I have been selflessly orbiting | Gather round Young Pioneers and Little Jihadis and let Aunt Laika tell you a poem. Now in the decadent West, they have a myth about Santa Claus and Reindeer that can fly. We all know that is not true and even if it was true, Santa Claus would be an enemy of the state because he keeps elves as slaves and beats the Reindeer with whips. The ACLU and PETA would have sued him and his fat, jolly butt would be in the slammer. Now in the progressive Islamic Republics, especially Iran, there is The Prophet and Bourak. Bourak is half man and half flying horse and the Prophet flies on his back to the farthest mosque (Jerusalem), heaven and hell, and the houses of misery and happiness. This is done on the night as what is known on the infidel calendar as August 22, and true believers call this the Miraj. |
Now you can see, children, that while Israel's claim to its territory is based on myth and fairy tales of the Old Testament, Islam's claim to the same territory is based on strict historical facts and scientific analysis.
So, now let me tell you about Miraj. You might think it was stolen from another poem, but this is the real one, the other one was stolen.
'Twas the Night Before Miraj
'Twas the night before Miraj, when all through dhimmiland
Not a camel was stirring, nor flea in the sand.
The infidels were hung by the over-pass with care,
In hopes that Twelver soon would be there.
The children were bomb-wired all snug in their beds,
While visions of martyrdom danced in their heads.
And mamma in her burqa, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long summer's nap.
When out on the dirt there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the tent to see what was the matter.
Away with my AK I flew like a rip,
Tore open the gunny and threw in a clip.
With my finger on the trigger, I almost let loose a round
When a flying Bourak then landed on the ground.
Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the Twelver himself, and the Prophet, right here!
With Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, so wily and slick,
I knew in a moment it wasn't a Jew trick.
More rapid than katushas his rockets they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, hijacked a plane!
"Now Hamas! now, Hezbollah! now, Ba'athist and Sunni!
On, Shia! On, PLO! we're all freaking loony!
To the Zionist state! to the Wailing Wall!
Now kill the Jews, kill the Jews, kill the Jews all!"
As palm leaves that before the wild sand storm fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to Aqsa Mosque the coursers they flew,
With a Bourak full of nukes, and the Twelfth Imam too!
And then, in a moment, I heard on the mosque's roof
The prancing and pawing of each giant hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the minaret The Prophet came with a bound.
He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his shoes,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes from Jews.
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a jihadi, just back from Iraq!
His eyes-how they burned! his grimace how scary!
He laughed like a Stooge, the one they call Larry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a gate,
And the beard of his chin was as oily as Kuwait.
The stump of a Jew he held tight in his teeth,
And the blood it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a mean face and was more than smelly,
And Al Jazeera showed his image on everyone's telly!
He had flies like a dump, a right nasty old elf,
And I wept when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know all the Jews were all dead
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And nuked all of Israel, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the minaret he rose!
He sprang to his Bourak, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a nuclear missile.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he flew out of sight,
"Happy Miraj to all, and to all a good-night!"

Quote:
Not a camel was stirringAlva Goldbook
Actually, in Iran Shabe-Yalda is celebrated. The celebration of Yalda, which predates Islam, originated in the Zoroastrian faith. The name of Yalda refers to the rebirth of the sun, a celebration where people gather at home all night to tell stories and eat pomegranates, while bonfires are lit outside. It is celebrated around Christmas.Alva Goldbook
thank you for the warm welcome you nutty Reich wingers. As for the "Karl Marx Treatment Center" can any of you tell me the difference between say Engles and say...Trotsky or say...Buchunin? Or maybe punch a hole in the Labor Theory of Value? I dunno, just tossing out something for you guys to take a nibble at. I would imagine with a name like "the Karl Marx Treatment Center" you'd have some clue what Marx actually wrote.Laika the Space Dog
More Bible fun!Alva Goldbook
Alva Goldbook
"Premier Betty
Quote:
Not a camel was stirringUsers browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed
Channel list
Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
I Own The World
Supercommissar Maksim
It's Big Fur Hat
Blur-Brain
Terry Colon
The Fine Report
The Looking Spoon
Sad Hill News
Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Death By 1000 Papercuts
Zombietime