Karl Marx Treatment Center
            Shop At The People's Cube Store
Karl Marx Treatment Center
The People's Cube
 
       Karl Marx Treatment Center - an outpatient Gulag program
MOTHER PAGE CURRENT TRUTH PEOPLE'S BLOG GROUPTHINK DRY GOODS   ABOUT   FEEDBACK
  WHAT IS PEOPLE'S CUBE?
You might be guilty of thoughtcrime if...
   
Winner of The Most
Politically Correct Web Site Medal and Award, 2005

DONATE!
KEEP THE CUBE ROLLING!
FRESH FROM THE CUBE
Newsletter


Subscribe voluntarily and we promise that the KGB will not sell your email down the river to other spy agencies



















Winner of
HERO OF CHANGE
Medal and Award, 2008



Awarded "Friend of People"
License and Medallion, 1957



 

SHAMELESS
MATERIALISTIC
BOURGEOIS
PROPAGANDA


buy this T-shirt



buy a T-shirt


SEE LARGER IMAGE

buy this T-shirt



buy this T-shirt



buy a T-shirt



BUY T-SHIRT



buy a T-shirt


buy a T-shirt



buy a T-shirt



buy a T-shirt
 






Get The People's Cube!

CLICK TO ZOOM

Re-educate
your friends, family, and co-workers!









 
 




Something to remember during this Global-Climate-Change-induced blizzard:



It seems that even those capitalists at Audi could be eligible candidates for Re-Education™.

I would like to nominate this commercial for a Common Good Award™ for raising Environmental Awareness™!



Comrades, do you like to criticize others?  Are you smarter than everyone else but is the world too dense and dimwitted to recognize your true genius?  Do you have an Ivy League degree in AGW theory, womyn's studies or some other politically-correct useless field?  Then maybe you should see if you have what it takes to

BECOME A BIG-TIME POLITICAL PUNDIT!


Yes, as a big-time political pundit (or BTPP as they are known in the trade) you'll attend smart cocktail parties and socialize with others as snobbish and out-of-touch as you are.  You'll have the ear of hack politicians of all stripes who are looking to use you as much as you want to use them.  You'll get to insult people you don't like and denigrate ideas with which you disagree using ten-dollar words to express ten-cent thoughts.  Best of all, you'll have the respect that comes with your banal ramblings appearing in seldom-read moribund publications that self-styled "intelligent" people think are important so they carry them around in their briefcases and display them on their coffee tables.  As a bonus, if you don't look like a squashed frog (or in some cases, even if you do) you could make the transition to TV and appear on cable news shout fests, funereal Sunday public affairs programs or even something on PBS!  You will be held in high regard as an expert in things you know nothing about even though you never accomplished anything real in your life and generally don't know sh*t about toilets!

Sound interesting?  Then read on....

The Famous Pundits Home Study Course can teach YOU to use glib pronouncements, circular logic, catch phrases and principles of group think in order to wax eloquent on topics which are otherwise opaque to you.  Our faculty is composed of some of the most popular, widely-read and respected pundits in the country, such as:

  

Napoleon Kurgman - featured columnist at the New York Lies, Kurgman has won as many Nobel Prizes as Barack Obama.  Kurgman has never met a budget deficit he didn't like, unless it was generated under a Republican Administration, of course!
  
David Gurgen - Mister Conventional Wisdom, David brings a thoughtful, nuanced approach to policy issues, carefully analyzing all sides of an argument before coming down on the liberal side.  Political junkies will no doubt remember how David stole the show as emcee in the recent Brown-Coakley Massachusetts Senate debate.  
  

EJ Dijon-Mustard - A nationally-syndicated columnist whose work appears in many of Amerikka's finest fading daily fishwraps as well as being the author of many unread bargain bin & clearance sale tomes.


What about you?  You don't have to be a hyper-educated feckless pseudo-intellectual in order to join the ranks of the nation's elite political pontificators (although that sure helps.)  Many of the country's best loved commentators were discovered writing speeches for inarticulate politicians or press-releases for PR firms trying to explain away a celebrity scandal.  All it takes is a total lack of imagination, a dedication to pursue your agenda in spite of the facts and an ability to turn a hackneyed phrase....  Oh, and a definite left-to-far-left political philosophy which you yak about until everyone's ears start to bleed.

Do you have what it takes?  Take the simple test below and send it in along with a check for $25,000 (tuition for lesson 1) to the Famous Pundits Home Study Course,
c/o Democrat-Media Complex Inc, 55 K Street, Washington, DC.

---------------------------------------- clip test here ----------------------------------------

Instructions: Fill in the blanks with the words that you think best fit in the following lines from some of professional punditry's best work over the past few years:

1.  “I remember distinctly an image of – we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased ____ and I’m thinking, a) he’s going to be president and b) he’ll be a very good president.”

2.  "One-party autocracy certainly has its drawbacks. But when it is led by a reasonably enlightened group of ______, as China is today, it can also have great advantages."

3.  "What, exactly, are the protesters protesting? The marginal tax _____ rising 3% for millionaires?"

4.  "But I could not hold back my admiration at the performance, in particular of Mr. Obama’s deep humanity, as evinced by his profound, almost Lincolnesque humor.  Oh dear, are _____ streaming down my face, one way or the other?"

5.  "I would like to say we're at a point where global warming is impossible to deny. Let's just say that global warming deniers are now on a par with Holocaust deniers, though one denies the past and the other denies the _____ and future."

---------------------------------------- clip test here ----------------------------------------

Testimonials from some of our former students:

I was just a mentally deranged sportscaster until I took this course.  Now I'm a widely-followed important news commentator!
- Keith Olbermun

I was a grumpy old fart nobody listened to and then I discovered the Famous Pundits Course.  Now, I'm a grumpy old well-paid fart nobody listens to!
- Andy Looney

I'm what passes for HUMOR on NPR, thanks to this course!
- Garrison Keeledover


Engagement works!  I hope this silences the small (tiny, actually) but vocal group of doubters in Obama's plan to engage our enemies in dialog.  As they've said all along, if we would only talk to the terrorists, they would listen and renounce terrorism.
Axis of Evil?  No, Axis of misunderstood, benevolent dictators.
Iran to U.N.: We Will Increase Uranium Enrichment  
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,585064,00.html


My dearest Comrades!

I have glorious news from our Brazilian Comrades: They have successfully cloned Your Dear Leader! Now term limits are simply not a problem anymore, every 8 years you can elect a new clone!

Here are the first two canditates for for 2016 and 2024! They are called TweedleBam and TweedleBee.



Update
Kommissar 7.62 just sent me this photograph from the Washington Slimes of January 20, 2025: View of the Reflective Pool during the inauguration of TweedleBee. (Lord Barack the Third)



Researchers prove once again: We are guilty of misappropriating the education resources.

http://www.scpr.org/news/2010/02/04/ucla-charter-study/

Comrades, rejoice! Our leading institutions are proclaiming an equal opportunity for mediocrity for all young citizens! No more classes for gifted children! No more Magnet schools! Equal amount of information and knowledge for everyone.



The redistribution of wealth starts with the redistribution of knowledge.



To my great dismay I have discovered that KKKapitalist reactionary YouTube has suspended Songunblog's YouTube account and all his videos are unavailable! THIS CANNOT STAND! People must be shot! Where now can the people of the world learn about the Happiness in DPRK? The contrast of KKKapitalist AmeriKKKa to Socialist Korea? Dear Leaders greatest achievements and invention? To see the smiling girls of DPRK dancing and singing amongst the trees with sunshine pouring over them? People will never know what glory await them with the Juche.

Dear great Songun Blog, the voice of the Peoples Paradise of North Korea, why has this transgression happen? With the tenacity reminiscent of our Great Leader, rise against your oppressors! Be victorious! and let the world once again witness the brilliance of the Glorious DPRK!


                                     

Just Say No!

2/6/2010, 2:04 am

Comrades,

A horrible crime is about to be committed by the people of Indonesia against The One: They plan to tear down a statue commemorating "little Barry" and his childhood there and replace it with "a memorial to an Indonesian identity."



What is wrong with them?

He is The World
We are His children

I mean, the song's being recorded a second time for Lenin's sake! Why don't the Indonesians get it?
(18) Comments | FULL TEXT>>




Comrades, as part of our weekly re-education, cultural enrichment and diversity program, all residents of GULAG and Camp FEMA are ordered to watch this epic stage production, which depicts the greatness of our fearless leader and his thorns-laden road to victory.
Please be prepared to take notes, as there is going to be a short essay assignment to describe the cardinal differences between the two main characters, and your opinion on why our ever-wise leader had prevailed in this battle.

To complete our weekend, and to energize ourselves for another week of enthusiastic shoveling we will collectively sing The International Hymn. Although, the Politburo recommends for the masses to sing it in Russian and French, we also provided our comrades with an English version.
Comrades caught lip-sinching will be severely punished by reducing their daily ration of beets and extra 2 hours of daily shoveling with a dull shovel, until the Hymn is memorized.




We have just uncovered proof of new crimes committed by the war-criminal George W. Bush.

In 2003, the evil President Bush forced our nation into a war in Iraq by claiming that Saddam Hussein had "Weapons of Mass Destruction" which he was planning on using against the rest of the world. Of course, there never were any WMDs, as we soon found out. It was just an excuse for Bush and Cheney to kill innocent people for oil and money and also probably to drink the blood of Iraqi children.

                              
Cheney beating poor little                                  Saddam was merely a scapegoat for Bush
helpless Saddam Hussein.                                 and Cheney


Now, in what appears to be an elaborate hoax just like 9/11 was, Bush has been burying missiles in Iraq attempting to alter history and exonerate himself for causing the most evil war ever. One such "WMD" has just been uncovered in Baghdad:

                              
                                     Closer inspection reveals disguised Bush
                                      present at scene of "WMD" discovery.

Experts like Keith Olbermann agree that this missile find will probably be the first of many; we have only begun to uncover the elaborate hoax that Bush has masterminded. Up until now, Bush's disappearance from the public eye was puzzling and suspicious. No one has really known what this bloodthirsty criminal has been plotting. However, this discovery has revealed that he and Cheney have likely been burying hundreds of these fake WMDs all over Iraq since President Obama bravely took power away from them and rescued our nation.

The following is an artist's rendition of how one such crime scene may have looked:

Bush likely buried this puppy alive with the missile.



(13) Comments | FULL TEXT>>




I was forced commissioned by the Obama's NEA to paint the coming White House Superbowl party. See larger view and guest list.
(35) Comments | FULL TEXT>>

Rent-a-crowd

2/5/2010, 8:36 am

This man is a glorious visionary.  I predict his [gag] business will be brought to the US and be very successful.  It is merely a means to an end, Comrades - don't get excited.  We use the tools of capitalism to destroy it.

Rent-a-Crowd Entrepreneurs Find People Fast to Cheer or Jeer for $4 an Hour
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703575004575043174183721124.html?mod=rss_Page_One


http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=123758

Nancy Pelosi has just announced a new amendment to the proposed Health Care bill introduced for the sake of Cultural Sensitivity to the Islamic-American voters.  

"According to the new amendment to the bill, the Federal Government will have to pay for plastic explosive breast implants for Muslim ladies," Pelosi explained at a news conference. "There was an outcry in the Islamic-American community when it was found that the Healthcare Bill would cover religious circumcisions for the Jewish-American community. And they are right. It simply would not be fair to cover one minority group for cultural surgical procedures and not the other."

The Council on American-Islamic Relations welcomed the announcement but added that Universal Healthcare should include Genital Mutilation procedures for girls also. Ms Pelosi said she would mention it to her committee.



Ms Pelosi showing off her new implants in solidarity with the Islamic-American Community


The next Obama's Monopoly edition will feature the SSI checks, Food Stamps card and social services credits.

Insteadof acquiring property the players will be competing for enrollment intorent control housing and ability to maximize on their social securitybenefits. Through out the game the players will be forced to give uptheir entitlement benefits, seek employment and pay for the acquiredgoods. At the end of the game the winner must be able to parent atleast 5 children1, collect all social benefits (program 8housing, monthly SSI checks, food stamps, public transit vouchers,etc.), possess no property, unless stolenexpropriated from the opponent. The player who is able to blame Bushfor their low socio-economic status collects instant 1000 points.

The next Obama's Monopoly edition will feature the SSI checks, Food Stamps card and social services credits.
(15) Comments | FULL TEXT>>


Comrades:

This afternoon following the swearing in of The Junior SenatorTM from the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts, CNN posted video of Congressional correspondent Dana Bash asking Senator Brown the trademark, deep, deep question: "How do you FEEL" about "a) the pretty nice digs you're gonna have there" in Senator I'm not wearing any pants Kennedy's office, considering that you are "theeeeee most junior Senator" and "b) the symbolism of being in Senator Kennedy's office".

However, they did not post the video taken as Senator Brown entered his office for the first time.  The "digs" are so spacious, he was directed by the remnants of Kennedy's office staff who were still supervising residual activities to the area behind the curtain.  The CNN video archive has been infiltrated and only members of the Collective are able to see for the first time Senator Brown entering his office.



Yes, komrades, Mr. Reid is really a people's person. He listens to what common folks want and responds promptly and favorably, just like Leonid Illich' Brezhnev did.

We wanted a smaller government? Well, we can finally take a deep breath(not too deep, observe your daily CO2 quota), and relax.


Mr.Reid has stepped in and figured it out for us: the illiterate mob.  


He'll intermittently omit parts of the legislative bodies, that interfere with the social progressive reforms....
(14) Comments | FULL TEXT>>


.....And let us not forget The Marine Corpse, The Army Signal Corpse, The Army Corpse of Engineers, and those great flyers before the inception of the USAF, The Army Air Corpse.




{progoofoffovich}

Dear God,

Please save us from this idiot. We knew he was a dork but we had no idea he was this fucking stupid. Yes, you gave us signs but none as vivid as this. We beseech thee.

Amen



(28) Comments | FULL TEXT>>


Rahm Emmanuel Retarded Comment Draws Harsh Criticism
http://www.khabrein.info/news/Rahm_Emanuel_retarded_comment_draws_harsh_criticism_1265279446/


Rahm Apologizes For Privately Calling Liberal Activists Retarded
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2010/02/rahm-apologizes-for-privately-calling-liberal-activists-retarded.html


Emmanuel Meets With Shriver After F-ing Retarded Comment
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/02/03/emanuel-meets-shriver-f-ing-retard-comment/


Rahm's Apology Accepted, At Last
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0210/Special_Olympics_Apology_not_accepted.html





I haven't done a good ProgOn lately, but that's because I suck at life.  This week's ProgOff is important not for the content, but rather for the social and political implications contained within.  At a strategy session a few months ago, Rahm Immanuel called a Democratic Party plan to launch attack ads targeting conservative Democrats for not supporting President Obama's health care plan "f-ing retarded."  This netted criticism from across the political spectrum, but most notably from Sarah Palin.  After what could only be called a media show trial, Immanuel called Tim Shriver, the head of the Special Olympics, to issue an apology.  Leaders of several disability groups, including Shriver, later met with Immanuel to discuss the importance of good language.  For me, this raised several questions detailed below.
(15) Comments | FULL TEXT>>


Any Comrade familiar with the decadent, yet socialist themed TV show Star Trek (The Original Series) may remember this episode.

Further research by the Observation Bureau of the Office of The Department of The Commissar of Time has revealed the startling truth about Michelle Obama.



It is not much of a stretch to presume that our Dear First Lady is in fact an illusory, shapeshifting creature that feeds on salt, and will suck it out of any living body.  



A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and it was simply too epic not to share with the Glorious Collective!
(22) Comments | FULL TEXT>>



    Global Warming's "Motley CRU"

Dear Comrades:

AGW has again come under fire! We are are in grave danger of truly losing this very valuable agitprop tool. It seems that someone in the Party allowed NASA to turn in their data that we hadn't destroyed yet.  Needless to say the "raw' data had many what the "untutored in climate science" minds would call "glaring discrepencies." Comrade and super-patriot James Hansen is dangerously close of being thrown out of the band. Not to mention that Penn State is calling for further investigations into Michael Mann's research.

All upper Party members are hereby being informed of the current "Threat to Progressives Level" which Obama himself has placed as "Hysterical." Please see chart below. Everyone is now to report to their nearest Community Organizer Office to start the pre-planned distractions as outlined in your Party Handbook.

If things continue to get worse our very own Motley CRU won't even be able to play at a "We are the World" benfit for Haiti!!



My pick for best picture.


Nonexistent Congressional District 9 is a dark comedy about an incompetent liberal progressive government that claims to have funneled $6.4 billion in stimulus money to 440 congressional districts, which creates or saves 30,000 jobs. Hi-jinks ensue when it is discovered that the districts don't exist.

Its a great movie although the concept is difficult to believe, America would never elect such idiots.




Powered by phpBB Blog.




   
 
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand



 
15.gif
Deniers drop tons of foot powder on Washington to emulate snow blizzard during hottest Global Warming winter on record

Radical anti- American leader blames US for Global Warming


O's first year in office: 2 million jobs saved, 76 major natural disasters prevented
O's SOTU changes meaning of "cultivate" to "cultiveight": build up a perception that the current woes are the result of the previous eight years


Dead-Americans claim voter fraud in Massachusetts: cemeteries denied access to polling places, Senator Kennedy demands recount
Defeated in Mass elections, Obama warns against getting a ride from anyone in Kennedy's seat
Mayor Nagin sends 200 school buses to Haiti; Gov. Blanco appointed to oversee construction of Superdome
Closer inspection of Kennedy Seat revealed it's an old car seat with water damage

Unusually cold winter causes liberals to keep hands in OWN pockets
Obama's DHS: Detroit attack 'wardrobe malfunction'
Air Force deploys eavesdropping spy plane codenamed 'Jewish mother'
Seven more women claim to have had lip exchanges with St. Nick underneath mistletoe
Mrs. Claus found standing over bleeding hubby next to wrecked sleigh, holding nutcracker
North Pole shuts down as elves unionize, demand warmer work environment
Time editors still undecided who to select as 'Barack of the Year' in 2009

Obama revolutionizes war: 'leaving' is the new 'victory'
ACORN to change name to CHESTNUT; meaning of new acronym still being debated

Obama's new autobiography tentatively titled Going Rouge
Antartica's Ross Island Detainment Center (RID-C) receives first batch of climate-change skeptics
Obama saves big on high cost of turkey for the troops by delaying Afghan surge until after Thanksgiving
Retailers begin annual cash- in on Christian holiday they refuse to mention by name

Christmas & Healthcare Reform season classic:
It's a Wonderful Death!
NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
Pelosi: we won.
Philies: so did we
Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties








Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats

Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!


Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'


Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists

Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom

Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled

Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long

Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!

Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off

buy this sticker

Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw

Gotham villains working for the Common Good™

White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union Label
National-socialist health care?

Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit

Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar

buy a T-shirt

Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from
George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
SPONSORED BY:

Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional

Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy

Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities

Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list

Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind

visit our new Che Heart store

Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
buy this sticker

Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!

Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden

Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'

DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry

Dow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents use

DHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"

Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a
2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"
Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism

Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism
Obama gives Queen a shovel




click here

NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'

click here for the story

Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans'
After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape
Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh
Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside
Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend

Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube


CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY


Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes"
Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest
Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it


view larger

Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice
Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing


Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge
Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans
Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge
No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'

More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20

Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America

You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.


Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
Somali pirates hijack international space station

Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"


CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide





Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth



US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force

Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!

Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'

Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'

Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter

Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes

Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached




Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


buy a T-shirt

How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?

Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint


Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama

Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station




Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination

Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead

Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

buy T-shirt

Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator



North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!

Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich

Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies

Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy

Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"


Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama

NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars

Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change

Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win

Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class

Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others

Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home

Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?

San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"

Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"

Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming


To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"

Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face

Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead

William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package

Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos


Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability

London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"

Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

click me

Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!

Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"

Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant

Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture

Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely

Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time

Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases

Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly

New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system

Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial

House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission

North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission

Is it time for Pinochet yet?

see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

Our Comrades:

Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
Dicklist
WHYGRR
Bush Is Hitler
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Antiprotester
Cox and Forkum
The Ministry of Truth
Scrappleface
Zombietime
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
Fit-To-Print News
Conservative Punk
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
I Own The World
Maksim Maksimovich
Red Planet Cartoons
Miss Kitty
Bunny News Network