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Let us ponder on this Christmas Eve about whether we would be better off if Christ were to equal Obama in moral and intellectual prowess.
As we celebrate our narrow escape from the Mayan-Republican Apocalypse of December 21, 2012, the American media is living up to its reputation as the people's fearless truth-teller, by correctly attributing our collective salvation to Barack Obama. Their consensus can be best expressed by this unbiased quote from CNN: "If you don't think Obama is god, you're just stupid."
No, these are not Halloween decorations from the Kremlin, nor are they visual aids in a KGB class on how to stage weird accidents.
Following the recent school shooting, the national media once again focuses on the dangerous nature of guns - because focusing on the dangerous nature of psychopaths may cause the nation to recognize the same traits in many media figures, activists, and political leaders they support.
Inspired by early 20th century Russian Suprematism art, this design features an authentic image of Comrade Red Square, People's Director, Dept. of Visual Agitation and Unanimity at The People's Cube.
Impress your Zionist friends, colleagues, co-conspirators, and family members with this proof of being an Intergalactic Zionist Conspiracy Charter Member. It's time to come out of the closet and show the world who's really in charge!
Mandatory reading:
Israel is in the news again, but there's nothing new about that. In fact, the conflict is so NOT new that any of our old stories can pass for current events if you don't look at the date stamp. Here's the proof.
You may wonder why Dear Leader hasn't yet upgraded to Vista or Windows 8, but the fact is, all White House computers are running the outmoded 2008 Hope'N'Change Operating System, which is incompatible with any private sector software.
Last night on Twitter, @ThePeoplesCube started a #HamasBumperStickers trend, which was picked up by tens of thousands people and quickly rose to the #1 trend not just in the United States but also worldwide - the fact promptly picked up by Michelle Malkin's Twitchy Team.
Once upon a time in a land far away, a flourishing chicken pen secured an eclectic gathering of reasonably happy chickens, as chicken happiness goes. Each morning our industrious chicken rancher admired his chicken settlement from the comforts of his country kitchen, while enjoying his French press coffee, gluten-free toast, and two eggs over easy with a dash of Tabasco. Granddad had bequeathed the farm to his son and father to son so the resulting pride was abundant and responsibilities unending.
Deprived of free political speech, Soviets had developed a culture of underground political jokes. I used to remember thousands of them. Already in America I discovered that most of my old Soviet jokes didn't work in translation. It wasn't so much the language difference as the fact that Americans had no first-hand knowledge of a totalitarian government, ideological uniformity, and shameless propaganda.
The new day of flexibility is upon us. At last we can deal with the enemies the way enemies should be dealt with. This time we will get it right! Previous incarnations of the progresive model have used crude methods of fear, imprisonment, and execution to combat the enemies of the State. Here is where we, the New Vanguard of the Revolution, are superior to those who have come before.
NOVEMBER 7 is the glorious 95th anniversary of the Socialist Revolution in Russia, celebrated by the masses all over the world with spontaneous marching in goose-stepping columns as they share their rations of potatoes and beet vodka.
If adding an exclamation point to the word "Forward" won't excite women voters, nothing will.
Democratic National Hurricane Center today updated its predictions of the impact of Hurricane Sandy on the densely democratically populated East Coast, painting an ambiguous picture for the vital electoral region.
The phrase "binders full of women" speaks to the progressive psyche in ways that the non-initiated can't possibly understand. Once again, the progressives are letting their primal fantasies choose their battles for them.
The townhall debate wasn't even over, and already the Internet was afire with snarky "women in binders" jokes, parodies, and pictures, prompting a glowing CNN report about "a Twitter hashtag, a series of memes on Tumblr, and a Facebook page with over 100,000 fans."
Reasonable people are scratching their heads: what is so terribly wrong with this seemingly innocuous, if awkward, way to describe Mitt Romney's efforts to find qualified women applicants?
With all the electronic toys, computers, and gadgets cluttering his room, he probably wishes his presidency also had an "undo" option - or, at least, a "backspace" key. But even the oversized "reset" button, which Hillary swore would work like a charm, turned out to be a plastic dud, and is now collecting dust in the corner next to Sandra Fluke's special-edition wire hanger and the mainstream media's "Men in Black" flashy thingy that failed to erase anyone's memory of the last four years.
If the Romney-Obama debate reminded me of a lost chapter from Atlas Shrugged, the Ryan-Biden debate felt more like watching a rerun of "Back to the Future."
Many of us may remember playing with plastic army persons during our youth. Well, progressive science has since discovered that this game was a ploy to instill patriarchal hegemony in male child-persons, encouraging their feelings of violence and aggression towards diverse cultures. In order to educate the new generation of state's mini-adults about the concept of a modern, correct-thinking army, the UN in association with the Obama Administration have created a revised set of plastic army persons for use in state-authorized play activities.
As seen in The Washington Times
Long-time PBS anchor Jim Lehrer was arrested today after being named as the person responsible for an inflammatory broadcast, which has incited verbal violence and unrest throughout the United States and Europe.
Scores were injured and numerous buildings were burnt to the ground in the city of Itsnotsobad after a riot was started by peaceful Muslims who expressed outrage over five straight days of no provocation or insults from the West.
While this story has been covered in the New York Post, NewsBusters, JihadWatch, and linked on Drudge, I'd like to offer a little-known back story of the events - and it involves the People's Cube in more ways than one.
- It automatically rejects calls from people with a different opinion.
As seen in Front Page Magazine - now with pictures
Scores of people were injured Saturday in clashes with police as protests continued in the Muslim world against the most recent Adobe Acrobat update, downloaded Friday to one of the region's fifteen computers. Released by an American-based software company, the update allegedly provided "critical fixes improving security, stability and performance," while also addressing a number of "high priority bugs," which many in the Muslim world see as an insult to their way of life.
The following hard-hitting, well-reasoned editorial will be appearing in most of our finest daily newspapers in the next few weeks as soon as we call them up and instruct them to print it. Be on the lookout for it so you can spring into action and start writing letters of approval as soon as it appears.
As seen in The Washington Times
As Romney belatedly releases his tax returns, many experts question their authenticity, converting the documents to PDF and examining them for hidden layers. According to Sen. Harry Reid, some of the tax tables used were not in effect at the time of the alleged "returns."
If Obama had a fraction of faith in his own narrative, he would have condemned Bill Maher, returned his million dollar donation, and requested that "Religulous" be removed from Netflix, Amazon, and Blockbuster - just as he requested that Google and YouTube lose the "offensive" video.
Writing about Muslim riots becomes tiring after a while. Below are a few stories from the previous years. Just insert today's date and the most recent Party-approved excuse for violence - and you get The Current Truth™!
As seen in The Washington Times
Help Obama to organize his presidential legacy. Fill the empty frame with most memorable moments of his presidency.

The entire Progdom is up in arms since the Chair Wars started with Clint Eastwood's unprovoked attack on an innocent chair at the RNC. Instead of acting as a policy expert like all the Prog actors do, Mr. Eastwood presumed to act as an actor and delivered an acting performance. What a bizarre idea!
In light of the imminent danger that Hurricane Isaac may not, after all, obliterate the city of Tampa, it is incumbent on us to point out the only reasonable course to take to avert certain disaster.
We at NBC strive to earn our public's trust by being the most accurate and reliable news source. Since our regrettable error in reporting on the death of "Astronaut Neil Young," we now publish a correction on the controversial career of one of America's greatest hall-of-famers, astronaut Lance Armstrong, who passed away over the weekend at age 82.
Our editorial in the American ThinkerTo paraphrase Baudelaire, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world of the moral superiority of collectivism. According to Ayn Rand, if we don't convince the world otherwise, nothing else will work. Our greatest ally in this fight is human nature. Our greatest asset is morality itself, which is really, truly, undeniably, and absolutely on our side.
Republicans are so stupid, they think only "their own kind" will hear the message of reprehensible evil bubbling beneath the surface of every little thing they say—hence the term "dog whistle." But they're wrong, which is scarcely surprising since they're wrong about everything.
A study released today by the highly respected Debbie Wasserman Schultz Institute of Thinking An' Stuff has found absolute proof that the only thing preventing Middle Class Americans from having their cake and eating it too is a self-perpetuating myth fabricated by GOP Vice-Presidential candidate and parricidal maniac Paul Ryan.
Lamar Ferguson, an openly non-gay athlete of Marietta, GA, who has won his second gold in the men's 3/4 acre lawnmower event in London, was also forced to fight an uphill battle to overcome the intolerance and resentment from his fans and the sports media after going public about his life with a domestic partner of the opposite sex.Â
By now everyone has heard that Mitt Romney Hood is a felon, a tax cheat, and an accomplice to murder - but those current truths only scratch the surface of his deviancy.
Harry Mason Reid, who is known to his fans as the Senate Majority Leader, was lying in the middle of the road with no car in sight when another driver spotted him and called 911, according to a recording released Thursday. Officials said Reid was naked and threatened to kill state troopers when he was arrested late Tuesday night.Â
If you've ever suffered illness or injury, the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, bankruptcy, unwanted pregnancy, foreclosure, repossession of your car and/or furniture/appliances . . . 
On August 1 last Wednesday, gangs of intractable thoughtcriminals converged at Chick-Fil-A restaurants in an outright rebellion against progressive values. Our undercover agents could barely record everyone's license plates; they might have a better chance crossing a Nascar track during a race than getting across a Chick-Fil-A parking lot. The lines inside Chick-Fil-A were longer than at the DMV or at the unemployment offices, although not as long as the projected hospital lines upon the implementation of ObamaCare. The average line could be compared to that at an airport security checkpoint, except there was no TSA agent at the end of it. By force of habit, some of our agents joined the line thinking there was a politician giving away freebies. If only General Motors could find a way to attract as many customers without having to support traditional marriage!
On the flipside, Obama's quote reads like this:
"If you have failed, somebody along the line ruined it for you. There was a lousy teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unfair American system that caused you to fail. Somebody benefitted from your demise. If you're a loser, it's not your fault. Somebody else made that happen. Titanic didn't sink on its own. Corporations and insurance companies made a lot of money off of it, so they must be complicit. The point is, when we fail, we fail not only because of our individual shortcomings, but also because others have teamed up behind your backs. Vote for me - I'll punish the guilty and give you what's rightfully yours."
This is the house that Obama built
The opening Olympic ceremony in London has been so progressive that all the planned competitive events in the following week will surely be seen as an outmoded form of ancient barbarism, which they are. Archery? Javelin? They can only seem useful and not a complete waste of people's calories if we tie Sarah Palin to the stake as a target. The most barbaric part of the games is, of course, the very notion of competition.
Our editorial in the American Thinker
Anal Jihad is in the focus of reluctant public attention again, three years after a half-assed attempt at assassination of a Saudi official with a pound of explosives stuck up a jihadist's rectum. Back then we made a parody of an Al-Qaeda training video titled, Get Lucky With A Bomb Up Your Butt. Among other useful butt-bombing tips, the video encouraged Jihadists to find a butt buddy in order to widen their bomb-storage facility and make them accustomed to the pleasure of martyrdom. Unfortunately, life has the nasty habit of imitating our parodies.
Raymond Ibrahim reports about a new fatwa that explicitly legitimizes sodomy and even makes it obligatory if it helps to wage Jihad on the unbelievers.
Facing new polls that show his popularity evaporating to virtually nothing, especially among women, President Obama hopes America will bet on a whole new Barack Obama.
Words are living things: squiggling, wriggling and giggling like a hunnert-year-old constitution thingamajig.... 
On the Fourth of July Americans will be cynically celebrating the greatest setback world progress has ever endured in all of human history. The rest of humankind will, of course, be grieving over the dark day when the United States of America was born. To understand the full scope of this tragedy we must look back at the pre-7/04 world and see what it was like to live on planet Earth before 1776.
Prior to July 4, 1776, not a single person in the world starved, got sick, worked hard for a living, or experienced any pain and anxiety. No one had ever been oppressed or unfairly exploited because the oppressive and unfair American system had not yet been created.

The recent story of Obama celebrating Independence Day in Paris with a massive fundraiser has prompted us to envision the Dear Leader as a dreamy French mime. It was only logical then to place French Mime Obama in some American context with the caption, "Ever feel like you're in the wrong place?" The costume merely amplifies the obvious: regardless of whether he was born in Hawaii or not, Obama is not American in his heart and mind. He looks and feels out of place in any American setting that is not a gathering of snobbish elites, media bubbleheads, or mind-numb leftist radicals.
All world cultures, Western and Muslim alike, share the same moral conviction, which is commonly reflected in their laws: those who show contempt for human life by committing remorseless, premeditated murder justly forfeit the right to their own life. By this moral and legal standard, shouldn't remorseless radical groups that profess contempt for our individual freedoms and actively promote their demise, forfeit their own right to enjoy these very individual freedoms? Shouldn't their premeditated efforts to destroy the rule of law make them ineligible to be protected by these very laws?
President Obama today spoke out about an increasingly common but vile tendency on the part of many people, such as Republicans: blaming other people for their mistakes.Â
Comrades, we have a star! Watch our new member, Tommi Trudeau, deliver the glorious message of Revolution to capitalist running dogs Jamie Glazov, Dwight Schultz, and Nonie Darwish - the notorious Glazov Gang at FrontPageMag.com.Â
A research team working on a two-million-dollar government grant just made a shocking discovery: intense man-made heat waves are decimating bird populations throughout the globe, including the birds that were recently thriving in local neighborhoods. According to the researchers, anthropogenic warming-related activities are directly responsible. Steady temperature increases, especially when confined to small areas, target inactive birds that can no longer fly away to avoid the consequences. As technologically induced heat waves are being absorbed across the skin, the affected birds begin to turn brown.
In a campaign ad aired during the MTV Awards, the "Sex and the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker has generously offered all the little people of America an opportunity to feel as if they matter.
On June 14, any member of the unwashed toiling masses will have a chance to dine with her, Barack Obama, and American Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, at Parker's fabulous New York City home.
The Democrats have finally found the fault in Romney's campaign they can safely exploit. A typo made by a low-level designer for a Romney phone app, which said "A better Amercia" has now become a major political and cultural issue, consuming the best minds of the progosphere.Â
Other Bloomberg movie titles:
Clearly democracy has died, comrades. That said, who cares about the number of votes? What's important is the exit polling, which showed that in an even bigger contest than this one five months from now, Red Square would win by at least seven points. So you might say he's really the big winner tonight!Â
Brief Author Bio: In this uncertain time, where wages are stagnating and jobs are scarce for college grads, Michael Eric Dyson teaches highly marketable skills to students at Georgetown University (tuition and fees approximately $41,000 per year), in courses like "The Sociology of Hip-Hop" where the lyrics of hip-hop luminaries are parsed for their meaning.
Obama's recent photo op in Denver resulted in some curious images. One of them is a surreal bundle of human hands trying to reach Obama. That reminded me of a bizarre Soviet propaganda poster with a collage of outstretched hands and the slogan saying "We will meet the plan of glorious projects!"
DENVER -- President Obama delivered a rousing campaign speech last night to a packed house of 550 donors paying between $250 and $40,000 to attend the gala, held in the 750-seat Denver Hyatt venue.
The long-awaited Progressive World of Next Tuesday has just gotten closer with the passage of an amendment in Congress that legalizes government propaganda. What could possibly go wrong with that? It worked so well in the USSR!
Should-be-President-for-life Obama today announced his support for heterosexual marriage, thereby demonstrating continued evolution and making his reelection in November a virtual certainty.
Â
If I were to write an article about Obama's new slogan. FORWARD, it would have looked just like the one published in FrontPageMag.com. So all I had to do was illustrate it. The Obama slogan for 2012 is in and it's "Forward." The left has always been enamored of "Forwardism" or "Progressivism" which mean much the same thing. Before MSNBC had "Lean Forward," Mao had the Great Leap Forward, which killed some 40 million people, far more people than MSNBC can ever dream of tuning in to their programs.
When Lenin wanted to launch his own newspaper, he called it, "Vperod" or "Forward." The name has popped up on the mastheads of left-wing newspapers across the world. It's "Vorwarts" in Germany, "Voorwarts" in the Netherlands and "Ila al-Amam" in the Arab world. Back in New York it's "The Forward."
Well-educated experts in psychology agree that it is healthy and useful for the People's youth to have one or more state-approved imaginary friends. It is important for their future roles as citizens of the state for child-persons to learn to properly document and report suspicious activities conducted by friends, both real and imaginary. Ultimately, the goal is for child-persons to understand that the state is their only true friend.
As seen on American Thinker
A recently surfaced video of an EPA official's rant confirms what many of us already knew about the Obama Administration: they fancy themselves as the rulers of conquered territories populated by restless barbarians who must be subjugated at any cost, complete with indiscriminate and severe exemplary punishments.
Al Armendariz, Administrator for EPA's South Central Region (appointed by President Obama on November 5, 2009), thought he was among his cohorts when he said this:
"The Romans used to conquer little villages in the Mediterranean. They'd go into a little Turkish town somewhere, they'd find the first five guys they saw and they would crucify them. And then you know that town was really easy to manage for the next few years."
Our friends at PeoplesGenealogy.com, in cooperation with the current interim provisional government of Kenya and Hawaii, have published their research of Barack Obama's ancestry, starting with the oldest forebear they were able to verify.
Mitt Romney is rumored to disobey the mainstream media's Hispanic Skin Color Advisory System while vetting vice-presidential candidates. According to experts, the likely Republican VP candidate, Marco Rubio, who is of Cuban descent, is too light-skinned to be considered fully Hispanic, falling under a subprime minority group classification as White Hispanic, or WHISP.
EARTH DAY: A day of action to save the earth from farmers, ranchers, mining, timber, oil, chemical companies, and anyone else who seeks to utilize the earth's resources to enhance, enrich, and extend the lives of Americans and others worldwide. Characterized by the media's massive awareness drive to (a) remind the world that American capitalists are raping the earth and stealing its riches, thus causing all of the planet's environmental problems; (b) advocate a greater government control of land, resources, and industries; and (c) increase the constantly growing white male guilt levels. A great way to politicize spring cleaning and give an ideological rationalization for the rebirth of nature.
As seen in American Thinker: This was written when I still lived in Ukraine in the early 1990s. It was intended to be a chapter in a fact-based novel, as yet unpublished. Although the Communist Party had been officially disbanded, it still maintained a firm grip on the country, using every means of manipulation available.
Proponents of leftist ideologies around the world share one common trait: they always demand to be included, but once you let them in, they force everybody else out, while refusing to leave themselves.
Besides the presidential hat, Barack Obama wears many others: TV personality, best-selling author, inspirational speaker. And now he is the host on the new Travel Channel food series Dog, Interrupted, which focuses on eating dog and other food that defies hypocritical values of bigoted Western civilization.
Insulted by Romney's accusation of them doing Obama's bidding, enraged media demand immediate instructions from White House on how to respond.
As the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic approaches, new shocking evidence has surfaced that a racist vendetta was at the epicenter of the disaster.
This is what happens when women are denied reproductive justice. Male oppression results in female victims giving birth to internal parasites. Without government-funded contraception this could happen to you, too!
One person alone can never fill the void that Breitbart leaves behind. We need thousands of Andrew Breitbarts. We need you to be Andrew Breitbart. I am Andrew Breitbart.
~ Katie O'Malley
Who is to say that the beheading of the unbelievers is wrong? Is our civilization worth saving? What kind of a world are we leaving to our children if one can no longer advertise the killing of Jews in American newspapers? 
YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER in Obama National Redistributors Clearing White House BFD Sweepstakes! (No qualifications required to enter, win, or do anything whatsoever!)
From: Michelle Obama
Nancy Pelosi:Â "... he'd owe China $256,000,000 before he reaches puberty."
Standing on the roof of the White House and squinting through time-bending binoculars recently recovered at Area 51, US President Barack Obama reeled off an unexpectedly frank, contempt-laden indictment of his second term.
Have a family member who takes long morning showers and Refuses To Do Her Part To Save Nature™? A guilt-free son or husband who loves to tinker with things against the Greater Good™? It's out of their hands now! Dual action: it saves shower water too! With Once-A-Day Flusher's organic odors, no one will loiter in the bathroom ever again. It is scrub-scrub, rinse-rinse, then FLEE!
For more than three years, President Obama and his staff of experts have been baffled by his seemingly continuous inability to convey his messages to the public.
10 - To get invited on more cooking shows, and scarf down leftovers during commercial breaks.
Barack Obama now has a new cardboard cutout. Place him on any background and add a message. 
"We shall fight women on the beaches, we shall fight them on the playgrounds, we shall fight them in the streets, the supermarkets, shopping mall parking lots, we shall never surrender." - The GOP The narrative of the WAR ON WOMENâ„¢ is still being created, as the battles rage in the minds of the hired script writers of the DNC-Media Complex. The suffering of the women has already been established, and the war propaganda is flowing seamlessly from the Mainstream Media outlets.Â
However, the GOP side has been slow on the uptake. That gave us an idea to use old wartime posters from the Motherland to represent the War Machine of the Misogynist Republican Army (the MRA) - solely for the purpose of widening and deepening the ongoing media narrative.
This is a developing project that needs assistance from grassroots volunteers like you! Give us your war tales!
In an age of spin, Carney Barker Bob offers feeling and authenticity. His message is consistent no matter the evidence - and yet he commands daily attention by his on-the-spot, invective-rich variations on the theme. His lunatic counterfactual art is more appealing than the banal awfulness of the Reliable Sources. He is a Method actor in a production that will close in a few months. He stands superior to truth. 


70 years of American progress:
- From "We can do it!" to "We can get the government to do it!"
- From "The Great Generation" to "The Grift Generation"
- From Rosie the Riveter to Sandra the Riveted
Did you know that the boy whom Putin kissed learned to fly? Or that Putin can browse the Internet with an abacus? Or that on his birthday critics drop dead from thinking bad thoughts about Putin? Each year spent in the Kremlin makes the Motherland's President stronger, endowing him with more superpowers unbeknownst to man. For years, Party-approved rumors about Putin's supernatural abilities have been spreading over the internet in the Mother tongue. To translate them into the language of soulless capitalist oppressors is an idea whose time has come! If not now, when?

Our oil companies have long been working for Muslims to extract their oil, which they couldn't find themselves. Hollywood studios are producing pro-Muslim, anti-American propaganda movies that Muslims couldn't film themselves. And Western politicians are surrendering to them their countries, which Muslims couldn't otherwise conquer. And so on. Giving them our spaceships is just one more stroke of a shovel in leveling the playing field for the Muslims.
When Andrew Breitbart launched Big Hollywood website, he emailed me asking to write for them. Later we spoke on the phone and I wound up writing a few pieces on the topic of pop culture.Â
Once the global oil industry was dismantled so as to stop wars for oil, the world plunged into a desperate and seemingly endless global war for algae...
People's scientists yesterday took a break from their urgent research on how to procure more funding for Climate Change studies, in order to ring the alarm about a new urgent source of anxiety for the masses, which will undoubtedly cause them to demand more state protection: radical rogue asteroids.
He makes a list and checks it twice. He gives to the naughty what he takes from the nice. He drives from house to house in an armored truck. He is St. Dick, Santa's twin brother.
Speaking at the University of Miami today, President Obama boldly challenged skyrocketing oil prices by suggesting that we should start using algae instead of gas.
Recent state-wide searches of preschoolers' lunchboxes have uncovered a high incidence of parent-prepared meals in violation of federal ruling on correct food. This raises concerns, as mommy-made lunches have been known to disrupt NEA-approved brain synapses in students, causing them to develop unauthorized traits of self-interest and personal responsibility.Â
Socialist Prog Repeller Keep socialist pests away with this odor-activated talking device that reads such irritating pre-recorded messages as:
· Life isn't fair.
· Work starts at 7am.
· Why don't you pitch in and help out?
· Grab a shovel or a hammer.
· Remember to shower once a day.
· Progress is not what you think it is.
· Nobody owes you anything.
· The earth is just fine, thank you.
· Obama is not a god.
· Marxism is just an outdated conspiracy theory.
Stevie Wonder:Â I never saw her look so beautiful.
For poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou, Barack Obama has delivered. In a recent interview to The Guardian, she, now 83, spared no epithets for Obama's detractors and unbelievers: "I think he has done a remarkable job, knowing how much he has been opposed," she said. "Every suggestion he makes, the Republicans en masse fight against him or don't vote at all." It's about him being a Democrat and being the first black president, she said.
The White House is denying reports that the U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama had joined the Queen of Qatar on a high-end shopping spree in New York, spending $50,000 at a luxury lingerie boutique, closing off Madison Avenue and loading the presidential truck with $600 corsets and thongs from the Agent Provocateur store - at a time when most Americans can hardly afford Hanes underwear. 
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Following Nancy Pelosi's endorsement, Planned Parenthood has completed its long-overdue merger with the Girl Scouts organization, which conservative critics have labeled "hostile takeover." Below is the cover of the first joint issue of The American Girl magazine - featuring a photo of Speaker Pelosi teaching girls how to handle a scalpel - and sporting the following titles:
A landmark study by a major university today found the Law of Gravity is selectively enforced and that the heaviest burden tended to fall on members of disadvantaged and oppressed socio-economic groups.
A little improvement on the latest Newsweek coverasking "Why Obama's Critics Are So Dumb?"
Indeed, the fools can't see how great his new clothes look!
In addition to being world's best T-shirt salesman, comrade Che Guevara has recently gained fame of, perhaps, world's best car salesman - or at least best car salesman at Mercedes Benz, where he was also honored with a prestigious Employee of the Month Award and a commemorative plaque.
Three extra-ration cheers to Che! Let's help our comrade sell even more cars, thus infiltrating the heart of capitalist, oil-driven, industrialized Western civilization.
How? Let's collectively generate new great car-selling slogans! After all, in the glorious communist future, the Party elites will need most equal cars from the most equal manufacturer!
The People's Cube enters history once again, this time in the form of illustrations for an academic book on copyright law by Kenneth D. Crews, PhD, a professor at Columbia Law School in New York. The People's Cube 2012
The People's Cube 2011
The People's Cube 2010
The People's Cube 2009
The People's Cube 2008
The People's Cube 2007
The People's Cube 2006
The People's Cube 2005
People's Cube Satire Classics - Greatest Hits
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
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Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
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