| Reinforcing his image of an exceptional orator and a formidable debater, Barack Obama used the controversy surrounding his pastor's provocative sermons to deliver a major speech aimed at uniting Americans regardless of racial, religious, or sexual identity, and bringing them all together for the common cause of fighting capitalism, private property, individualism, self-sufficiency, and other harmful prejudices that stand in the way of change and hope for a better and monolithic America. |
"Everything I know about the failings of this country's domestic and foreign policies I have learned from my spiritual mentor Jeremiah Wright, who convinced me of the need for change and gave me the audacity of hope," continued the presidential hopeful, who had been conceived by a Kenyan father and raised by his mother's family of typical European persons. "Everything I know about my identity and where it stands in the general scheme of skins - uh, scheme of things - I have learned from my pastor. "Everything I know about Christianity I learned from him. He told me how the world started: in the beginning was class struggle. Then the Whites conspired to oppress the Blacks. He taught me a lot of other things about the Bible. Thanks to him I became a typical Christian and a typical Wright person.
"He led me to the Word of God with an inspiring story of a homeless African-American urban activist named Jesus Christ, who advocated for higher taxes, reparations, and government redistribution of earthly belongings. Like many inner-city Blacks, he was born in the slums to a teenage mother and had never seen his real father. Despite being oppressed and discriminated against, Christ was helping the poor by demanding government handouts. But the White-supremacist government only gave them crack cocaine and infected them with the AIDS virus, which had been invented specifically for that purpose. As Christ was tending to the AIDS victims he himself became infected through needle sharing. Then he tried to find his father, but was constantly subjected to racial profiling, and then was arrested, tortured, and crucified.
"Now, having attended some of the best White schools in America I haven't seen such racism personally - but I know this to be a typical fate of many young Black males in this country because Reverend Wright says so. It truly is the greatest story ever told, and any church that has a different take on it, is divisive and racist. This is where my plan for change comes in. We will only heal as a nation when all our churches begin to teach Jeremiah Wright's version, which is the only true Bible.
The following churches have endorsed Barack Obama's candidacy:
![]() |
"I have been attending his sermons for the last 20 years along with my wife and my two daughters whom I love dearly, and every time we learn something new - about the Tower of Babel and the controlled demolition theory, the bilingual writing on the wall, Jonah who saved the whale, Noah who built an ark to survive Global Warming, or a government program that fed the multitudes with five whole grain loaves and two non-endangered fishes. Who knew Christianity could be so up-to-date and instructive?
"Take the story about the typical Jewish person named Moses and his crusading band of Zionist aggressors who ambushed the disenfranchised Egyptian freedom fighters in what became known as the 'Red Sea Massacre.' I know that Israel is our close ally and all that, but every friendship has its limits - and my patience with the Jews is running thin. One more strike against the Palestinians and I'm going to disown them.
"I may disagree with some of Rev. Wright's extreme statements, but you can no more judge this great man by a few soundbites than you can say that the milk is rancid after only a few sips. Obviously you have to drink the entire carton before you can make a judgment whether it's rancid or not. That's why I urge you to listen to the entire DVD of Jeremiah Wright's sermons before passing judgment about his underlying philosophy.
"Would you throw away old egg salad just because its foul smell may disturb someone? I wouldn't," Obama concluded to continuous cheers and ovations from his supporters. "I would simply change the expiration date on the packaging with a marker and feed it to my two adorable daughters whom I love dearly. Whether they like it or not, we can always discuss it later - in a friendly and thoughtful conversation at home or on the way to the community hospital, whatever the case may be."
After the speech the inspired audience was treated to a pile of rancid egg salad sandwiches and cartons of curdled milk with expiration dates ranging from 1964 to 1968, which they eagerly consumed without questioning their taste or smell, because who are they to judge the content of anything before they have consumed it in its entirety?

Red Square
but you can no more judge this great man by a few soundbites than you can say that the milk is rancid after only a few sips. Obviously you have to drink the entire carton before you can make a judgment whether it's rancid or not.Commissarka Pinkie
But the true test of my faith will be watching all of Battlefield Earth from start to finish, before I can truly say whether it's John Travolta's worst movie ever.Premier Betty
All the more reason to go for Battlefield 2142.
WhoLeo
I am ashamed that my parents had the audacity to bring me forth unto this depraved and evil world. Why oh why didn't they abort me before my miserable existence created irreversible harm to our great planet? Why am I cursed to have been born to an evil American Warrior who participated in the last great Patriotic War and an American Socialist Employee who only wanted to raise their mediocre offspring and give them a moral upbringing? Am I doomed to living my moribund life forever searching for acceptance by the oppressed minorities within my own country? Are there any training grounds besides the Government created Ghettos that I may go to for Re-education to correct my evil thoughts that all men and women are entitled to the fruits of their labors and merit the rewards they have reaped through the energy they have expended through legal and lawful labor? Please show me the line where I can get all I need or want for free and the bill is paid by other oppressive Masters. I will struggle through my own edjewmacation and hope the money doesn't run out till I am through spending everyone elses share. Thank you Mr. Bar.H.O. Now please shut up and sit down like a good little first term neophyte Senator should. Long lie Billary Obama. The chosen Two!filthywhitemaleheteropig
I think my name says it all.Premier Betty
BF 2142 is just a futuristic and prettier version of BF2. I gots BF2 and it is good.Premier Betty
BF 2142 is just a futuristic and prettier version of BF2. I gots BF2 and it is good.Premier Betty
You are not exempt because you are a filthy kkkapitalist who profits off of the losses of those you extort.LoneRedStar
Well battlefield 1942/desert combat/pirates aint too bad eitherrightwingmac
Bah!Comrade Hasan
The book of Obama (Obile)Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Here is my favorite opinion on the typical white person.

| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
Barack Obama's Choice For Veep Is Barack Obama | BigFurHat | 30 | 20474 | |
Barack Obama: Dr. Donothing | Red Square | 10 | 12007 | |
Barack Obama: the Second Lady of the United States | Red Square | 38 | 10645 | |
Barack Obama Tweets: The People's Broadcast | TheFineReport.com | 33 | 4010 | |
Maya Angelou: 'Barack Obama has done a remarkable job' | Red Square | 18 | 5932 | |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
I Own The World
Supercommissar Maksim
It's Big Fur Hat
Blur-Brain
Terry Colon
The Fine Report
The Looking Spoon
Sad Hill News
Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Death By 1000 Papercuts
Zombietime