Speaking about free Cadillac-quality medical services from cradle to grave, this baby runs best on ethanol as proven by our Soviet comrades whose extensive research into cheap alcohol-based solutions is well-known. It also shortens the distance between cradle and grave, which saves the government a lot resources. With this in mind we invented a new alternative product that is now quickly replacing Kool-Aid® as preferred mind-altering substance of progressive elites:
Corn ethanol based
(scroll down for a larger image)
(May contain mind-control agents)
A word from the man who invented Global Warming Vodka, former Vice President Al Gore:
There isn't a problem in the world that can't be solved by alternative fuels. Example. Students of Progress™ know that all problems come from capitalism. Capitalism is fueled by selfishness. Therefore, if we find an alternative fuel to selfishness, we can fix all problems. I have invented such alternative fuel - and it's self-sacrifice. But since most people may agree to self-sacrifice only occasionally - instead of the required 24/7 all year round - they'll always be looking for ways to slack off. A World Socialist Government must be established to catch those slackers and sacrifice them for the Common Good™. International research has shown that self-sacrifice and compassion work best when they are mandated and enforced by the government, in combination with planned economy and a strict but fair rule by a beloved supreme leader. Thus the most humane government is that which enforces a total and far-reaching human sacrifice.
So here's your alternative fuel to capitalist greed and selfishness. Problem solved.
Chairman M. S. PunchenkoI'm getting hooked on Windows Movie Maker myself and was tinkering with a Hillary video UNTIL MY DELL WENT UP!! Errr.... I sent it off for repairs and hopefully it will return safely back to me so that I may resume.
Sister Massively Opiatedbut what do you want from a dolphin?
SMO, who doubts the teachings of Appliantology,Umm... went up where exactly?
RedThis will be the first movie ever made by a dolphin. It's history in the making. Let me know if you want help with images.
Sister Massively Opiated... I sure am taken by that Polar Bear and his friend picture though... it just makes me smile for some reason... I think it would make a good kid's Cube t-shirt.
Chairman M. S. PunchenkoMr. and Mrs. Jenkins are the ones stuffed and in the closet (holding each other for all eternity for my own childish amusement). Mr. and Mrs. Johnson is that nice elderly couple that I mowed down with my SUV (which belongs to some woman I met in Palm Beach.... who Voted Democrat mysteriously and also left me her fortune...mysteriously is the keyword here). Ummm.... yes, Dell is pregnant... and... uhhh <looks around nervously> I have to be going now... toodle-loo!
Red SquareAnd I'm sure that to take that picture our environmentalist comrades had to murder three perfectly live innocent animals and stuff them with sawdust in order to be able to set them up against the bucolic Australian meadow.
Sister Massively OpiatedI've got um... the iLife suite... like iMovie HD and iPhoto and Garageband but I've never used any of them... when I launch iMovie, it asks me if I want to start a new project or make a magic movie... I could fiddle with it a bit... but they're all still shots - are you thinking of just cross-faded as stills?... sort of like a slide show?
Zampolit BlokhayevCan I have a part in your glorious People's Revolutionary movie? I think I would look like a dead ringer for Lenin.That's a grand idea too! We can do a sequel to Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" and call it "An Inconvenient Pravda." It will be similar to Al Gore's movie, only instead of Al it will be Lenin, delivering the content of our earlier Truth articles about Global Warming.
Red SquareWe can do a sequel to Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" and call it "An Inconvenient Pravda." It will be similar to Al Gore's movie, only instead of Al it will be Lenin, delivering the content of our earlier Truth articles about Global Warming.
Red SquareThe question is, can you do Al Gore's accent?
Quote:We could show Lenin beating up dissenters!
Quote:Add a little bit of Brain Opener® solution (for a kick).
Red SquareAbsolutely. Those are two completely different movies. They're as different as "March of the Penguins" is different from "The Texas Longhorns Magical March to the 2005 National Championship."
Comrade OtisOne of my favorite Global Warming Vodka drinks:
Sister Massively OpiatedWell... I must say this is much much better! If we are to anthropomorphize polar bears and other polar animals, then I am happy to see we are doing so with a healthier alternative than Coca-Cola.
Very Large Bear
Comrade OtisOne of my favorite Global Warming Vodka drinks:
Ivan BetinovOur top story tonight: Killer Scrotum Approaches Betinov's Hovel.
Red SquareIs that mate available for voiceovers - or has he/she/it been purged from 'round t'corner?
Pruden in Washington TimesScams die hard, but eventually they die, and when they do, nobody wants to get close to the corpse. You can get all the hotel rooms you want this week in Cancun.
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Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues
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Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
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Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
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Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees
Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left
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FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
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IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
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This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
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Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
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Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
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Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
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Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
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