Shucks, I thought the ranch was real, commissar (busily he scrambles to reroute his plane tickets) and um open for the use of other comrades (hurriedly he scrambles to find the receipts for the cases of ouzo) and their, um, friends (surreptitiously he text messages his fifty hot comrade babes) ...well, uh, never mind.

Thanks to Sebastian at Snowflakes in Hell

Rex, the ranch is not actually a ranch but is very real. Do not cancel your crates of ouzi, nor retsina. You <i>did</i> plan on retsina, didn't you? That resinous flavor goes so well with the barbecue off the stakes I've impaled ungrateful people on.

Ah, the quandary. If you have creosote-marinated steaks, they impose a flavor which is hard to match with a wine. Retsina is the best so far. The tannins in some reds clash. And the sauce--creosote simply fights with any spice or herb except rosemary, but that allows for garlic.

Where is Che Gourmet? We need him now.

NO RANCH! I was planning on having my post-Obama fling at your ranch as soon as I figured out how many rivers I would have to cross after wading my dear Trinity River.

And must have Retsina (or Pine-Sol®) for the perfect Post-[HIGHLIGHT=#ff0000]O[/HIGHLIGHT]-after-taste.

A west Texas party would be great--can I shoot empty Tequila bottles off cacti with my Mosin rifle at your ranch?

Oh, and the menu must have my favorite Houston dish from my days at the old Cadillac Bar:

Cabrito al pastor- whole carcass is opened flat and impaled on a spit next to a bed of glowing embers and roasted slowly

Comrades, I must confess in moments of weakness I would gladly sleep with the low IQ female slutty obamamesia fanatics. I couldn't help myself comrades, please forgive me! It's just that one mention of the death of fetus sent them falling on their backs with their legs in the air! It was just so easy I couldn't help myself. One obamamesia supporter actually pleasured me orally on an airplane recently when she mistook my NRA life member pin for a “Starve the Kulaks pin!” (Speaker of the House) Anyway I'm so glad we live in a country where a high party member with significant revolutionary ties can control the Pravda to steal an election for the people! All hail Big Ear Cocaine Osama! He is the chosen one!

Freedomslave wrote:It's just that one mention of the death of fetus sent them falling on their backs with their legs in the air!

Indeed. Since Roe v Wade there is no consequence for a woman's spreading of her legs. Well, herpes but there's Valtrex. Which may explain Nansky's lips, come to think of it.

Pul, of course you may shoot tequila bottles off cacti. That is those cacti which have not been used to impale reactionary Rethuglicans. Or have been mistaken for the legs of Our Many Titted Empress or Rosie O'Donnell when they were both here, shit-faced drunk and demanded that Bruno shave them.

It took him, poor sod, two entire liters of my finest Bombay Sapphire Gin, sorry, that's Mumbai Non-Conflict Gin, to get drunk enough to do it without throwing up first. And the John Deere that he uses for the yard rebelled, hence the destroyed cacti.

Freedomslave wrote:Comrades, I must confess in moments of weakness I would gladly sleep with the low IQ female slutty obamamesia fanatics. I couldn't help myself comrades, please forgive me! It's just that one mention of the death of fetus sent them falling on their backs with their legs in the air! It was just so easy I couldn't help myself. One obamamesia supporter actually pleasured me orally on an airplane recently when she mistook my NRA life member pin for a “Starve the Kulaks pin!” (Speaker of the House) Anyway I'm so glad we live in a country where a high party member with significant revolutionary ties can control the Pravda to steal an election for the people! All hail Big Ear Cocaine Osama! He is the chosen one!

Sorry, comrade, but the party just thinks that it's better to spread the women around. We're not taking your gorgeous females from you, necessarily, we're just using them to give to those who don't yet have the benefit of gorgeous females. Instead, the state will appoint for you a female compensatory with your position in the party and use your gorgeous female for those who are, um, less well off.

Here is your SAF ^tm (State Appointed Female ):

The party is sure that with this new form of sexuality everyone will benefit when we really spread the love around.

Oh, and see the thread on Wealthspread ^tm, comrade. I little dose of Wealthspread ^tm and you will find your SAF ^tm very attractive (esp. if you first mix the Wealthspread ^tm with a healthy case of vodka!)

Here are four females. One of them is a Rethuglican and is not a State Appointed Female. But you may have any of the three remaining ones:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/xht0HcPryWA&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Ah. Now I feel better for having Bruno.

Who is still up for adoption. Anyone? Bruno? He comes with the Chairman's hummels.

Citizen,

Rosie O' Fatass? Great Cesar's ghost! I heard that she was a Thespian! As anyone knows she is a "sexual Medusa"! Instead of turning to stone when you see her, you turn into Charles Nelson Reilly! Avert your eyes, and save your sexual identity!


Publius

<character>Am I the only person on earth who thinks of Charles Nelson Reilly when he sees Jim Carey?

Decision '08

Free sex toys - and much more - for voting

Just when you thought it was safe to focus on the issues in this historic election season, a chain of sex toy shops has joined retailers, restaurateurs and other businesses across the nation in the time-honored tradition of rewarding Americans who go to the polls...

Red Square wrote:Decision '08

Free sex toys - and much more - for voting

Just when you thought it was safe to focus on the issues in this historic election season, a chain of sex toy shops has joined retailers, restaurateurs and other businesses across the nation in the time-honored tradition of rewarding Americans who go to the polls...

{{{Obnoxious Picture here}}}}

Wow. Used to be it was bread and circuses could buy the vote of the plebes; now it seems that Strapon Buffalo Boys ^tm and MacFisto Rotating Orgasmatrons ^tm do the trick of ushering in the new dictators.

Rex, at the last summit held here at Rancho de Rio Grande it was decided that all 300 million serfs here in the United Soon-to-be-Socialist States of America (USSSA), are not breeding enough party-approved proles to do the people's work. And therefore we shall issue every American serf a blow-up doll of Our Many Titted Empress to practice making little proles with.

Please remind me of your mailing address so that I may send you yours early for a review to be published on Amazon.ru.

Red Square wrote:Decision '08

Free sex toys - and much more - for voting

Just when you thought it was safe to focus on the issues in this historic election season, a chain of sex toy shops has joined retailers, restaurateurs and other businesses across the nation in the time-honored tradition of rewarding Americans who go to the polls...

{{{Obnoxious Picture here}}}}

[kharakter_off]So if you voted for Obama, you can go f*** yourself.[/kharakter_off]

The Barackdo?

Dr. Strangelove wrote:The Barackdo?

Government is best when applied vigorously to every nook and crannie.

BillyBorscht wrote:

Dr. Strangelove wrote:The Barackdo?

Government is best when applied vigorously to every nook and crannie.

Every crook and granny?

Or this, posted by some nameless Commissar?


(Red, feel free to excise.)

Eeeeewwww....

OK Dems, that's fine with me. After a generation of that policy we'd have a super-race of smart, capable progeny of conservative Republicans and a lot of weak, spoiled, snot-nosed wimps, geeks and homosexuals. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who would rule the world after that. Pinko-commies, of course!

Count the number of "believes" in this video. Didn't our fearless leader Lenin ban religion?

Religion is the opium of the people: this saying of Marx is the cornerstone of the entire ideology of Marxism about religion. All modern religions and churches, all and of every kind of religious organizations are always considered by Marxism as the organs of bourgeois reaction, used for the protection of the exploitation and the stupefaction of the working class.

Suggested update for modern gen x future homo americaticus:

Sexytime is the playtime of the people: this saying of anonymous apparatchik is the foundation of the entire animalistic impulses of proletariat genitalia. All modern orgies and sex-clubs, all and of every kind of gangbang are always considered by the party toad as the sex organs of spontaneous emissions, used without protection on the exploited prostitute of the bourgeois worker and orgasmification of the working class.

Can I have my catnip back now?

They are also considered expressions of free speech and shouldn't be censored/banned.

Great, we know those narcist liberal bullies will abort all their babies, performing their own genicide! Taking the fantasy existence they live for with them ... then

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Conservatism will become realism.[/HIGHLIGHT]



<<< Son of Frank Marshall Davis, communist poet.

That's why we indoctrinate all the conservative's kids in our publik skools. NO ONE IS SAFE!!!!

The video is not available?

They do that a lot. Erasing the past to cover up what they thought was a good idea at the time, but now realize was a big mistake.

See the disclaimer: "The Current Truth (subject to change without notice)"

The video is back on though. I guess the Truth(tm) Changed(tm) again.

Would you expect otherwise? Truth is relative.

Isn't relativity an Einstein's thing? I heard Einstein was a Jew. Jews=Capitalists. I think we should declare Einstein as an unperson and claim Osama invented relativity.

The Skinnee Jay wrote:Isn't relativity an Einstein's thing? I heard Einstein was a Jew. Jews=Capitalists. I think we should declare Einstein as an unperson and claim Osama invented relativity.

Progress is ALL about relativity...and the whole "free love" motif ties in perfectly with our collective thinking. Sex yields relatives. And the more relatives you have, the more in-breeding you come across. And so, you keep it in the family, so to speak.

The side effects of such are all positive, too. Loss of brain performance ensures a compliant populace. Mental hanicaps mean more dependents on the State, which also assures our hold on power.

To the three girls I "met" at separate watering holes around Stalingrad last weekend:

I voted for Obama. I still respect you. I'll call you later.

DDR Kamerad wrote:Progress is ALL about relativity...and the whole "free love" motif ties in perfectly with our collective thinking. Sex yields relatives. And the more relatives you have, the more in-breeding you come across. And so, you keep it in the family, so to speak.

INCEST: The Game the Whole Family Can Play!

Eeewwww....

INCEST: The Game the Whole Family Can Play!

I don't know about full-blown incest, but I do know cousins is good fer practice...

If it's good enough for West Virginians, it can't be that bad!

Premier Betty wrote:Eeewwww....

I knew I could count on you, Betty.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Premier Betty wrote:Eeewwww....

I knew I could count on you, Betty.

Yay me!

By the way guys, I believe sex somehow, renders the mind useless during the intercourse. Using sex, we could kill thoughts, thus eliminating thought crime. After all, we all should live in a world where we only care about our pleasure-sex, drugs and punk rock 'n' roll (Other rock genres are thoughtcrime). We also must silence everyone who says anything bad about feelings. Feeling is natural, so it's good. Thinking is NOT.

Comrades, A new miracle scientific breakthough is now available from The Wombat Factory(TM)... Maybe this antecdote could help a few comrades provide proper assfixation for what ails Sex and The Democrats...

This sounds as though it should sponsor a fisting movie.

The setting for the movie should be a Massachusetts high school.

Obamacon Suppositories for a movie full of 12 year olds and sponsoring fisting? Remind me not to follow your links anymore Dr. Strangelove. I'll be at Jiffi-Lobo if you need me...

Uh, Doctor, I have done things which might make Jerry Fallwell blench, which is saying something considering where he is now, but that link...

I'll be with Red Rooster at Jiffi-Lobo. I was overdue for a tune-up anyway.

But Theo, the movie was your idea! Anyway, might I suggest trying out the new Jiffi-Lobo Ray Gun?™

Seems like the Dems would consider inter-species sex immoral and just stick with the same-species, same-gender sex they've always enjoyed. Or are they getting progressively kinkier? Or is that even possible? Hmmm

That's quite a bit of ass-play.

Yeah I'll say, it's like Old #9 meets Gus at Follies Bergere.

Life imitates the People's Cube again!

Rock the Vote Asks Supporters to Withhold Sex to Pass Health Care Reform

I AM NOT A SLUT!

Contrary to popular belief, I will not sleep around with just anyone, and I have the pledges to prove it!

In addition to my pledges not to have sex with Republicans or anyone who doesn't support health care reform, I also have these:

I PLEDGE never to have sex with anyone who doesn't believe in human-caused global warming. Those of you deniers who laugh at and mock those of us who believe, as Al Gore said, that it is Our Choice to answer the call to save the planet now, will find out just how foolish your own choice is when you can no longer find anyone willing to join you in the joy you've gotten all these millions of years out of burdening an already overburdened planet with ever more polluting humans.

I PLEDGE never to have sex with anyone who bought Sarah Palin's book or otherwise supports her in any way. Her frightening rise to power, without benefit of affirmative action, Ivy League education, compelling life story involving poverty and public housing, or even being some philanderer's wronged wife/widow, has only stopped the entire feminist movement in its tracks, placing it in grave danger of becoming obsolete or worse, as extinct as the polar bears! A Palin supporter is clearly dead set against women, so why would I want to have sex with someone who's against my sex?

I PLEDGE never to have sex with anyone who owns a gun. My mama, Yelling Yelena, told me guys like that never shoot blanks, and if they can't aim or control the trigger, the damn thing could go off and scatter shot everywhere but the target.

I PLEDGE never to have sex with anyone who watches Fox News or listens to talk radio. If you're just another slack-jawed helpless, clueless dumbass who needs someone to tell you what to think, then it clearly follows you'll need someone to tell you what to do when it comes to pleasing me in bed. And I'm damned if I'm going to be the one to do it. That's what the government is for.

I PLEDGE never to have sex with someone who believes in abstinence and saving it for “that special someone” even if they tell me I'm that special someone. Talk about oppression. As a Prog, I should be able to make that choice for myself! Besides, anyone with half a brain will tell you that sexual abstinence of ANY kind in ANY degree is totally unrealistic and an utter joke— young people are going to do it anyway no matter what. All those abstinence-only classes (Christofascist indoctrination if you ask me) and hokey promise rings and t-shirts are nothing but meaningless little feel good gimmicks that are poor substitutes for a good old-fashioned novelty condom!

As I said, comrades, not just anyone. I am picky and selective and choosy. In fact, I'll bet you're in awe that any man has ever gone all the way with me at all!

Promote Healthcare with STD's!



Glorious useful idiots, the lobotomies from Jiffi-Lobo are prevalent on there faces, excellent work Commissar Theocritus, excellent work Dr. Fuku!

Model New Citizens!

RR, she does indeed have that certain je-ne-sais-quoi look that a successful Jiffi-Lobo session will bring.

I hope all Mad Progs realize that Jiffi-Lobo is the most equal of all institutions--before Jiffi-Lobo I was considered, and I blush to say it, intelligent, but since I have had my skull reamed out over and over I can believe six impossible things before breakfast, and I can even outshout Yelling Yelena.

Now Pinkie, don't get your grey people's knickers in a twist over that--you wouldn't want Yo Mama Yelling Yelena to get a big head, would you? I'm just doing her a service lest she get a big head. And although there is something to be said for the sheer screechiness of Yelling Yelena, I do have a barrel chest and a baritone voice and so am equipped to do The People's Shouting.

When I'm not soiling myself after my most recent trip to Jiffi-Lobo.