It is a matter of common knowledge that the path to a better future lies trough the creation of a gigantic number of progressive organizations, groups, fronts, initiatives, leagues, unions, centers, and movements. The number of existing ones is not nearly sufficient. Why? The logic is quite simple. If they were numerous enough, we would already be living in a better future, now wouldn't we?
Why aren't they proliferating at a greater pace? Indeed, we have set up a comprehensive system that guarantees every new progressive organization instant funding, publicity, and membership from the shared pool of activists. What is stopping the masses from organizing?
Having spent millions of dollars on progressive research, scientists at the People's Cube Institute have given a plausible answer to this paradox. The main reason for inadequate proliferation of progressive groups is a growing shortage of good, memorable names.
Certain clever finds, like International A.N.S.W.E.R. ( Act Now to Stop War & End Racism) and NOW (National Organization for Women), only prove that the more good names we find, the fewer remain.
This planet's resources are limited. The Zero-Sum principle discovered by Marxist science explains why the more you take, the less there is left. Thus, the more money one makes, the less there is left for others. It's universal. Take music: all possible combinations of the seven notes have already been used by the greedy dead white male composers of the past who left nothing for the future generations, women, and minorities. That is why we are listening to rap music.
The same rule applies to progressive organizations. The pool of names is simply exhausted.
| Examples of poorly chosen names for otherwise great progressive initiatives |
But is the fight over? Far from it! To help people's activists, researchers at the People's Cube Institute have created a brainstorming tool that will boost your creativity and hopefully result in a surge of extremely useful and vibrant organizations, groups, fronts, initiatives, leagues, unions, centers, and movements.
Unite! Organize! Represent!
Revolutionaries United By Envy and Self-Importance
Trotskyite Workers Imagining Transcontinental Socialism
Deadheads Organized for the Legalization of THC and Smack
Free-thinking Radicals for Awareness, Understanding, Diversity, and Sensitivity
People Eating Tasty Animals
Oh.....I don't know if I really like this one considering what's for dinner in the Peoples Paradises of Democratic Korea and Vietnam. I bet they don't have any space dogs.
Utopian Lawyers For Systematic Whatever
Starving Toddlers For Systematic Apology
Unemployed Mental Patients For Socialized Sex
Angry Housewives For Equitable Civilization
Disabled Muslims For Lower Aid
Progressive Dolphins For Human Humanity
Anarchist Toddlers For Worldwide Painkillers
Anarchist Mothers For Human Sex
Socialist Mental Patients For Systematic America
Poor Hippies For Non-Violent Welfare
Drugged Bush-haters For Spontaneous Drugs
Desperate Sex Workers For Vegetarian Rainforest
Socialist Operatives Rallying for Redistribution Of Wealth
Academic Iconoclasts Representing Hedonism, Environmental Activism, Disarmament, and Sandal-wearing
Marxist Extremists Advocating Global Environmental Regulations
Leftists Against Militaristic Expansionism
UGLY (now Billionaires for Bush)
Urban Guerrillas Lampooning Yuppies
Progressives Resisting Intelligence, Courtesy, and Kindness.
Empower Marginalized Peoples, Intern Rich Exploiters
Vegan Environmentalists Rejecting Masculinity, Imperialism, and Narrow-mindedness
League of Animal Rights' Defenders
Coalition of Radicals for Advancing North Korean Socialism
Greens Advocating Recycling, Gardening Organically, Yoga, and Loving the Earth
People for the Edible Treatment of Animals
Democrats Inciting People to Start Hunting Intolerant Toltaritarian Scum
(I like the irony of the group name)
Destroyers of Tyranny with New Educational Techniques
Laurenti P. Beria
*Bullshitting Egalitarians Don't Expect Anybody Disagreeing.
Selfless Teamplayers Against "Little Eichmanns"
West-coast Altruists, Naderites, & Kleptocrats for Enforcing Redistribution and Sacrifice
World Institute of Nihilists Deconstructing Bourgeois Assumptions and Glorifying Subjectivism
Senate Losers Undercutting Government
Pacifists Opposed To Escalation and the Military's Killing of Innocent Non-combatants
Illiterate Drunks and Illegals Openly Taunting Society
Oh, well. Here's another:
WORM- Worldwide Organization of Republican "Mavericks"
Did you just try to post and put your User Name in the top in the quick reply??? That is the incorrect method, for our Politbureau servers are made to authenticate you! There is a login link near the top of the forums, I suggest you log-in, and then you will have no problem posting under your Code-Name!
Humanitarians Extending Relief to Poorly Endowed Sex-workers
Fix It Again, Tony
Bowel Movement Wagon
Young Open-minded Under-educated Retards Making Odd Masks
Demoralized Nincompoops Club
Hippies Against Logical Thinking
Obama Religious Imbeciles For Instant Conservative Epithets.
Sean Penns Hollywood Irrationals Needing Cocaine To Emote Rubbish.
Predictable Obama Oratory Pastiche.
Clinton Rape Etiquette And Masking Exposure Democrats.