Abu Salim, Exxon station manager: "Moms have no problem dumping off one of their kids in return for a month of fill ups."
LOS ANGELES -- Since local gas stations began accepting children as payment for a month's worth of gas last Saturday, thousands of enthusiastic moms have already dumped off their annoying kids at the pump and took off to the mall with tanks full of gas. The new Kids-4-Gas program, successfully introduced by LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, is meant to ease the burden on poor families while simultaneously fix most logistical problems related to overpopulation.
"With gas prices higher than Beverley Hills heroin addicts, it is our duty as Democrats and good citizens, to help the poor get by another day without having to work harder," says Los Angeles Mayor. "Anything is better than drilling for more oil in Alaska."
As long as there are cars on the road, the gas prices are too low. Turning in children for gas is fine (dropping them into a Goodwill box is also acceptable), but we need to keep taxing and taxing so that profits AND driving fall to zero.
Garfield explains oil prices here.
Chairman Meow-Say-PunSo what exactly happens to the kids once we trade them in???
Why, we eat them, of course! No more mad cow for Jau Jau, lemme tell ya!
Dr. W. S. PalimpsestIs there an age limit, or is it possible for parents to trade in their full-grown adult kids too?
I would certainly think, that a beer-fed 29-year-old layabout is as nearly succulent as a tot would be, and it would solve a plethora of problems