N E O - K U L A K S  I N  N E E D  O F  L I Q U I D A T I O N
               Press this button if you believe that your friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers are guilty of thought crimes.
  | Get the Cube in Your Inbox  |  Submissions
 
       Karl Marx Treatment Center - an outpatient Gulag program
MOTHER PAGE CURRENT TRUTH PEOPLE'S BLOG GROUPTHINK DRY GOODS   JOIN   FEEDBACK
  WHAT IS PEOPLE'S CUBE?
You might be guilty of thoughtcrime if...
   
Winner of The Most
Politically Correct Web Site Medal and Award, 2005

KEEP THE CUBE ROLLING!
FRESH FROM THE CUBE
Newsletter


Subscribe voluntarily and we promise that the KGB will not sell your email down the river to other spy agencies




buy this T-shirt







Winner of
For The Common Good
Medal and Award, 2004



Awarded "Friend of People"
License and Medallion, 1957



 




SHAMELESS
MATERIALISTIC
BOURGEOIS
PROPAGANDA









 




 
The People's Cube Archive: April - December 2005

Merry Kwahaneidmas, Breast Cancer, and Domestic Violence!

A snapshot of the poster we took with our own camera at the local post office.

This holiday season our warmest greetings go to the US Postal Service, an exemplary government-run organization, for issuing an official holiday poster that documents a positive paradigm shift in our national mentality. Displayed at post offices nationwide, it unobtrusively reminds Americans what national holidays they should observe this December: Hanukkah Ball, Kwanzaa Parade, Muslim Eid Carnival, Breast Cancer Gala, and Family Violence Bash (not necessarily in that order). In case you missed it, Chr***mas is not part of the holiday season. Come to think of it, it has never been. What Chr***mas? Never heard of it.

The suspicious Madonna stamp on the poster may seem like a weak compromise, but we believe it's a wise move to soften the blow and to ensure a smooth transition to a new progressive era.

MORE >>


Stalin's half-man, half-ape super-warriors

Super-troopers: Stalin wanted Planet of the Apes-like troops, insensitive to pain and hardship.

The Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Stalin to scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

MORE >>


Gay Dentist Movie a Critical Success

Proving that homosexuality comes in all professions, the new gay dentistry film Broke Back Molar is transgressing all boundaries. It was once thought to be a profession for straights only, but this new film speaks to power in a way that none has before (besides the gay cowboy movie Brokeback Mountain, currently in theaters near you).

"It breaks all stereotypes," says student John Welshman. "I always thought dentists were straight! Boy did this open my eyes!"

The Gay and Lesbian Association of Dentists (GLAD) applauded the movie as "groundbreaking." Howard Fine, President of GLAD, could not be happier. "Over 80% of dentists are really gay. The rest are sadists," Fine stated bluntly.

MORE >>


My American Revolutionary Kicked Your Commie Revolutionary's Ass

This email exchange started when a student from Communist China currently living in Japan bought an anti-Che T-shirt "My American Revolutionary Kicked Your Commie Revolutionary's Ass" from Che-Mart, an online store associated with the People's Cube. This letter makes one ponder about what America means to people in other countries, what message American freedom sends to the world by the very virtue of its existence. It also makes one think about those Americans who want to change this country, to make it look more like the Old World, and thus to kill hope for people like Billy.

MORE >>


INTERNATIONALE (Rap Version)
More revolutions per minute than any capitalist label!



Red Square Records, the new recording label of The People's Cube, is proud to present the first single by progressive, hip-hop artist Jihad E. Titled "Internationale," the song is a rousing tribute to the Communist Internationals (or Cominterns) of the twentieth century.

NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS FROM PROGRESSIVE SONGWRITERS AND MUSICIANS!

MORE >>


Socialized Healthcare: No Drugs For The Useless!
A foreign report from Dr. Fuku, on assignment in Europe


Voice of progress: kill the health care hogs!

"Kill the health care hogs!" is the progressive message we hear increasingly from the more socially advanced comrades in Europe. How many times have you stood in line at the pharmacy behind an ancient decrepit walking dead? Inevitably, they order dozens of medications and then pay almost nothing as our Mother State picks up the tab! How is one to deal with these selfish broken-down useless monsters as they suck the economic lifeblood from our Cities?

As usual, the Europeans have been leading the way...

MORE >>


Kazakhstanis Against Borat

Is this for real or just a clever spoof in the style of CFK? Go to StopBorat.com (highly recommended) and decide for yourself.

The fact is, Kazakhstan's Foreign Ministry threatened legal action against comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, who wins laughs by portraying the central Asian state as a country populated by drunks who enjoy cow-punching as a sport.

MORE >>


Radical Islam Surrenders to Progressivism

We can withstand your guns and tanks, but please, kill us all before you inflict more sensitivity training!

The War on Terror has entered a new successful stage once the US field commanders began to force the enemy units to comply with the same government-imposed rules and restrictions that the US Army increasingly faces on a daily basis.

One man, identified only as a "Soldier for Allah" explained, "We were led into a classroom and had to sit in circles for what they called 'Collective Self-Attaining Support Sessions' where they lectured us on matters such as "Gender Awareness." "Multicultural Identity." and "Environmental Racism." Even in Saddam's prisons, I was never accused so often of being guilty!"

MORE >>



Let's Do Empire Right!

The 2008 Presidential election is just around the corner. We can't run our capitalist puppet Bush for a third time, Cheney's been compromised, so we've got to find some other incarnation of evil to run, to preserve both the Empire and our undeserved hegemony. The Left has competent, well-respected, and ethical statesmen who've risen up from the unwashed masses during the Bush years. The downtrodden are fed up with our imperialist wars and with the destruction of the planet for the sake of our boldfaced greed. We need a new sinister plan!

MORE >>


Jewish Terrorists Misfire

Miami Beach-based Militant Zionist Octogenarian Terror Group most likely responsible

We break our rule of publishing only original stories for Comrade Julia Gorin, our undercover field operative, who first published this piece in Jewish World Review. In the past, she had also succesfully infiltrated Opinion Journal, FrontPage Magazine, Fox News, and other right-wing bourgeois organs.

Operating on the mistaken assumption that engaging in terrorism can win sympathy for Jews the way it does for Muslims, two Israeli men opened fire on Palestinian civilians in separate incidents last month. But even though attacking the World Trade Center and the Pentagon four years ago turned out to be the best public relations move for Muslims yet, the two Israeli settlers misfired in their petty, low-key attempts to duplicate that successful strategy.

MORE >>


Muslim Riots Spread to Amish, Hare Krishnas, Jews, Others
Hare Krishnas: "We are tired of smirks and dissing while working our asses off at major airports for little or no pay. Enough is enough! We demand state-enforced conversions and equal redistribution of faith and donations!"

The French Muslim riots, caused by an uncontrollable reaction to poverty, racism, and a profound sense of alienation from the larger society, have recently inspired some American groups who share very similar grievances, to use mass violence as a means of gaining recognition and respect.

As low income also immediately translates into uncontrollable violence, the first American neighborhoods to start rioting were the Chinatowns. Realizing that Chinatowns are among the poorest parts of the country, community leaders have encouraged the use of violence to raise the material wealth -- and self-esteem -- of the residents.

MORE >>


ACLU and al Qaeda: Possible Split?

Rumors of a possible split between leaders of ACLU and al Qaeda have been fueled by an increased chatter level over the past few weeks, as follows from these interoffice memos obtained by our field operative at ACLU headquarters, 125 Broad Street in New York.

* * *
From: ACLU Board of Directors
To: Al Qaeda Headquarters

Dear Sir:
In your videotaped statement broadcast by al-Jazeera Mr. Ayman al-Zawahiri looks like a respectable statesman who appreciates reasonable dialogue. As such, we hope you will address our grievances for the sake of our common goal, which we know you still believe in...

MORE >>


E-indictments

E-indictments are sweeping the nation! Criminalize your neighbor, spouse, boss, co-worker, or a mere stranger with E-indictments! Most cards are free, some are reserved for Party members only. Every card sent helps eliminate an enemy of the people. Note: cats, dogs, and most barn animals cannot be indicted.

To have a public enemy of your choice indicted you must first give a contribution to the Democratic Party campaign. Terms of confinement may vary. Not valid in all Red States.

MORE >>


God Yields to Angry Left, Distributes Disasters Equitably

"The vigorous campaign led by human rights groups accusing God of favoritism towards Western countries and of unfair distribution of natural disasters that targeted minorities has caused God to reconsider His ways," God's spokesman announced yesterday at a press-conference held by an international clergy group representing Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and other religions. "This summer's unusual flooding in Europe and two devastating hurricanes in the USA serve as a proof of God's reconstructed, more equitable, and politically correct approach to weather patterns," the spokesman said...

MORE >>


Have good wholesome fun scaring away weak liberals with the ghosts of work, family, responsibility, capitalism, Rush Limbaugh, and others!
SCARE THE INTRACTABLE INTO OBEDIENCE! (Now in two versions)

Scare those annoying unaborted fetuses with real monsters!

Did I miss anyone?


Post them here! >>

(This poster is now available on a T-Shirt or any other item of your choice)


THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
Exactly one year ago the progressive world of the dead was preparing to vote for John Kerry:

International Coalition of Dead Voters Endorses John Kerry

The International Coalition of Dead Voters has always supported progressive causes, being the most dedicated constituency of the Democratic Party. Consistently voting for the political Left they are playing an increasingly important role in the American democratic process. It is important that this Halloween all dead people of good will, again, take advantage of early voting and cast their vote for John Kerry.

MORE >>


What Would Che Say?


Ernesto Che™ Guevara signing order to arrest and shoot everybody at Cafepress.com.

A lot of progressive people ask themselves when faced with life's problems: What would Che™ say? We can assure you that in most cases our Ernie would say, Put 'em up against the wall and shoot 'em!

And this is exactly what he would say in this case as well. Shoot the photographer who took the famous picture and all of his family members who hold the copyright to that image. The same goes for the Cafepress.com executive board, their lawyers, programmers, designers, mail room clerks, and the poor Albanian cleaning lady - for being capitalist pig-dog profiteers, the "Little Eichmans" in Ward Churchill's words, who dare make a living by exploiting Che's image, his life, and passion. They explicitly or implicitly participate in the running of Che™ through the grinds, the gears, and the conveyer belt of the hated capitalist industry which Che™ sought to destroy.

MORE >>


Hillary-Guevara '08 shorts, anyone?

Cafepress.com on many of its news pages is promoting a pro-communist store that, among hammers and red stars, also sells "Hillary Guevara" design based on the famed Che™ picture by the Cuban photographer Korda. One can buy Hillary Guevara shirts, pins, mugs, bags, baby and doggie items, and yes, boxer shorts commanding you to "vote Hillary '08." More on that later.

In our previous story we described how Cafepress.com censored our "Che is Dead" design with a hairy skull in a beret on a vague pretext of copyright infringement - while they turned a blind eye on other shopkeepers who blatantly used corporate logos and trademarks in designs that denigrated American corporations and capitalism in general.

MORE >>

UPDATE:
10/18/05 - 1:30pm

Last night I went on Cafepress and created the "Che is dead" shop again, to see what happens. It has been up for more than 12 hours without purging and sold 3 "Che is Dead" shirts! Looks like our satirical attack worked!

Which means we are capable of defeating the leftist obstructionism if we just show a little effort. I encourage all our comrades to do the same everywhere. Speak openly, be persistent, be unafraid. We shall - how you say it - overcome?

Cafepress.com Censors The People's Cube

On Oct. 9th I created a section in my Cafepress.com online store with T-shirts featuring a black and white picture of a hairy skull wearing a beret and a caption saying, "Che is dead, get over it." On the following day Cafepress removed these products from my store even though someone has already ordered and paid for a shirt. They referred to copyright infringement as an excuse.

I understand and respect the copyright law, but did I really violate it? Here's my letter to Cafepress.

Dear Content Usage Associate,

A picture of a hairy skull in a beret that I drew myself as an artist can not be an infringement of anyone's copyright. I assure you it isn't even Che Guevara's skull...

MORE >>


Israel Dismantles; World's Problems End

Sharon: "It's not every day when
the French, the Germans, Muslims, Communists, Nazis, Arabs,
Socialists, and the United Nations agree on things, so when they do,
it's obvious that they must be correct."

Persistent rhetoric coming from concerned progressive critics worldwide has finally convinced Israeli officials that the state of Israel has no moral right to exist. "That's it," Prime Minister Ariel Sharon explained at a press conference. "We are dismantling the Nation of Israel. I'm leaving for Poland next week."

"My cabinet and I had long discussions about world troubles, and we concluded that our critics are right - all the troubles can be traced back to us. So, in order to resolve these issues, we felt it would be best to extend our withdrawal beyond Gaza to include the West Bank and Israel proper," Sharon said. "The Gaza pullout was only a test, and the ensuing waves of peace and brotherhood it had triggered in Palestine and beyond, encouraged us to disband altogether. Without us here, people of the world will finally be able, once again, to live in permanent harmony and understanding - just like they all did before Israel's founding nearly sixty years ago."

MORE >>


Let's Do Imperialism Right

$.$. Halliburton's simple plan to continue Imperialism apace, strengthen Capitalist class at the expense of the oppressed, ensure its political hegemony, and put a damn pretty penny in each and every one of his bank accounts.

As every right-wing fascist knows, democracy is cumbersome and inefficient. Try to get something accomplished and you find yourself butting heads with every unwashed, uncouth commoner who has no conception of what's good for Class, Empire and the world...

MORE >>


Utopia Bay Beach Resort: Paradise for Weary Activists

Are you a professional radical activist? Has your rigorous schedule of anti-war and anti-capitalism rallies left you exhausted? Perhaps you're beginning to feel more like a programmed automaton than a free-thinking human being? Are slogans like "No blood for oil" starting to seem a bit inane and trite? If so, you could be suffering from Protest Fatigue Syndrome (PFS), a common malady among full-time malcontents.

MORE >>


The People's Cube

Attention progressive, socialist, liberal, pacifist, anarchist, feminist, or environmentalist debaters! Whether you are fighting class enemy over the Internet, in school, or at your parent's house over dinner, this tool is for you. No more awkward mumbling or looking for the right word! Just enter your ideological opponent's name and generate a Progressive Truth that will render your enemies speechless!

The People's Research Institute (PRI) has found a way of stopping right-wing ideology in America and ending our losses at the ballot box: we need to face our opponent's "facts" and "logic" by learning how to frame the debate. The Progressive Truth Generator™ will help you to set the terms of debate on issues in your favor and quickly terminate all discussion!

This research is ongoing. We encourage you to submit your favorite debate framing elements for the following groups: "adjectives," "nouns," and "'because' statements" here >>


Mother Moonbat: The Movie. Don't miss It!!!

We are proud to present our first video production.
On Sunday, Sept. 18th, when a huge full moon shone over the city and miasmic odors oozed quite appropriately from disturbed sewage systems, Cindy Sheehan's bus stopped at Lafayette Ave. Presbyterian Church in Brooklyn, letting out a small pack of moonbats. Out trusty camera captured the event in a night-vision mode, complete with the sermon and a short interview with Mother Moonbat herself. She was apprehensive at first, but when we said we represented a socialist Karl Marx Treatment Center, she smiled and relaxed...

MORE >>


Million Moonbats March
From the mouth of Laika The Space Dog, chief coordinator >>



Who let the gays out?
"Southern Decadence" in New Orleans,
Sept. 5, 2005

We understand the importance of gay pride here at The People's Cube, but could there be a worse timing or place for such frivolity? This Sunday, Sept. 5, two dozen gay men and a few lesbians paraded down New Orleans's famous thoroughfare, Bourbon Street, while wearing beaded necklaces, hula skirts, and wigs - at the time when all progressive media outlets, political activists, and Democratic Party leaders have selflessly converged to paint a lurid picture of horror, death, and desperation in that very area, multiplied by Republican incompetence, racism, and mismanagement!...

MORE >>


No text...

Words fail to describe this tragedy


Iraqi Looter Turns Up in New Orleans

The donkey-cart Baghdad looter, whose image was lovingly reproduced by worldwide media networks two years ago at the start of the Iraqi war, has turned up in New Orleans this year with colleagues
Members of the Louisiana National Guard, fresh from Iraq, have stated that the scene in New Orleans bears an eerie resemblance to Baghdad in the wake of the Hussein regime's collapse. A few Guardsmen, formerly with the 3rd ID, believe they saw familiar faces among The Big Easy's looters, whom they witnessed filling a donkey cart with furniture stolen from Mayor Nagin's office. Some others were simply carrying chairs away on their backs--as did Muhammad Al Sayef, a self-described serial looter who turned up in New Orleans this week for the four-day media extravaganza and made himself available for interviews.

MORE >>


Commander In Chief

The latest creation by counter-revolutionary agents provocateurs and chain dogs of the bourgeoisie who defaced our Commander In Chief's image and signed it with ThePeoplesCube.com and Che-Mart.com's URLs.

MORE >>


Howard Dean's Constructive Solution: Even Killing Field

Dr. Dean: "To rectify the situation,
all those whites who evacuated submerged homes must be returned to those homes and drowned immediately."

While Senator Clinton has proposed a commission to determine just how racist the hurricane and Government have been, Howard Dean seeks to cut out the middleman. "We don't need a commission to know that this is really about race," chairman of the Democratic Party said in a speech to the National Baptist Convention of America, one of the nation's largest black church groups. "Natural disasters never kill this many white people. Well, if the natural disasters don't want to play fair, we will."

Tired of hearing that the Democrats are a party of baseless finger-pointing without constructive solutions, the former presidential candidate Howard Dean offered an undeniably constructive solution in his Wednesday speech in Miami, Fla....

MORE >>


Katrina Reporters: Act Locally, Think Globally

As events unfold in New Orleans, the Third World watches in astonishment

In Mogadishu, militants laughed and fired guns in the air after watching CNN reports on looting in New Orleans. "With American citizens like that, who needs enemies!" laughed Sheikh Hassan Dahir Aweys. "I was going to infiltrate America and blow myself up in a shopping mall, but I'll take my chances here, thank you very much!"

MORE >>


America Strikes Back At The Environment

As Americans are trying to come to grips with nature's attack on the Gulf Coast, reports are growing about an increased level of hate crimes against environment in US cities and rural areas. In Georgia, a man was arrested for screaming environmental slurs at the passing clouds and threatening them with a shotgun, while in other areas local residents were seen "accidentally" ramming trees, rocks, and flowery hedges with their cars, trucks, and SUVs. No warm fuzzy feelings remain towards the environment in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana. A couple driving a car with a bumper sticker that said "Nature Lovers" were dragged out of the vehicle and beaten with sticks by a gang of angry neighbors.

MORE >>


Coalition of the Gloating: No Hurricane Relief for USA!

The day after Hurricane Katrina smashed into eastern Louisiana and western Mississippi, leaving a swath of devastation comparable to some of the worst in history, a multi-national coalition formed for the express purpose of discouraging countries from providing any relief aid to the beleaguered inhabitants of the Gulf Coast.

MORE >>


Vengeful Science Sends Fire and Brimstone on Bible Belt

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. promises hell to unbelievers unless they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due with the hand of humility. "Lo! Science is Forgiving, Merciful!"
As Hurricane Katrina dismantles Mississippi's Gulf Coast, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the firebrand scientist of the fundamentalist strain of environmental doctrine, has unleashed a fiery sermon at The Huffington Post offices, stating that Americans had brought the devastation upon themselves for sinning against Science.

"Had Bush signed the Kyoto Treaty last night as the hurricane approached, it would have been turned aside, for Science is Forgiving, Merciful!" roared the ultraprogressive pulpiter who is sometimes criticized for interpreting scientific texts too literally. "But Bush and Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour went against science, they sealed their ears to Science's prophets, and for that Science unleashed its wrath on the unbelievers! Hell shall be their home: an evil fate!"

"It is a mortal sin to think that Science is open to interpretation, that scientific phenomena can mean more than one thing, or that Climate Change has a million factors! That would be just as bad as the ludicrous literal interpretation of Scripture by Christians!" Kennedy went on. "Fight those who do not profess the true faith! Remember that Science gives firmness to the believers, and it instills terror into the hearts of the unbelievers!"

MORE >>


Osama to Cindy: Will You Be My 37th Wife?

A new video released today on al Jazeera captivated not only regulars enticed by displays of flying body parts and beheadings, but drew in scores of reality TV aficionados, many of whom wept tears of sympathetic tenderness.

In what may well become known as the world's most romantic marriage proposal, Osama Bin Laden, president of the al Qaeda network, stumbled in the midst of his latest fatwa against Western infidels, then produced a small box from the folds of his robe. He fell to one knee and, looking straight into the camera, uttered in perfect English, "I love you Cindy Sheehan. Will you marry me, baby doll?"...

MORE >>


Hurricane Shield Revisited
Clearly, if America had elected John Kerry in 2004, none of the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina would have happened. This is what we said almost exactly a year ago in a story below - and we stand by it!

Kerry To Build Hurricane Shield If Elected
By Red Eye
09/09/04 - 1:22 am

In addition to his previous campaign promises meant to improve the life situation for those who resent capitalism at the expense of those who are happy with it, Senator John F. Kerry has now announced a plan to harness the very nature itself...

MORE >>


It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world...

Marx, Jesus, Iraq, Moonbats, and MSM: It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world!

Thanks to our trusty Dr. Fuku who posted these images here. We thought they were too good to be buried in comments, so we made this collage.

Poor Casey would fit in the top picture, but there's no place for him in the bottom one. If he were to come back to life they'd bury him again.

MORE >>


Global Warming: Alaska Needs More Air Conditioners

Polar bears in Alaska are being forced to
adapt to the heat by lazing about on the porches of their caves and drinking all day.

Senators John McCain and Hillary Clinton have returned from a high-profile, omni-partisan, and taxpayer-funded fact-finding tour in Alaska, claiming to have found incontrovertible proof that global warming is the result of US imperialism.

"Go up to places like we just came from, it's a little scary," Senator McCain (R-AZ) asserted. "Green grass, wildflowers, even trees! Yet I clearly remember from the movie "Snow Dogs" starring award-winning Cuba Gooding Jr. that Alaska used to be covered with snow!"

MORE >>


Iran Nuke Destroys Cleveland, Nobody Cares

Kofi Annan: "UN inspectors are confident that Iran is up to a decade away from incinerating another American city."

With the ruins of Cleveland still smoldering after a surprise nuclear attack launched by Iranian Ayatollahs last week, the world's attention is refreshingly focused on more urgent matters as most people appear to be concerned with other things.

"Like, I didn't even know where Cleveland was?" says a 23-year old shopper at the King of Prussia Mall outside Philadelphia. "I mean, like, this so totally doesn't affect me?"

In Berkeley CA, naked transgender protesters are calling public attention to the pressing issue of a complete ban on all commerce. "We're also trying to free Mumia," says one of them, pointing out that his or her protest sign was constructed "without the poison of capitalist commerce..."

MORE >>


Neocons Imprison Mick Jagger Without Trial

In an unabashed show of Neocon power, the Bush administration dragged the legendary Rolling Stones' lead singer Mick Jagger off the stage and threw him in prison without trial. It happened Sunday night in front of 36,000 Stones' fans, as the musicians were getting ready to kick off their latest tour with a concert in Boston's Fenway Park. Upon witnessing the arrest, the fans quietly went home in groups of not more than three, content in their knowledge that Jagger was right and not simply running his big mouth when he sang the new song My Sweet Neocon:

It's liberty for all,
Democracy's our style,
Unless you are against us,
Then it's prison without trial...

MORE >>


Cindy Sheehan Writes A How-To Book

Cindy Sheehan, who is angry with President Bush for disobeying her explicit orders to give in to Islamic terrorists, has bravely decided to return to Crawford, Texas, after visiting her bed-ridden mother. "I have THREE questions for the head terrorist Bush now," she says: "#1. Why did he kill Casey? #2. Why did he give my mother a stroke? #3. How much did he pay my husband to divorce me?"

Respected mainstream liberal groups descended on the White House to investigate the latest allegations. The New York Times' Liz Bumiller is investigating the claim that Bush caused Sheehan's mother's stroke through secret operations.

Sources from MoveOn.org confirm that Bush had a crack team of specialists induce a stroke in Cindy's mom to sidetrack the noble anti-Bush cause....

MORE >>


Chairman Dean's Message: Turn Up Volume

A careful analysis of today's political scene shows that people are not hearing the Democrat Party's message. "Our message is right there, people just aren't hearing it," says the Party Chairman Dr. Howard Dean. "It's in our speeches, political ads, sympathetic radio and TV programming, friendly newspaper publications, progressive blogging, and mass emailing campaigns. Our (Democrat) message is clearly the only one that makes sense. So if we're still losing at the ballot boxes, that must only mean people aren't hearing us. Therefore, we need to make the same points, but make them louder."

Millions of dollars spent by the Democrats have done surprisingly little to familiarize Americans with their program....

MORE >>


Jury Finds U.S. Constitution at Fault for Everything


Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): "It will be so much easier to write one big check to the United Nations than to figure out who gets what this year."

In the largest class-action suit ever, a federal jury has found the United States Constitution at fault for every problem faced by everyone, everywhere. The award, for over $2,000 billion, is equal to the entire federal budget. Of this, $500 billion will be for punitive damages - but most of it, $1,500 billion, will be for mental anguish suffered by the rest of the world.

"Amen to what the jury decided," crowed the prosecuting attorney. "We just won one whopper of a case! There are six billion people who have suffered enormously from the ideas of limited government, personal freedom, and private property...

MORE >>


Cindy Sheehan Loves America
By Cindy Sheehan (edited for language by Red Square)


I love America - but not the filthy rich capitalist society it is now. That America is inherently evil, it has been killing people on this continent since it was started. As if that were not enough, it is now spreading the cancer of Pax Americana and imperialism in the Middle East. No, the America that I love is the non-polluted, sparsely populated country of five hundred years ago, with its various tribes free of capitalist exploitation, breaking each other's skulls with stone axes, shitting in the woods and getting eaten by wild animals.

We want our country back!

MORE >>


"DQ Mom" Blames Elders of Zion, Finds Audience


"We will catch that Zionist Dairy Queen whoever she is, then we will rape her, and Allah willing, we will remove her head with a rusty saw."

Ella Cinder, whose son Chucky was injured in an accident involving a partially-eaten Chili Lime Chicken Strip Basket at the State Fair, is still holding a vigil outside a local Dairy Queen and is now claiming that the entire incident might have been avoided if "The Zionist Entity withdrew from Palestine."

When asked what relevance Israel had to her son tripping on a Dairy Queen product, she started to tremble and then wailed, "Shaddup, you filthy mother-disrespecting son of a bitch!"...

MORE >>


Nebraska Mom Demands Meeting With DQ CEO


"We've hated Dairy Queen for a long time, but now they've gone too far with their Chili Lime Chicken
Strip Baskets!"

Inspired by Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a slain soldier who is camping outside President Bush's ranch until she gets a face-to-face explanation of why he killed her son, other mothers begin to demand apologies for their grievances as well.

In Wipeit NE, mom Ella Cinder has pitched a tent outside a local Dairy Queen, demanding a meeting with its CEO so he can explain his culpability for her 32-year old son Chucky slipping on a partially-eaten Chili Lime Chicken Strip Basket at the State Fair.

MORE >>


Jihadists Against Bag Searches


If you want to print this picture click here
for a bigger and cleaner version.
A new civil rights group is fighting a shameful practice: bag searches in the New York City subways that are infringing on the rights of suicide bombers to kill and maim hundreds of New Yorkers. The group that calls itself Jihadists Against Bag Searches distributed flyers today to straphangers (image, left), warning them of the erosion of civil liberties in America.

Dressed in oversized trench coats and carrying heavy backpacks, the group members asked the New Yorkers a simple yet disarming question: "Is this the country you really want to live in, if it profiles a minorit that has blown up cars, buildings, buses, trains, and airplanes in the past?"

"They're right," a concerned young lawyer told our correspondent." With so many people entering the subway, how can we be sure that the searches are absolutely random? There's a big chance it's all a cover-up for profiling minorities. If the police succeeds in preventing them from blowing me up on the train, it will be the end of my civil liberties...

MORE >>


NY Times to Roberts: Why weren't your children aborted?

The Drudge Report story about the New York Times investigating the adoption by John Roberts of his two children continues to generate intolerant rhetoric in the right-wing conservative circles. We asked the New York Times Executive Editor to give us his take on this story. Here is what he told The People's Cube:

As is often the case, the original "source" of this "story," the Drudge Report is wrong, overwrought and a gross misrepresentation of what has happened. What really happened is that our reporters, with great care, understanding the sensitivity of the issue, only asked a few legitimate questions.

One of our reporters simply asked, "Are these children really from South America? They look awfully white to me. Are they really children, or are they midgets with severe conservative right-wing agendas? Are these alleged "children" members of the Federalist Society?"

MORE >>


Amends for Hiroshima: Congress To Bomb Two U.S. Cities

In a belated expression of remorse for the nuclear strikes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki sixty years ago, Congress has authorized the Army to launch apologetic nuclear strikes on two American cities. The selection of cities is not final, but they will most likely be Dallas and Houston in a nod to the Democratic desire to attack cities in a "red" state.

MORE >>


Kennedy: The Shuttle Doesn't Need To Be Fixed


Kennedy: "The biggest threat to the shuttle Discovery is George Bush and the Republican Party!"

Encouraged by the success of his attack against President Bush's plan to fix Social Security, Democratic Senator Edward Kennedy took it a step further today, launching an attack against NASA's plan to fix the shuttle Discovery while in orbit.

"There is no need to fix the shuttle," said Kennedy. "I categorically reject the deceptive and dangerous claim that there is something wrong with it! The shuttle will serve us another forty years without problem. The biggest threat to Discovery today is not the foam tiles, it's George Bush and the Republican Party."

MORE >>


ACLU Lawyers Volunteer to Get Their Heads Sawed Off


When the Taliban complain about broken AC in their
cells, what else can we do but allow them to saw our
heads off?
Getting one's head sawed off might seem like reason for concern, but in fact, ACLU lawyers turning themselves over to their Guantanamo clients for this purpose have gone a long way in addressing Taliban dissatisfaction with the camp's amenities like poor wi-fi reception.

In an unprecedented display of compassion, volunteers from the ACLU and Amnesty International are lining up to get their heads sawed off by disgruntled Taliban prisoners. This new spirit of international caring has its genesis in the Human Shields tradition...

MORE >>


Africa to Hillary: How Much for Your Daughter?


Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor:
"How much for your daughter?"

A love-struck African playboy, inspired by Hillary Clinton's values, has bid 40 goats and 20 cows for her daughter Chelsea. Normally, Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor is not interested in American girls. However, Godwin and his family were impressed by Hillary Clinton standing by her husband during the Monica Lewinksy scandal, saying, "She behaved like an African woman." Godwin is hoping the apple does not fall far from the tree, and his premeditated sexual dalliances will be forgiven in advance.

Members of the right-wing conspiracy immediately went on the attack:"Hillary's third world values seem ...

MORE >>


New Spirit of Municipal Randomness
Random Bag Checks in NY Subway Lead to A New Spirit of Municipal Randomness


New York firefighters randomly douse one house per neighborhood per week.

Inspired by the success of random bag checks among people entering the New York City subway system, the City has decided to expand the idea of randomness to its other functions. Police Commissioner Kelly, the architect of random policing, spoke of why randomness works so well: "The idea is that no one is any better or any worse than anyone else; if we're all suspects, then no one is a suspect, and no one will feel hurt. As we know, the main function of a police force is to make everyone feel good about themselves."

MORE >>




Most people know that Americans benefit from

  • high taxes
  • powerful unions
  • limited consumer choice
  • strong government control

But most people lack the training to fully understand why we derive benefits from these policies, and why government control over public anything results in unsurpassable quality (transportation, education, health, etc.).

To remedy your "knowledge deficit" you can ask us any question you choose, and it will be explained by the legendary Professor Paul Kurgman in a language that you can understand.

From the evils of profiteering, corporatism, and economic exploitation to the rewards of regulation, social justice, and community/stakeholder involvement, Professor Kurgman will use his agile mind to clarify the otherwise intimidating field of economics.

MORE >>


Bush Nominates Ray Romano as Supreme Judge

Soon after President Bush named Fred Thompson, former Senator and actor on the NBC television series "Law & Order," to help shepherd his yet-to-be named Supreme Court nominee through the Senate, he also announced a much-awaited list of nominees. "After a long process of selection, aimed at satisfying all parties and groups," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said, "The President has finalized a list that he hopes everybody will love."

MORE >>


Winston Palimpsest Does Tour de France

A press photographer at the Tour de France captured this image of our very own Professor Palimpsest protesting the Yankee imperialist, Lance Armstrong.

MORE >>


Newspaper Runs Out Of Anti-Bush Headlines

It was only a matter of time before the mainstream media ran out of catchy anti-Bush headlines. Starting with the 2000 elections the US editors appeared to be engaged in a prestigious contest: who would cast the President in the worst possible light. The opportunities seemed unlimited. The headline-writers spent countless nights awash in the pale glow of their monitors, coming up with one brilliant hook after another. But four years of consistent Bush-bashing have eventually exhausted everyone's vocabulary and imagination. So when George W. Bush was reelected in November of 2004, several pundits sensed that a crisis of creativity would soon plague the media. By the end of the second quarter of this year, the national media hit rock bottom.

"There are only so many words one can string together while remaining impartial and objective - even if it's such fertile topic as our dumb and evil dictator President who is bent on bombing caribou herds into the Stone Age in Alaska...

MORE >>


Live 8: A Corporate Conspiracy
Africa must remain poor to avoid MacDonaldization

By Comrade Smirnoff, our (The People's) political consultant in Edinburgh, Scotland. He has his own progressive blog, http://www.world-socialism.blogspot.com


Bob Geldof: He may dress like a Maoist, but he doesn't fool us!

They seek to 'MacDonaldize' African society just as they have done the West. With the forward advance of global capitalist hegemony in the West, all that is solid has melted into the air. In this context, Africa is not poor at all; it is spiritually and culturally rich, free from the rabid individualism and excessive materialism of the west. Let's keep it that way!

"This is not about charity; this is about trying to redress the balance between rich and poor."
-- Elton John.

Right wing cynics will question why we ought to take lessons from Mr. John, a man who lives a life of extravagant, hedonistic luxury (he recently claimed to spend £200,000 per month on flowers) ...

MORE >>


Chomsky, Churchill, Fulani Cancel "Little Eichmanns" Tour to London

NEW YORK - July 7. As news of London terrorist attack by an al-Qaeda group spread Thursday, three progressive intellectuals Noam Chomsky, Ward Churchill, and Lenora Fulani immediately felt in their hearts the need to reach out and explain to Londoners why the attacks that killed over 40 people and injured 300 were their own fault and that they fully deserved what they got.

The three progressive icons gathered in New York for a press conference, where they stated that "Based on the first reactions out of London, we sense a glaring lack of guilt for being attacked. It is our duty as citizens of this world, to go to Britain and instill an enormous amount of guilt in the government and its constituents. We would like to see the British apologize before al-Qaeda for what happened"...

MORE >>


Pictures From Iraq:
Too Shocking & Graphic for The Mainstream Media


EXCLUSIVE!

Photos that will never make the news...

You will not see these pictures in Time, Newsweek, and the New York Times!

Why?

Follow the link and scroll to the bottom... >>



Abdul Mendel, America Last League,wearing non-programmable tin hat
America Last!
Interview with Abdul Mendel, America Last League

"Basically we have several warring groups among us screaming at each other over the coffee. The moderate ones want to pull back from occupied lands we took illegally in violation of international law in the Mexican-American war of 1848 and return this sacred soil to their rightful owners."

MORE >>


Dick Durbin's Surprise Fourth of July Speech

Washington , July 4 - In another half-assed attempt at apologizing for his Flag Day (June 14th) speech on the Senate Floor, Senator Dick Durbin from the Islamic Republic of Illinois ( IRI ) has decided to change his name to Dick Durbin-Laden. "As a super patriot and big friend of our military," the Senator explained, "I feel it is my citizen's duty to do it out of solidarity with the poor mistreated detainees at Guantanamo Bay detention facility. Until every detainee is freed, given a house and home, two cars in every garage, a chicken in every pot, 72 live virgins, and a non-flushable Koran, we will fight the good fight, right every wrong, and out-French the French in pusillanimity every chance we get," Senator Durbin-Laden added.

MORE >>


NEW SECTION:



Dr. Leonid Fuku is an official delegate of the USSA Bureau of Health, and future commander of the United Health Care System of the Americas.

"Clearly, the future is with United Global Front for Healthcare, administered through a centralized offshore office. It will solve all medical issues for all the world's citizens. I, Health Kommissar Leonid Fuku, am willing to address all things medical. Ask your questions, but clearly state your Party standing and location, or answers will not be forthcoming." ~ Doctor Fuku

ASK Dr. FUKU >>


Château Babeuf's award-winning
"Propaganda"
Syrah
A bottle a day keeps thoughtcrimes at bay
Contains mind-control agents


European Left Helps DNC to Re-Educate America

This site, as well as the Mother Site (CFK) has been bombarded with righteous anti-American, Republican-bashing posts written in good English, without mentioning the posters' nationality. But site administrators have a way of checking IP addresses. Some of them came from the Netherlands, some from Germany, and all of them point to RIPE Network Coordination Centre in Amsterdam...

MORE >>


Supreme Court Ushers in Collectivization; Purges to Follow

WASHINGTON (PC) - A divided Supreme Court ruled Thursday that private property is a big lie concocted by the Bush Administration to further its capitalistic agenda, in a decision anxiously awaited by all communists and other progressive pressure groups in America.

The Supreme Court's decision cleared the way for the city of New London, Conn., to seize private homes and businesses against the owners' will, and bulldoze family residences in order to build projects that generate more tax revenue for the Common Good™.

MORE >>


Tikritos: Cruel Ranch and Other Progressive Flavors


Tikritos:

It's cool, its progressive, it's rebellious!
Every crunch is a loud political statement!
Great for street protests and sleepovers!

Our affiliate,