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Pascal's Global Warming Wager: Amen and Hallelujah!

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The flock of seagulls crapping on cars at WalMart was an improvement on a Flock of Seagulls crapping in car radios in the 80s.

Cheap joke; they weren't a bad one-trick pony, but then those were my days of wine, --men and song, and so I view them through rose-tinted glasses. Ma vie en rose.

Do you suppose that Nanski will return in a burqa? Or is it our Many Titted Empress who might return with one? But it would take the entire year's output of Omar's One-Price Tent Makers to cover her two-time-zones ass. But would a burqa even be noticeable on Nanski with those lemur-like eyes?

When Hillary is conscious and there is not a dull roar, that's a sign. When she's asleep, we hear the same sounds we heard in Reagan (the girl)'s room in <i>The Exorcist</i>. Pazuzu speaking through our Empress. Projectile green ichor vomit.

I suspect that Michael Moore is hungry enough for power, and food, that that in and of itself may have contributed to his ginormous fatness.

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No, Nanski will return naked, drunk and foaming around the mouth with her new powers.

Ummm.... why does John McCain appear on the Ad banner??? I mean, we're communist here and will vote multiple times for Hillary/Obama in '08? Don't get me wrong, McCain is an acceptable choice for a Vice Premier. He did save us from ourselves with his dashing maverick ways and made many deals with The Party.

HILLARY BANNER FOR THE PEOPLE, NOW! (that means you Google!)

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Ah, Meow. I see it all so clearly now. McCain wanted campaign finance reform to tinker with the soft cash doled out by Archer Daniels Midland, the biggest welfare queen in American history. Ethanol. Animal feed. And has anyone ever thought that he was channeling Henry Ross Perot on some level? WHO IS NOT A NATIVE TEXAN, by the way, goddamn it. He comes from Slick Willie's state

Gospodin Zampolit, has Lupe returned with your Cuervo? You know that if you're real nice, Sammy Hagar will give you some of his grand reserve tequila, Cabo Wabo. I like mine mixed with cryoprecipitate 8. So what if a few hemophiliacs exsanguinate? They might be Romanoffs after all.

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Commissar Doctor Theocritus,

Why she has indeed returned with more Cuervo! And she has mixed up a fresh batch of of extra-nuclear Margaritas!

LUPE!!!! Pour Commissar Doctor Theocritus an extra-large glass. And be quick about it woman!

Herr Doctor Commissar I am fresh out of cryoprecipitate 8 and ethyl-glycol. However, would you like that with or without Ethanol???

GODDAMMIT LUPE!!!! Where the F*CK is the Commissar's Margarita???

--

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I must confess, Gospodin; ever since I read <i>Brideshead Revisited</i> (and I really honestly missed the homoerotic substance in it while canoodling in my puppy wuv--honestly) I have fashioned myself as a faded Edwardian Dandy--strawberries and champagne on the banks of the Oxford. Aloysious the teddy bear, Sebastian Flyte, and all that.

Champagne be damned. Gimme a slug of Bombay Sapphire and make the martini the Churchill way. With a bow toward France. And speaking of Winnie, does the honorable Gospodin's hospitality extend to a Churchill rolled against the thighs of a virgin Cuban? If you're out, I have a special selection sent me from Fidel, muled in by Raul of all people. He's really not a hard-liner, and we can do business with him. He butters good and I have on loan some of the Faberge eggs to promote the People's Paradise with, and if Steve Forbes doesn't quit hollering about them, HRC will pay him a visit to 'splain things to him.

Care for any options on a sugar-cane plantation? It's amazing what the Senoritas will do for a little Dove soap, I'm reliably told. Me, I have hot-and-cold running pool boys. Chacun a son gout. De gustibus non est disputandum. And all that good shit.

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Comrade Commissar Doctor Theocritus,

A well made Margarita, with copious amounts of Cuervo and Ethanol, is without a doubt one of the finer pleasures in life. Even more so than being anally serviced by Bashar al-Assad. Right Comrade Pelosivich??? Don't play coy with me bitch! I know your back in town!. Don't get me wrong!!! I enjoy a good martini too! And YES INDEED!!! I have quite a few Churchhills and Robustos in the old humidor. I think a few of them are Romeo y Juliettas that say "Hecho en Habana" on the band! :D

Soaping up those lovely senoritas on the Sugar Cane plantations is indeed a great deal of fun!

And Yes! Indeed I would enjoy some sugar-cane options! Now that the Algore has spoken, Sugar-cane will be a seriously important source for Ethanol. All the more better for our Margaritas!!!

LUPE!!!! Another Margarita for the Commissar and myself. And best you not drag dat azz dis time!

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Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

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Goodness... I was beginning to wonder, looking back at my posts of the last several days if perhaps I was finally losing it... the result of mixing too many medications for too long, or simply the pain from my hip getting to me, but appears that much of the Cube has gone mad...

I believe spring has arrived... and someone has slipped wormwood in the still again...

MEOW!!... what have I told you about Absinthe!!!

JP
nice, very nice... i'm new to the cube but am enjoying it already.


JP

"A dark evil will rise from the great city of the new world. Many will follow her not knowing the truth. She will attempt to make peace with the warriors of Muhammad. There will be no peace as fire falls upon her land." The quatrains of Nostraduamus

https://www.myspace.com/numberonejp

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Ah Hell... now things are really off "Hilter"...

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Gospodin Zampolit Blokhayev, I cannot speak about the pleasures of being anally serviced, although Nansky might. Perhaps she has contracted with Doc Johnson for a three-phase butt plug which explains her exopthalmia. If it shorted out, that would explain her hair.

Has anyone seen Barbara Boxer lately?

This makes me recall SMO's Hildo 7.0. We had decided that a party with Hillary, Janet, and Maureen would be nice, but never did get around to extending the tool. I propose the Hildo Hydra. Using an Intel Core 2 Duo it might be able to configue one using galvanic skin response and respiration and blood-oxygen levels to insure that all felt good at the same time. Each starting at her own pace, but slowly and surely, with the deft touch of Balanchine or Graham, getting into synch. Of course the rinal result would be so noisy that it would require the services of an outdoor area, or at least the Skydome--with the dome open.

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recall SMO's Hildo 7.0.

Yes, there has been a recall on the 7.0 after sectarian insurgent backlash (not to mention the whiplash, damn ....that thing has torque) from the Goremans on the Hildo 7.0 not being enviromentally friendly. Diesel is out, hybrid is in.
Our engineers will take your considerations into account Dr.Theocritus when designing the 7.1
Hell, Janet, Maureen and I had to buy 75,000 Carbon Indulgences for our last session alone and that hurts my campaign cash flow.

Expect the Hildo Hydra Hybrid (H3 7.1) at your finer Adult stores in the weeks to come. It'll be in the same aisle as The Orgasmatron.


https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/story ... 788&page=1

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I think you're thinking of a different Cube member... I lean toward KitchenAid Stand Mixers - not that there's anything wrong with Hildos or anything...

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That's nothing new SMO, Theocritus is always getting his wires crossed.
Next he'll be claiming you came up with MY healthcare program.
The important thing is that he contributed to advancing the cause of secondary and tertiary sexual characteristics with his improvements to the Hildo and helping to stop Global Warming. Two tricks for the price of one!

H3 7.1 The Future is NOW!

Hillary '08

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My empress, no one but you could come with Hillarycare. No one but you could hire Ira Magaziner to do it. Genius! After he cost GE $200 million for rotary compressors for refrigerators and they didn't work. After he screwed up Volvo and Sweden. Sheer genius! You have a perfect eye for the perfect man to screw up something perfectly. I understood exactly your idea. When people are young, they need no health care. If they need it, they're not good workers, and so we don't need them. If they're old, when you need health care, then they can't work, so who needs them? To the wall with anyone who can't work the fields! Genius, my empress.

And, yes, sometimes I do get my wires crossed. I'm not a moonbat. I'm a fruitbat.

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By the way, are you sure that you want to remove the word diesel? That word alone attracts some females of the odd sort who work on trucks. They are properly called "diesel dykes."

And, Empress, sitting here 11 storeys above the Riverwalk in San Antonio, tossing ice cubes at the proles below, it came to me that there is a way to increase the marketability of the H3 7.1. Replaceable tips.

For some people, I'd suggest oil cooling. But the only oil sufficiently thin even at those temperatures, is poison. So I suggest that the material be Kevlar. Or Lexan, perhaps; if a drunk cannot beat through a Lexan liquor-store window, it seems unlikely that Molly Yard could break one off.

And for those girls with, shall we say, another problem, let me suggest a carborundum-coated tip to break off the bits of rust. Janet comes to mind. The only problem is that the H3 7.1 would no longer be envirobnmentally friendly for the sound of it at work on Janet would be like an 50-ton truck full of live pigs locking the brakes at 80 miles an hour. (Pace Gilbert Shelton, and the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothes, another Austin transport to S.F. When it was straight. Hippie but straight.)

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Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
Knew them well...Fat Freddy & his Cat, Phineas, and Freewheelin' Franklin.
They're the ones who introduced me to vitamin K.
Apparently they gave a you a cup of "Tee Hee Hee".
Correct?
Chairman Meow doesn't know it, but Fat Freddy's Cat calls him every time Fat Freddy pulls his tail.

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Her Most Majestical Exalted Excellency wrote:Chairman Meow doesn't know it, but Fat Freddy's Cat calls him every time Fat Freddy pulls his tail.

As long as it's consensual, Your Excellency. Even pets can now file suit against those who engage in sexual harassment.

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Hillary wrote:
Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
Knew them well...Fat Freddy & his Cat, Phineas, and Freewheelin' Franklin.
They're the ones who introduced me to vitamin K.
Apparently they gave a you a cup of "Tee Hee Hee".
Correct?
Chairman Meow doesn't know it, but Fat Freddy's Cat calls him every time Fat Freddy pulls his tail.
yes! The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers!!!

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Hillary mentioned:
Chairman Meow doesn't know it, but Fat Freddy's Cat calls him every time Fat Freddy pulls his tail.
The famous line:

"One orange cat is pretty much the same as any other."

or something like that...man that was funny sh*t...

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Actually, the cat's line was, "I'll get you for that, you fat fucker."

And the time he laid an egg in his shorts while Fat Freddie was taking a shower and Freddie let out a yell: "Such range. Such timber."

The time he was locked in the apartment while "his friends were fighting and f-changed to-ornicating."

Freddie comes in and says, "I smell cat shit but I can't find it." The cat smiles and waves of stink rise from the potted plant high on the wall.

The wars with Commander Cockroach. "Sir! Our ambassadors have been killed!"

"There's millions more where those came from." I wonder if there are millions more of Micheal or whatever his name is. Boy I missed something there, and I can hardly wait for a reappearance. I'm loaded for bear.

The time that the cat refused to eat the food and Freddie blew a hit into a paper bag, said he would administer some appetite stimulant, and the cat started eating with red eyes. "This is delicious. I think I'll start on the garbage next."

I once had a cat named Fat Freddie's Cat. She lived to be 14 and I miss her.

The time that Phineas got his comic books from Texas and opened the box. A huge Texas cockroach jumped out, with four arms. The cat decided to attack and the roach flung him about by his whiskers. I was immerded in Houston at Rice for four years and I know they're called waterbugs but if it looks like a roach and it scampers like a roach, it's a roach. Every night they would hold square dances over my bed, with a challenge caller on the weekends.

And no, I never did drink any Tee-Hee-Hee. And if I could kick my legs in the air like that, I wouldn't have needed anyone else. And I'm not that disciplined, as General Gaylord said, except in my two-fisted abuse.

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Wait... now I'm really confused... I thought the Cockroach and the Cat were Archy and Mehitebel... and they were friends... Archy was a poet and Mehitebel was the reincarnation of Cleopatra. And before someone accuses me of being stoned, I'm serious... they were these stories by this guy named Don Marquis - I think he started writing them for a newspaper and they took off and ended up being books on their own. Archy used to say, "expression is the need of my soul."... I don't know why I remember that line... they were kind of like the Robert Crumb stuff of the Nineteen... nineteen-teens, I guess... I think they were from before the 1920's... My grade six teacher gave the books to some of the kids in our class to read if we were ahead with our reading, because they were a little sophisticated for us so it required us to look things up to understand them, but they were interesting and funny enough that we wanted to... not a bad teaching strategy...

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The line I was talking about was when Fat Freddy said "Hey, I have a talking cat, wanna see? I'll ask him a question."
Fat Freddy then picks up the cat and says "Who's the Glorious Leader of the People's Republic of China?" and then pulls the cat's tail.
"MAOOOOOOO!"

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Gilbert Shelton also did the cover of Shakedown Street

<img width=500 src=https://www.gdforum.com/store/music/Rhi ... kedown.jpg>

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The Archie and Mehitibel stories were indeed by Don Marquis. Gilbert Shelton was an Austinite who fled to the Haight-Ashbury district of S.F. in the 60s and started writing underground comix [sic] for The Rip Off Press. They are hilarious. You can get them at <a href="> and <a href="https://www.ripoffpress.com">The Rip Off Press</a>. A friend found these, trashed, in the can at a roadside park, and we became hooked. The one when Fat Freddie gets quite stoned and gets the munchies and heads toward the all-night store, wielding a hatchet. Jumps through the window yelling "Kreegah!" eats everything, belches, big, and passes out on the floor. Freewheelin' Franklin and Phineas come in, load food on top of him, still passed out, mutter "Candid Camera" and walk out, with the store clerk, shell-shocked--must see the expression--does nothing.

I'm laughing now.

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Comrades! If an alien from another space-time continuum drops in, he/she/it won't have any idea what this thread is about. Even with Theocritus's clarification. He/she/it will have to go to war with this country and blow up a few things just to make up for the loss of confidence in this Universe.

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I never heard of Gilbert Shelton before, but my friend and I were drawing similar cartoons about similar characters when we were students. I guess it was in the air regardless of the country. The difference was that Gilbert Shelton could get his published while our cartoons were shown to a few closest friends and got buried somewhere in the piles of old papers. Why do people living in Haight-Ashbury hate this country is beyond me.

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Because the country is so free that they can. It is true, and almost regrettable, that the freedoms here protect our enemies. The useful idiots have as much right to undermine us verbally and socially as they want to.

That's why I am in favor of rough Texas justice, which is, er, extra-legal.

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Red Square wrote:Comrades! If an alien from another space-time continuum drops in, he/she/it won't have any idea what this thread is about. Even with Theocritus's clarification. He/she/it will have to go to war with this country and blow up a few things just to make up for the loss of confidence in this Universe.

I DID note that some sort of collektive madness was running roughshod through the Cubisphere in the last couple weeks!!! Trust the stoned one to notice...

... nobody ever pays attention to the dolphin until it's too late...

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:... nobody ever pays attention to the dolphin until it's too late...
...and then it's "So long and thanks for all the fish."


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Red Square wrote:
Sister Massively Opiated wrote:... nobody ever pays attention to the dolphin until it's too late...
...and then it's "So long and thanks for all the fish."
... Yes!... Despite those nets of tuna fleets we thought that most of you were sweet, especially tiny tots and your pregnant women...

Man... I miss Douglas Adams... and right now my Dirk Gentley books are leant out...

I have to say that when you wrote, "If an alien from another space-time continuum drops in, he/she/it won't have any idea what this thread is about." I immediately thought of Arthur Dent saying "I wouldn't want to forget my lovley towel" drifting over the table between the two warring space factions, and them becoming insulted and travelling across light years of space...

... and I often feel like both the whale and the bowl of petunias that popped into being above Magrathea... "I wonder if it will be my friend?" and "Not again..."... WHOMP!... that pretty much sums up life....

Anyhoo... see what I mean?... there's something weird going on in the Cubisphere... even the trolls aren't putting up a very good fight (some other members have noted as well)... I dunno... I dunno... I dunno... Dr. P and Betty are AWOL... Meow is restrained... Theocritus' reminiscences have taken on a slightly maudlin tone... or maybe it's simply that they are more sensible.... Margaret almost made non-nonsense the other day... Hedgehog has disappeared utterly (perhaps the babies could safely be returned to the creche!)... and Comrade Otis has become uncharacteristically forthecoming. Only Pravda is his usually upbeat and positive self, and he just got back from a vacation... What could it be? Spring fever? Too much stolen Easter/misappropriated pagan symbology chocolate? The hysterically changeable weather?

I know I haven't been much help, disappearing too often and not carrying my share of shovelling because I haven't been feeling so well, but even I've been more fractious than usual... I actually listened to seven different versions of Que Sera Sera yesterday, and enjoyed four of them..

I dunno, I dunno, I dunno... Maybe Laika is tweaking the signal and didn't let us know... hmmm... now there's a thought?

Reverend L. Space Dogged? Are there some frequency issues we should know about? Or is it, in fact, off-gassing from the new pews in the Church of Climatology?

... and I just realized, O'Brien is AWOL as well...

As for suitable Goreman Gear, what about SPF 385 Sunscreen?...

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I do happen to be "restrained" at the moment... this new jacket is giving me a run for my money (and I can't have that). Please, SMO, help me loosen up the buckles on the back so I can get out of this damn thing and return it to Her Grace, The Madam Speaker.

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I do happen to be "restrained" at the moment... this new jacket is giving me a run for my money (and I can't have that). Please, SMO, help me loosen up the buckles on the back so I can get out of this damn thing and return it to Her Grace, The Madam Speaker.
Sorry Meow,
You got yourself into this one... shoulda read up on self-tightening body cuffs before you decided to play with Her Grace... Might I suggest Midori's Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage... I learned a few escape tricks from that one, though there might be some chafing...

... tell you what... you get out of it, and I'll have Chicken Sushi put a little salve on those scrapes and bruises... Midori's book is available on Amazon, though I suggest purchasing a 'fresh' copy... used is nice and all, but I'm not sure that's the kind of 'used' I want to handle... And if you still can't get out... well... the photographs are beautiful...

S.M.O.

p.s... maybe next time you'll remember to listen when I tell you to make sure you've got a 'safe word' picked out... she's a wiley one, is The Madam... I hate to repeat myself, especially across posts, but ... nobody ever pays attention to the dolphin until it's too late...

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:I actually listened to seven different versions of Que Sera Sera yesterday, and enjoyed four of them..

AHHHHHHHHH! That's it. I quit. Up is down and right is left and Reagan was a commie! And...I love Cher! I'm going to buy Cher album! I'm going to get Harley leather pants and rip them in the back and hump myself on a huge mock gun barrel while Abba's Dancing Queens sashay around me while I sing through a stovepipe I've had surgically implanted on my nose! Seven versions of "Que sera, sera!?!?

And I used bank marks and question marks together. Tiwce. The End is Nigh... And I'm not correcting my spelling!

Actually, until my Doris Day meltdown, occasioned by the memory of Ms. Gruber belting out that thing while Alfred Hitchcock has his finger on the trigger of a gun daring her not to ham it too much, I was in a good mood, hence my retreat into being maudlin.

I'm finishing up a five-day vacation, having just dined very well on the San Antonio River Walk, having gotten some nice pictures for my gigabyte affer gigabyte of desktop pictures, which change every 30 seconds, and was mellow. And I was gently, ever so gently, resolving myself into inserting myself back into the Madding Moron Crowd tomorrow, where the morons in serried ranks assemble. At least this time I don't have to deal with Countrywide Home Loans

But...Seven..I can't stand it...I'm 11 floors above the river in San Antonio. Good by, cruel world...

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Can I have your Personal Troll-72 when you jump?

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I decided not to jump on recollection of something that happened tonight. I was looking at some blown glass to put in the new house, and then went to dine on the river walk. I asked a cop for the direction to Boudro's (very good, by the way), and he was talking with a young, tall, fit, handsome man. Neither knew where it was.

The young man looked at me, sized me up, looked at the buldge in my pants--I carry my wallet in my front pocket as it's harder to pick--and did a flounce of availability. He said, "I don't know but I can find out and I'll go with you. I need to go there."

I smiled at both and said it had to be downstream, for it wasn't upstream, and left. I wanted to buy some glass, not some ass.

True story. And if he's the troll, you can have him. Very handsome, very stupid, and very available. Living, no doubt, on the kindness of strangers. But sad, you know, to be expected now to pay for it. I consider it another way--he was a good credit manager. Yes. That's it. Whew. A little harsh reality there, Steve Dallas (Bloom County by Berke Brethed, another Austinite.) Back to the cube and flogging the serfs.

I wonder if I could hire that young man to come on to Our Empress? I'd give anything to hear her emit a girlish squeal and giggle. Probably register on the Richter scale.

I've got it! We could make him a licensed operator of the Hildo 7.1 Hydra. You'd need someone who'se seen what he's seen, or worked car wrecks.

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Well, killed another thread, I see.

Watch my smoke on capitalism.

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You still haven't killed as many as I have...

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This internal company email just came in!!!

Finally! My employer is no longer a Global Warming Denier!!!!


-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxx
Sent: Monday, April 16, 2007 9:03 PM
Subject: Earth Day is coming to xxxxx Reston!

Earth Day is coming to xxxxx Reston!
Have some fun and learn how you can help change the world.

Exhibits and presentations include:
* Live presentations of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth
* Learn about Fairfax County's new recycling laws
* Tree saplings to take home and plant
* Free Ice cream
* And much more!

Earth Day: Thursday, April 19
xxxx xxxx xxxx Drive
xxxxx


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Notice the look of shock on Algore's face, and the position of his hands. Was he caught pleasuring himself? Or did he just find it? The real one, that is.

Gospodin Blokhayev, I may be a pervert but nothing in my makeup, no venue that I frequented, nothing that I've done, can possibly prepare me to take your memo seriously J'accuse.

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I hope everyone's standard-Party-issue shovel is sharpened and in good repair! Earth Day draws near, comrades... and to miss the Earth Day celebrations is to spit in the face of Lenin himself! So be there.... or suffer the consequences... which is a mild flogging... oh, and being rolled around in soiled diapers... the biodegradable kind (I know, I shudder at the thought also! I Shudder!).

I personally will have to miss the festivities... I.... Uhhh... I have a doctor's note excusing me... I uhh... I pulled a muscle at the last soiree with Dr. P and several European models. Umm… yeah… <scurries away>

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Meow, my goons know where you are. You forget that I have an inside line to every single hair parlor on earth, and the entire FBI doesn't have the information-gathering ability of five gossiping queens.

We'll get you and you'll plant those damned trees. Or if you don't, you'll plant something else, something you were born with, in Rosie O'Donnell.

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Do I have to work in the fields like a common peasant too? What if my sensitive allergies cause me to have a reaction to being outside in the pollen infested air working with plants that are still spreading even more pollen? I wanna doctor's note too!

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Betsky,

Of course not... please note my post in the Assicons Blog section regarding your future. I believe you will require shades... in fact, if Algore (GWBUH) is korrect (as he MUST be), your future is so bright, you will actually require a firesuit such as this...

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... though perhaps it should be considered for the official Church of Climatology Uniform - not forgetting the Cubicifix that should be prominantly visible on both the chest and helmet-front areas, of course...

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Cool... ooh, maybe I can invent a HEV (Hazardous Environment) suit like in Half Life! It would go great with the ASP-1! (Assault Poodle Rifle-Model 1)

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Which leads me to wonder... do you think the firesuits are poodle-proof... I mean, non-jacketed poodles... obviously fully-jacketed poodles will go through anything... damned Geneva convention...

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Well, that depends on the fire suit. Is it made of Peoples Aluminum Foil™, or Peoples Titanium Fabric™?


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They are indeed the same thing... only we make more $$$ selling.. errhmm... rationing the People's Titanium Fabric™ (proles are too stupid to see the difference, we can thank Academia for that!)

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We go for the People's Titanium Fabric, of course. The major world supply of Titanium is in Russia--our ideological home. (Except for those Chicoms--kill one and an hour later you want to kill another. Won't stick to the trigger finger.)

Aluminium, sorry, those damned Crown Jewels in the Tower again--do you know how nice it is to put Victoria's small bow crown on your feet surrounded by the prison, er hospital, of enemies of the state? Aluminum, there, that's better, would only enrich that enemy of the People, Alcoa. And the chairman is being difficult now; he won't give me his corporate jet, for mercy missions of course. But since Doctors without Frontiers are incapable of appreciating that teak furniture--all that slogging in the swamps, you know--I'll let them have my old Piper Cub.

So it's titanium, and not aluminium, er, aluminum, for the People.

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Hotel places Gore's global warming book in night stand instead of Bible...

All worship the Goremon religion!

Bloomberg News wrote:April 27 (Bloomberg) -- Visitors to the Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Spa won't find the Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer. Instead, on the bureau will be a copy of ``An Inconvenient Truth,'' former Vice President Al Gore's book about global warming.

They'll also find the Gaia equipped with waterless urinals, solar lighting and recycled paper as it marches toward becoming California's first hotel certified as ``green,'' or benevolent to the environment. Similar features are found 35 miles south at San Francisco's Orchard Garden Hotel, which competes for customers with neighboring luxury hotels like the Ritz-Carlton and Fairmont.

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And His glory reaches further. The Hilton Palacio del Rio in San Antonio has a toilet with two buttons, and a large self-righteous sign telling you to push the left button for pee and the right button for poop. Neither one works the first time.

But all hail to their conservation for I own water rights in the Edwards Aquifer and these toilets use more than regular ones that need be flushed only once, and I have a controlling interest in the company which makes the toilets, and get Hilton Honors points to boot.

Also let us consider the very term Gaia--a pagan one. Milton Himmelfarb in <i>Jews and Gentiles</i> notes that the massacres of the last century were done by pagan societies. And he's right--pagan societies in general have a priest class which finds human blood necessary.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Also let us consider the very term Gaia--a pagan one. Milton Himmelfarb in Jews and Gentiles notes that the massacres of the last century were done by pagan societies. And he's right--pagan societies in general have a priest class which finds human blood necessary.

By that standard, then Bushitler is a pagan. Look at all the progressive dictators that have either died or been imprisoned during his tenure. Saddam: Dead. Milosivic: Dead. Charles Taylor: In Jail at The Hague.

Come to think of it, Bushitler DOES remind me of the ancient Sumerian demon Anzu. Anybody up for a little "Inquest"?
--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
Grand Inquisitor of the Reformed Church of Latter Day Climatology. (The Goremons)

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No, no, no! Those dead people were Brothers from a Different Mother™. The pagans only murdered innocent people.

You know, I really will have to look into Sumerian gods. So far I've been satisfied with the plain old Egyptian ones, and their schisms; and there are lesser known things in Hades of interest. And you'ld think that the Neirids and Nymphs were rather cuddly and nice, but watch out; you can't believe what they can do with water.

But for sheer blood-thirst let's never forget the Aztecs. Why even now their influence is felt. Have you seen the Pontiac Aztek? A vehicle so ugly that you dispair of ever seeing a pretty car again. It is uglier than a 1975 Cadillic Seville with the slope-ass in lavender and puce, with a fake tire hump and a half vinyl roof. Really.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:But for sheer blood-thirst let's never forget the Aztecs. Why even now their influence is felt. Have you seen the Pontiac Aztek? A vehicle so ugly that you dispair of ever seeing a pretty car again. It is uglier than a 1975 Cadillic Seville with the slope-ass in lavender and puce, with a fake tire hump and a half vinyl roof. Really.

I know of one even uglier. The 1991-1996 Chevrolet Caprice Classic. Oh the humanity!!! That car was so ugly, many in the 65+ year old crowd that it was marketed to, expired upon seeing it. After hundreds of lawsuits in which GM paid out millions, GM exiled the designer to a re-edukation kamp in the northern part of the People's Socialist Republic of Canuckistan. (formerly called Canada).

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

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Where I live it is high fashion to take an old car and torch the springs. Add neon lights under it which shine on the ground, and when it rains here, which is virtually never, for this is the desert, there is no drainage--no sewerage. I have seen said low-riders drown out trying to cross a street, with the doors open, the water flowing through the car.

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I have seen said low-riders drown out trying to cross a street, with the doors open, the water flowing through the car.

Reminds me of those competitions they have at the rock crawler events where the trucks try to drive over a pond hydroplaning the whole time. The wheels actually skip off the top of the water and because the trucks are so light, they can cross without sinking... usually. That would be one way to cross big puddles in the street.

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I have a theory that the bigger and flashier and taller that a vehicle is, the more the driver is wanting to fool us with what's behind his zipper. I myself drive an Acura TL. My brother got a Porsche 944 in 1982 and was driving down the street and a young man with a new car, insured with Minimum Comprehensive Insurance, and you may guess what MCI was thought to stand for, saw it and could not stand this fellow in a new Porsche when he thought he had the flashiest car in this small town. It was a Buick Strassenkreutzer, of use only to the dealer who sold it. The young man gunned it and zipped down the road, and Mark, who drove his Porsche like an old man, came round a curve in this, the biggest street in town, which has only one curve, and found the car had torn off the front quarter panel, not being able to navigate that shallow curve.

He might have done damage to the pole, but our father was at the time manager of the power company and had tired of people doing this and had replaced all of the light poles with drill stems--those are oilfield pipes with very small holes, and as much weight as possible to get them down the oil hole, set in 15' of concrete. When a car or truck wrapped itself around the pole, they had to repaint the pole. I come by my insistence on personal responsibility honestly.

The MCI was called into play. Still funny after 25 years.

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:
... and I just realized, O'Brien is AWOL as well...


I too have similar thoughts, SMO. Something ominous in the air.....

By the pricking of my thumbs
Something wicked this way comes....

(Shakespere MacBeth Act IV Scene I)

That, I think sums it up.

Fear not though, I am still around. Time is a little crunched as I was laid off at the end of March so most of my time is devoted to seeking gainful employment.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

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<img src=https://images.dailykos.com/images/admi ... d_wads.jpg>

The Daily Kos geniuses have started their own version of Wikipedia - apparently to counteract established facts and objective reality with their own set of facts and with their own attempt to create an alternative progressive reality.

And in that reality The People's Cube is taking its well-deserved place. They already have a small article on Global Warming Wager and reference the Cube as the most PC source of opinions for progressive liberals.

Global Warming Wager

https://www.dkosopedia.com/wiki/Global_Warming_Wager

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Ah. Global warming. Any claim that cannot be falsified is a weak one, cf Popper. But Global Warming can be disproved. I love that. The Big Lie, brought to AmeriKKKa.

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Esteemed leader, while I would by no means try and dispute the brilliant argument you have presented, in case you have been advised by traitors inside headquarters, I would point out that while the argument that should we believe no that global warming does not exist, and in fact it does, then I would submit that while there would be less wealth to be redistributed, it does not follow that we would have less control over the masses. After all, an earth blistering in the capitalist caused heat would also mean that the masses would be more dependent on the coming glorious state to provide them water and beets to survive. It is after all better to control in hell than to serve in an alleged capitalistic paradise. If I am in error thinking, I will of course submit to reeducation gladly.

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Comrade Puperinko, I do understand your logic and it is utterly right. Recall that when marginal rates were lowered under Coolidge, Kennedy, Reagan and Bush 43, revenues increased and the wealthy paid more. But the point is of course telling people what to do. And I congratulate the politicization of education for it ensures that children cannot think and therefore cannot understand things. It's always better for us to have people snarl in their ideology, and refuse to consider any facts, than to have someone say that the Emperor has no clothes.

I am now meeting with our esteemed comrades in the DNC to make it a thoughtcrime to tell the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. It plants a very bad idea. Instead we shall have fables of piety in which worker drones sacrifice each other to the common good. And I then plan on selective breeding.

When I find a strong, but stupid, man, I will collect his sperm and then castrate him--possibly what the Arabs call a clean eunuch--nothing at all between his legs. I shall do that to all men, for capons grow big and they don't spend as much time looking for sex. I figure that I can get about 25% more productivity out of them. I'll also sterilize the women with narrow pelvises. They will not, of course, be able to bear their own children: in vitro fertilization will insure a steady stream of workers.

All the bright ones will be sterilized. And the competent. Ask Comrade Stalin. What a man. I'm getting turned on by it now. For the Party, that <i>is</i> sex.

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As I have said many times, "you can lead a liberal to the facts, but you can not make them think." Therefore, we need not worry about these weak minded, spineless Amerikan liberals being exposed to facts. They are anxious to believe any fable the Party wishes to feed them that will lead them down the path the Party can use to bring about the glorious world revolution that will bring an end to the need for such useful idiots. They can of course be useful in building great "Peoples Projects" that will bring glory to the State.

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And it does not hurt that since they loathe themselves, assuming guilt whenever possible, they will be eager to fall into line. I'm quite sure the Judas goat is very happy.

Do you know if there are going to be any government issued CCCP's available for the working people of this soon to be Great Socialist Union of States of America? Because, quite frankly, with all the global warming that has been going on this summer, particularly in my little town, the extortionist rates charged by my local KKKapitilast pig energy fascists is almost compelling me to invest my my hard earned, but megre, wages in their product (and we all know how counter-revolutioary that thought is).
Just wondering if there is a program available to usurp the profiteers.
LONG LIVE THE GSUSA!

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Comrade cr8ive1970, welcome to the Cube. The first thing that you need to know is that you never need to worry about the cost of anything. It may come out of your pocket for a little while, but that will only goad you to further exertions on the part of the Little People™. And it is well known that money extracted from the bourgeoisie has a habit of sticking to the fingers of those who used threats and menaces to get it.

Never lose sight of the fact that it is always the fault of white, heterosexual males. They are to blame for everything. If you have a pimple on your ass, it's George Bush's fault.

No matter what we do, nothing bad is our fault. No matter what anyone does that is good, we get the credit for. This alone explains Nansky Peloski.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:And it does not hurt that since they loathe themselves, assuming guilt whenever possible, they will be eager to fall into line. I'm quite sure the Judas goat is very happy.

Verily, when the history of this era is written, or shall I say, approved by the Party, it will show there were many Judas goats that will have proven useful in leading the masses to our glorious People's Utopia.

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The true beauty of the Judas goat is that after his work is done, he feeds the workers at the abattoir. How do you like your cabrito barbecued, comrade?

Ah. I remember fools from the KKKapitalist USA who saw the empty center lanes in major Moscow streets for the limousines of the Nomenclatura. These fools thought they'd be in those lanes, and were so busy that they did not see the drunks, frozen in the snow, just behind them. I hope that they still enjoyed the sight of the center lanes when they saw them from the snow.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah. I remember fools from the KKKapitalist USA who saw the empty center lanes in major Moscow streets for the limousines of the Nomenclatura. These fools thought they'd be in those lanes, and were so busy that they did not see the drunks, frozen in the snow, just behind them. I hope that they still enjoyed the sight of the center lanes when they saw them from the snow.

A quite astute observation Commissar. Those imperialist idiots who had the gall to point to those quite necessary lanes for use by the Nomenktaltura are incapable of understanding the simplest of ideas, that we are all equal, just some are more equal than others. One day those imperialist fools will be laying the stones for these roads. But this too will be for their good.

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They may have the honor of <i>being</i> under the pavers. That is if I don't need them for my knock-off Wedgwood bone china. Available only to Party Members and special favored guests like Hugo Chavez and Teddy Kennedy.

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I have no doubt that Kennedy will be part of the pavement. Sure he has been useful, but it has about reached it's limits. The problem with these openly liberal politicians in the US is that the people can see who they are, and those who actually try to use their brains reject them. In many ways, it is the outwardly strict conservative that ultimately could be of more benefit since while they may speak openly of their love for alleged freedom, self sufficiency and responsibility, their steadfast work in their war against terror and the build up of an intelligence structure that we will need, could ultimately be of more use to us. Now do feel free to correct me if I am in error comrade. What I fear most is thought crime, and worry at times that some stray, erroneous thought could enter my thinking.

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There is by definition no such thing as erroneous thought for a Party Member. If the Party Member commits a thoughtcrime, then Orwell's injunction is swift: thoughtcrime is death. And then the Party Member will be excised, with a razor blade as the Soviet encyclopedia did, from the people's memory to become an Unperson.

The secret, which I tell you in camera, is to stab as many Party Members in the back as possible. The strong survive.

And you have presented a new wrinkle about the intelligence gathering needed by the war on terror. As you know, many states in the Motherland, especially the southwestern ones, have large Muslim populations, who form a source of people quite willing to die for Allah or their perception of Allah. They cannot be dissuaded from that. But why not let the conservatives and the Muslims duke it out and then we finish off the weakened survivor? Minimal loss of blood and just think of the fun we'll have giggling over satellite pictures of destroyed tanks. The loss of materiel is lamentable for we cannot use it.

Wait! I can sell the scrap to Mexico, and the Mexicans will rehab it and turn it into farm vehicles. They're very good at that.

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You are most wise indeed, and clearly one of such great intellect and strength would easily fend off any attempts at sabotage by weaker Party members. Just always remember that glorious proverb from the Mother country...

“I need not fear my enemies because the most they can do is attack me. I need not fear my friends because the most they can do is betray me. But I have much to fear from people who are indifferent.”

I have upon reflection felt I was misleading when I was referring to the usefulness of conservatives. Clearly the true conservative is a threat and must be dealt with, harshly. What I really meant was that I believe the openly liberal idiots such as Kennedy et al, are of far less use than those who openly claim to be a conservative, and have the cover background that can give them some alleged credentials. For instance, who is more useful in the end, Ted Kennedy whose primitive liberal thoughts are so well known as to be tiring, or say John McCain who can claim to be a conservative and has a cover of once being a guest of the People's Republic of N Vietnam's hospitality? He and other, I believe they are called "RINO's" in the imperialist press, have done much to further our cause while at the same time claiming to be a "moderating" force. Truly they will be of much more practical use than those amateur liberals who don't know when to keep their mouth shut.

Of course I agree with you that the military remains of the conflict between the capitalist forces and the Islamic fascists would be of little use, especially since they are far inferior to the excellent peace keeping "tools" that are produced by the glorious people working together in our motherland. But my comrades in the intelligence organs, can make great use of their databases and other aggressive spying technologies.

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Comrade Puperinko wrote:I need not fear my enemies because the most they can do is attack me. I need not fear my friends because the most they can do is betray me. But I have much to fear from people who are indifferent

Indeed. One who does not care for you cannot be controlled. Tiberius said, "Let them hate me as long as they fear me." This about the time he was living on Capri in one of his villas, with young boys trained to swim in the pool with him and lick his balls. He called them his little minnows.

I think that we have a use for John McCain. Never forget that he's high maintenance, with a huge ego, and no patience, but he has that wonderful quality of being goddamned bossy, sort of a Ross Perot who actually made it into office. Of course he would have to be controlled, to ensure his following the party line, but how can you not love the man who was part author of McCain-Feingold, and the Wetback Amnesty Bill.

Of course we must work with him, because once he asked why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? "Because Janet Reno is her father." The Sibyl at Delphi could not do better.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Indeed. One who does not care for you cannot be controlled.

Well, I must point out that even those who do not care for us can, and will be controlled. The only problem with that is the cost of the diesel and gunpowder that takes food from the peoples plate. Of course such fools would also make great fodder for the recreation that you mentioned earlier.

Verily McCain and his cohorts have been of great use these past few years. What a wonderful job he did with his "gang of seven." Why, that even has a good socialist ring to it doesn't it?

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Comrade Puperinko wrote: Verily McCain and his cohorts have been of great use these past few years. What a wonderful job he did with his "gang of seven." Why, that even has a good socialist ring to it doesn't it?

Oh Comrade Puper, you are new to The Party and have not been privy to the discussions of the Poliburo™ as to our future plans for such an excellent useful idiot like McCain.

On the remote chance (with emphasis on the word remote) that he succeed in stealing the RethugliKKKan Presidential nomination, we are going to have him select for his V.P. running mate, that Hero of the Un-washed Masses, Hugo Chavez!!! What a dynamic powerhouse that duo would be! Why, Our Many Tittied Empress (HRC) will win by a glorious landslide. We have already approached Chavez about this opportunity when we sent actor and champion of Socialism, Sean Penn, to Venezuela to talk to Chavez about our plans.

Over the years Sean has done an excellent job at keep alive the Dream of a Marxist-Leninist AmeriKKKa and he has worked tirelessly to destroy the morale of our troops in Iraq thus quickening AmeriKKKa's defeat in Iraq.

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
Grand Inquisitor for the Reformed Church of Latter Day Climatologists (The Goremons) and Party Kommissar for Margaritas.


--

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While it is true that I have not been privy to the discussions of the Central Committee, as a former member of the Kanine Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti I have a nose for such things, so I had long ago deduced much of these plans. The Pup has had his paw in much of what is going on behind the scenes, both in his former pursuits, and his sideline work. Please excuse the Pup's capitalistic wardrobe, it comes in handy when dealing with my unknowing clients as they provide me great intel which of course I can use against them in service to the party. Personally, give me a fine peasent jacket anytime.<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickp ... ter-vi.gif">

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I have thought of a new weapon of mass destruction. We take a picture of Sean Piñon Penn, snarling, thinking that he looks cool, and a picture of Our Many Titted Empress Hillary when someone tells her that Ronald Reagan wrote his own addresses--totally untrue you know for Ronald Reagan had no brain and the Reagan Whitehouse was a bunch of Stepford clothes horses and their policies were written by monkeys on typewriters.

We hire take over Crown Center in Kansas City, the kitsch capital of the universe, and force them to make a card with Señor Piñon's snarl on the right side and Hillary's face, a chainsaw in her hand, on the other, and the little electronic thing plays ABBA's "Money, money, money." That will cause mass suicide.

Pup, there is no reason not to enjoy fine Saville Row tailoring; I have quite a wardrobe of myself. And I also have an extremely fine wallet made of Romanoff skin. I love Capitalists. Someone has to do the work.


 
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