In 2007 the honor of New York's first-baby-of-the-year is being disputed between Odunayo Muhammed born of recent Nigerian immigrants, and Yuki Lin born of recent Chinese immigrants. Minutes after their birth the babies are already doing the jobs that Americans won't take. That's because this generation of Americans is fleeing from making babies, as if childbearing equates with cancerous tumors or internal parasites. They believe that just like everything else in their lives, fetuses should be left to professionals.
Other notable areas of American lives delegated to professionals include mass media, academia, and trivial entertainment industries that leave no room for amateurish excuses for capitalism, individualism, free markets, and personal responsibility. Many agree that everything we see in the papers, on the TV and movie screens, or hear in lecture halls, must be filtered, selected, and double-checked for compliance with the formula developed by expert gurus - lest the audiences go astray and develop such inept and unscientific notions as family, tradition, and self-reliance, which might lead them to absorb amateurish opinions offered by unprofessional bloggers or worse.
Such a system ensures the fastest and easiest track towards a brave progressive society where nobody needs, nor is allowed, to think unprofessionally. If you are not a specialist, you cannot have any thoughts unless they came from an approved professional TV network, where trained experts feed you an easy and acceptable diet of correct opinions, and are ready to help you make a correct life choice based on advice from the best professional elites ever to be approved for public consumption.
This becomes possible when Americans delegate their voting rights to professional voting organizations (e.g., Acorn) who employ the services of professional vagrants, unregistered aliens, and voting necro-proxies to make sure that elections are won only by correctly trained politicians who know what's good for the untrained masses. While there still are amateur voters who prefer to cast their own ballots, their choices often depend on professionally prepared opinion polls, media campaigns, political consultants, public advocacy groups, and the New York Times - a newspaper whose expert staff of media professionals can only be matched by that of Pravda.
It is no coincidence that after a ridiculously amateurish Republican streak, the Capitol Hill is once again controlled by the Party of trained professionals. If you haven't already guessed, last week's inauguration picture of Speaker Pelosi towering over a group of children was an expertly conceived subliminal message signaling the correct relationship between the Democratic Party's professional leadership and the little American people who need a strong but caring hand of a knowledgeable chaperone to guide them through their small, inept lives.
There is a big chance that the two baby New Yorkers, Odunayo Muhammed and Yuki Lin, will have no children of their own. They may never marry, vote, think, read books, make choices, nor have independent opinions. Having been professionally raised by public school specialists, and having learned about life from all the correct channels, they are likely to delegate all difficult chores to professionals.
Ideally, in the future all those chores will be performed by the best specialists one can ever imagine: robots. Robots will vote, reproduce, think, decide on policies, make choices and take responsibility for them - so the masses won't have to. Robots may even write satirical articles with photoshopped images and post them on the Internet - and since professional education for the masses will be likely to exclude reading skills, those articles will also be read by robots.
The People's Cube wishes you a happy, progressive, highly specialized, and professional new year!
|SPEAKER PELOSIBOT™ - A HOUSE-SITTING ROBOT THAT SPEAKS!|
The Speaker Pelosi Robot, or Pelosibot™, whose name translates roughly to "Give Me Control of the House and I Will Turn Your Children Into a Power Source," can speak 10,000 words and will House-sit for you, provided you let it have coronation parties sometimes. Designed and sold by the DNC, this caring robot overlord can be programmed to remind oldsters about their medication or report back on doings around the House of Representatives. Pelosibot is being powered by an embedded Groupthink microchip, with an open source component for further hammer/sickle/light saber/chainsaw attachment upgrades.
This excellent new robot, unusually molded and colorfully decorated, with a particularly evil grin, is working hard to stand up for Women's Rights in an undoubtedly male-dominated area. She ambles along with a rolling gait when wound, and has a start-stop lever built into her belt. Every few paces she raises her arms and says "It's all for the children!" with light flashing through her eyes and head panel. Unfortunately her promising-looking antenna doesn't do anything.
Laika the Space DogAre you sure that isn't a K-Tel Demco Impeachamatic Popeil Pocket Pelosibot?
Quote:These items are NOT CHILDREN'S PLAYTHINGS and do not comply with Toy Safety Legislation - for adult collectors only.
Quote:Ideally, in the future all those chores will be performed by the best specialists one can ever imagine: robots. Robots will vote, reproduce, think, decide on policies, make choices and take responsibility for them - so the masses won't have to. Robots may even write satirical articles with photoshopped images and post them on the Internet - and since professional education for the masses will be likely to exclude reading skills, those articles will also be read by robots.
Quote:and diesel dykes,
Quote:I for would would recommend Atomic Balm, which was a preparation containing something I rubbed on the base of football players' spines while a trainer in 8th grade football.
Quote:(by the way, is Bill looking forward to being in the White House again? Are both of you going to bring back all the "w" keys on the computers in the White House?)
Quote:a medicine which would cure AIDS,
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