The Party disciplines agent for wardrobe malfunction: Tim Vincent to dig trenches in the tundra
According to Laika the Space Dog, The Berlin Wall fell in 1989 - but the Soviet Union NEVER FELL! We are in camouflage. Shhh! Regrettably, some of our overly zealous comrades are breaking the camouflage rules and leaking the truth out. Thus, Access Hollywood's New York correspondent, Tim Vincent, a veteran of the BBC, has repeatedly sported a hammer and sickle T-shirt as he introduced a story (see video).
Like Che and Fidel, we have melted away in the jungles of America to continue the revolution. Like Lenin and Stalin, we have penetrated the tundra, the taiga, and the steppes of the American Motherland, regrouping for the '08 election. We keep our Red Star Radio receivers handy, awaiting the transmission from Laika to instruct us about the Party-approved course of action.
Comrade Vincent may claim the "useful idiot" defense, saying that he did it out of the devotion for The People's Cube, his single source of correct opinions - or claim "wardrobe malfunction," saying that his button accidentally went missing. Whatever it is, his actions have harmed the revolution in five ways:
The Politburo has therefore decided that Comrade Tim Vincent must be disciplined with an iron fist of the revolutionary justice. He shall be sentenced to a year of daily self-criticism sessions involving a shovel. We trust he keeps his shovel well-oiled, sharpened, and properly holstered in accordance with the Party operating manual.
Our surveillance video tells us, however, that he keeps his proletarian shovel not on the wall next to the portrait of Stalin where it belongs - but behind the dresser in which he keeps his Red Army shirts.
Let’s be more careful before making hurtful remarks, shall we?
LET HIS BOY BANDISH FACE BLISTER UNDER THE THE PENETRATING (dont snicker) POWER OF THE PEOPLES REVOLUTIONARY WILL!!