I have been selflessly orbiting ![]() | Annual Transmission to Toiling Masses on occasion of May 1st International Workers' Solidarity Day Delivered by Laika the Space Dog, Member of Politburo, Friend of Progressive People Workers, peasants, and the unwashed toiling intelligentsia! < prolonged applause > Congratulations on surviving another glorious year of Revolution! This year we witnessed the collapse of the Republican Capitalist voting system! For the first time since 1994 no voting irregularities were reported in the mainstream media. The record turnout of dead voters, whom we like to call "necro-proxies of progress" has given the Democratic Socialists an absolute mandate to do whatever they damn well please in both The House of Representatives and The Senate. The absolutist rule of the Democratic majority shall bury the silly idea of a "republic" once and for all. Oh yes! We will bury you! |
Our Islamic Comrades struggling against American Imperialism are relocating to paradise in record numbers, upgrading their housing conditions and engaging in responsible polygamous relationships with a guaranteed quota of 72 standard-issue upper-class virgins. The Zionist entity lost a war to Hezbollah, the social welfare organization second in compassion only to the UN. Flat Fatima and Green Helmut send their warmest fatwas to Reuters and other news media covering Israel's overreaction. Remember - only cowards don't hide behind the backs of older women and face the enemy!
Today will mark the second anniversary of "Get Out of School Free Day" for Hispanic trans-legal immigrants going to public schools. All indigenous people must join today's protest against the paved roads, power lines, TVs, radios, telephones, computers, indoor plumbing, irrigation, industries, schools, and hospitals. We demand equal redistribution of E. coli in all ethnic food! In other news, the Salvation Army was sued in Boston by the EEOC for firing two Spanish-speaking employees who were given a year to learn some basic English. How "La Raza" is that? Next the EEOC must sue the US Army - until we have two separate Armies, one English speakers and one for Spanish speakers. Separate but Equal! This will make for a better unified command in a time of crisis and make giving orders easier. If it's good for The Salvation Army, it's good for the United States Army! Happy Protesting!
Now let us sing a Hymn
(turn on your sound and click on the player thingie):
Hugo Filled the Boats With Oil
Algoreluia
Hugo Filled the Boats With Oil
Algoreluia
Hugo Filled the Boats With Oil
It's for Free You Shall Not Toil
Algoreluia
Joe brought the Boats to Shore
Algoreluia
Joe brought the Boats to Shore
Algoreluia
Joe brought the Boats to Shore
Free Oil for the Poor
Algoreluia
Most rewarding of all - a new religion besides Islam and Scientology that Socialism can give a wink and a nod to - The Reformed Church of Climatology (a.k.a. The Goremons). Praise be The Weather Stone! If it's hot, cold, wet, dry, windy, snowing, of foggy minded - that means Global Warming is near. Algore Akhbar! (PBUH) We need a qualified CPA to help us fill out the IRS 301 (3) C forms so we can launder money, acquire real estate, attract celebrities and try to look legitimate. Send resumes to Rev. L. Space Dogged c/o The People's Cube.
A-Neuter
We will now have the collection for the collective. Just press Pay Pal on the left hand side bar and you'll receive a Carbon Indulgence marked down in the Book of Goremon for all eternity.
In the Name of Marx. Lenin, and Stalin's Ghost
May Algore fleece thee and scare thee
May his Inconvenience frighten thee
Surrender and Impeachment brings thee PeaceA-Neuter
Quote:
We will now have the collection for the collective. Just press Pay Pal on the left hand side bar and you'll receive a Carbon Indulgence marked down in the Book of Goremon for all eternity.Bloomberg News
April 27 (Bloomberg) -- Visitors to the Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Spa won't find the Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer. Instead, on the bureau will be a copy of ``An Inconvenient Truth,'' former Vice President Al Gore's book about global warming.Quote:
Stop hitting me Mees Nancy! Owww!Quote:
Owwwww! No... Noooo! Not Lupe's arm! Not Lupe's arm! <crack> AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!O'Brien
Yes, Laika! Guns are the root of the problem in this country, as many other problemsBranish
... all those who disagree are purged.| Related Articles | Author | Replies | Views | |
Official May Day Address '05 | Laika the Space Dog | 6 | 104611 | |
Official May Day Address 2008 | Laika the Space Dog | 21 | 17178 | |
Official May Day Address 2009 (Featuring Fearless Leader) | Laika the Space Dog | 62 | 44995 | |
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