The
People's Cube Archive:
April - December 2005
Merry Kwahaneidmas, Breast Cancer, and Domestic Violence!
A snapshot of the poster we took
with our own camera at the local
post office. |
This holiday season
our warmest greetings go to the US
Postal Service, an exemplary government-run
organization, for issuing an official
holiday poster that documents
a positive paradigm shift in our
national mentality. Displayed at
post offices nationwide, it unobtrusively
reminds Americans what national holidays
they should observe this December:
Hanukkah Ball, Kwanzaa Parade, Muslim
Eid Carnival, Breast Cancer Gala,
and Family Violence Bash (not necessarily
in that order). In case you missed
it, Chr***mas is not part of the
holiday season. Come to think of
it, it has never been. What Chr***mas?
Never heard of it.
The suspicious Madonna stamp on
the poster may seem like a weak
compromise, but we believe it's
a wise move to soften the blow
and to ensure a smooth transition
to a new progressive era.
MORE >> |
Stalin's
half-man, half-ape super-warriors
Super-troopers: Stalin wanted
Planet of the Apes-like troops,
insensitive to pain and hardship. |
The Soviet dictator
Josef Stalin ordered the creation
of Planet of the Apes-style warriors
by crossing humans with apes,
according to recently uncovered
secret documents.
Stalin to scientist: "I
want a new invincible human
being, insensitive to pain,
resistant and indifferent about
the quality of food they eat."
MORE >> |
Gay Dentist Movie a Critical Success
 |
Proving that homosexuality
comes in all professions, the new
gay dentistry film Broke Back Molar
is transgressing all boundaries.
It was once thought to be a profession
for straights only, but this new
film speaks to power in a way that
none has before (besides the gay
cowboy movie Brokeback
Mountain, currently in theaters
near you).
"It breaks all stereotypes," says
student John Welshman. "I always
thought dentists were straight!
Boy did this open my eyes!"
The Gay and Lesbian Association
of Dentists (GLAD) applauded the
movie as "groundbreaking." Howard
Fine, President of GLAD, could
not be happier. "Over 80% of dentists
are really gay. The rest are sadists," Fine
stated bluntly.
MORE >> |
My
American Revolutionary Kicked Your Commie
Revolutionary's Ass
 |
This email exchange
started when a student from Communist
China currently living in Japan
bought an anti-Che T-shirt "My
American Revolutionary Kicked
Your Commie Revolutionary's Ass" from Che-Mart,
an online store associated with
the People's Cube. This letter
makes one ponder about what America
means to people in other countries,
what message American freedom
sends to the world by the very
virtue of its existence. It also
makes one think about those Americans
who want to change this country,
to make it look more like the
Old World, and thus to kill hope
for people like Billy.
MORE >> |
INTERNATIONALE
(Rap Version)
More revolutions per minute than any capitalist
label!
|
Red Square Records,
the new recording label of The People's
Cube, is proud to present the first
single by progressive, hip-hop artist
Jihad E. Titled "Internationale," the
song is a rousing tribute to the Communist
Internationals (or Cominterns) of the
twentieth century.
NOW ACCEPTING
SUBMISSIONS FROM PROGRESSIVE SONGWRITERS
AND MUSICIANS!
MORE >>
|
Socialized Healthcare:
No Drugs For The Useless!
A foreign report from Dr. Fuku,
on assignment in Europe
Voice of progress: kill the
health care hogs! |
|
"Kill
the health care hogs!" is the progressive
message we hear increasingly from the
more socially advanced comrades in
Europe. How many times have you stood
in line at the pharmacy behind an ancient
decrepit walking dead? Inevitably,
they order dozens of medications and
then pay almost nothing as our Mother
State picks up the tab! How is one
to deal with these selfish broken-down
useless monsters as they suck the economic
lifeblood from our Cities?
As usual, the Europeans have been
leading the way...
MORE >> |
Kazakhstanis
Against Borat
Radical
Islam Surrenders to Progressivism
We can withstand your guns and tanks, but
please, kill us all before you inflict
more sensitivity training! |
|
The War
on Terror has entered a new successful
stage once the US field commanders
began to force the enemy units to comply
with the same government-imposed rules
and restrictions that the US Army increasingly
faces on a daily basis.
One man, identified only as a "Soldier
for Allah" explained, "We were
led into a classroom and had to
sit in circles for what they called
'Collective Self-Attaining Support
Sessions' where they lectured us
on matters such as "Gender Awareness." "Multicultural
Identity." and "Environmental Racism." Even
in Saddam's prisons, I was never
accused so often of being guilty!"
MORE >> |
 |
Let's
Do Empire Right!
The 2008
Presidential election is just around
the corner. We can't run our capitalist
puppet Bush for a third time, Cheney's
been compromised, so we've got to find
some other incarnation of evil to run,
to preserve both the Empire and our
undeserved hegemony. The Left has competent,
well-respected, and ethical statesmen
who've risen up from the unwashed masses
during the Bush years. The downtrodden
are fed up with our imperialist wars
and with the destruction of the planet
for the sake of our boldfaced greed.
We need a new sinister plan!
MORE >> |
Jewish Terrorists Misfire
Miami Beach-based Militant Zionist Octogenarian Terror Group most likely responsible |
| We break our rule of publishing only original stories for Comrade Julia Gorin, our undercover field operative, who first published this piece in Jewish World Review. In the past, she had also succesfully infiltrated Opinion Journal, FrontPage Magazine, Fox News, and other right-wing bourgeois organs. Operating on the mistaken assumption that engaging in terrorism can win sympathy for Jews the way it does for Muslims, two Israeli men opened fire on Palestinian civilians in separate incidents last month. But even though attacking the World Trade Center and the Pentagon four years ago turned out to be the best public relations move for Muslims yet, the two Israeli settlers misfired in their petty, low-key attempts to duplicate that successful strategy.
MORE >> |
Muslim
Riots Spread to Amish, Hare Krishnas, Jews, Others
 Hare
Krishnas: "We are tired of smirks
and dissing while working our asses
off at major airports for little
or no pay. Enough is enough! We
demand state-enforced conversions
and equal redistribution of faith
and donations!"
|
|
The French
Muslim riots, caused by an uncontrollable
reaction to poverty, racism, and a
profound sense of alienation from the
larger society, have recently inspired
some American groups who share very
similar grievances, to use mass violence
as a means of gaining recognition and
respect.
As low income also immediately translates
into uncontrollable violence, the
first American neighborhoods to start
rioting were the Chinatowns. Realizing
that Chinatowns are among the poorest
parts of the country, community
leaders have encouraged the use of
violence to raise the material wealth
-- and self-esteem -- of the residents.
MORE >> |
ACLU and al Qaeda: Possible
Split?
 |
Rumors of a possible split between
leaders of ACLU and al Qaeda have been
fueled by an increased chatter level
over the past few weeks, as follows from
these interoffice memos obtained by our
field operative at ACLU headquarters, in New York.
* * *
From: ACLU Board of Directors
To: Al Qaeda Headquarters
Dear Sir:
In your videotaped
statement broadcast by al-Jazeera
Mr. Ayman al-Zawahiri looks like
a respectable statesman who appreciates
reasonable dialogue. As such, we
hope you will address our grievances
for the sake of our common goal,
which we know you still believe in...
MORE >> |
E-indictments
 |
E-indictments
are sweeping the nation! Criminalize
your neighbor, spouse, boss, co-worker,
or a mere stranger with E-indictments!
Most cards are free, some are reserved
for Party members only. Every card
sent helps eliminate an enemy of the
people. Note: cats, dogs, and most
barn animals cannot be indicted.
To have a public enemy of your
choice indicted you must first give
a contribution to the Democratic
Party campaign. Terms of confinement
may vary. Not valid in all Red States.
MORE >> |
God Yields to Angry Left, Distributes Disasters Equitably
 |
"The vigorous campaign
led by human rights groups accusing
God of favoritism towards Western
countries and of unfair distribution
of natural disasters that targeted
minorities has caused God to reconsider
His ways," God's
spokesman announced yesterday at
a press-conference held by an international
clergy group representing Judaism,
Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism,
and other religions. "This summer's
unusual flooding in Europe and two
devastating hurricanes in the USA
serve as a proof of God's reconstructed,
more equitable, and politically correct
approach to weather patterns," the
spokesman said...
MORE >> |
Have
good wholesome fun scaring away weak liberals
with the ghosts of work, family, responsibility,
capitalism, Rush Limbaugh, and others!
SCARE THE INTRACTABLE INTO OBEDIENCE! (Now in two versions)
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
Exactly one year ago
the progressive world of the dead was preparing
to vote for John Kerry:
International
Coalition of Dead Voters Endorses
John Kerry
 |
The International
Coalition of Dead Voters
has always supported progressive
causes, being the most
dedicated constituency
of the Democratic Party.
Consistently voting for
the political Left they
are playing an increasingly
important role in the American
democratic process. It
is important that this
Halloween all dead people
of good will, again, take
advantage of early voting
and cast their vote for
John Kerry.
MORE >> |
What
Would Che Say?
Ernesto Che™ Guevara
signing order to arrest
and shoot everybody at
Cafepress.com. |
A
lot of progressive people
ask themselves when faced
with life's problems: What
would Che™ say? We
can assure you that in
most cases our Ernie would
say, Put 'em up against
the wall and shoot 'em!
And this is exactly
what he would say in this
case as well.
Shoot the photographer
who took the famous picture
and all of his family
members who hold the
copyright to that image.
The same goes for the
Cafepress.com executive
board, their lawyers,
programmers, designers,
mail room clerks, and
the poor Albanian cleaning
lady - for being capitalist
pig-dog profiteers, the "Little
Eichmans" in Ward Churchill's
words, who dare make
a living by exploiting Che's
image, his life, and
passion. They explicitly
or implicitly participate
in the running of Che™ through
the grinds, the gears,
and the conveyer belt
of the hated capitalist
industry which Che™ sought
to destroy.
MORE >>
|
Hillary-Guevara '08 shorts, anyone?
 Cafepress.com
on many of its news pages is promoting a pro-communist
store that, among hammers and red stars,
also sells "Hillary Guevara" design based
on the famed Che™ picture by the Cuban
photographer Korda. One can buy Hillary
Guevara shirts, pins, mugs, bags, baby and
doggie items, and yes, boxer shorts commanding
you to "vote Hillary '08." More on that
later.
In our previous
story we described how Cafepress.com
censored our "Che is Dead" design with
a hairy skull in a beret on a vague
pretext of copyright infringement -
while they turned a blind eye on other
shopkeepers who blatantly used corporate
logos and trademarks in designs that
denigrated American corporations and
capitalism in general.
MORE >> |
10/18/05 - 1:30pm
Last night I went on Cafepress and created the "Che
is dead" shop again, to see what happens. It has
been up for more than 12 hours without purging and
sold 3 "Che is Dead" shirts! Looks like our satirical
attack worked!
Which means we are capable of defeating the leftist
obstructionism if we just show a little effort. I encourage
all our comrades to do the same everywhere. Speak openly,
be persistent, be unafraid. We shall - how you say
it - overcome? |
|
Cafepress.com Censors The People's Cube
On Oct. 9th I created a section in my
Cafepress.com online store with T-shirts
featuring a black and white picture of
a hairy skull wearing a beret and a caption
saying, "Che is dead, get over it." On
the following day Cafepress removed these
products from my store even though someone
has already ordered and paid for a shirt.
They referred to copyright infringement
as an excuse.
I understand and respect the copyright
law, but did I really violate it? Here's
my letter to Cafepress.
Dear Content Usage Associate,
A picture of a hairy skull in
a beret that I drew myself as an
artist can not be an infringement
of anyone's copyright. I assure
you it isn't even Che Guevara's
skull...
MORE >> |
Israel
Dismantles; World's Problems End
Sharon: "It's not every day when
the French, the Germans, Muslims, Communists,
Nazis, Arabs,
Socialists, and the United Nations agree on things,
so when they do,
it's obvious that they must be correct." |
Persistent
rhetoric coming from concerned progressive
critics worldwide has finally convinced
Israeli officials that the state of Israel
has no moral right to exist. "That's
it," Prime Minister Ariel Sharon explained
at a press conference. "We are dismantling
the Nation of Israel. I'm leaving for
Poland next week."
"My cabinet and I had long discussions
about world troubles, and we concluded
that our critics are right - all the
troubles can be traced back to us.
So, in order to resolve these issues,
we felt it would be best to extend
our withdrawal beyond Gaza to include
the West Bank and Israel proper," Sharon
said. "The Gaza pullout was only a
test, and the ensuing waves of peace
and brotherhood it had triggered in
Palestine and beyond, encouraged us
to disband altogether. Without us here,
people of the world will finally be
able, once again, to live in permanent
harmony and understanding - just like
they all did before Israel's founding
nearly sixty years ago."
MORE >> |
Let's
Do Imperialism Right
$.$. Halliburton's simple plan to
continue Imperialism apace, strengthen
Capitalist class at the expense of
the oppressed, ensure its political
hegemony, and put a damn pretty penny
in each and every one of his bank accounts.
As every right-wing fascist knows, democracy
is cumbersome and inefficient. Try to
get something accomplished and you find
yourself butting heads with every unwashed,
uncouth commoner who has no conception
of what's good for Class, Empire and
the world...
MORE >> |
Utopia Bay Beach Resort:
Paradise for Weary Activists
Are you a professional radical
activist? Has your rigorous schedule
of anti-war and anti-capitalism
rallies left you exhausted? Perhaps
you're beginning to feel more
like a programmed automaton than
a free-thinking human being?
Are slogans like "No blood for
oil" starting
to seem a bit inane and trite?
If so, you could be suffering
from Protest Fatigue Syndrome
(PFS), a common malady among
full-time malcontents.
MORE >> |
Attention progressive, socialist, liberal, pacifist, anarchist, feminist, or environmentalist debaters! Whether you are fighting class enemy over the Internet, in school, or at your parent's house over dinner, this tool is for you. No more awkward mumbling or looking for the right word! Just enter your ideological opponent's name and generate a Progressive Truth that will render your enemies speechless! | The People's Research Institute (PRI) has found a way of stopping right-wing ideology in America and ending our losses at the ballot box: we need to face our opponent's "facts" and "logic" by learning how to frame the debate. The Progressive Truth Generator™ will help you to set the terms of debate on issues in your favor and quickly terminate all discussion! |  |  |
This research is ongoing. We encourage you to
submit your favorite debate framing elements
for the following groups: "adjectives," "nouns," and "'because'
statements" here >>
Mother
Moonbat: The Movie. Don't miss It!!!
We are proud to present our first video production.
|
On Sunday, Sept. 18th, when
a huge full moon shone over the city
and miasmic odors oozed quite appropriately
from disturbed sewage systems, Cindy
Sheehan's bus stopped at Lafayette
Ave. Presbyterian Church in Brooklyn,
letting out a small pack of moonbats.
Out trusty camera captured the event
in a night-vision mode, complete
with the sermon and a short interview
with Mother Moonbat herself. She
was apprehensive at first, but
when we said we represented a socialist
Karl Marx Treatment Center, she smiled
and relaxed...
MORE >> |
Million Moonbats March
From the mouth of Laika The
Space Dog, chief coordinator >>
Who let the gays out?
 "Southern
Decadence" in New Orleans,
Sept. 5, 2005
|
We understand
the importance of gay pride here
at The People's Cube, but could
there be a worse timing or place
for such frivolity?
This Sunday, Sept. 5, two dozen
gay men and a few lesbians paraded
down New Orleans's famous thoroughfare,
Bourbon Street, while wearing beaded
necklaces, hula skirts, and wigs
- at the time when all progressive
media outlets, political activists,
and Democratic Party leaders have
selflessly converged to paint a
lurid picture of horror, death,
and desperation in that very area,
multiplied by Republican incompetence,
racism, and mismanagement!...
MORE >> |
 |
No text...
Words fail to describe
this tragedy
|
Iraqi Looter Turns Up in New Orleans
The donkey-cart
Baghdad looter, whose image was lovingly
reproduced by worldwide media networks two
years ago at the start of the Iraqi war,
has turned up in New Orleans this year with
colleagues |
Members of the Louisiana National
Guard, fresh from Iraq, have stated that
the scene in New Orleans bears an eerie resemblance
to Baghdad in the wake of the Hussein regime's
collapse. A few Guardsmen, formerly with
the 3rd ID, believe they saw familiar faces
among The Big Easy's looters, whom they witnessed
filling a donkey cart with furniture stolen
from Mayor Nagin's office. Some others were
simply carrying chairs away on their backs--as
did Muhammad Al Sayef, a self-described serial
looter who turned up in New Orleans this
week for the four-day media extravaganza
and made himself available for interviews.
MORE >> |
Commander In Chief
 |
The latest creation by counter-revolutionary
agents provocateurs and chain dogs
of the bourgeoisie who defaced our
Commander In Chief's image and signed
it with ThePeoplesCube.com and Che-Mart.com's
URLs.
MORE >> |
Howard Dean's Constructive Solution:
Even Killing Field
Dr. Dean: "To rectify the situation,
all those whites who evacuated submerged homes
must be returned to those homes and drowned immediately." |
While Senator Clinton has
proposed a commission to determine just
how racist the hurricane and Government
have been, Howard Dean seeks to cut out
the middleman. "We don't need a commission
to know that this is really about race," chairman
of the Democratic Party said in a speech
to the National Baptist Convention of America,
one of the nation's largest black church
groups. "Natural disasters never kill this
many white people. Well, if the natural
disasters don't want to play fair, we will."
Tired of hearing that the Democrats
are a party of baseless finger-pointing
without constructive solutions, the former
presidential candidate Howard Dean offered
an undeniably constructive solution in
his Wednesday speech in Miami, Fla....
MORE >> |
Katrina Reporters: Act Locally, Think Globally
 |
In
Mogadishu, militants laughed and fired
guns in the air after watching CNN reports
on looting in New Orleans. "With
American citizens like that, who needs
enemies!" laughed Sheikh Hassan Dahir
Aweys. "I was going to infiltrate America
and blow myself up in a shopping mall,
but I'll take my chances here, thank
you very much!"
MORE >> |
America Strikes Back At The Environment
 |
As Americans are trying to come
to grips with nature's attack on the
Gulf Coast, reports are growing about
an increased level of hate crimes against
environment in US cities and rural
areas. In Georgia, a man was arrested
for screaming environmental slurs at
the passing clouds and threatening
them with a shotgun, while in other
areas local residents were seen "accidentally" ramming
trees, rocks, and flowery hedges with
their cars, trucks, and SUVs. No warm
fuzzy feelings remain towards the environment
in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana.
A couple driving a car with a bumper
sticker that said "Nature Lovers" were
dragged out of the vehicle and beaten
with sticks by a gang of angry neighbors.
MORE >> |
Coalition of the Gloating: No Hurricane Relief for USA!
 |
The day after Hurricane Katrina
smashed into eastern Louisiana and western Mississippi,
leaving a swath of devastation comparable to
some of the worst in history, a multi-national
coalition formed for the express purpose of discouraging
countries from providing any relief aid to the
beleaguered inhabitants of the Gulf Coast.
MORE >> |
Vengeful Science Sends Fire and
Brimstone on Bible Belt
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. promises hell to unbelievers unless they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due with the hand of humility. "Lo! Science is Forgiving, Merciful!"
| | As Hurricane Katrina dismantles Mississippi's Gulf Coast, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the firebrand scientist of the fundamentalist strain of environmental doctrine, has unleashed a fiery sermon at The Huffington Post offices, stating that Americans had brought the devastation upon themselves for sinning against Science. "Had
Bush signed the Kyoto Treaty last night
as the hurricane approached, it would
have been turned aside, for Science
is Forgiving, Merciful!" roared the
ultraprogressive pulpiter who is sometimes
criticized for interpreting scientific
texts too literally. "But Bush and
Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour
went against science, they sealed
their ears to Science's prophets,
and for that Science unleashed its
wrath on the unbelievers! Hell shall
be their home: an evil fate!"
"It is a mortal sin to think that Science is open to interpretation, that scientific phenomena can mean more than one thing, or that Climate Change has a million factors! That would be just as bad as the ludicrous literal interpretation of Scripture by Christians!" Kennedy went on. "Fight those who do not profess the true faith! Remember that Science gives firmness to the believers, and it instills terror into the hearts of the unbelievers!"
MORE >> |
Osama to Cindy: Will You Be My 37th Wife?
 A new video released today on al Jazeera captivated not only regulars enticed by displays of flying body parts and beheadings, but drew in scores of reality TV aficionados, many of whom wept tears of sympathetic tenderness.
In what may well become known as
the world's most romantic marriage
proposal, Osama Bin Laden, president
of the al Qaeda network, stumbled
in the midst of his latest fatwa
against Western infidels, then produced
a small box from the folds of his
robe. He fell to one knee and, looking
straight into the camera, uttered
in perfect English, "I
love you Cindy Sheehan. Will you
marry me, baby doll?"...
MORE >> |
Hurricane Shield Revisited
 Clearly, if America had elected John Kerry in 2004,
none of the devastation caused by Hurricane
Katrina would have happened. This is
what we said almost exactly a year ago
in a story below - and we stand by it!
Kerry To Build Hurricane
Shield If Elected
By Red Eye
09/09/04 - 1:22 am
In addition to his previous campaign
promises meant to improve the life
situation for those who resent capitalism
at the expense of those who are happy with
it, Senator John F. Kerry has now announced
a plan to harness the very nature itself...
MORE >>
 |
It's
a mad, mad, mad, mad world...
Marx, Jesus, Iraq, Moonbats,
and MSM: It's a mad, mad, mad, mad
world!
Thanks to our trusty Dr. Fuku who posted
these images here.
We thought they were too good
to be buried in comments, so we made
this collage.
Poor Casey would fit in the top picture,
but there's no place for him in the
bottom one. If he were to come back to
life they'd bury him again.
MORE >> |
Global Warming: Alaska Needs More Air Conditioners
Polar bears in Alaska are being forced
to
adapt to the heat by lazing about on the porches
of their caves and drinking all day. |
Senators John McCain and Hillary Clinton have returned from a high-profile, omni-partisan, and taxpayer-funded fact-finding tour in Alaska, claiming to have found incontrovertible proof that global warming is the result of US imperialism.
"Go up to places like we just came from, it's
a little scary," Senator McCain (R-AZ) asserted. "Green
grass, wildflowers, even trees! Yet I clearly remember
from the movie "Snow Dogs" starring award-winning
Cuba Gooding Jr. that Alaska used to be covered
with snow!"
MORE >> |
Iran Nuke Destroys Cleveland, Nobody Cares
Kofi Annan: "UN inspectors are confident that
Iran is up to a decade away from incinerating another
American city." |
With the ruins of Cleveland still smoldering after a surprise nuclear attack launched by Iranian Ayatollahs last week, the world's attention is refreshingly focused on more urgent matters as most people appear to be concerned with other things. "Like, I didn't even know where Cleveland was?" says a 23-year old shopper at the King of Prussia Mall outside Philadelphia. "I mean, like, this so totally doesn't affect me?"
In Berkeley CA, naked transgender protesters are
calling public attention to the pressing issue of
a complete ban on all commerce. "We're also trying
to free Mumia," says
one of them, pointing out that his or her protest
sign was constructed "without the poison of capitalist
commerce..."
MORE >> |
Neocons Imprison Mick Jagger Without Trial
|
In an unabashed
show of Neocon power, the Bush administration
dragged the legendary Rolling Stones' lead
singer Mick Jagger off the stage and threw
him in prison without trial. It happened
Sunday night in front of 36,000 Stones' fans,
as the musicians were getting ready to kick
off their latest tour with a concert in Boston's
Fenway Park. Upon witnessing the arrest, the
fans quietly went home in groups of not more
than three, content in their knowledge that
Jagger was right and not simply running his
big mouth when he sang the new song My Sweet
Neocon:
It's liberty for all,
Democracy's our style,
Unless you are against us,
Then it's prison without trial...
MORE >> |
Cindy Sheehan Writes A How-To Book
 | Cindy
Sheehan, who is angry with President Bush
for disobeying her explicit orders to give
in to Islamic terrorists, has bravely decided
to return to Crawford, Texas, after visiting
her bed-ridden mother. "I have THREE questions
for the head terrorist Bush now," she says:
"#1. Why did he kill Casey? #2. Why did he
give my mother a stroke? #3. How much did
he pay my husband to divorce me?"
Respected mainstream liberal groups descended on the
White House to investigate the latest allegations.
The New York Times' Liz Bumiller is investigating
the claim that Bush caused Sheehan's mother's
stroke through secret operations.
Sources from MoveOn.org confirm that
Bush had a crack team of specialists
induce a stroke in Cindy's mom to
sidetrack the noble anti-Bush cause....
MORE >> |
Chairman
Dean's Message: Turn Up Volume
 |
A
careful analysis of today's political scene
shows that people are not hearing the Democrat
Party's message. "Our message is right there, people just aren't hearing it," says the Party Chairman Dr. Howard Dean. "It's
in our speeches, political ads, sympathetic
radio and TV programming, friendly newspaper
publications, progressive blogging, and mass
emailing campaigns. Our (Democrat) message
is clearly the only one that makes sense.
So if we're still losing at the ballot boxes,
that must only mean people aren't hearing
us. Therefore, we need to make the same points,
but make them louder."
Millions of dollars spent by the Democrats
have done surprisingly little to familiarize
Americans with their program....
MORE >> |
Jury Finds U.S. Constitution at Fault for Everything
Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): "It will be so much easier
to write one big check to the United Nations than
to figure out who gets what this year." | In the largest class-action suit ever, a federal jury has found the United States Constitution at fault for every problem faced by everyone, everywhere. The award, for over $2,000 billion, is equal to the entire federal budget. Of this, $500 billion will be for punitive damages - but most of it, $1,500 billion, will be for mental anguish suffered by the rest of the world.
"Amen to what the jury decided," crowed
the prosecuting attorney. "We just won
one whopper of a case! There are six
billion people who have suffered enormously
from the ideas of limited government,
personal freedom, and private property...
MORE >> |
Cindy Sheehan Loves America
By Cindy Sheehan (edited for language by Red
Square)
| I love America - but not the filthy rich capitalist society it is now. That America is inherently evil, it has been killing people on this continent since it was started. As if that were not enough, it is now spreading the cancer of Pax Americana and imperialism in the Middle East. No, the America that I love is the non-polluted, sparsely populated country of five hundred years ago, with its various tribes free of capitalist exploitation, breaking each other's skulls with stone axes, shitting in the woods and getting eaten by wild animals.
We want our country back!
MORE >> |
"DQ Mom" Blames
Elders of Zion, Finds Audience
"We will catch that Zionist Dairy Queen whoever
she is, then we will rape her, and Allah willing,
we will remove her head with a rusty saw." |
Ella Cinder, whose son Chucky was injured in an accident involving a partially-eaten Chili Lime Chicken Strip Basket at the State Fair, is still holding a vigil outside a local Dairy Queen and is now claiming that the entire incident might have been avoided if "The Zionist Entity withdrew from Palestine."
When asked what relevance Israel had to
her son tripping on a Dairy Queen product,
she started to tremble and then wailed, "Shaddup,
you filthy mother-disrespecting son of a
bitch!"...
MORE >> |
Nebraska Mom Demands Meeting With DQ CEO
"We've hated Dairy Queen for a long time, but now they've gone too far with their
Chili Lime Chicken
Strip Baskets!"
|
Inspired by Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a slain soldier
who is camping outside President Bush's ranch until she gets a face-to-face
explanation of why he killed her son, other mothers begin to demand
apologies for their grievances as well.
In Wipeit NE, mom Ella Cinder has pitched a tent outside a local
Dairy Queen, demanding a meeting with its CEO so he can explain his
culpability for her 32-year old son Chucky slipping on a partially-eaten
Chili Lime Chicken Strip Basket at the State Fair.
MORE >> |
Jihadists Against Bag Searches
| A new civil rights group is fighting a shameful practice: bag searches in the New York City subways that are infringing on the rights of suicide bombers to kill and maim hundreds of New Yorkers. The group that calls itself Jihadists Against Bag Searches distributed flyers today to straphangers (image, left), warning them of the erosion of civil liberties in America. Dressed in oversized trench coats and carrying heavy backpacks, the group members asked the New Yorkers a simple yet disarming question: "Is this the country you really want to live in, if it profiles a minorit that has blown up cars, buildings, buses, trains, and airplanes in the past?"
"They're right," a concerned young lawyer
told our correspondent." With
so many people entering the subway, how can
we be sure that the searches are absolutely
random? There's a big chance it's all a cover-up
for profiling minorities. If the police succeeds
in preventing them from blowing me up on
the train, it will be the end of my civil
liberties...
MORE >> |
NY Times to Roberts: Why weren't your children aborted?
 The Drudge Report story about the New York Times investigating the adoption by John Roberts of his two children continues to generate intolerant rhetoric in the right-wing conservative circles. We asked the New York Times Executive Editor to give us his take on this story. Here is what he told The People's Cube:
As is often the case, the original "source" of this "story," the Drudge
Report is wrong, overwrought and a gross misrepresentation of what has happened.
What really happened is that our reporters, with great care, understanding
the sensitivity of the issue, only asked a few legitimate questions.
One of our reporters simply asked, "Are these children really from South America? They look awfully white to me. Are they really children, or are they midgets with severe conservative right-wing agendas? Are these alleged "children" members of the Federalist Society?" MORE >> |
Amends for Hiroshima: Congress To Bomb Two U.S. Cities
 |
In a belated expression of remorse for the nuclear
strikes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki sixty years ago, Congress has authorized
the Army to launch apologetic nuclear strikes on two American cities.
The selection of cities is not final, but they will most likely be
Dallas and Houston in a nod to the Democratic desire to attack cities
in a "red" state.
MORE >> |
Kennedy: The Shuttle Doesn't Need To Be Fixed
Kennedy: "The biggest threat to the shuttle Discovery is George Bush and
the Republican Party!" |
Encouraged by the success of his attack
against President Bush's plan to fix Social Security, Democratic Senator
Edward Kennedy took it a step further today, launching an attack against
NASA's plan to fix the shuttle Discovery while in orbit.
"There is no need to fix the shuttle," said Kennedy. "I categorically reject
the deceptive and dangerous claim that there is something wrong with it!
The shuttle will serve us another forty years without problem. The biggest
threat to Discovery today is not the foam tiles, it's George Bush and the
Republican Party." MORE >> |
ACLU Lawyers Volunteer to Get Their Heads Sawed Off
When the Taliban complain about broken AC in their
cells, what else can we do but allow them to saw our
heads off? |
Getting one's head sawed off might seem like reason
for concern, but in fact, ACLU lawyers turning themselves over to their
Guantanamo clients for this purpose have gone a long way in addressing
Taliban dissatisfaction with the camp's amenities like poor wi-fi reception.
In an unprecedented display of compassion, volunteers from the
ACLU and Amnesty International are lining up to get their heads sawed
off by disgruntled Taliban prisoners. This new spirit of international
caring has its genesis in the Human
Shields tradition...
MORE >> |
Africa to Hillary: How Much for Your Daughter?
Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor:
"How much for your daughter?"
| A love-struck African playboy, inspired by Hillary Clinton's values, has bid 40 goats and 20 cows for her daughter Chelsea. Normally, Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor is not interested in American girls. However, Godwin and his family were impressed by Hillary Clinton standing by her husband during the Monica Lewinksy scandal, saying, "She behaved like an African woman." Godwin is hoping the apple does not fall far from the tree, and his premeditated sexual dalliances will be forgiven in advance. Members
of the right-wing conspiracy immediately went on the attack:"Hillary's
third world values seem ...
MORE >> |
New Spirit of Municipal Randomness
New York firefighters randomly douse one house per neighborhood
per week.
|
Inspired by the success of random bag checks among people entering the New York City subway system, the City has decided to expand the idea of randomness to its other functions. Police Commissioner Kelly, the architect of random policing, spoke of why randomness works so well: "The idea is that no one is any better or any worse than anyone else; if we're all suspects, then no one is a suspect, and no one will feel hurt. As we know, the main function of a police force is to make everyone feel good about themselves."
MORE >> |
 |
Most people know that Americans benefit from
- high
taxes
- powerful unions
- limited consumer choice
- strong government
control
But most people lack the training to fully understand why we
derive benefits from these policies, and why government
control over public anything results in unsurpassable
quality (transportation, education, health, etc.).
|
To remedy your "knowledge deficit" you
can ask us any question you choose, and it
will be explained by the legendary Professor Paul
Kurgman in
a language that you can understand.
From the evils of profiteering, corporatism,
and economic exploitation to the rewards
of regulation, social justice, and community/stakeholder
involvement, Professor Kurgman will use
his agile mind to clarify the otherwise
intimidating field of economics.
MORE >>
Bush
Nominates Ray Romano as Supreme Judge
 |
Soon after President Bush named
Fred Thompson, former Senator and actor on the NBC television
series "Law & Order," to help shepherd his yet-to-be named
Supreme Court nominee through the Senate,
he also announced a much-awaited list of nominees. "After a long
process of selection, aimed at satisfying all parties and groups," White
House spokesman Scott McClellan said, "The President has finalized
a list that he hopes everybody will love."
MORE >> |
Winston Palimpsest Does Tour de France
 | A press photographer at the Tour de France captured this image of our very own Professor Palimpsest protesting the Yankee imperialist, Lance Armstrong. MORE >> |
Newspaper
Runs Out Of Anti-Bush Headlines
 It
was only a matter of time before the mainstream media ran out of catchy
anti-Bush headlines. Starting with the 2000 elections the US editors appeared
to be engaged in a prestigious contest: who would cast the President in
the worst possible light. The opportunities seemed unlimited. The headline-writers
spent countless nights awash in the pale glow of their monitors, coming
up with one brilliant hook after another. But four years of consistent
Bush-bashing have eventually exhausted everyone's vocabulary and imagination.
So when George W. Bush was reelected in November of 2004, several pundits
sensed that a crisis of creativity would soon plague the media. By the
end of the second quarter of this year, the national media hit rock bottom.
"There are only so many words one can string together
while remaining impartial and objective - even if it's such fertile topic
as our dumb and evil dictator President who is bent on bombing caribou
herds into the Stone Age in Alaska...
MORE >>
Live 8: A Corporate
Conspiracy
Africa must remain poor to avoid MacDonaldization
By Comrade Smirnoff, our (The People's) political consultant in Edinburgh,
Scotland. He has his own progressive blog, http://www.world-socialism.blogspot.com
Bob Geldof: He may dress like
a Maoist, but he doesn't fool us! |
They seek to 'MacDonaldize' African society just as they have
done the West. With the forward advance of global capitalist hegemony
in the West, all that is solid has melted into the air. In this context,
Africa is not poor at all; it is spiritually and culturally rich,
free from the rabid individualism and excessive materialism of the
west. Let's keep it that way!
"This is not about charity; this is about trying to redress
the balance between rich and poor."
-- Elton John.
Right wing cynics will question why we ought to take lessons from
Mr. John, a man who lives a life of extravagant, hedonistic luxury
(he recently claimed to spend £200,000 per month on flowers)
...
MORE >> |
Chomsky, Churchill, Fulani Cancel "Little Eichmanns" Tour to London
 NEW
YORK - July 7. As news of London
terrorist attack by an al-Qaeda group spread Thursday, three
progressive intellectuals Noam
Chomsky, Ward
Churchill, and Lenora
Fulani immediately felt in their hearts the need to reach
out and explain to Londoners why the attacks that killed over
40 people and injured 300 were their own fault and that they
fully deserved what they got.
The three progressive
icons gathered in New York for
a press conference, where they
stated that "Based on
the first reactions out of
London, we sense a glaring lack
of guilt for being attacked.
It is our duty as citizens of
this world, to go to Britain
and instill an enormous amount
of guilt in the government and
its constituents. We would like
to see the British apologize
before al-Qaeda for what happened"...
MORE >>
Pictures
From Iraq:
Too Shocking & Graphic
for The Mainstream Media
 |
EXCLUSIVE!
|
Abdul Mendel, America Last League,wearing non-programmable tin hat |
America Last!
Interview with Abdul Mendel, America Last
League
"Basically we have several warring groups among
us screaming at each other over the coffee. The moderate ones want
to pull back from occupied lands we took illegally in violation of
international law in the Mexican-American war of 1848 and return
this sacred soil to their rightful owners."
MORE >> |
Dick Durbin's Surprise Fourth of July Speech
| Washington
, July 4 - In another half-assed attempt
at apologizing for his Flag Day (June
14th) speech on the Senate Floor, Senator
Dick Durbin from the Islamic Republic
of Illinois ( IRI ) has decided to
change his name to Dick Durbin-Laden. "As
a super patriot and big friend of our
military," the Senator explained, "I
feel it is my citizen's duty to do
it out of solidarity with the poor
mistreated detainees at Guantanamo
Bay detention facility. Until every
detainee is freed, given a house and
home, two cars in every garage, a chicken
in every pot, 72 live virgins, and
a non-flushable Koran, we will fight
the good fight, right every wrong,
and out-French the French in pusillanimity
every chance we get," Senator Durbin-Laden
added.
MORE >> |
NEW SECTION:
 |
Dr. Leonid Fuku is an official delegate of the USSA Bureau of Health, and
future commander of the United Health Care System of the Americas.
"Clearly, the future is with United Global Front for Healthcare, administered
through a centralized offshore office. It will solve all medical issues
for all the world's citizens. I, Health Kommissar Leonid Fuku, am willing to
address all things medical. Ask your questions, but clearly state your Party
standing and location, or answers will not be forthcoming." ~ Doctor
Fuku
ASK Dr. FUKU >> |
Château Babeuf's award-winning
"Propaganda"
Syrah
A
bottle a day keeps thoughtcrimes at bay
Contains mind-control agents
European Left Helps DNC
to Re-Educate America
 |
This site, as well as the Mother
Site (CFK) has been bombarded with righteous anti-American, Republican-bashing
posts written in good English, without mentioning the posters' nationality.
But site administrators have a way of checking IP addresses. Some of them
came from the Netherlands, some from Germany, and all of them point to
RIPE Network Coordination Centre in Amsterdam...
MORE >> |
Supreme Court Ushers in Collectivization; Purges
to Follow
 |
WASHINGTON (PC) - A divided
Supreme Court ruled Thursday that private
property is a big lie concocted
by the Bush Administration to further its capitalistic agenda, in a
decision anxiously awaited by all communists and other progressive pressure
groups in America.
The Supreme Court's decision cleared the way for the city of New
London, Conn., to seize private homes and businesses against the owners'
will, and bulldoze family residences in order to build projects that
generate more tax revenue for the Common Good™.
MORE >> |
Tikritos: Cruel Ranch and Other Progressive Flavors
Tikritos:
It's cool, its progressive, it's rebellious!
Every crunch is a loud political statement!
Great for street protests and sleepovers!
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