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Tough Mother: A Vagina Monologue You'd Rather Not See

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Hey Red, help us out here. What does Kasparov say after the F.P. is slapped down?

P.S.: Thanks Pupovich, for recovering this footage!

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What was that flying around? And if it is what I think it is, how did they get their hands on it? I thought the Lizard Queen had preventative measures to keep it safe....

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What nefarious entity has stolen the F.P. again?!! Bring it BACK !!!

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Hey Red, help us out here. What does Kasparov say after the F.P. is slapped down?

Play the original YouTube. When it finishes there will be a series of mini-screens that link to other videos below the screen. #2 provides a translation in subtitles. I'm sure it is entirely accurate.

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Ahhh, yes. That makes perfect sense. "...we should start off slow and work up speed towards the end." - LOL. I almost fell off of my chair.

Entirely accurate indeed. Thank you Comrade Brain in Jar.

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Could you provide a link? Those contextual links in YouTube are dynamic and change all the time, so I couldn't find the one you meant.

In the YouTube Flying Penis video, Kasparov thanks the perpetrators for illustrating his point about the lack of respect towards political opponents. He suggested that the current Russian government may have finally revealed its true face. He also made a guess that the flying penis might be the government's answer to the problem of the decline in population growth.



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All parts being equal and without specific function or purpose, can she also metabolize vodka with her lungs, breathe with her heart, and defecate from her ears? (The last one likely being the easiest for her to demonstrate.) Our evolution will be complete once the huperson race transmutates into androgynous slime blobs...


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Find out what your old friends ar3 up to? Now that sounds like a worthwhile database for the Party!

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Cellmates.com, a service to help find lost comrades within the vast Gulagosphere...

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Dr. Strangelove wrote:Cellmates.com, a service to help find lost comrades within the vast Gulagosphere...

I tried Cellmates.com. but I wasn't impressed. It seemed just about every name I tried came back as "Unable to locare this non-person. Pleast try another." Wonder what's up with that?

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Commissar Pupovich wrote:I tried Cellmates.com, but I wasn't impressed. It seemed just about every name I tried came back as "Unable to locate this non-person. Please try another." Wonder what's up with that?

See! The system works perfectly! (That is, assuming your query was immediately followed up by a sudden knock at the door from the Secret Police...)

I wonder how much she charges for home decorating ideas?
The place could use a "womyns" touch I guess.

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Dr. Strangelove wrote: See! The system works perfectly! (That is, assuming your query was immediately followed up by a sudden knock at the door from the Secret Police...)

Not yet Comrade! But the day is coming soon! I am so looking forward!

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You do know that they won't come with flowers and a box of chocolates... right?

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"Please try another"? It's what we're here for.

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Pupovich, I'm going to recommend that you don't try another one of those thorium-laced chocolates. It might spoil your dinner...

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Dr. Strangelove wrote:Pupovich, I'm going to recommend that you don't try another one of those thorium-laced chocolates. It might spoil your dinner...

What? Do you not look forward to the day when the Party's security organs are operating at the fullest efficiency possible? That was what I was trying to convey. Sure, the security organs are doing a good job now considering, but I look forward to the day when all ThoughtCrime™ is dealt with quickly and effectively, and DoublePlusGoodThink is the rule of the day!


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How did she/he/it (SHIt) come to be pregnant when he has a wife?!?

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Premier Betty wrote:How did she/he/it (SHIt) come to be pregnant when he has a wife?!?

Your limited thinking and lack of imagination are frightening, Betty! Perhaps you should make a weekend retreat for some R&R (Re-education and Re-programming) at the K. Marx Renewal Spa.

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Heir Doktor,

I regret to inform you that Betty is, in fact, one of our more progressive thinkers... an early adopter, as it were... It was he who introduced me to the wonders of monkey extract and the need to practice safe use of monkey extract by keeping a power stapler on hand... precisely why I first suspect that it was he who stole my prized nail gun.... and he is a young man named Betty...

Youth does not preclude wisdom and I have found he has much to teach us and to offer the Party, nor is he afraid to ask difficult questions regardless of the penalty. I would call him a maverick, were it not for the obvious negative implications associated with the word, and which has now permanently become tainted by the enemies of Obama - namely old white men and their MILFs.

Betty is a true progressive! We expect great Community Organizing from him!


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Weird science... I knew you'd come up with something to do with that Barbie doll... Abortion Clinic Barbie, wasn't it?... comes with a protest sign that says "keep your laws off my body."... Do you still have the special collectors buttons that came with it?

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Makes me wonder what you're going to do with your Transformers...

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I'm always up for a good vagina yarn, so after giving her a whirl (watch out for a litter of art to be spilled forth in the near future) I decided to put Ms. Shfarts theory to the test. I wandered around the city all day and got so flustered I disassembled a mannequin in a department store just so I could schtup her plastic elbows. The people around me in J.C. Penny's were gasping in shock, but I didn't care because I felt so liberated! Thank you Ms. Shfarts, you've made me and aisle number six true believers!

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Premier Betty. I hate tp disturb your chi. but South Park beat your time machine cat experiment in the episode where some parents tried to fool the kids by bringing home future versions of them.

As for that hideous pregnant man story, I am sorry to say that I accidentally ran across part of that last night. It was the first I heard about it. I was sickened comrades.... what a whiner he/she/it is.

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Dr. Strangelove wrote:
Premier Betty wrote:How did she/he/it (SHIt) come to be pregnant when he has a wife?!?

Your limited thinking and lack of imagination are frightening, Betty! Perhaps you should make a weekend retreat for some R&R (Re-education and Re-programming) at the K. Marx Renewal Spa.

My Good Doctor:

Premier Betty did bring up a good point. Having a wife, how didhesheit reproduce with its
wife , naturally? Call me un-progressive when it come to such things.

As I now have been forced into the world of the Feminine Mystique, (due to my little operation to hide my true identity), I can truthfully say, it sucks to be a woman in a man's world! But when it comes to mustering up rage and deliberate cunning, women win, no contest. Think our glorious MTE!

Now.........on with the purges, comrades...(where the hell are my hormone pills...I'm getting f#$#%#$king hot flashes, damn it!!!


your chef with the feminine side, (anyone gotta problem with that?)

Che' Gourmet

PS: I need Commissar Theocritis to contact the PHK, right away. Gracias.



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Yes, my beloved comrades, but the underlying problem here is that of defined gender roles and assigned functions for organs and body parts. Open your minds, comrades! There is no hetero- or homosexuality. Each individual person is its own sexuality and creates a new sexuality when combined with any given partner(s). Open your progressive minds to multi- and polysexuality.

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Oh, c'mon! This person doesn't even have A Thing!

To think I've been pursuing fame and fortune the hard way all these years. Why didn't I think of this before? All I need to do is get testosterone shots, have my boobs surgically whacked off (though my former classmates will sneer there isn't much to whack off)--and speaking of whacking off, according to this article I don't even need A Thing--and then all I have to do is buy some sperm off the Internet, make wild, passionate love with a plastic syringe and voila! Instant Barbara Walters interview, spread in People magazine, and million dollar book deals!

And if anyone dares to suggest I'm doing this in the name of good old-fashioned capitalism, I'll act affronted and make a speech about how no amount of fame and fortune is worth the ridicule and death threats I've received from the Religious Right; therefore I can only be doing this to Raise Awareness about tolerance and show how much more I care than you do.

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[quote=Commissarka Pinkie"]
make wild, passionate love with a plastic syringe and voila!
[/quote]

Or a turkey baster.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ter%20baby

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I can only say I consider myself a progressive's progressive. Yet this prole offends me. Why you ask? Sheits' whining about not being listed as the father. Sorry, even in the World of Next Tuesday, when a baby pops out from between your legs, you are not the father. Sheits' whining would put to shame the Chairman.

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Yes, Marshal Pup, sheit should be listed as the "oppressor" from which state education must liberate the Child of The PartyTM. The title of "Father" belongs to "The Giver of Life," Great Stalin, alone.

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...Or whoever is in power and is going on an egotistical power trip.

Which seems to happen a lot in socialist governments for some reason....


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I don't understand it either. Why is that dictators always go power hungry and become paranoid? Why can't we all just get along? Why can't pigs fly? Why can't I break the bounds of space time and enter another universal dimension whenever I want and not have to worry about bad stuff happening? Why do we have to have responsibility. I want the government to take care of me!


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Big... confusing... words....

He must be smart! And anyone that smart gets my vote! If I can't understand them, then I want that person running the government!

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All you have to remember, Betty, is, "Yes, we can!"... You don't actually have to... you just have to know that you can and then let others do it for you....

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Forgive my ignorance, comrades, but I am confused. I thought that whites were the oppressor class, and Ivy League whites were the elitists. Thus, wouldn't killing them off as speedily as possible (say, right after insemination) merely be the most efficient use of cradle-to-grave Party resources? Less for the capitalist oppressors with their 'queer theory' and their little games of "post-modern sexuality or post-sexual modernity?" (actual title of a paper I heard at a conference a year or so ago)cheekiness-without-substance, more for the oppressed working classes? Shouldn't she, white, elitist, capitalist, be forced to suffer for her art?

Comrade Shvarts should be enshrined as a great artist, she who has made Purging the Oppressors literally into Art. Immediately order 100 of her sculptures, erm...thingies, for the upcoming People's Inauguration!

(/off)
No, seriously, this really repulses me on like a cellular level. It makes me ashamed to be a white female Ivy League grad.


KR

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KittyRed wrote: (/off)
No, seriously, this really repulses me on like a cellular level. It makes me ashamed to be a white female Ivy League grad.

KR

[kharakter_off] You mean the MTE wasn't enough? [/kharakter_off]


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That's a healthy outlook on life!

Besides, if that pervert Alfred Kinsey says it's true, then it must be!

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I stumbled upon the following link, only to find it was more than I needed or even wanted to know. Therefore, good Progressive that I am, I herewith redistribute it to my fellow comrades:

Pregnant Man Explains Sex to Larry King

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We may all be "sexual fluids," but according to my database and still not discredited transmissions from Laika, you still must be a woman to have a new voter pop out from between one's legs (one that was not consuming oxygen prior to this event for you sticklers). So, in the end, we have one hell of an ugly woman giving birth using someone else's hard earned seed (I know how hard it is to bring good seed forth you know?), who then whines to any pathetic mass media (I know, repeating myself) he can find to plead how sheit is being victimized.

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I think s/h/it just wants attention. And being a transgendered freak seems to be a good way to do so.



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Premier Betty wrote:What the f**k....

Korrekt, Premier Betty! You are the new Jeopardy champion!

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W007!!one!

What do I win... wait, trick question. Winning is forbidden. What do I... um... uhh....

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Premier Betty wrote:W007!!one!

What do I win... wait, trick question. Winning is forbidden. What do I... um... uhh....

One all-expense-paid night of magic with Madam Speaker Pelosi and Mr. Reno in a reenactment of their version of the Kennedy-Dodd waitress sandwich! You; Betty, in case you're wondering, will be playing the part of the waitress!

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I think I will be fashionably late to that... um, "event".

That is if NEVER is considered fashionably late.

Now to bang my head against a hard object to try to forget that.


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Did anyone expect that? At least she knows how to cut and paste; the edukational system works!


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And yet it is every hippie's dream come true. What else do you expect from the people that will be licking our boots come the revolution?

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That is so pathetic....
No it isn't. Mikael, Andrew and Dennis beg to differ
This may be the most important Christmas ornament ever in the history of mankind.

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She's a hottie! Grrrrrr....Woof! Woof!
A perfect specimen of what a liberal artist should look like.
Very progressive indeed.
Love the combo Moe Howard/Prince Valiant DIY hairdo.

Sorry girls or maybe even guys...notice the wedding band, she's taken.

Mikael
Andrew
Dennis

Hmmm....and I used to think it stood for "Mutually Assured Destruction".

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http://impeachforpeace.org/impeach_bush_blog/?p=5866

Artist Deborah Lawrence's anti-Bush Christmas tree ornament (advocating impeachment) would have been a superb thing to display. The White House should not have decided not to display Lawrence's gorgeous ornament—it was a pig-headed decision.

Even though it seems that efforts at impeachment would not have culminated in impeachment of George W. Bush, hard work directed at impeachment is very useful in that it really says something where the pursuit of impeachment against George W. Bush would have been more steadfast and pervasive than in the case of any other U.S. president against whom impeachment was considered. It shows just how much the American people hate George W. Bush. The American people cannot tolerate George W. Bush.

In any case, George W. Bush shall go down in history in infamy.

Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993

Comment by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang — December 4, 2008 @ 4:24 pm

Impeachment is all I support.
Dennis M Mccullough
A28.ORG

Comment by Dennis M Mccullough — December 5, 2008 @ 2:23 pm

Is there no level too low for Bush for stoop? Is it not enough that he stole two elections? Was he not sated by the slaughter of millions of innocent men, women and children to satisfy his bloodlust for oil and world dominance? Apparently not. Now he's rejecting tree ornaments because they represent the truth! By doing this he has denied Deborah Lawrence her right to freedom of speech! Yes, he has gagged her and silenced her as surely as he does all who don't march in lockstep with his brutal regime. Bush is the Worst President in U.S. History and the Worst Human Being in ALL History! Plus he's racist because he didn't vote for Obama. Obama should be inaugurated NOW before Bush steals the next four years from him, all sources say that's what he's going to do. Put nothing past him, fellow Americans, for there's nothing Bush won't do to silence us and hold on to his ill-gotten power over the planet. IMPEACH/EVICT now while there's still time because time has run out!!!!! Obama 12 and beyond!

Comment by Mimi — December 6, 2008 @ 11:54 am

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Is there no level too low for Bush for stoop? Is it not enough that he stole two elections? Was he not sated by the slaughter of millions of innocent men, women and children to satisfy his bloodlust for oil and world dominance? Apparently not. Now he's rejecting tree ornaments because they represent the truth! By doing this he has denied Deborah Lawrence her right to freedom of speech! Yes, he has gagged her and silenced her as surely as he does all who don't march in lockstep with his brutal regime. Bush is the Worst President in U.S. History and the Worst Human Being in ALL History! Plus he's racist because he didn't vote for Obama. Obama should be inaugurated NOW before Bush steals the next four years from him, all sources say that's what he's going to do. Put nothing past him, fellow Americans, for there's nothing Bush won't do to silence us and hold on to his ill-gotten power over the planet. IMPEACH/EVICT now while there's still time because time has run out!!!!! Obama 12 and beyond!

Comment by Mimi — December 6, 2008 @ 11:54 am

44 days and ticking…tick, tick, tick.
And that isn't a clock. It's the tick in all the Impeachment weenies brains.
Don't worry, with all the free helath care Obama has promised, I'm sure you'll all be eligible for BDS treatment.
That's also the ugliest ornament I've ever seen. It looks like something a sociopath would cut out of magazines and newpapers for a ransome note.
Sour grapes for a Merry Christmas.
OMG! I typed Merry Christmas! Please don't delete this post!

Comment by Chubby Huggs — December 7, 2008 @ 10:15 am

I'm sorry, I mistyped "Health". Dennis understands.

Comment by Chubby Huggs — December 7, 2008 @ 10:16 am

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Ahhhh!..... I get it!!

Comrade Commissarka Pinkie,

I hope you are beginning to feel better and that Andrew has not forgotten to use fabric softener while he plays with his very special Sit'n'spin... at least you will not have to give him a bath tonight.

But I must explain my expression of epiphany... I was recently confused about a very short post you put up in another thread, that simply read, "Dennis?"... I believe Laika may have been confused at the time as well... Now I understand... you were of the opinion that whomever it was that was posting, the individual to whom you were responding, was Dennis, of Dennis M Mccullough fame... Have I finally solved this conundrum which has been taking up much of my pointless existence of late? Let it be so, for I cannot stand not knowing who "Dennis?" is...

Your Sister... MO

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Yes, that was the Dennis of whom I spoke. But Laika thought I had him mixed up with someone else as the post in question was left by someone who called themselves "Enlightened Too Late" or something like that, and Laika asserts Dennis is anything but enlightened.

I still have the cough but no other symptoms, so I'm hoping it'll clear up in a day or two. I did see your advice to LnT on another thread--I think she's in AZ, while I'm in FL. Please don't hate us this time of year because of where we live.

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Yo G! ((I wouldn't dare say Ho to you-quick-of-the-sharp-shovel))

Who is this Dennis M Mccullough cat? What corner does he work in da hood?

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:
That is so pathetic....
No it isn't. Mikael, Andrew and Dennis beg to differ
This may be the most important Christmas ornament ever in the history of mankind.

Image
She's a hottie! Grrrrrr....Woof! Woof!
A perfect specimen of what a liberal artist should look like.
Very progressive indeed.
Love the combo Moe Howard/Prince Valiant DIY hairdo.

Sorry girls or maybe even guys...notice the wedding band, she's taken.

Mikael
Andrew
Dennis

Hmmm....and I used to think it stood for "Mutually Assured Destruction".

The artist is Micky Dolenz in drag?!

Image Image

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:
That is so pathetic....
No it isn't. Mikael, Andrew and Dennis beg to differ
This may be the most important Christmas ornament ever in the history of mankind.

Image
She's a hottie! Grrrrrr....Woof! Woof!
A perfect specimen of what a liberal artist should look like.
Very progressive indeed.
Love the combo Moe Howard/Prince Valiant DIY hairdo.

Sorry girls or maybe even guys...notice the wedding band, she's taken.

Mikael
Andrew
Dennis

Hmmm....and I used to think it stood for "Mutually Assured Destruction".

Yes comrade that picture reminds me of a great song.


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That was awesome. Disgusting? Yes, but still awesome.

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Premier Betty wrote:That was awesome. Disgusting? Yes, but still awesome.

Like this?


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I saw that on the related videos sidebar. Didn't feel brave enough to watch it though. That moment has passed though....


 
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