Girls everywhere want to meet that tall, dark, and handsome man of their dreams. They long for the feel of that glass slipper on their foot. They pine away for the handsome prince that is willing to go that extra mile. Consider the following love story as one for the ages.
|A new video released today on al Jazeera captivated not only regulars enticed by displays of flying body parts and beheadings, but drew in scores of reality TV aficionados, many of whom wept tears of sympathetic tenderness.|
In what may well become known as the world's most romantic marriage proposal, Osama Bin Laden, president of the al Qaeda network, stumbled in the midst of his latest fatwa against Western infidels, then produced a small box from the folds of his robe. He fell to one knee and, looking straight into the camera, uttered in perfect English, "I love you Cindy Sheehan. Will you marry me, baby doll?" He then opened the box containing a gorgeous four carat spherical-cut diamond ring in a platinum setting, still on the finger of its previous owner.
"I missed you when you went away to tend after your mother," the hardened warrior gushed, pausing only to wipe a tear from his eye. "And when you came back I knew I could no longer live without having you always around, saying "Bush this" and "Bush that" - which is like pouring honey in my ears. That's when I told my other wives: make room for Cindy, she's coming to Baluhistan!"
It just so happens that, as usual, everybody was glued to the al-Jazeera broadcast at Camp Casey at the time. Cindy burst into tears and held her face in her hands as well-wishers spontaneously hugged her and expressed their ululated blessings. It has been reported that the organizer of Code Pink, the legendary Medea Benjamin, ran out of the room in tears and wept for hours.
Excited reporters in Crawford rushed to their satellite videophones to spread the breaking news, as Cindy received congratulations from Martin Sheen, Al Sharpton, Joan Baez, and many other celebrities whom she has befriended during her brief stay in Crawford. Barbara Streisand emailed Cindy a recording of her favorite fatwas, dedicated to the two love birds.
Enthralled Democrat pundits consider these developments crucial to a lasting Mideast peace. Sen. John Kerry declared, "should Osama and Cindy marry, a new era of understanding will undoubtedly reign. George Bush should meet with Cindy and Osama, and officiate the ceremony -- or at least give away the bride."
When contacted by Al-Jazeera, Osama stated, "I think she would make a good wife. As for an end to hostilities, I would guarantee a 10% reduction in bombings, with incentives if Cindy puts out." Additionally, Osama demanded a dowry of "two middle-sized American cities and access to a major port."
Cindy has been seen padding around camp Casey in a hijab with a big smile on her face. "Who wouldn't be excited," she declared. "It's not every day you get propositioned by a tall, dark and handsome man with millions of dollars and a mature world-view." When asked about marriage plans, she demurred, "we don't want too much publicity. The helicopters would ruin the ceremony."
Abu Bin Dover
I hope Osama mentioned the mandatory female "circumcision". I'm sure Cindy won't mind; it's "Osama Knows Best" from now on. As the future Mrs. Bin Laden has declared, there is nothing superior in our way of life to Osama's.
The Sheehan Sheeple
Cindy better than 72 virgiiiiiiinnnnnssss!
Quote:I hope you enjoy my roughened visage as much as I enjoy your lovely camel-like features.
Why do the camels have to be insulted?? What wrong did they ever do to the collective to be lumped together with a she-swine like this?
Cindy Sheehans Ex-hubby
Bluto the Reactionary
WJC vacationin in a ditch
You big lummox - eat some proletariat espinach before ya's loses the rest o' yer memory and forgets how to revolt!
Bluto the Reactionary
What?! I can't hear ya Wimpy!
"I'd gladly pay you today for a vegan burger Tuesday"
But how true!