The 2006 Election is a battle in the culture war that we, the Progressives, can't afford to lose! We must stay the course at any cost! If we cut and run now, the right-wingers will follow us home and we will have to fight them on our own soil - in public schools, academia, news media, Hollywood and TV!

So gear up for the Great Patriotic Elections, comrade, with bumper stickers, election buttons, and lawn signs! And don't forget - one must mark ALL of his/her/its ballots for Democrats on November 7!

We strongly advise you not to use any slogans or jokes that do not carry an explicit rubber stamp of the Propaganda Department. Let John Kerry's demise be a lesson to all of you Party soldiers who believe you can think for yourselves. You can't. If you would like to use a phrase that is not listed below, we urge you to post it here first for our review.

MORE >>


Below are Party-approved slogans recommended for spontaneous rallies and street marches.

• Vote Democrat! The last decision you'll ever make!
  
• Vote Democrat! Because thinking for yourself is hard!
  
• Vote Democrat! Because we need an alpha male in the white house - AND her husband.
  
• Vote Democrat! Soros for shadow president in 2008!
  
• Vote Democrat! Because the media isn't biased enough...yet!
  
• Vote Democrat! We brake for terrorists!
  
• Vote Democrat and drive on the left!
  
• Vote Democrat and receive a free purple heart!
  
• Vote Democrat and get extra toilet paper and bread ration in January!
  
• Vote Democrat! Put a stick in the spokes of the capitalist economy!
  
• Vote Democrat, s'il vous plais!
  
• We know what's good for you, and voting for Democrats is!
  
• We will help you in any way we see fit!
  
• We will do the thinking for you!
  
• We will tell you what is diverse and what is not!
  
• We will beat the individualism out of the individual!
  
• We will help the proletariat help themselves to whatever they want!
  
• We will show you the shortest way from here to utopia!
  
• We will tax you into prosperity!
  
• We will make you generous!
  
• We will take things away from you for the common good!
  
• We will decrease America's dependence on foreign everything except the UN!
  
• In a culture war, there's no cutting and running!
  
• Use your first amendment right to eliminate yourselves!
  
• A chicken in every car, pot in every garage!
  
• Peace at any cost!
  
• A century of failure proves nothing!
  
• Rational thought is the opiate of the masses!
  
• Executive, legislature, judicial, ACLU!
  
• Power to the proper people!
  
• We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
  
• Because the Constitution just doesn't cut it anymore!
  
• Re-educate thyself!
  
• Why can't we be more like North Korea?
  
• 100% of Democratic Socialists agree... there can be no disagreeing!

I have a few that need meticulous review...

Vote Democrat! We need CHANGE, YOUR CHANGE!

Vote Democrat! Leave all children behind!

Vote Democrat! If you don't, we will dig someone up who will!

Vote Democrat! We have Miracle Healers, all diseases will be cured!

Vote Democrat! Give your head to tolerance and world peace!

Read our lips! All new taxes!

Put down the P.A.T.R.I.O.T Act and the Patriots!

War? Not in my name! Abortion? WHERE CAN I SIGN UP!!!!!

I know that mistakes are never made by The Party, therefore, a proletarian opportunity was created by by The Party, allowing for someone like me the opportunity to point out that The Party has approved of this slogan:

"Vote Democrat! Vote Often!"

Correct me if I am wrong, but is that not in The Party's pamphlet on how to correctly and properly vote?

winston wrote:I know that mistakes are never made by The Party, therefore, a proletarian opportunity was created by by The Party, allowing for someone like me the opportunity to point out that The Party has approved of this slogan:

"Vote Democrat! Vote Often!"

Correct me if I am wrong, but is that not in The Party's pamphlet on how to correctly and properly vote?

This is correct protocol, comrade winston.

"Vote or Die"??? wtf...why not "Die and Vote"...make yourselves more useful in the glorious hereafter than you ever were alive.

Please to approve, Komrades:

Vote Democrat! You not go to party, Party come for YOU!

Cave Canem wrote:Vote Democrat! You not go to party, Party come for YOU!

Welcome comrade Canem. You slogan reminds us of the glorious time in Soviet Russia when the Party not only held you and organized you, but it could also occasionally crash you.

In honor of Comrade Lenin's famous words in the glorious 1917 revolution, I propose this:

"Vote Democrat! 'Peace, Land, Bread'!"

that could be the Palestinian slogan, too (substitute "bread" with "bomb")

Branish wrote:In honor of Comrade Lenin's famous words in the glorious 1917 revolution, I propose this:

"Vote Democrat! 'Peace, Land, Bread'!"

In fact, that's only the short version. The extended version of the memorable 1917 slogan was "Power to soviets. Peace to the nations. Land to peasants. Factories to workers."

As illustrated below. The top line says "Lenin." The bottom line says "October." The text in the middle is the extended slogan itself.

Vote Democrat or off to the Gulag

Vote Democrat in at least 5 states or no potatoes in the winter!

Vote Democrat and support the Communist Revolution

V

Vote for the Green Green Dancing Machine! Vote Krissy!
Pummel, Punish and Purge Pelosi! Vote Krissy!
Slingshot Socialism! Vote Krissy!
Hugo is not a Thug! We all Need a Hug! Vote Krissy!

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Pummel, Punish and Purge Pelosi! Vote Krissy!
Slingshot Socialism! Vote Krissy!

Nice alliterations, comrade Laika. Get an extra ration of tofu bones for the Holiday Season.

-- Red Square

Vote Democrat - Show Your Parents What You've Learned at College

Vote Democrat - Your Grade Depends on It

Vote Democrat - All the "Cool" Kids are Doing It

Vote Democrat - It Makes A Lot of Cents for Government

Vote Democrat - We'll Make the Deportation Trains Run on Time

A Poem Me thinks?

Pelosi, Pelosi thick and through, always has her lipstick drawn askew.
Pelosi, Pelosi how dare you, accepted cash from oil dealing trash!
Pelosi, Pelosi the people speak, November 8th shall be our treat.
Pelosi, Pelosi the time has come, Krissy shall ascend and you will be
DONE!

Vote Democrat - We've Got Our Mind on Your Money & Your Money on Our Mind

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Pelosi, Pelosi thick and through, always has her lipstick drawn askew.
Pelosi, Pelosi how dare you, accepted cash from oil dealing trash!
Pelosi, Pelosi the people speak, November 8th shall be our treat.
Pelosi, Pelosi the time has come, Krissy shall ascend and you will be
DONE!

Is this the old, time-honored traditional folk ballad that we remember the Party has requested today about Nancy Pantaloons, a tragic girl who fell into a dark and scary abyss after straying too far to the right?

Isn't it supposed to be something like "Nancy Pantaloons thick and through, always has her lipstick drawn askew"?

Everything else is fine. Please rewrite and start inserting into 19th and 20th century songbooks without delay.

Our good friend Garison Keeler will record it with his band of drunken Norwegians and we'll make sure the NPR plays it ten times a day on all taxpayer-funded programs.

Comrade Redsquare, I went through my old vinyls (the ones I confiscated under Article One Title Two of the Chairmans Tribute Clause) and found this treasure, restored and in it's original revolutionary glory. Gems like this are hard to find, but because I like to abuse my power, I had no trouble at all snatching it from the poor put upon proles whose dirty frozen hands I grabbed it from. They are in the Gulag now... ENJOY!


Songs of The Timeless Tradition of Folk Collectivism: Nancy Pantaloons

Nancy Nancy our Fancy Pants,
Had a time with our cats
She skinned em' good and let them cook
Turned on us like a repug crook

Oh Nancy Pantaloons thick and through, always has her lipstick drawn askew.
Oh Nancy Pantaloons how dare you, accepted cash from oil dealing trash!
Oh Nancy Pantaloons the people speak, November 8th shall be our treat.
Oh Nancy Pantaloons the time has come, Krissy shall ascend and you will be
DONE!

Nancy Nancy our Fancy Pants,
Made Her Excellency do a dance
Speaker speaker I must get through
We got a purging just for you

Oh Nancy Pantaloons thick and through, always has her lipstick drawn askew.
Oh Nancy Pantaloons how dare you, accepted cash from oil dealing trash!
Oh Nancy Pantaloons the people speak, November 8th shall be our treat.
Oh Nancy Pantaloons the time has come, Krissy shall ascend and you will be
DONE!

Excellent. Procede with positioning the song as something the people have sung since time immemoria while doing their favorite collective activities.

Nice, Comrade Otis! Extra vodka for you tonight!

Vote Demokrat - Get free stuff!!!

If you don't vote Demokrat you hate children!!

Vote Demokrat!!! NOW!!! DO IT!!!!

Hate successful people? Vote Demokrat and we'll give you their stuff!!

Tired of the rat race? Vote Demokrat and there will be no race, just entitlements!!

Vote Demokrat - Just because communism didn't work anywhere else, doesn't mean it won't work here.


O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Vote Demokrat! We welcome living voters too!

Vote Demokrat! All the cool spoiled rich college kids are doing it!

Vote Demokrat and Take Back America (to 1968)!

Vote Demokrat! Only uneducated troops vote Republican!

Vote Demokrat! Don't ask why, and don't even think about it, just do it!

Vote Demokrat! George Soros and Moveon.org know what's best for you!

Vote Demokrat and stop Bush from making more hurricanes!

Vote Demokrat! Because we haven't f**ked Amerika up enough!

Vote Demokrat! Your life depends on it!

Vote Demokrat! Because everyone should be more like the androgynous Japanese video game characters!

Vote Demokrat! Because you have nothing better to do with your free time!

You think we'll make the poor equal to you, when we really will make you equal to the poor

Wow after 2 weeks in the glorious North Korean onclave for errhh uuh training I have to give everyone extra rations of rice beer and kimchie(expect private Pravada we still haven't found the train he borrowed last time he had some peoples Vodka) for all of these glorious reasons to vote DemoKRAT I think I have some dirty peasant clothing to wipe my eyes with excuse me...oh yea and

Vote DemoKrat! Because why make reality a real concept!
Vote DemoKrat! Because its time to purge the Stupid Conservative Christians from main stream Masses!!

Oatmeal for Demokrats in '06!
Free (the) Oatmeal!
Give Oatmeal a Chance

Luv that Comrade Pelosi! Ya know, that dimple on her chin? That's not a dimple, that's her navel. The woman is one more face-lift away from looking like Comrade Lenin.

Found these on Free Republic. A little too late now, but I thought I should still do it for the children...

We Deserve Power...
Elect Us, Or Else...
Trust Us...
We're More Competent than We Look...
We'll Try Harder...
Tell Us What You Want, We'll Give it to You...
We Promise, We Deliver...
Who Else Hates Rich People?
Is Your Boss a Jerk? We'll put him in his place
$50,000 per year Minimum Wage-- Guaranteed!
Want Universal Free Groceries ?
The Squeaky Wheel Needs Grease...

Someone there also suggested that the correct spelling of the most recent Democrat slogan is "A Nude Erection For America" with a picture of Ted Kennedy on the beach. This last one is also for the children, helping future generations to stay with the abstinence program for a little longer.