Hollywood is abuzz about the latest spat between African-American superstars Will Smith and Denzel Washington for the privilege of playing the lead in the Obama biopic to be directed by the Do the Right Thing man himself, Mr. Spike Lee, who reputedly demanded a $50 million directing-and-producing fee. The $1bn Lukas-Spielberg-Geffen-Winfrey production will also feature Samuel Z. Jackson as Obama pere and Beyonce as Mrs. Obama. The latter will perform such new Quincy Jones soon-to-be hits as Ch-ch-changes (He Comin') and We Is Who We Waits For.

The film stars' contracts are said to contain an unusual clause of guarantees of Grammies and Tonies for Beyonce and Mr. Quincy Jones and a Best Director Oscar and a Palme d'Or at Cannes for Mr. Lee. The latter was the easy part, according to our Paris correspondent Lily Lui. "The French are like so into Le Saveur, they want him to march down Champs d'Elysees and name a Champagne after him.

"Not to be outdone by the European Union's activists, Denzel Washington's legal team has whipped up the artistic community's enthusiasm by claiming that playing the role of Barack Obama is not some "privilege"granted by rich, Caucasian, and possibly Jewish producers, but a civil right and an entitlement that comes from a higher authority, such as, the United Nations Commission on Human Rights (UNCHR), or at least a U.S. Supreme Court filled by Obama-appointed justices.

"The melanine factor in deciding a person's right to entitlements goes back to the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who said that people should be judged, not by the content of their character but by the color of their skin - which also happens to be the foundation of Obama's political platform," said Washington's legal team's representative, pointing out that his client deserves the part more because his skin has a darker tint than that of Mr. Will Smith's.

Denzel Washington's legal team further accused Mr. Smith of lacking political courage for not refusing the leading roles in such unabashedly right-wing flicks as Independence Day and The Pursuit of Happyness that whitewashed the impenetrable gloom of living in America, thus contradicting the current truth about the United States portrayed in Obama's political videos.

Their client Mr. Washington, on the other hand, had always been on the forefront of fighting for social and economic justice in Training Day and American Gangster.

Will Smith's legal team refuted the charges by saying that Mr. Smith's critically acclaimed screen characters perfectly match the Obama campaign's subliminal PR message designed to paint the historical Black candidate as an idealist who believes in White middle class values - in contrast to Mr. Washington's cynical image of a sleazy community organizer in American Gangster.

It is rumored that a coalition of community groups collectively known as ACORN has pressured the Civil Rights Commission to settle the case out of court by equally redistributing the right to play Barack Obama among Mr. Washington, Mr. Smith, and five other actors who have filed similar lawsuits, only one of whom is an African native. The others include a Pacific Islander, a Hindu, a non-Black Latino from Puerto Rico, and an Asian middle-aged female transvestite with a Tourette's syndrome. The actors are expected to take turns playing Obama for an equal amount of time, in an equal amount of scenes.

The road to Broadway seems a rockier one due to the producers' disagreements over the genre of the new production. While Lucas-Spielberg tend toward an Obamadrama, Oprah and Geffen would like to see Obama! The Musical. The opinion of ACORN activists on this matter has not yet been formed.

* * *
Special reporting by Colonel von Gurevich; additional reporting by Red Square

I believe Lil Bow Wow would be the most progressive choice, as he can encourage the 14 year olds to vote.

Comrade Colonel von Gurevich,

Thank you for correcting the Dr. Martin Luther King quote. I knew he had been misquoted, that his false quote had escaped the notice of our comrades in the textbook industry due to the slick operations of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy. I look forward to President Obama and his two Democrat-majority houses) correcting all textbook to reflect the Truth of Hope and Change:

"The melanine factor in deciding a person's right to entitlements goes back to the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who said that people should be judged, not by the content of their character but by the color of their skin - which also happens to be the foundation of Obama's political platform."

I think I just heard Comrades Jackson, Sharpton, and Farrakhan shout praise appropriate to their religious opiates of choice.

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Some H' Wood producers have hinted toward Norbit.

The Obamessiah is all things to all non-joe-the-plumber proles. They will have to use at least four different actors to catch just the more common aspects of The One.

My money's on Denzel. He'd make a fine Obamassiah.

Has anyone considered Leonard Nimoy? He would not need to play the role in black-face, as the supreme essence of our glorious messiah transcends ethnicity.

lqxpl wrote:Has anyone considered Leonard Nimoy? He would not need to play the role in black-face, as the supreme essence of our glorious messiah transcends ethnicity.

Excuse me but does Obama have pointy ears?

Yes! Yes! That is the man. He is the dopple-ganger of our infallible leader (whose charisma is so powerful, that his copy was born decades before him).

Spock, nimoys alter-ego had pointy ears. The mighty semitic Nimoy would be a wonderful Obamessiah.

AbecedariusRex wrote:My money's on Denzel. He'd make a fine Obamassiah.

Liked the blog, especially this pic: Buzzard-Americans for Obama.

Comrades,

I think Nigerian musician extraordinaire Fela Ransome Kuti would be an excellent choice to play Obama:

1. Fela was sometimes billed as the Black President, even releasing an album named so.
2. Fela was 100% African, which is like Obama's 50% but moreso, which makes him more authentic than the real thing.
3. Fela, as a Nigerian, will be able to act naturally in a wholly corrupt political environment, such as a simulated Chicago.
4. Fela once had a commune (Kalakuta Republic, that the state destroyed), which is kinda like Obama's communism.
5. Fela once had 27 wives, including members of the elite, so he will have affinity for romance scenes.
6. Fela was well known for big honkin' mind-blowing joints. Comrade Obama knows pakalolo, too.
7. Fela knows Music is a weapon, as does the Obama campaign with its groupthink songs for children and active recruitment of musicians.
8. Fela was influenced by the Black Power movement when he visited the US in the late '60s, so he too can feel his inner rage.
9. Fela was anti-capitalist and anti-corporatist, with songs like "ITT: International Thief Thief," so he understands Obama's policies.
10. Fela wrote a song called "Expensive Sh*t" (the story behind it is good), which again shows an understanding of Obama's policies.
11. Fela studied abroad, as did Obama, and thus has some command of intercultural communication and appeal.<br>12. Fela wrote a song about police and military forces called "Zombie (link to a memorial performance)," which again shows an understanding of Obama's cult of personality and planned armed civilian security/enforcement/confiscation corps or whatever it's called.
13. Fela sometimes jammed with radical white musicians, so he can understand Obama's jamming with radical white radicals like Ayers.

Additionally, Fela is Nigerian and thus might be able to employ a domestic version of the 914 scam to help Comrade Obama pay for our social programs. In short, he could be an actor and advisor. Two for the price of one, comrades!

That Fela is dead doesn't matter, for so is Comrade Obama, mentally. Fela's son might be a good substitute, however.

My vote [figuratively speaking] is for Maaz Al Shami. How better to show cultural awareness and sensitivity and make the world love us [more]?

People take photographs of a Maaz Al Shami (Damascene goat), which won the "Most Beautiful Goat" title, during the Mazayen al-Maaz competition in Riyadh Oct. 31, 2008. (Xinhua/Reuters Photo)

Comrade Red Bubba,

A choice choice with both agrarian and proletarian appeal. Moreover, we know Comrade Obama will "go at" all manner of class enemies, reactionaries, and such.

On an unrelated note, I've enjoyed goat curry. It left a pleasant aftertaste, a bit gamey and the meat rather spartan, but also a mildly malodorous aroma some hours later. In this way, too, it is not unlike my physical responses to Comrade Obama's pontifications and uplifting oratory.

I've had hear of farmers who refused to sell goats to Muslim students when their ritual slaughtering festivals were approaching.

Red Bubba wrote:
{{{picture of goat}}}

People take photographs of a Maaz Al Shami (Damascene goat), which won the "Most Beautiful Goat" title, during the Mazayen al-Maaz competition in Riyadh Oct. 31, 2008. (Xinhua/Reuters Photo)

Holy spumoni! There's a "most beautiful goat" competition? That explains a lot. Most beautiful woman vs. most beautiful goat. Values comrades?

Attractive?



Attractive?

Tovarich wrote:I've had hear of farmers who refused to sell goats to Muslim students when their ritual slaughtering festivals were approaching.

This is a case for ACORN! Farmers should be compelled to sell goats to Muslims for the time of ritual slaughtering. I'm sure that PETA will join in, since PETA kills about 90% of the animals that it takes into care. The purpose of course is not the animal but the group to be appeased. If the ritual slaughtering requires Republican children, so be it.

Also, is this not grist for the mill of the EEOC? Is this not a hate crime??

As a matter of fact, there was once a case of a college student going to Mexico on spring break, and being kidnapped and ritually killed by devotees of Santeria. Who also sacrifice nobler animals like chickens and snakes. Since our constitution requires freedom of religion, should we not be required to provide college students for ritual sacrifice?

Most beautiful silicone. The CEO of DuPont is breathing heavily right now. "Dr. Frankenstein, you have nothing on me."

AbecedariusRex wrote:

What is this word "values"? Surely you would not suggest that a culture that wraps up its women while the men wear white dresses and put pink napkins on thier heads to attend a goat beauty contest is somehow different? We are all the same.

Red Bubba wrote:

Where did you find this picture of Ann Durham?

--
ZB

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Since our constitution requires freedom of religion, should we not be required to provide college students for ritual sacrifice?

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

May I humbly suggest not college students but college professors, the older the better? Elderly ones are more likely to hold reactionary values that need extermination. Doing so literally on the altar of multiculturalism would be fitting. But all elderly eventually become a drag on the state, even professors. In fact, since radicalism wanes, even in professors of Radicalism Studies, it is best to preserve the young who are better able to carry the Revolution forward.

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Since our constitution requires freedom of religion, should we not be required to provide college students for ritual sacrifice?

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

May I humbly suggest not college students but college professors, the older the better? Elderly ones are more likely to hold reactionary values that need extermination. Doing so literally on the altar of multiculturalism would be fitting. But all elderly eventually become a drag on the state, even professors. In fact, since radicalism wanes, even in professors of Radicalism Studies, it is best to preserve the young who are better able to carry the Revolution forward.

If we get to devour the sacrificial immolation afterwards, I'd say that older professors wouldn't be so good; they're tough and stringy, most of them, and taste of hemp, though occasionally there is the sweet strain of liquor pickling the flesh. No, I'd say go for the young ones - a co-ed or some sweet strain of liberal idiot. That makes for good eating.

Aaarggghh!
I FEAST!


"come here, Brendan boy!!!!!!!!!"

Does it matter? I have just risen, in the middle of the night, to see the results of the election. The Chosen one has, at 4 AM been chosen with 349 electoral votes, including New Hampshire and Indiana. Truly this is change we can believe in. And our friends in Iran can believe in this change too. Our friends in Brussels and Stockholm and Berlin can believe in this change too.

How I so look forward to the triumphalist parties in Hollywood, with the jeering at the Republicans. How wonderful it will be to have Supreme Court judges picked by what they can do to the law. To have the rule of law replaced by social justice. To let the world know that America has thrown over its warmongering ways, and that America embraces the European welfare state.

I hear that Tom Daschle or Rahm Emmanuel might be our next chief of staff. I couldn't ask for meaner people. And that's a <i>good</i> thing.

Pardon me while I sob. In happiness, of course. At last hated American values are brought low by the American public, who have proven that a constant barrage of lies by a free press can start to extinguish the sole powerful light of freedom on this world.

Which certainly does not deserve it.

AbecedariusRex wrote:If we get to devour the sacrificial immolation afterwards, I'd say that older professors wouldn't be so good; they're tough and stringy, most of them, and taste of hemp, though occasionally there is the sweet strain of liquor pickling the flesh. No, I'd say go for the young ones - a co-ed or some sweet strain of liberal idiot. That makes for good eating.

Ah, 'tis true. Your perception of the intellectually flabby, soft, juicy, and non-numerical parts of academy is uncannily accurate.

It will also be delightful to quote for real a line from a zombie movie I saw oh so many moons ago when the US dwelled in racism, ignorance, and oppression that ended yesterday night: "If you love me, you'll let me eat your brains!"

Of course, it can be updated, too: "If you love Obama, you'll let him eat your brains, buttered with WealthSpread."

I'm going to try to enjoy playing with language until NewSpeak is enforced.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pardon me while I sob. In happiness, of course. At last hated American values are brought low by the American public, who have proven that a constant barrage of lies by a free press can start to extinguish the sole powerful light of freedom on this world.

Which certainly does not deserve it.

The thought of reactionaries recovering senses and seats enough to bring gridlock in 2010 doesn't inspire me with Hope for Change. And should the economy and markets bounce up on a business cycle, 2010 will mean unhindered Obamunism until 2012 at the best, which will be enough to last many more political cycles.

The least Obama, Inc. could do is legalize pakalolo so I can maintain enlightenment or at least a pleasant stupor of indifference to decay. If I'm lucky, it'll do for me what it did just once and does for people in Reefer Madness, because there's not much else to laugh about right now.

Comrades, I suggest that you do not turn on the television, lest you be deafened by the shrill shouts of joy. Painful to the ears.

I suggest Mozart. And Bach. Whom I turn to in all bad times.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrades, I suggest that you do not turn on the television, lest you be deafened by the shrill shouts of joy. Painful to the ears.

I suggest Mozart. And Bach. Whom I turn to in all bad times.

We all have our favorites, da? My choices at the moment are E.C., SRV, and B.B.

Blues reign...

Plus a little Cash, Yoakam, and Jennings to satisfy my newfound appreciation of redneck music...

Salute, comrades...SALUTE!!!!!!!!!!

To quote a phrase from Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange..."the Ninth...the glorious Ninth!"...or thereabouts....you know what I mean if you are a Kubrick fan.

I believe Shostakovich and Prokofiev are more in order, comrades. Victorious. Exultant. They will wing our victory as Wagner lifted the National Socialists of yore.

Pavda, I do know Kubrik, and Burgess too. The Blu-ray of that movie is superlatively good. Although if know other Kubrik remember that after Hal killed all the people in 2001 except Dave Bowman, Bowman found peace in Bach--although that may be from the novel by Arthur C. Clarke instead of the movie.

I recommend "The Goldberg Variations" and Mozart's piano concerti, the finest series of music written, even better than Beethoven's piano sonatas. The 20th in d minor is fine. K466.

That soothes the savage Commissar.

lqxpl wrote:I believe Shostakovich and Prokofiev are more in order, comrades. Victorious. Exultant. They will wing our victory as Wagner lifted the National Socialists of yore.

Da, comrade. Lieutenant Kije Suite is appropriate for Obamessiah.

Ivan, by all means let's reconsider Prokofiev. I think that <i>Alexander Nevsky</i> is suitable. Wasn't that the music in <i>The Omen</i>? If you're looking for music for demonic possession, it's Nevsky or <i>Carmina Burana</i> by Orff.

I really enjoy the Kunst der Fugue as performed by Glenn Gould. If not that then the Missa Brevis by Palestrina or the Miserere by Allegri (there's a great arrangement by Vladimir Ivanov). I also really like the album "Nuova Musiche" by the lutenist Rolf Lislevand; and anything by Ravi Shankar floats my duckies.

OH, and perhaps appropriately now, the Symphony of Sorrowful Songs by Henryk Gorecki.

Rex, thanks for the recommendations. In odd times I usually fall back on Mozart's requiem, or Bach's "Goldberg Variations." I have four versions of that on the iPod in my car, and more on the iMac feeding my house stereo. Kurt Rodamar does it on the guitar, playing with himself, and it works. There is of course the 1982 Gould one. A company called <a href="https://zenph.com/sept25.html">Zenph</a> took the 1955 Gould recording, analyzed it with a computer, extracted the notes, turned it into a MIDI file and set a Yamaha piano to playing it. The new MIDI specification is a good deal better. It's a SACD, and one version has it in 5.1 channel, the other in binaural as though you were Gould. It's a marvel of technology but it's not Gould. Worth having, but not Gould.

I also like Haydn masses.

Sometimes, though, it's time for a wallow. Bach transcriptions for orchestra (Esa-Pekka Salonen with the LA Philharmonic) does some. They're kitschy, sweet, and overdramatic but once a year, perhaps.

AbecedariusRex wrote: I also really like the album "Nuova Musiche" by the lutenist Rolf Lislevand...

Here are two videos of Lislevand on the album Nuova Musiche. Enjoyment for you, comrades! (Comrade Theocritus, close the eyes, mull the cognac, and check these out)

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<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/m0AhRDuo6sk&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I had thought that perhaps Scott Lawrence would be a good fit.

Unfortunately he is a capitalist pitchman for hotels, and formerly played a Navy lawyer on the imperialist TV series JAG.

Rex, thanks for the information about the lutenist. This reminds me of a more sophisticated version of something popular when I was in high school in the early 70s called classical gas although it's more creative. Sister once told me of the Kol Nidre Variations, which are worth having. Accentuating a cello they of course are plaintive. (Only Haydn's cello works don't make me want to slit my wrists after 20 minutes.)

An odd few months--I have three complete sets of the Mozart piano concerti--Ashkenazi, Uchida and Perhia, and various other ones--and love Mozart. But cannot now listen to him. Something is going to happen in my life and I don't know what.