Once the Democrats take charge in January, bring the troops home, and appoint Jimmy Carter to keep America safe, we must be prepared to submit to Sharia Law pretty quick.
It will not be voluntary - but it can be made smooth and painless with the use of re-educational TV programming.
The American masses won't even notice the transition, just like they didn't notice the transition to socialist values in the past, due to the masterful work of mind-conditioning experts at all progressive media channels.
To that end we recommend this...
Sharia-friendly Winter TV Line-up:
Candid camera on top of a dune in the Arabian Desert. Watch the sand move. Fascinating. (Live)
My Mother The Car Bomb
Situation comedy where a man's dead mother is reincarnated as an old-fashioned, quirky, fun-loving car bomb. Teaches the values of spreading the faith by the sword.
Teenage friends ensure Sharia Law is enforced throughout their sleepy little mid-western town. Good role models for young Madrasa students.
Sitcom about nothing (other than the benevolence of Allah). Four friends make their way through carefully censored sketches of Muslim culture in Sharia-ruled New York.
Forget Jack Bauer and 24, the hottest thing on Islamovision is 72 virgins! Al Jazeera's new show in which special al-Qaeda operative Jafeer al-Baar must travel to 72 countries and blow up 72 public places within 72 hours in order to get to meet with 72 virgins. Rated "F" (family show). See TRAILER.
Really Desperate Housewives
After Zulfia has her clitoris not-so-surgically removed she decides to become a suicide bomber
Life on the Gaza streets
Lebanese Home Makeover
Courtesy of the Israeli army's bulldozer. Starring Flat Fatima with her all-Zionist work crew
The winner gets his head sawed off
Clerics Drawn Together
Without Danish cartoonists, praise Allah
Dead or Not Dead
Can you pick the dhimmi that will not be beheaded?
Starring Baghs Bunny, Dhimmi Duck, El-Elmer Faad, Pope is Pig, The Roadbomber & Mufti Coyote, and Abu Le Pew
Other recommended programming:
Mandatory programming for children
Permissible Music Videos:
Educational Songs From Motion Pictures
The above recommendations have been developed with the help of the People Cube's Groupthink members who picked their personal brain units and copy/pasted their findings, reminding us of what already existed in the depths of our collective consciousness.
Quote:Billy Bragg was described by The Times newspaper as a ‘national treasure’. In the two and a half decades of his career Bragg has certainly made an indelible mark on the conscience of British music, becoming perhaps the most stalwart guardian of the radical dissenting tradition that stretches back over centuries of the country’s political, cultural and social history.
Quote:March on! March on! On!
Quote:NO BLOOD FOR DATES! EAT OATMEAL FOR PEACE!
Commissar TheocritusI take the most credit for rap. It is utter shit, doggerel that I saw on bathroom walls while friends of mine (never me!) were doing disreputable things in public venues.
Iran's Next Top Martyr
Winner walks the catwalk before self-detonation
I think you have forgotten a couple shows. I can't wait for Iran's Next Top Martyr. A group of women compete for the chance to win a trip to the western country of their choice where they will visit a crowded mall and self-detonate. Each episode a panel of celebrity judges, including a weekly guest cleric, vote one of the women off the show for being the most brazen, after which she is take to a local soccer stadium and the guest audience stones her to death. When only one contestant is left, she is fitted with a vest-bomb, flies to the infidel nation of her choice, and goes to the most crowded mall where she is crowned Iran's Next Top Martyr. The show culminates with her pushing the button.
Perhaps this will be the first brazen whore to be voted off the show and stoned to death - she clearly wishes to flaunt her beauty in order to lead the pious astray.
This contestant vows that if she is the winner, she will cultivate a uni-brown in order to dissuade undue attention from male infidels and the pious alike.
|Also added to the spring schedule is the Canadian smash hit, Little Mosque on the Prairie, a CBC (Communist Broadcasting Corpse) production. How much better can family entertainment get?|
Quote:But Nine Inch Nails? Whippersnapper. Well, from the free 30 seconds on iTunes, I can see it's better than country...
Commissar TheocritusThis is a change in the table d'hote for the CBC. I had thought that they only made movies about young homosexual men who fled intolerable lives in repressive provincial towns to move to less repressive but utterly anonymous Canadian cities, there to take up residency with other young homosexual men who fled repressive provincial towns but who had, to support living in an anonymous Canadian city, taken to selling their bodies and--here's the shocker--buying drugs with the proceeds.
Commissar TheocritusTo continue in the miscegenation of differing threads, as I speak I am listening to the Saint-Saens Organ Symphony, one of my favorites. It helps that I was once a decent amateur pianist and played the organ (pipe is understood) in college. And never forget that although I am a strange man, I still have in full force that male desire for buttons to push. When I am going strong, I command at one time a full quarter of the electrons in the earth's mantle. That is why your computer was on the rag. I did it, without meaning you harm.
Commissar TheocritusBut Nine Inch Nails? Whippersnapper. Well, from the free 30 seconds on iTunes, I can see it's better than country...Having grown up on the prairies, I can't listen to C&W, except Johnny Cash and Patsy Kline - I get this almost irresistable urge to stick a fork in my eye when I hear it since I lived among those who listened to only two types of music... Country.... and Western... for so long... Johnny Cash did a cover of a NIN song, Hurt, before he died... My favourite C&W song is called, "I Still Miss You, But My Aim Is Getting Better".
Bvt. Field Marshal Pravdahmmm...I don't suppose you've given any consideration to Johnny Cash, have you? If not, I definitely recommend the old stuff...he's a genius and a one-of-a-kind human being...He was at that... the equivalent of naive art in the beginning, because he was self-taught and it grew out of his mother's love of hymns. That's why he was so good - cause he was being so honest.
Laika the Space DogWow, this "Little Mosque on the Prairie" is really weird, considering the serious nature of what Western Civilization is up against. I watched the trailers and the humor is quite dark if you take a momemt to really think about it. The show is about de-sensitivation. After all, Mooselims are known for their great sense of humor around the world. It's so funny you'll laugh your head off...if you don't, some jihadi will help you.
Sister Massively OpiatedYou've just described the lives of every single one of my gay friends, except that none of them are crack whores...
Sister Massively OpiatedDo you have a boyfriend?No, no boyfriend. I have had one serious one, as opposed to wannabes who were really opportunistic infections, and he was an old college friend, whom I returned to the store over 20 years ago. He thereupon entered the seminary but it didn't take and I had more sympathy than before for the Jesuits' desperate need of manpower to take someone who was, to me at least, mildly sociopathic. Not, you would think, a personality trait you want in a priest. But then I had more personal knowledge. Through him I met another friend, Ed, who is now a Catholic priest in El Paso and with whom I had supper last week, and whom I like enough that I do not sharpen my claws at his expense. It is my contention that priests, and not just Ed, do not really understand the Biblical definition of faith and I know of no better definition. (Years ago, while searching for meaning about god, I read C. S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters and recently it struck me that, properly viewed, I could be an agent of Wormwood. An amusing thought.)
Quote:Johnny Cash did a cover of a NIN song, Hurt
Laika the Space DogMamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up Jihadis
Quote:....Willy and Waylon...
Quote:David Allen Coe
Laika the Space Dog
Quote:....Willy and Waylon...
Quote:David Allen Coe
Quote:... I'm surprised no one mentioned Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) given this thread
Quote:...didn't he do "Piece Train"???
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Harry Reid: "Sometimes I say the wong thing"
Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids
Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution
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Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts
Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks
100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"
Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news
"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence
Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours
Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues
Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed
Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"
In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea
Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"
Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food!"
Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"
US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"
Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help
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In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook
MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia’s aggression in Ukraine
Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America
North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"
Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout
Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss
Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district
Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend
Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle
White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare
Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle" to keep him from ruining another family Christmas
OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea
President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy
Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"
Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"
Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week
NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"
Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough
The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"
Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation
Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy
Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"
Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees
Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left
Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'
FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies
GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'
Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism
News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota
Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment
Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'
Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
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May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
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