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 | On the heels of James Cameron's discovery of a tomb with the remains of Jesus came an announcement by talk radio host Rush Limbaugh that he had discovered a coffin with the remains of another historical character that many social scientists consider a mythical creature - the Rugged Individual. But while Mr. Cameron's findings strike at the heart of the basic tenets of backward-looking Christianity, Mr. Limbaugh's discovery is meant to strike at the very heart of progressive faith that denies the existence of a self-sufficient Individual who can survive without the government handouts, regulations, and oversight. |
Limbaugh said Monday that he is in possession of tangible, physical, archaeological, and forensic evidence that the Rugged Individual once roamed the fruited plane and was buried several miles away from San Francisco's Mission District, underneath an apartment complex. "He was totally self-sufficient and did not depend on any centralized government," declared Limbaugh, whose claim is being dismissed in progressive circles as nothing more than a publicity stunt.
"Assertion that the so-called Rugged Individual could exist on the West Coast or anywhere else in America - independently of the government, without health insurance, minimum wage regulations, FDA standards, and union protection - is a ridiculous and unscientific invention," says Howard Zinn, Professor Emeritus in the Political Science Department at Boston University. "Everybody knows that Rugged Individuals never lived in that area, and that pioneers who settled in California were all collectivist hippies who lived in communes, received welfare checks, and worshipped the Common Good™."
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Limbaugh insists that he is not a revisionist historian; he is only reporting facts. "It's a fact that the Rugged Individual once lived in America and settled the West," the controversial commentator said. "He used to be free and morally upright. He spoke his mind without fear of persecution. He ran his own business the way he saw fit. He raised his own children according to his own values. He owned property that he earned with his own hands, and he used a gun to protect that property from thieves. These are facts. So what I'm saying is, hey, world, pay attention. First let's discuss the facts and then let's see their implications on progressive ideology."
Social scientists are widely and roundly rejecting these claims. Some are dismissing them as a ploy backed by corporations to pervert the truth. "The whole progressive movement has faced this since the day Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto," writes one scholar in a letter to San Francisco Chronicle. "Limbaugh needs to go back to college and take a standard course in political science," writes another scholar. "Our whole philosophy is based on the impossibility of Rugged Individualism. I have no plans to give this discovery any publicity within the walls of my college."
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Others compared Limbaugh's findings to the one made by James Cameron in Jerusalem: "At least the discovery of the Christ family bears all marks of scientific proof - the inscriptions of the names that match the bones of Jesus, Mary, their son Judas, and their dog Snowball, which many scientists agree was a common dog name in Judea at the time. In contrast, Limbaugh's alleged finding is a blatant attempt to cash in on a sensationalist bandwagon."
Yet another group of scholars, while not denying the existence of the remains, were quick to search the local archives for documents proving that the cost for Rugged Individual's burial had been subsidized by the government, and that in his early twenties he had received a welfare check for three weeks while being unemployed.
News networks also maintained a level of skepticism. Over on CNN, Lou Dobbs prefaced a segment on the subject by observing, "If these claims are true, and many people doubt they are, that raises questions about the progressive assertion that Rugged Individualism is a capitalist myth and that the only moral way for humans to exist is by abandoning private property, sacrificing personal interests to the Common Good™, and living off kind handouts from the benevolent central government. 
Personally I like the utopian blueprints better."
The final word in this debate belongs to the former Vice President Al Gore who said, "The main function of the government is to reduce every person's footprint on this planet. So even if the Rugged Individual existed he should've been wiped out anyway, for the sake of saving the planet."
Today, we humans are considerably more evolved. As such, Rugged Individuals have long been extinct because the need for their role in a society ended in 1917.
Perhaps Swine Limbaugh and James Cameron can be "taught" to swap Tofu recipes.
--
No worries, comrades - the Fairness Doctrine will silence this cigar-smoking enemy of progress soon. It is the will of The Party™. Now if you'll excuse me; I have to cash in these Eco-Credits for that new Corvette I've been wanting.
James Cameron finds tomb of Jesus family, buries career inside.
Scholars and archaeologists were shamed today as the Academy Award winning director and People's Hero corrected prior assumptions about 27 year old Israeli find.
"Not only was Jesus married, the evidence strongly suggests he was also a slave-owning global-warmer," James Cameron said today. "When the experts get it wrong, we with money must get it right. The 'larger truth' demands it."
Skeptics worry that movie makers doing archaeology could lead to an obfuscation of the facts for profit or power - the logical end of which could lead to politicians doing climatology.
The educational news story above makes perfectly clear that the very existence of "Rugged Individual" is scientifically impossible and is nothing but a ploy by big corporations relayed by the notorious propagandist and class enemy Limbaugh. Why start the debate unless you doubt (or maybe even DENY) the findings of progressive science? Are you a DENIER? Please don't become a tool of bourgeois propaganda, a useful idiot and a puppet in the hands of the man behind the curtain (who is a White Christian Male, no doubt).
As our Green fellow travelers like to say, "The debate is over."
Red Square
As our Green fellow travelers like to say, "The debate is over."Yes the debate is over. Don't be like this former party member. The tone of the article is correct, but the "factual errors" tend to show that the EGB walks the walk that FLAG (Fearless Leader Al Gore) talks. Unforgivable.
http://www.commondreams.org/views01/0429-03.htm
Are you referring to the Sioux who were killing the Cherokee who were caught up in a centuries old battle with the Apaches who were almost wiped out by the Iroquois who vowed to kill every last Navajo?
If so, I couldn't agree more.
Peace through surveillance,
bohemianlikeyou
Red Square
Why start the debate unless you doubt (or maybe even DENY) the findings of progressive science? Are you a DENIER?*pops head up from glass of Pravda*
Huh? Wha? Did someone say 'Denier'?
*sniffs*
Methinks I smell a dissident......
FERRETS!! To me! We have a thoughtcriminal in our midsts that needs a good heaping dose of reeducation!!
Ha ha!!
O'Brien
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
bohemianlikeyou
Comrade Bell,Are you referring to the Sioux who were killing the Cherokee who were caught up in a centuries old battle with the Apaches who were almost wiped out by the Iroquois who vowed to kill every last Navajo?
Comrade bohemianlikeyou,
Native Americans are an oppressed people that were the victims of centuries of genocide inflicted upon them by the bouguois White Christian Males.
Native American peoples did NOT make war with one another. They lived in peace amongst themselves and in harmony with nature.
You are treading dangerously close to committing a thoughtcrime.
Now you must pardon me. I must get back to washing my 4WD SUV.
--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
Quote:
Native American peoples did NOT make war with one another. They lived in peace amongst themselves and in harmony with nature.You are treading dangerously close to committing a thoughtcrime.
Comrade Blokhayev,
Yes! By "fighting" I meant only that the Native Americans had many spirited non-violent rivalries within the context of peaceful inter-tribal games designed to celebrate the vibrant tapestry of diversity found among the 500 different nations.
(It's from this wonderful tradition that game hacky sack was born, by the way.)
It was the white man who arrested this development with violence, competition, and disease.
In summary, I will wash your 4WD SUV and clean one of your 27,000 Sq. ft. homes if you do not report me.
Peace through shame,
bohemianlikeyou
If I had only seen how his influence would spread. So many dissidents have sprung up because of his insolence. Hannity, Coulter, Drudge. All these who are inciting the people against the State. If only these people understood what they lost when the Bundesrat denied me my place next to Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, and Clooney when they ixnayed my plans to control, I mean assist the People with my Universal Health Care. Imagine!! Databases filled with all their vital information! Access to their bank accounts, private secrets! Oh the blackmail we could have.....oops. Did I just say that? No!! No I didn't! Because it depends on what you mean by "say"!!
I will find out who is to blame for this. It could not have been me, for nothing that has ever happened around me is my fault. I BLAME BUSH!!!!!!!!!
bohemianlikeyou
Comrade Bell,Native Americans are an oppressed people that were the victims of centuries of genocide inflicted upon them by the bouguois White Christian Males.
Native American peoples did NOT make war with one another. They lived in peace amongst themselves and in harmony with nature.
You are treading dangerously close to committing a thoughtcrime.
Now you must pardon me. I must get back to washing my 4WD SUV.
--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
At last,
Some like minded komrades with whom to share my political experience from down under. Australia was the land of peace-loving Aborigine communities before we destroyed it with Imperialist Colonial Invasion bringing our western diseases, and stealing all of their children, using the excuse of "we found them on the side of the road and assumed nobody wanted them".
Thanks to my revitalised Greens Party, and the occasional help from Germaine Greer, we have re-kindled the rugged Aussie's lost quest for new levels of self-loathing. You can see some of my achievements here
As we all know, the Kristian movement, who has oppressed womyn in ways that would make our Aussie Muslim Comrades squirm, has finally succumbed to the reality of revisionist history. Our beloved intelligentsia were most recently lead by the great Dan Brown (pbuh-no relation), in proving that an old, overdone, systematically de-bunked "controversial theory which will rock Christianity to it's very core" can be repackaged and sold again. And again.
It's like going to the Alzheimer's ward in an old folks home and charging $50 every night to tell them the same story.
Providing, of course, that the wealth is re-distributed.
Excuse me, I must go now and lead the charge against kapitalist Prime Mover Jon Howitzer and make him stop calling the oppressed freedom fighters Hamas a "terrorist organisation"
-Beezelbob Brown
Australian comrades have collaborated with our group in the past very successfully. May I interest you in the following links? You might find familiar faces...
http://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=110
http://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=164
Red Square
Comrade B. Brown -Australian comrades have collaborated with our group in the past very successfully. May I interest you in the following links? You might find familiar faces...
http://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=110
http://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=164
Ah yes, Komrade Redsquare. Although the kaption of the picture is incorrect. Our brothers were actually planning an inquisition to root out global warming heretics. Such as this guy
The ill-fated Latham exercise. His shining light was extinguished all too soon. His superb Marxist ideology packaged in a PR-friendly Aussie-blokey outer shell to appeal to the blessed working class. He would use colloqial language to communicate on the level of the masses, such as "bugger" and "bloody" and of course, occasionally using the name of Jesus (the first Palestinian Suicide Bomber). In the fiercely secular nayshun of stray-ya this is pure political gold.
Although Latham has departed, he left us with a magnificent legacy- Peter Garret. As we at The Party know, creative arts people make such informed politicians. His planet-worshipping paganism leaves something to be desired, but he does have an incredible knack for white-guilt tripping.
It wasn't for nothing that Galileo was imprisoned. He went against all consensus. Even though the Revolution begins anew each day and there is nothing to learn from history we can learn by studious example.
bohemianlikeyou
In summary, I will wash your 4WD SUV and clean one of your 27,000 Sq. ft. homes if you do not report me.
Peace through shame,
bohemianlikeyou
Comrade bohemianlikeyou,
Please! Ms. Comrade Blokhayeva and I are simple people dedicated to our glorious revolutionary cause. None of my homes are over 15,000 Sq. Ft. The largest is only 14,250 Sq. Ft.
Report immediately to Ms. Comrade Blokhayeva for your duty assignments. I can tell you now, she wants her Hummer H1 washed and vacuumed. Complete the tasks she has for you satisfactorily, and I shall not bring you before a People's Revolutionary Tribunal nor shall I inform the Politburo of your transgression against the oppressed aborigine peoples of the world.
--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stori ... 08317.html
People continued to live in FEMA trailers amidst stinking raw sewage and frequent power outages until it was already absolutely clear to everyone in that trailer park that the Nanny State is incapable of all that promised care, love, and cuddling. And even then they were reluctant to evacuate. The social experiment has been completed successfully. THE DEBATE IS OVER.
People can't do anything on their own without the State. Never have, never will.
Quote:
People can't do anything on their own without the State. Never have, never will.Sometimes, however, they manage to complain on their own, but usually it involves protest signs paid for by the state.
... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...
Toast is burning,
SMO
Sister Massively Opiated
Handi-capable Party members everywhere weep as one of our most useful modes of transportation becomes politically incorrect, and we must look forward to taking our tricycles out of storage, with their silly baskets, little vinyl flags on thin plastic poles and personalized miniature licence plates with stupid things written on them (or our names - even worse - as if we have to announce who we are, or perhaps, in case we get lost and forget it ourselves), not to mention the Harpo bicycle horn and vinyl handle-bar cover tassles... There's just no dignity left for the disabled any more...... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...
SMO! What you are suggesting is crazy! I can’t ride on a tricycle! And you expect the dear Chairman to give up his limo? We can’t cut off the car just yet! Not when my robotics department is so close to making cars drive themselves (as well as go faster, change their own color, and call your boss for you to tell him you are late -- if you have not been watching the peoples discovery channel, you need some re-edukkaction again.)
With her Majesty the Wraith Queen taking her thrown in 2008, cars responsibility with global warming will be over with the advent of magic pixie juice.
RedtheProgressiveHedgehog
Sister Massively Opiated
Handi-capable Party members everywhere weep as one of our most useful modes of transportation becomes politically incorrect, and we must look forward to taking our tricycles out of storage, with their silly baskets, little vinyl flags on thin plastic poles and personalized miniature licence plates with stupid things written on them (or our names - even worse - as if we have to announce who we are, or perhaps, in case we get lost and forget it ourselves), not to mention the Harpo bicycle horn and vinyl handle-bar cover tassles... There's just no dignity left for the disabled any more...... Mind you, if I'd had to go around being called Scooter, I might enjoy prison...
SMO! What you are suggesting is crazy! I can’t ride on a tricycle! And you expect the dear Chairman to give up his limo? We can’t cut off the car just yet! Not when my robotics department is so close to making cars drive themselves (as well as go faster, change their own color, and call your boss for you to tell him you are late -- if you have not been watching the peoples discovery channel, you need some re-edukkaction again.)
With her Majesty the Wraith Queen taking her thrown in 2008, cars responsibility with global warming will be over with the advent of magic pixie juice.
Oh for goodness sake Hedgehog... SMO is handi-capable herself... Get with the programme! No... I mean literally... there is a programme in every nightstand describing each of us... as you can see, I'm a cripple... you think I want to give up my scooter?
The only realistic solution I can think of is Segueways... with seats... and wet bars...
Blue Bell
Did Rush Limbaugh mention that, in his trek across the plains to California, whether or not he found any tangible, physical, archaeological, and forensic evidence of those “rugged individuals”… the Native American Indians? You know… the original native inhabitants of America whose lands were stolen… those forgotten people who were slaughtered by the real American heroes(?), i.e., George Custer, whose “knees” were “wounded” in the process of his Manifest Destiny.Ah, yes, those hearty Siberians who marched down the coast, savagely eliminating all the people who'd been there before!
Sister Massively Opiated
Oh for goodness sake Hedgehog... SMO is handi-capable herself... Get with the programme! No... I mean literally... there is a programme in every nightstand describing each of us... as you can see, I'm a cripple... you think I want to give up my scooter?The only realistic solution I can think of is Segueways... with seats... and wet bars...
Segways!? All the sudden the phrase "White and Nerdy" comes to mind (execpt that I am the color red). I understand your desire for eleminating the carbon footprint that will result in the end of the world in the next 6 months, and how we all need to shave our heads, sit in sackcloth, and throw ashes on ourselves, greived for building the most advanced society on earth. But some of us need to keep up our image for the party. Me looking cool in my corvette will inspire others to join the revolution. But not to worry, I shall take my car to a certified Peoples Mechanic, and get the engine overhauled so that it can run on Magic Pixie Juice.
RedtheProgressiveHedgehog
Segways!? All the sudden the phrase "White and Nerdy" comes to mind (execpt that I am the color red). I understand your desire for eleminating the carbon footprint that will result in the end of the world in the next 6 months, and how we all need to shave our heads, sit in sackcloth, and throw ashes on ourselves, greived for building the most advanced society on earth. But some of us need to keep up our image for the party. Me looking cool in my corvette will inspire others to join the revolution. But not to worry, I shall take my car to a certified Peoples Mechanic, and get the engine overhauled so that it can run on Magic Pixie Juice.Comrade Pointy Rodent,
I realize that we are not well acquainted, but perhaps you have never seen my picture. Red is frightened by it for some reason... the teeth I think... but as you can see, I am neither white nor nerdy.
"Say Herring!"
BTW - I have seen fotos of cute little Pointy Rodent Offspring. They are quite lovely. The Party Increases!
Congratulations!
SMO
I see what you mean, your face is that of a powerful warrior, and teeth of a might weapon. <sigh>Ok, I tell you what. I will ride my bike when I make little errands, if it is for the party then so it be.
So you noticed my children, yes -- they are precious, already talking about how they are going to appeal to their public edukkation director on taxing the richer kid’s lunch money so that the whole school can have caviar. Sadly though, the greatest threat to them is their other parental unit. My wife/partner unit/robot was programmed too much like a female hedgehog so that at times of stress she starts to want to eat the children (and human men complain about their union partners!) She/It is currently at another residence at tax payers’ expense.
RedtheProgressiveHedgehog
Sadly though, the greatest threat to them is their other parental unit. My wife/partner unit/robot was programmed too much like a female hedgehog so that at times of stress she starts to want to eat the children (and human men complain about their union partners!) She/It is currently at another residence at tax payers’ expense.Not to worry, RPH. This too shall pass and she will be returned to you, re-edukated and in proper frame of mind to care for the future Party members. At least you are not Tom Cruise-like and realize that post-partum issues must be handled appropriately instead of ignored, or worse, going on Oprah and jumping around like a moron. The Party cares for all, and in the mean time, your children have caviar at the expense of the Kulaks!
My Eco-Credits, which is in the trillions mind you, will cover the cost of whatever rainforest I destroy while tooling around in The People's Toys (which I keep for them to protect from Imperialist warmongering hordes). I simply cannot live without my People comforts!!
Which is a wonderful gimmick, there being no such thing and no market for them.
Oh. I get it. Algore really is a progressive. He is paying people to pee on and put out the wood-burning fires of primitive people so that they won't emit carbon dioxide and he can ride in his Cadillac. And if they're cold and hungry, they to get warm they'll make more cold and hungry, and malnourished, little primitives, who will need to have someone to watch over them, and Algore is the one for that.
Poverty is power!
Pollution is power!
I expect that Comrade V. I. Lenin is rolling in his grave, wherever it now is that he's been disconnected from his formaldehyde, with envy, knowing that all the useful idiots he talked about are sitting in front of the cameras in every news room and all the news bureaux in the world, talking to Algore with a straight face.
Is it possible that they are stupid enough to think that he'll really let them in on the action? Are they so pathetic that they'll take the crumbs? Or are they so stupid that they are deceived by him? Or so mean?
Doesn't bear thinking about, does it?
Ah. That Haydn piano trio is nice.
I can see it now, the hapless multitudes of progressive peoples lining the streets to trade hard currency for these imaginary credits and then running to friends, family, co-workers and ex-sexual partners to prove their Moral Superiority™. Ugh, sheer brilliance! I tip my Ushanka to the useful-idiot who came up with that idea.
Henceforth, let it be known to The People™ that Good Party Standing will be deemed by how many Cubits™ you purchase from The People's Cube... which in turn will save the environment, end the Bushler Regime. foster world peace, undermine AmeriKKKa and of course return the Holy Land back to its rightful owners... the Philistines... errr... I mean the Palestinians.
Comrades! Trade in those decadent dollars for Cubits™, save the world and end your purchasing power forever! Do it for the children... they need your help... and their is a lot of 'em, so pony up the ca$h!
Yes. Start with cubits. And after they become inflated, we'll have new cubits. Then we'll have cubits extreme. And we can have eco-cubits, where people take environmental ecotourism. (Did you hear of the people who, trekking in Australia, were so superior that they bagged their waste and packed it out? They contracted a disease, fatal to the organs if not treated by modern antibiotics, from drinking water with pee in it. I nearly soiled my pants and freshets of schadenfreude wet the cats, displeasing Calvin and Hobbes mightily.)
And here's an idea. You can trade in Magic Pixie Juice, denominated in Cubits.
But why stop there? We can have fur credits, too. For not buying leather shoes or belts, you can buy your wife a mink stole. You can force peasants to wear plastic knock-off Nikes made in Bangladesh and ropes for belts and Tipper can have a chinchilla!
Or what about work credits? We can set up a market whereby you buy the useful work of others so you don't have to. In other times it would be called slavery but in these progressive times, it's called Social Responsibility, which means of course getting people less fortunate than you to be responsibile for you so you can tell them how lucky they are to have you to look after them, and not quite so much tonic in the Bombay Sapphire, or I'll have you back on the plantation where you deserve.
You don't know how difficult it is to get good slaves these days, and where in the hell is that overseer with the whip? Is he still sulking because I made him execute his mother because she looked at me funny?
Well, there's always another overseer with a whip, and Harvard turns them out by the dozen.
CUBITS, NOW! LET THE PEOPLE EAT CAKE (it takes roughly a trillion cubits to purchase a sliver of midly molded cake).
I think that I'll set up a stud service for hearty slave bucks. Of course of low intelligence and no imagination. Never hugged while an infant and therefore psychopathic and unable to form human bonds. High sperm count a must, and with daily injections of testerone. The rage is not important--what if he beats some of the women as long as they are not breeders? For this we'll keep around a few women past menopause.
And the studs won't be pretty either, covered with pustules and bald, but they'll be perpetually tumescent, and the testerosterone rage will occasion duels to the death, each one leading by his little soldier. The winner gets to cover the prole women.
Who shall be chosen by their wide pelvises for the bearing of children. Note that I said wide pelvis and not fat ass, which leaves out Our Many Titted Empress, who will, however, be reclining on a chaise longue being fanned by neutered Republikans and fed the deep-fried testicles of those boys who are large but with low sperm count and whom we'll work to death by 25.
Damn. I need better layers of Mexican tile in my pool cabanas. Julio!
Ahh, I do miss the Feats of Prole that the Party used to host... proles from every plantation coming together to compete in bloody death matches for simple things like food, water or the occassional lyfe-partner. I remember when we had the proles hopped up on laxatives and were forced to kill each other for access to a ditch to "relieve" themselves. Ahh yes, fond memories... that was when I was married to my first wife... the one that didn't kill herself... no, I think she did kill herself... or was she the one who ran off to the Gulag... hmmm, I'm drawing a blank here, it was one of my ex-wives. Anywho, maybe Her Excellency will bring back the games so that our proles may battle again... this time for Carbon Credits and Cubits (which they will need if they want to ever see their families again!)
The reason that I masquerade as one of those silly queers is to become a babe magnet. Oh, I know I can have all of the proles that I want but on my plantation my breeding has been so successful that they can arouse the interest of farm equipment and other proles. Breeding is technically possible but the A/V aids are horrible. So to overcome that I masquerade as a flaming queen, hoping to be "saved" by other people, for as is well known, homosexuality is not innate but a choice and a moral perversion. Ask Ralph Reed, and he will tell you that, in the interstices of time when he's not trying to control every aspect of your life.
So I hope to be saved from myself. But the problem is presenting an accurate persona. I really have no sense of color, for indigo, mulberry, and puce are all purple to me, and I have on that account established a special pink quarter on my plantation which I use for gay advice. But as is well known, they do not breed (except lawyers), and so I have to recruit them.
Ah, the difficulties in maintaining a progressive life style.
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
NO ONE IS TAKING MY LIMO AWAY FROM ME, OR MY JET, OR MY YACHT, OR MY PROLE-POWERED CARRIAGE, OR MY STRETCH OIL REFINING HUMMER (Gift from Ka-Ching).My Eco-Credits, which is in the trillions mind you, will cover the cost of whatever rainforest I destroy while tooling around in The People's Toys (which I keep for them to protect from Imperialist warmongering hordes). I simply cannot live without my People comforts!!
Oh for F**k's Sake... does no one read anything? Nobody's talking about taking away Limo's or other combustion engine vehicles... the only concern was that now that Scooter was convicted, it would be politically incorrect to use our scooters any more... the freaking discussion was only about scooters... not things with engines that use petroleum... and when has any of these rules ever applied to you anyway, Meow?
It's like having a game of broken telephone... I swear the Politburo is like a bunch of yentas and babas passing on mis-shapen gossip... all it took was for one pointy kommissar to misread a post and we're off to the freaking races... this is silly...
Chairman... if you're going to listen to your stereo turned up so loud to the point that it deafens you, then you're going to have to read things more carefully.
S-C-O-O-T-E-R-S.... the discussion only referred to S-C-O-O-T-E-R-S... and then, only how we might replace them if necessary...
... so much wasted energy and angst... this is just like the stupid "winches" discussion... Gaaah!!!
I'm sorry, SMO; I'm a little giddy since the Bushler is being screamed down by our Red Comrades South of the border... you know, the unwashed intellectual spanish speaking proletariat... the ones who have seen the progress being made in Cuba and who are enlightened enough to share the same fate (best healthcare in the world!). Hmmm... scooters... hmmm... how about Prolepeds? Yeah, we just rename them Hybrid Prolepeds. Problem solved, I will be expecting a check in the mail for my services.
The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=5
(Lupe, go to Sams Club and buy me one of those big shopping carts for my ass. I wish to be transported like the proles to feel their pain. Also make sure it is made of gold and encrusted in precious stones.)
Red Square
An alternative solution had been proposed in one of the first Truth declarations on the Cube:The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit
http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=5
Genius Red!
We chain a whack of them together and have them pulled by Young Kosmo Pioneers... Meow in one, waving to the crowd (with appropriate umbrella and fanners), and Dr. P in the next, monitoring his well-being... it's a brilliant way to make them seem more 'accessible' to the youngsters...
... and barring the use of Young Kosmo Pioneers, we could always hook it up to some winches <snicker>... sorry... too much cough syrup... <cough cough hack>...
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White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
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