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The New Age Annoints a New Opiate

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"God is dead, and we have killed him." So said the great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Thus, there is a void that can be exploited in the herd that is the American voting population." With these words opened the first neo-ecumenical council of world pseudo-religions held June 10 - 13, 2008, in Ventnor City, New Jersey. "We are here to proclaim the arrival of an Enlightened Being who will lead us to Justice, Peace, Health and Wholeness. All the evils in the world are the Fault of the Bushitler, and it is time to fix that.
With the refrain that "it is all Bush's fault" echoing through the halls, it was little surprise that the New-Age Faiths offered their unanimous endorsement to Senator Barack Hussein Obama's presidential campaign.

"Here we have a true Lightworker," explained Alexis Virago, High Harridan of the Church of the Holy Hooter (commonly known as the Boobtists). "He is probably not really human, or at least not totally human; I suspect that his father was a spiritual being residing temporarily in physical form in order to accomplish The Obama's incarnation."

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That The Obama is a Lightworker was adopted into the articles of ideology of each religion by acclamation: "He will lead the people out of the bondage of Capitalism and into the Pure Light of a new consciousness, where all things are held in common, where all sickness will be cured by caring doctors and compassionate public health service nurses. The Wealthy shall give to the poor, until there is no wealth. The artificial borders that separate the peoples of the Earth will be nullified, and the Earth herself will begin to heal. The waters shall recede, the sun shall smile on a green and fertile land."

"We look with favor upon the nomination," pronounced Hans Bedlamite, leader of the Goreman delegation. "We feel that it in fact is more of an anointing than a nomination, that the divine hand of Mother Gaia is at work here. He has promised that He will consult with the Goremans on all ecological policies, and with that we are wonderfully pleased."

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"We look forward to a full and final investigation of the Bushitler's war crimes, starting with the inside job that destroyed the World Trade Center. The Truth will finally be revealed and all of our conspiracies will be proved," intoned the leader of the Trutherans, who declined to be identified by any name other than a simple "Mikael." "We have lived under the lies of the 19 percenters for eight long years. We have kept the faith when all others deserted us, called us fools, produced 'evidence' to refute our gospels. Now we will see justice."

"The Church of the Holy Hooter embraces The Obama despite his gender," confirmed Virago. "He may have a phallus, but his wife is a speaker of Truth to Power. We hope that she will join us in our rituals one day, but we are happy enough to have such a strong woman behind the throne. We expect an immediate withdrawal of American troops from Iraq, Afghanistan and all bases in San Francisco. We further prophesy that an immediate reign of Peace will follow this shining accomplishment, that all violence will cease, that the Religion of Peace will heal the rifts in the Middle East that were only created with the illegal American invasion of this peaceful region."

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Top representatives of new beliefs met in solemn conclave amid the serene atmosphere at Trump's World Fair Conference Center. "The so-called 'mainstream religions'-with the exception of the American Episcopal Church-have grown stale and failed to move with the times," explained conference organizer Myron Postal, leader of the Fifth-Year-Plan Adventists as he led the way to Section 8 of the Conference Center. "We offer the same features as these failed faiths, but we can back our beliefs up with solid proof. And we don't condemn people for being different, for being sinful. We only condemn people who don't agree with us."

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"We are exploiting the humyn proclivity to believe in something," agreed Harridan Virago. "People have a need to embrace things that cannot be proved and to take part in rituals designed to alter the course of the universe. We have successfully ridiculed the beliefs of the 'traditional' religions to the point that we can replace them with our own articles of faith and acts of ritual." She paused to lift her T-shirt at a group of school children as we passed the casino day care center, calling "Boobs not Bombs, kiddies! Boobs for Obama! Tell Mommy to vote Democrat!" then continued. "I'm particularly proud of the little fish with legs with the word 'Darwin' written on it. I thought that one up. It really puts those 'Christian' fascists in their place for trying to force their religion on me with that misogynistic fish symbol of theirs." When asked how a fish is a symbol of misogyny she grasped the hem of her shirt threateningly. "Don't question the articles of my faith, hater!"

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In Section 8 the various neo faiths had interesting and educational displays set up to explain the subtle mysteries of their beliefs:

-The Boobtist pavilion was resplendent with no less then seventeen pairs of bared breasts. Their literature (which was a welcome diversion from the acolytes) explained that through the sacrament of exposing a pair of sagging, leathery dugs, the believer could lead the apostate to Truth. At the sight of the Holy Hooter their eyes will be opened and they will see the Truth that Bush is Hitler and anyone that has ever even thought of voting Rethuglikkkan will be condemned to everlasting damnation. To be bra-less is to be sinless.

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-The Trutherans had perhaps the largest kiosk in the convention hall. The Gospel According to Saint Michael played on a continuous loop DVD, explaining how the attack on 9/11 was a sinister plot by Bushitler to enslave the entire world. The Revelations of Saint Rosie the Bovine proved that fire cannot melt steel, reinforcing the revealed mystery of the Controlled Demolition Fact. The booth was operated by sisters from the Order of Our Lady of the Incoherent Misconception, although the Abyss of the Ditch, Saint Sheehan was too busy planning her next pilgrimage to Venezuela to attend in person.

-The Percustionals had a noisy display set up, where they drummed for World Peace, Environmental Awareness and Loose Change. "We'll believe just about anything anyone tells us, as long as they are from Holy Wood!" shouted Moonbeam Whalesong. "They have taught us that every single thing that Amerikkka has ever done is wrong and stuff! Have you got any spare money so I can go to Starbucks?!"

-The Maotheodists had a small display in one corner, touting the deification of the chairman. There was a bit of friction evident between them and the Fifth-Year-Plan Adventists. "We have a mausoleum and a glass coffin, and we still have our own country," observed Xian Gri-la, People's Guardian of the Shining Path of Sacred Mysteries. "Who are the real Communists here?"

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"Real Communists hate the Bushitler," retorted Postal as he dragged the party bodily away from the Maotheodist display. "When was the last time you did anything to oppose the illegal occupation of Iraq, Afghanistan and New York by the Rethuglicans? Just passing money to the Democrats doesn't count, Hsu know." He gave them a particularly condescending smile "And those really helped out your little false goddess, didn't they?" He hustled the reporter pool out of the convention display hall and down to a conference room.

"What we are seeing here is merely the inevitable progression of history as initiated by the first People's religion, Leninism," he explained over a glass of sacramental wine after we had settled into chairs. "Once the vanguard of the People pioneered the methods it was as inevitable as the success of Socialism that fellow travelers would seek Truth through alternative means." He admitted privately that many of the new denominations were populated by "useful fools" who would of course require theological reeducation once the Great Satan had been cast down. "And besides," he added conspiratorially, "We believe all religion to be an outdated collection of superstitions, except for our progressive Muslim brothers, of course; despite their ridiculous belief in a God they did not manufacture, they do show a healthy contempt for so-called 'Western Civilization.' What we are after here is simply a tool to keep the proles distracted..." He might have said more had we not been joined by the Goremon representative at this point.

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High Thermidorian Hans Bedlamite lost no time in chastising the heathen. "Unlike primitive superstitions, our faith is based on solid scientific consensus of every real scientist on the planet. Anybody who disagrees with our holy writ that Human-Driven Global Warming is going to cause earthquakes, floods, abnormally high and low temperatures, male pattern baldness and an increase in bad indy bands is not a real scientist and has been paid off by the Halliburton Company to tell filthy lies.

But unlike the Christians, who used to burn people at the stake for heresy (and trust me, that pack of Fascists would be at it again in a heartbeat if we didn't keep them under close supervision, and they wouldn't even buy carbon offsets) we believe in the absolute right of every individual to agree with every word that comes from the mouth of the Goracle without question. The only people we want to silence are those dangerous counter-revo -er, misguided tools of the establishment that demand to 'see the raw data' or who question the 'methodology of the study.' Those who question the revealed wisdom of the Goracle must be stopped from spreading their wicked lies. Oh, and it's all Bush's fault."

With a rosy new dawn lightening the horizon, it seems that a New Age of aroused consciousness and spiritual evolution has arrived with the nomination of The Obama. Soon all dissent shall cease-by law, if necessary-health will abound, waters will run pure and clear, and peace shall descend. All due to the arrival of the Lightworker.

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Excellent article Comrade Betinov. however, we must refrain from glorifying the Obama to the point that some will see Obama as god and not just a messenger, There is no god but the State and Obama the current true prophet.

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With all the attention this guy is getting, you would think he is the antichrist... actually, that doesn't sound that far-fetched....

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All these denominations to choose from! How do I know which one is the right one? Which one will bring me closer to the Obamessiah, that I may know Him, love Him, and desire to serve no one but Him?

More importantly, which one best suits my personal needs at this particular moment in time?

Which one allows casual attire? I'm so sick of pantyhose, and having to cover my bellybutton all the time. Plus, thanks to Pupovich, I just threw out all my blue eyeshadow.

I'm looking for a church with a big screens, an open bar and a skate park, that I might skate into the Light and Glory that is the Obamessiah, just as He will skate into the White House Holy Temple this November!

I won't go to a church that doesn't have a place where I can go skateboarding.

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Betty, you're not the only one who wonders about that.

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Betty, you're not the only one who wonders about that.

This will make you feel better:

"GERMANS HOPE FOR A NEW AMERICA
By Ralf Beste and Konstantin von Hammerstein
Barack Obama's charisma and youth have won the Democratic presidential candidate many fans in Berlin. Republican candidate John McCain, on the other hand, is seen as a choleric hardliner.

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Presumptive US Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama during an election rally in South Dakota: Germans are now eager to discard their anti-Americanism.

It's a dream, nothing but a dream. And yet it has taken hold in many places around the German capital, in the offices of cabinet ministers and members of parliament, in strategy sessions at party headquarters, around conference tables at the editorial offices of newspapers and magazines, and even in a few of the countless offices of Berlin's federal government bureaucracy.
The dream goes something like this: What if just a small fragment of the American presidential election primary were to spill over into Germany? The enthusiasm, for example, and the vitality, energy and drama that the world's oldest democracy has presented to the global public for months? And what if German politicians would exude just a smidgen of the youthfulness and spirit of optimism that Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential candidate, seems to have in abundance?
Obamamania has gripped large segments of Germany's political establishment and population.... blah blah blah"

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Hmmm, seems like I remember the German people buying into the cult of personality once before.
Heil Obama!

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Oh yes, look at this ^^^female comrade, you can tell she feels so correct with her thoughts. You know, its pictures like this, of our brain-dead comrades who make me feel good inside and accomplished. Its pictures like that, which make me forget about pictures like this...

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(dead FARC leader Raul Reyes PBUH)

Aghh, but I digress.... I know for sure, once our Comrade Barack Obama gets annointed leader, my comrades in FARC will have a great resurgence!

Barack Obama will be a great ruler, because Presidents RULE America, they don't "Preside" over America. "President" - what a stupid capitalist concept. Onward Barryian soldier, onward comrade Obama, get to your throne, and make America communist for good. Like Barack Obama said........


‘If They Bring a Knife to the Fight, We Bring a Gun'

YESSS!!!

Barack is a Communist, he isn't a weakling socialist! ^^^ That's same line that we close out all of our FARC meetings with.

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Indeed. Obama is a true Communist in the mold of Stalin, bless his frilly moustache...

I can't wait until the purges start; he has said that he'll direct his Attorney General to look into possible war crime show trials for members of the current administration. The possibilities are limitless!

Criticism is criminalized!

Praise Obama from whom all freebies flow!

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F.A.R.C. Agent Ivan wrote:Image
Oh yes, look at this ^^^female comrade, you can tell she feels so correct with her thoughts.

That's a woman in the throes of Obamagasm, the fierce urgency of now! Oh, it sends tingles and thrills up my leg!

Oh yes, I believe! I believe I can be filled with the audacious spirit of Hope and Change, just like that woman. Yes, I can!

I want to start a holy order of nuns devoted to the Obamessiah. In fact, let's all of us become Brides of Obama. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It's easy. All that's required is a sacred vow of poverty and obedience. Yes, we can!

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Image ohmigod! The Obama is about to be sucked up by an alien tractor beam! Hurry comrades, DO SOMETHING!

"humyn proclivity", heh heh.

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Comrades! We must be careful to not go overboard with idolatry! The State is God and there is no God but the State and Obama is His messenger. Obama is doing all the right things however. He has a myth to excite the voters which is critical. We can never let fact or reason hold sway. In fact, reason is the very core of cursed conservative thinking, and so we must fight reason completely, It is for that reason I have not denounced anyone for idolatry,as long as we all remember, it is the State that is Sovereign.

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O ye of little faith, doubting Pupovich! Messiah = anointed one.

Obama is the Messiah. He has been anointed by the State. Therefore, it is OK for us to worship and slobber accordingly.

You're a racist for even questioning it.

And what's wrong with the spacing on my post? Pinkie is puzzled.

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Remember. not long ago Hillary = anointed one

The state is god!

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I can't wait until the purges start; he has said that he'll direct his Attorney General to look into possible war crime show trials for members of the current administration. The possibilities are limitless!
I agree 100% comrade!

We can only HOPE that the Obamasiah will also CHANGE the American war crime laws to include their capitalist puppets of Colombia. The blood-thristy Colombian government who has decimated my beloved FARC organization.

Please Obama, use your ruling authority to bring all war-mongers, Bush and Bush-Colombian-Puppets to communist justice!


That's a woman in the throes of Obamagasm, the fierce urgency of now! Oh, it sends tingles and thrills up my leg!


Yes, she looks very pleased with her Obamagasm. I will have an Obamagasm if Barack wins the authority over the Capitalist Americans. A great day awaits us all!

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Commissar Pupovich wrote:Remember. not long ago Hillary = anointed one

The state is god!

Hillary is Empress.

Empress = Crowned.

Messiah = Anointed

And I just found out today that Michelle Magdalene is AGAINST pantyhose! So, per my first post on this thread, I should never have to wear them again!

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Image This is the kind of example we must follow comrades. For if the Party is to be glorified, we must folow such examples in the masses. Obama will lead us to Party Glorification, and Party Glorification is what we must strive for.

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Welcome, Comrade Elliott. Can you please elaborate more on the meaning of your avatar?

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I think I see what might be a sniper rifle from Halo in the background, but I'm not sure.

<img width="250" src="https://media.mlgpro.com/site/images/fe ... rrifle.jpg">

Can anyone else see it?

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Premier Betty wrote:I think I see what might be a sniper rifle...
Can anyone else see it?
Greetings, Comrade Premier Betty,


Comrade Hillary,
Yes, yes, you are about to make me so proud of you! Hee! hee!
It's gonna be just like old times!
Image Revenge is so sweet, my dear. Remember the railroad tracks? Ah! such fun!
All the best!
Saul

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Commissar Pupovich wrote:Remember. not long ago Hillary = anointed one

The state is god!

Hillary is Empress.

Empress = Crowned.

Messiah = Anointed

And I just found out today that Michelle Magdalene is AGAINST pantyhose! So, per my first post on this thread, I should never have to wear them again!
What woman in her right mind isn't against pantyhose? Garter belts and stockings are the way to go,if one must wear something on ones' legs. Just be prepared for constant attention from your significant other,though. Mine is constantly asking me to wear a skirt or dress,just so he can have me wear the G&S's.

Btw,may I join your order of nuns? We could call it The Order of the Slutty Nuns....wearing garter belts and stockings under our burqa/wimples.


Image Michelle Magdalene...lmao!!

All hail my first posting!

The Glorious Leader of the Vanguard of the Proletariat has begun on a correct footing...he's got his cult of personality up and running even before the seizure of power! Talk about being in a hurry!

Personal note and non-capitalist plug: I am currently playing Soviet-Afghan War, by HPSSIMS... https://www.hpssims.com. Its a computer wargame in the classic style...hexes and everything. *This* time the progressive, peace-loving forces of the heroic Red Army will win!

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Ah, Michelle... That ban on pantyhose is sure to rekindle a joy I once had: Playing "drop the Pencil" in high school.

Mull that one over for awhile.


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Greetings Comrades,

I just flew in from Durakovo re-education camp. Boy, are my arms tired!

Long time reader, first time poster. I hope you are all more tolerant of my musings than my former “teachers” at Duakovo.

My breast swells at the knowledge that I am now an official party member.

Long live the Revolution!

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Durakovo re-education camp, how is the old place....Oh please be careful with that joke it's an antique.

ObamaFürer, will bring us in to a new era, a workers Paradise, where we will work and work and work, and our beloved ObamaFürer will live in spendor, along with the chosen Joseph Gerbils Soros at his side. Comrades, woman need not worry about pantyhose. you will not be able to afford them.


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first time poster.


all hail my first posting

It warms my red soul to see all these new recruits joining up to be part of our communist society, and on the Obamessiah thread to boot!

Obama is a great leader that is for sure, he can get so many to blindly follow him.

Barack has a strong communist lineage. Some of the Obamas I admire and Cherish besides Barack, are his Kenyan Father, an avowed communist, Barack H. Obama Sr., as well as Barack's communist mother Stanley.

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Barack's ruthless communist-muslim cousin Raila Odinga.

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Who has a bloody history that any communist would be proud of.

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And of course, Barack's queen, the honorable Shelly Obama. She is such a happy and giving comrade, she makes my heart melt.

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The Obama's small, proletariat-minded home. A dwelling so modest, our USSR brethren would have been impressed.

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And finally, our anointed one, the great communist leader himself, Barack H. Obama. What a great ruler he will be for all the world to enjoy.

<img width="500" src="https://www.theobamafile.com/_images/ObamaAsMuslim.jpg">

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F.A.R.C. Agent Ivan wrote:

The Obama's small, proletariate-minded home. A dwelling so modest, our USSR bretheren would have been impressed.

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ADT security system and iron-spiked fence to keep out the unwashed.

I count four garbage cans out front. Don't they recycle?

No wonder she can't get him to take out the garbage anymore.

Comrades!!!
Since I am new I am not entirely clear, is it heresy to add to the gospel of Gore? Or is M Night Shyamalan a true Goreman???? I must know!!!!!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:ADT security system and iron-spiked fence to keep out the unwashed.

I count four garbage cans out front. Don't they recycle?

No wonder she can't get him to take out the garbage anymore.

There are perfectly good explanations for all these seemingly hypocritcal facts about the pro-left Obamas.

See, the Obama clan needs one large garbage can for each person in the family; Barry, Shelly, daughter A, and daughter B. When living as communists in an evil capitalistic country like America, there are many things the Obama's must "dispose" of in order to keep the fascist-American government from using their own political leanings against them.

In regards to the iron-spiked fence, that is actually not hypocritical at all. What communist doesn't love the sight of drab-colored iron out their window? Steel = Commie-Power.

The ADT security system is also to keep the fascist-American government in check. Just ask Willy Ayers about the one.....

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Don't they recycle??

Barack has been recycling old communist rhetoric for all us comrades since the beginning of his campaign for Ruler of America; that is recycling enough for me!


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Commissar Pupovich wrote:Comrades! We must be careful to not go overboard with idolatry! The State is God and there is no God but the State and Obama is His messenger.

Indeed Comrade Pup, you once again speak sense.

Down here under, we have experienced the euphoria over Chairman Kevin. After the 2020 Summit, correctly stacked with correct-thinking socialists, we made the mistake of almost elevating him to status of messianic-deified-demi-godness. We in the OZstrayun Greens oppose any god-related thinking.

Chairman Kevin seems to be trying to enhance his demi-god-ness image by attempting to take on the characteristics of deity. for example, he is never actually visible, but is always omni-presently watching over us (through the sacred feminine Julia Gillard)

Beelz

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Lenin 'n Thingies wrote:Btw,may I join your order of nuns?

May you? YOU WILL! We will all burn our pantyhose and be like the first Bride of Obama, the Sacred Feminine Michelle Magdalene, because we are being told that she is JUST LIKE US!!!

From our "They're Making It Too Easy For Us" file, here's a look at the habit we shall all be wearing after next Tuesday:

Fashion Icon Michelle Obama Starts Frock Frenzy


MEREDITH VIEIRA: Now to that dress that everyone is talking about. The one that Michelle Obama sported on "The View" this week. It is now flying off store shelves. At just $148 a pop, it is a steal.

Yes, in a time when the MSM is telling us on a daily basis that the economy is tanking, that unemployment is at an all time high, that we're being forced to choose between groceries, medicine, and gas for our cars, that we're all on the verge of losing our homes to foreclosure, we are all of us still ready to plunk down $148.00 for this bargain of a dress so we can be pretty and dainty and gurly, just like the first Bride of Obama!

In the meantime, we shall await further new light from Michelle Magdalene, so we shall know how to conduct ourselves, that we may be more like her because she is just like us. I have faith that in the days to come, as she makes the rounds of all the talk shows, we shall learn the answers to some of The Real Issues such as:

Applicator or non-applicator?

Razor, depilatory, wax or laser?

Contour or soft cup?

Do you ever find yourself nagging Barack about leaving the toilet seat up?

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Brilliant!

I think we should have a huge ceremony in which the ladies all gather and simultaneously take off their panty hose and burn them, and then put on their garters and stockings and frolick with joy! And we shall all watch this wonderful display of liberation, and gasp with aw as the sprinklers come on dousing the frolicking females, causing their wet clothes to stick to their wonderous voluptuous forms.....

I must go.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

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Thank Gaia that the Obamessiah will weaken Amerika's position from the inhumane sounding fighting terrorism, to the more compassionate (and approved by The Party™) sounding countering terrorism.

http://matthewyglesias.theatlantic.com/ ... orceme.php

Let's get real here, terrorists are just misunderstood and when we become a better Socialist nation that is dedicated to justice (i.e. we bend over and let them do a "Deliverance" on us) then we will have peace in the Middle East.

--
ZB

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I wonder if Obama Bin Laden's daddy ever.....

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....gave Obama Bin Laden's mommy......

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....a "pearl necklace"? Or, the State forbid, a "chili dog" (see Urban Dictionary.com)


Your Comrade for World Peace,

Kim Jong Illin'



Premier Betty wrote:With all the attention this guy is getting, you would think he is the antichrist... actually, that doesn't sound that far-fetched....

No, it does not. They have definately built him up to be the savior.

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http://store.barackobama.com/category_s/1007.htm

I clicked . . .

I took one glance . . .

. . . and I thought I was looking at birth control pills.

<br>[TABLE][TR][TD][/TD][/TR][TR][TD]Image [/TD][/TR][/TABLE]

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Aaaahhhhh... Identity politics in full bloom.

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. . and I thought I was looking at birth control pills.

Well now, we don't want a whole bunch of little Baraks running around nine months after the primaries, now do we? With all these tinglings going on the sheer virility of the man may be causing inarticulate misconceptions left and right.

Given the frequency of your own Obamagasms, I've taken the liberty of liberating some party funds and placed an order for the (unlisted, available by special order only) "Super-Maxi Women for Obama 10,000 pack (now fortified with SPF 45 and B complex vitamins)" in your name.

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Thank you, Betinov. That will come in handy anytime I have that Fierce Urgency of Now!

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Barack Obama's mommy kind of looks like a young John Kerry. Hmm... I wonder?

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Chairman, I think we can do entirely without your racist comments about the Obamamamma. (Bear in mind that any comment that does not recognize the obvious superiority of the Lightworker and any sentence containing the name "Obama" and ending in a question mark have been determined to be rascist. The only exception to this rule are rhetorical sentences such as "Is there any way that Obama could be more perfect?")

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And we can do entirely without your intolerance towards Asexually-Reproducing-Americans, Comrade Betinov!

Barack Obama -- who I pray to daily, mind you -- was enchanted by the idea that his mommy could indeed be a young John Kerry in drag. Barack sat down when I told him my suspicions, Comrade Betinov, and he looked at me in awe when I explained to him that John Kerry is known to reproduce asexually when coming into contact with foreign Marxist. Why, I never seen Barack so happy, Comrades. I never have seen him so happy to think that John Kerry could have possibly given birth to him.

And you, Comrade Betinov! You drag my name through the dirt and portray me as a Clinton or some PUMA whore! How dare you, Comrade! How dare you make me feel cheap and dirty without first buying me dinner at a Burger King and then taking me back to some sleazy motel!

You disgust me!

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You disgust me!

I'm a brain in a jar of unidentifiable fluid. I have that effect on a lot of people.

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What is that stuff you ferment in anyway?

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Premier Betty wrote:What is that stuff you ferment in anyway?

Holy Water that has been blessed by Rev. Wright.

--
ZB

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Premier Betty wrote
What is that stuff you ferment in anyway?

Holy Water that has been blessed by Rev. Wright.

Actually, it is a secret blend of 11 natural herbs and spices, fortified with grain alcohol and the sweat of a whipped Abbysinian civet cat.

I'm here to report that the Baptist Congregation is not so far behind. Our small consensus groups are studying the works of Donald Miller.

https://tinyurl.com/Blue-Like-Jazz

faithfully overseeing the subversion of Baptists,

yours,

Miss Pol Pot Pie

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The sweat of a whipped Abbysinian civet cat?

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Abyssinian? Whys it always gotta be about the poor Abyssinians?

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traci wrote:I'm here to report that the Baptist Congregation is not so far behind. Our small consensus groups are studying the works of Donald Miller.

https://tinyurl.com/Blue-Like-Jazz

faithfully overseeing the subversion of Baptists,

yours,

Miss Pol Pot Pie

A leftist Baptist? No way!!!

--
ZB

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Tiglath-Pileser wrote:Abyssinian? Whys it always gotta be about the poor Abyssinians?

ya what did the Abyssinians do to anybody????

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The sweat of a whipped Abbysinian civet cat?

Abyssinian? Whys it always gotta be about the poor Abyssinians?

ya what did the Abyssinians do to anybody????

Don't ask me, I just float in it. Ask Coco Channel; it is one of the ingredients of Channel No. 5.

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"An Apotheosis With The One"
--For Laika--

Election day-ay-ay
In a bleak and stark November
I-I am alo-o-o-ne
Gazing on the ballot and the names below
I seek The One whose Hope has Changed me so
I AM BARAK!
I AM MESS-I-I-I-I-AH!

My vote is ca-a-ast
On my guilt of being Whitey
--The sins my race did per-er-petrate!
I have no need of thinking, for thinking causes pain
It's my heritage and country I distain
I AM BARAK!
I AM MESS-I-I-I-I-AH!

This talk of Ho-o-pe
Stirs something deep inside me
It's sleeping in my memory
I'm having an Obasm and I didn't have to beg
I feel a tingle streaking up my leg
I AM BARAK!
I AM MESS-I-I-I-I-AH!

I have his books!
His audacious Hope to Change me!
I am shielded in his au-au-au-ra
Standing in the booth, The safe election booth
I touch The One as The One touches me
I AM BARAK!
I AM MESS-I-I-I-I-AH!

And Barak has no brain
And Messiahs never lie...

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Sister decided to test her faith and stopped taking her meds in order to see if Obama really is an opiate.... if so, he would take care of her pain...

So, after the seizures stopped, I am happy to report a miracle... with Obama, I have no need for my meds...

ow, ow, ow...
SMOw

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:
traci wrote:I'm here to report that the Baptist Congregation is not so far behind. Our small consensus groups are studying the works of Donald Miller.

https://tinyurl.com/Blue-Like-Jazz

faithfully overseeing the subversion of Baptists,

yours,

Miss Pol Pot Pie

A leftist Baptist? No way!!!

--
ZB

Oh yes, Zampolit Blokhayev, it's true!

As we speak, the Baptists are blissfully nursing on the hairy (communist) teats of Rick Warren. Do not underestimate the opaite-ness (nor the marketability) of 'Warren' breast-milk.

Baptists are quietly turning left, but are not displaying it as loudly....for fear that other Baptists will not understand....but I'm watching as they quietly avert their eyes at the old repugnican talking points that once animated them.

And I am happy to report they are taking well to the increasing progressives bibles, that we have been painstakingly introducing...along with Jimmy Carter biographies and Karen Armstrong's reductionist histories.

It is only a matter of time before the Baptists come out of their closets.

Yay progress!

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Sister decided to test her faith and stopped taking her meds in order to see if Obama really is an opiate.... if so, he would take care of her pain...

So, after the seizures stopped, I am happy to report a miracle... [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]with Obama, I have no need for my meds...
[/HIGHLIGHT]
ow, ow, ow...
SMOw

So...you were cured by miracle, or you've passed on to your Great Reward...I assume it was a miracle performed by the Miracle Man...you REALLY should have known, sis!!


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Aaaaa-li-son... ... ...

Pravda... I believe that you either know me all too well or there are some holes in my tinfoil head-gear...

... quick... guess what I'm listening to now...


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traci wrote: It is only a matter of time before the Baptists come out of their closets.

Comrade traci!

First "Leftist Baptists".

Now you are saying ... there are Gay Baptists, too?

I am stunned, though delighted, by this progressive news.

Does Comrade Doctor Theocritus know about this? I'm sure he would be thrilled to hear that other progressives are coming out of their closets. However, I fear that his "partner" (for the lack of a better term), Bruno, could be come very frightened if he finds out about this. Not to worry though! A few slaps upside that silly drag queen's Carmen Miranda headdress and the good Comrade Doctor will straighten that basso profundo squealing, hoochie coochie girl right up.

--
ZB

Comrade Zampolit Blokhayev,

Now that you mention it:

Lance Bass, the former 'N Sync heartthrob, reveals that he is gay in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE....Now, after years of keeping his personal life private, the Mississippi-bred, Southern Baptist-reared Bass, 27, is publicly revealing what he first shared with his friends, then his shocked family.

Most faithfully yours,
Miss Pol Pot Pie

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Premier Betty wrote:With all the attention this guy is getting, you would think he is the antichrist... actually, that doesn't sound that far-fetched....

How about far out? This freaks me out! Is there a doppelganger around here?

Is this Obama AntiChrist...?..

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A thoughtcriminal left it on my doorstep this morning, put it on fire, rang the bell, and ran away.

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This was written by a pastor's wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events.
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Our Leader "P-BO"

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America, having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you."

"My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed."

And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed. And "The One" said, "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And the people said, "Show us the money!" And the he said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will deal with radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed. And He said. "I shall mandate employer-funded health care for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas." And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, Not to worry.. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!" and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff.

The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..." And the world said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed then and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW

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