all along, if we would only talk to the terrorists, they would listen and renounce terrorism.
Axis of Evil?  No, Axis of misunderstood, benevolent dictators.
Iran to U.N.: We Will Increase Uranium Enrichment  
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,585064,00.html

My dearest Comrades!

I have glorious news from our Brazilian Comrades: They have successfully cloned Your Dear Leader! Now term limits are simply not a problem anymore, every 8 years you can elect a new clone!

Here are the first two canditates for for 2016 and 2024! They are called TweedleBam and TweedleBee.



Update
Kommissar 7.62 just sent me this photograph from the Washington Slimes of January 20, 2025: View of the Reflective Pool during the inauguration of TweedleBee. (Lord Barack the Third)

Researchers prove once again: We are guilty of misappropriating the education resources.

http://www.scpr.org/news/2010/02/04/ucla-charter-study/

Comrades, rejoice! Our leading institutions are proclaiming an equal opportunity for mediocrity for all young citizens! No more classes for gifted children! No more Magnet schools! Equal amount of information and knowledge for everyone.



The redistribution of wealth starts with the redistribution of knowledge.

To my great dismay I have discovered that KKKapitalist reactionary YouTube has suspended Songunblog's YouTube account and all his videos are unavailable! THIS CANNOT STAND! People must be shot! Where now can the people of the world learn about the Happiness in DPRK? The contrast of KKKapitalist AmeriKKKa to Socialist Korea? Dear Leaders greatest achievements and invention? To see the smiling girls of DPRK dancing and singing amongst the trees with sunshine pouring over them? People will never know what glory await them with the Juche.

Dear great Songun Blog, the voice of the Peoples Paradise of North Korea, why has this transgression happen? With the tenacity reminiscent of our Great Leader, rise against your oppressors! Be victorious! and let the world once again witness the brilliance of the Glorious DPRK!


                                     

Comrades,

A horrible crime is about to be committed by the people of Indonesia against The One: They plan to tear down a statue commemorating "little Barry" and his childhood there and replace it with "a memorial to an Indonesian identity."



What is wrong with them?

He is The World
We are His children

I mean, the song's being recorded a second time for Lenin's sake! Why don't the Indonesians get it?

Comrades, as part of our weekly re-education, cultural enrichment and diversity program, all residents of GULAG and Camp FEMA are ordered to watch this epic stage production, which depicts the greatness of our fearless leader and his thorns-laden road to victory.
Please be prepared to take notes, as there is going to be a short essay assignment to describe the cardinal differences between the two main characters, and your opinion on why our ever-wise leader had prevailed in this battle.

To complete our weekend, and to energize ourselves for another week of enthusiastic shoveling we will collectively sing The International Hymn. Although, the Politburo recommends for the masses to sing it in Russian and French, we also provided our comrades with an English version.
Comrades caught lip-sinching will be severely punished by reducing their daily ration of beets and extra 2 hours of daily shoveling with a dull shovel, until the Hymn is memorized.

I was forced commissioned by the Obama's NEA to paint the coming White House Superbowl party. See larger view and guest list.

This man is a glorious visionary.  I predict his [gag] business will be brought to the US and be very successful.  It is merely a means to an end, Comrades - don't get excited.  We use the tools of capitalism to destroy it.

Rent-a-Crowd Entrepreneurs Find People Fast to Cheer or Jeer for $4 an Hour
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703575004575043174183721124.html?mod=rss_Page_One

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=123758

Nancy Pelosi has just announced a new amendment to the proposed Health Care bill introduced for the sake of Cultural Sensitivity to the Islamic-American voters.  

"According to the new amendment to the bill, the Federal Government will have to pay for plastic explosive breast implants for Muslim ladies," Pelosi explained at a news conference. "There was an outcry in the Islamic-American community when it was found that the Healthcare Bill would cover religious circumcisions for the Jewish-American community. And they are right. It simply would not be fair to cover one minority group for cultural surgical procedures and not the other."

The Council on American-Islamic Relations welcomed the announcement but added that Universal Healthcare should include Genital Mutilation procedures for girls also. Ms Pelosi said she would mention it to her committee.



Ms Pelosi showing off her new implants in solidarity with the Islamic-American Community

The next Obama's Monopoly edition will feature the SSI checks, Food Stamps card and social services credits. Insteadof acquiring property the players will be competing for enrollment intorent control housing and ability to maximize on their social securitybenefits. Through out the game the players will be forced to give uptheir entitlement benefits, seek employment and pay for the acquiredgoods. At the end of the game the winner must be able to parent atleast 5 children1, collect all social benefits (program 8housing, monthly SSI checks, food stamps, public transit vouchers,etc.), possess no property, unless stolenexpropriated from the opponent. The player who is able to blame Bushfor their low socio-economic status collects instant 1000 points.

The next Obama's Monopoly edition will feature the SSI checks, Food Stamps card and social services credits.

Comrades:

This afternoon following the swearing in of The Junior Senator^TM from the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts, CNN posted video of Congressional correspondent Dana Bash asking Senator Brown the trademark, deep, deep question: "How do you FEEL" about "a) the pretty nice digs you're gonna have there" in Senator I'm not wearing any pants Kennedy's office, considering that you are "theeeeee most junior Senator" and "b) the symbolism of being in Senator Kennedy's office".

However, they did not post the video taken as Senator Brown entered his office for the first time.  The "digs" are so spacious, he was directed by the remnants of Kennedy's office staff who were still supervising residual activities to the area behind the curtain.  The CNN video archive has been infiltrated and only members of the Collective are able to see for the first time Senator Brown entering his office.