Saddam Hussein, currently on trial for crimes against humanity (including multiple counts of mass murder and rape), stunned the court today by requesting that his trial be moved to Burlington, Vermont. Mr. Hussein's attorney, Ramsey Clark, later told the press that the former Iraqi dictator decided to seek a venue change after learning that a Vermont judge, Edward Cashman, had given a man who confessed to repeatedly raping a 6-year-old girl a jail sentence of only 60 days. "That's the kind of deal we could live with," declared Mr. Clark. "My client needs therapy, not prison! A lengthy term will only harden this fellow. Sure, my heart goes out to his alleged victims, but there are other families out there, and there are other innocents who could be victimized if Mr. Hussein doesn't receive timely therapy. I'm trying to take the long view. Moving the trial to the Green Mountain State will ensure that progressive justice is served."
A spokesperson for the non-partisan group stated, "this nation has suffered too long from the bias against 'murderers' and 'rapists.' It's Tom DeLay and the entire Bush administration who must be thrown in jail - not them! A society isn't free if its 'rapists' and 'murderers' aren't treated with dignity and respect. All they do is act on an uninhibited animalistic impulse - we don't jail animals, do we? They don't do it for immoral capitalist profits like Martha Stewart did. They don't enrage the community with the display of excessive wealth like Dennis Kozlowski did. They don't destroy competition like Bill Gates does. They don't put crosses on public property like Christians do. They don't pollute the environment, they don't drill oil in Alaska, they don't cut down trees, they don't drain wetlands, and they don't build malls and luxury housing developments as an affront to people who live in rundown neighborhoods."
Martha Stewart, a convicted felon, whose appeal was recently rejected by US 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals in New York, and Dennis Kozlowski, the former chairman and CEO of Tyco Int'l, who is serving 8 to 25 years in a state prison, both praised the justice system today, saying that "it's good to see that only real criminals like us get punished while innocent compulsive rapists and pederasts remain at large. Our faith in this society and its justice system is now stronger than ever."
In related news, NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association), a non-profit organization dedicated to educating the public and promoting man's right to have sex with children, has named Vermont as the new site of its annual conference in recognition of the local community's open-minded, pederast-friendly, and pro-rape culture.
Vermont Governor Jim Douglas responded to the court's decision with the following statement: "As a modern-day man I think it's time I got myself a boy to rape on lunch breaks. I don't want my uninhibited electorate to think I'm some kind of conservative who can't think further than consensual sex with a woman who shaves her legs and armpits."
Prince Wabi-Wabi Akbar
Was the six-year old girl a Republican? If so, she was given a taste of what her leader has been doing to civilization (and the environment!) for the last five years.
Kim Jong's ill
Fidel 'Bernie' Castro
It's about time Vermont catches up with my ideas.
Doesn't anybody remember my posts on "Omnisexuality" last year?
By Ditch Digger
5/22/2005, 12:08 am
My Dearest Hillary,
I find myself longing for you more and more everyday. Those thick thighs, that well rounded rear, that lesbo haircut. (I sure hope your not swinging for the other side. Us hetero's need you on our side) I need to be near you, feel you, carress you like no man has ever carressed a shamless, sexless, hypocritical bulldogish woman before. I am tired of spending lonely nights in my bedroom, staring at you in Newsweek magazine with nothing but my fantasies and a paper towel to keep me company. When can we get together and knock boots? I have dug more ditches, swung more shovels and hammers than Bill ever will. Surely that is a turn on. Let me know when we can rendevous.
Dear Double D.
Just to set the record straight (no pun intended) I am Omni-sexual. Discrimination of any sort will not be tolerated in my Administration and that includes sexual preferences! This of course means greater freedom for all the masses. Nevermore will pedophiles, necrophiliacs, incestual, beastial, hetero, homo, polygamist, and onanists like yourself need to worry about being stigmatized by being lumped into a catagory. Your wants and desires are to be realized and celebrated. In this spirit of sexual healing you may stop by Maureen Dowd's apartment any late Friday night and partake in one of our group sessions. Please bring your shovel because Janet broke her broom handle and we need a substitute for it. Make sure it's sanded because I don't like splinters. Be sure to stop by the White House after I'm elected for the Christmas tree decorating. Friends tell me it's like a scene out of "Caligula".
No labels here,
5/30/2005, 1:40 pm
Are you a lesbian? I think that might make you unequal from the rest of us, because I'm not a lesbian. I'm a man.
Steve, you don't have enough spare change in your pants pockets to pay attention, do you? If you would have read a previous post you would know that I'm OMNI-SEXUAL. I've banged Vince Foster, I've banged Janet Reno. I've humped doorknobs, Buddy the Labrador has humped me. I do not make distinctions where preference is concerned, only a bigot and a (fill-in-the- blank)_____phobe would do that. Come the Revolution, your way of thought will all but disappear, except in the Gulag.
It is nice that Vermont has become the Village I've dreamed of. Well, you got the Granite State next door, with their silly "Live Free or Die" motto.
I dare suggest Vermont should become "The Village State"
So let us raise the Rainbow flag in total triumph and change Vermont's motto to "It's Never too Late to Skate on Rape State."
Don't forget to bring your GHB and Ketamine when you visit:
Always here to help the least fortunate,
I suggest a trip to the gulag for some "re-education" by his fellow inmates.
WJC buying some GHB
Screw the UN Secretary General's job. I want Dean's old job.
Hell, I wouldn't have to worry about obnoxious bitches like Kathleen Willey, Paula Jones, Juanita Broaderick, and Elizabeth Ward Gracen:
Break out the pre-moistened cigars!
Put some ice on it,
six year-old revolutionar
Home of the Deans
TLAI think Saddam's trial should be moved to New Orleans
Perhaps we can make a list of US cities that are possible contenders for the honors of hosting Saddam's trial - and then have a contest in which each city will explain its reasons, level of preparedness, and the benefit for the local community from this event. It's similar to how they select cities for Olympic events.
I think the obvious candidates are:
Red SquareI think the obvious candidates are:
I vote Seattle!
Saddam and Gomorrah
Key West, FL
If we just all sat around with a big bowl of Ben & Jerry's icecream, everything would be just fine.