| "Southern Decadence" in New Orleans,|
Sept. 5, 2005
|We understand the importance of gay pride here at The People's Cube, but could there be a worse timing or place for such frivolity? This Sunday, Sept. 5, two dozen gay men and a few lesbians paraded down New Orleans's famous thoroughfare, Bourbon Street, while wearing beaded necklaces, hula skirts, and wigs - at the time when all progressive media outlets, political activists, and Democratic Party leaders have selflessly converged to paint a lurid picture of horror, death, and desperation in that very area, multiplied by Republican incompetence, racism, and mismanagement! What were they thinking? Sometimes our constituents do the darnedest things!|
We and our radical allies have stirred up a political "tempest" of Shakespearian proportions; it has the potential to topple the illegitimate Bush administration, and perhaps even lead to the demise of the exploitative capitalist system. Our momentum has been building and building - only now to be blunted by scenes of ebullient same-sex couples, dressed like ballerinas, leisurely promenading through the French Quarter.
We had hoodwinked the country into believing that all the white people, at least those in the upper income brackets, had fled New Orleans, heartlessly leaving behind hapless, poor blacks to die from drowning, hunger, thirst, disease, or bullets. But the pictures of the able-bodied white revelers that have surfaced in the media have poked holes in our narrative of insurmountable despair. A groundswell of outrage has begun to form regarding the impromptu parade. "How callous and unseemly," one liberal volunteer has been quoted as saying, "they're essentially dancing on the graves of Katrina's victims. Are the scales beginning to tip in the wrong direction, comrades?"
Just think of everything our activists have done for gays and lesbians. We generously invited them into the progressive fold, championing their cause and promoting them as an oppressed minority entitled to preferential and deferential treatment. One would think that gay people would owe the movement an undying debt of gratitude and share our collective objectives. Just consider the myriad of lawsuits we've won on their behalf, in addition to all the TV sitcoms and movies we've produced for the purpose of making them more acceptable to mainstream America. And this unauthorized Bourbon Street prance-fest is the payback we get!
This individualistic free-lancing is quite disturbing, especially since the rules are clearly delineated in The People's Manual for Political Activism: "No events, be they rallies, marches, protests, demonstrations, vigils, or street theater performances, may be scheduled or staged without first receiving express permission from the Commissar for Events' Planning & Coordination." Furthermore, a single interest group must obtain special approval to hold a feature event, as the participation of other progressive organizations ensures greater numbers and maximum publicity. But we'll have to deal with the offending frolickers at a latter date, because damage control is of paramount importance right now, lest the entire progressive effort suffer a setback.
All is not lost, however, for the minds of the masses are malleable and easily manipulated with the proper conditioning. Time is of the essence, so we expect full cooperation from all apparatchiks! The Propaganda Department has proposed two options for dealing with the current PR crisis:
Option 1: Disclaim the actions of the revelers by insisting that a very small segment of the gay population periodically suffers from an irrepressible promiscuous impulse coupled with an obsession with their sexual identity and appearance. This condition, brought on by capitalist commercialism and Western cultural decadence, alters their behavior and worldview, causing them to act selfishly and irresponsibly, putting their own interests above those of The Greater Good. We will say that these people have seen the error of their ways and have voluntarily checked themselves in to a Karl Marx Treatment Center for re-education.
Option 2: Blame it on the vast rightwing conspiracy. The French Quarter revelers were neither gay, nor actual residents of New Orleans, but rather part of a covert Special Forces acting troupe used to discredit opposition movements. The military, under direct orders from the White House, paradropped the operatives in the French Quarter, under the cover of darkness, the night before the parade. We will also allege that an anonymous bureaucrat has leaked to us a document that contains instructions for the actors "to act gay as hell and make sure that reporters see you doing it." This should do the trick, comrades.
Quote:BIG PARTY THIS WEEKEND
CommieNewNetwork"an unbelievable scene ... bodies everywhere!"
Quote:Definitions of decadent on the Web:
Red Square...We had hoodwinked the country into believing that all the white people, at least those in the upper income brackets, had fled New Orleans, heartlessly leaving behind hapless, poor blacks to die from drowning, hunger, thirst, disease, or bullets. ....
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