In still further UN-Presidented moves Comrade Obola has announced emergency stimulus funding for one of the biggest public works projects in history. If he is able to get the Rethuggican(spit) congress to go along, the US Army Corp of engineers will begin erecting signs along the shore strictly forbidding Ebola from coming in the country from the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans. The 10 Trillion dollar project will also boast the economy over the next 10 years in the areas of sign construction, tree removal and sand painting
In a Golf cart press conference at the first tee, President Obola reversed his earlier decisions to import the disease and declared that Ebola is no longer welcome to come into the US over it’s pristine shores and thus will be banned from doing so.
President Barack Barackovich Obola declared that this is a win-win for everybody . “No longer will there be an incoherent protocol on Ebloa, this day we are beginning the process to stand athwart the shore and tell Ebola that it will stop here and go no further”
In his talk with media stenographers before his next fundraiser/campaign stop he stated flat out that just as with the success with banning guns from schools and other locales….. despite all the shootings that take place in said zones… he is sure that giant signs along the coast will halt Ebola in its tracks
*Note ‘from US shores’ this means that will be perfectly free to stroll across the border UN-fettered by RACIST!!!! Travel bans and discriminatory ‘Quarantines’
In a secret private message to Brown campaign about the empty seats, the Hillary campaign apologized about the less then usual crowd, explaining that the bus broke down. They are currently fixing the problem while the rally at College Park, Maryland is going on.
Not to worry, comrades, as the bus is fixed with gum and toothpicks to ride on to the next rally.
Glorious news, Comrades! The People's Ministry of Scientifical Science and Smart Comrades with Really Cool Stuff (sponsored by the good Comrades at JiffyLobo) has found a way inside the thoughts of others, that can soon be used to verify election intents (remember the dangling chad and the dimpled selections that George Bush used to steal his election in Florida? Of course you do...) it can insert current truths and extract just the right confessions, and aid in the indoctrination and re-education of those who need it.
As computer power that required buildings now fits in a shirt pocket, this device will soon fit into a simple tinfoil hat! Keep looking FORWARD to Next Tuesday!
Fun activities with Hillary: the dollar bill trick
Flash a dollar bill in front of TV when Hillary is on. Observe how her gaze becomes fixed on the money and follows it around. If you keep flashing it long enough, drool forms at the corners of her mouth and she begins to stutter. ______ This is a remake of an earlier picture based on an idea from Laika the Space Dog. It was time to bring it back after Hillary's remarks about where money and jobs come from. In her personal experience, honest work has nothing to do with it. Money never trickles down from Hillary; it's all being sucked up and stays there. Occasionally it gets redistributed among the loyal comrades, to each according to their screeds. It's the Party way.
We have new information about milk products. A new study says women's mortality increases when they drink more milk. This War on Women goes into the pastures as milk is now considered toxic to women. That poses a serious problem - at least for those women who want to live a bit longer.
On the other hand, there could be sinister motives involved. Either the cows were distressed by the news of poor prospects for the Democrats in the coming midterms, or they were angered by the attacks on Hillary Clinton, or Rush Limbaugh sneaked in at night to sabotage the people's milk, or the entire research has been payed off by our enemies in the GOP.
We will have the People's Facility open for independent milk processing and get to the bottom of this.
These were not my studies, Commissarka Pinkie, but I will find out who was in charge of this research for you.
State Announces New Stimulus Package: Ebola Treatment
The USSA Ministry of the State, in conjunction with Department of Forced Labor, has announced a new import program designed to stimulate the People’s Economy and provide thousands of new jobs. According to sources at the White Fortress, the USSA will begin importing Ebola patients from Africa for treatment services and possible immigration in the next few months.
This brilliant plan, conceived by the highest proletarian intellectuals serving the workers and peasants of the USSA as advisers to Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama, will lead to the hiring of thousands of new federal workers. Not only will the State use hundreds of medical personnel and unionized healthcare professionals, but thousands of new entry- and mid-level office workers and bureaucrats to administer the various programs that will spring forth from the soil like a newly-planted beet crop!
Only our glorious Democratic Socialist Party can find a way to turn the plague of Ebola into a gift for all American workers and peasants! The disease from foreign shores will soon become another successful Stimulus Package!
In the meantime, The Department of the People’s Defense has acknowledged that People’s Army troops stationed in West Africa, who will likely be forwarding Ebola patients to the USSA, will be quarantined due to their exposure to counter-revolutionary propaganda rather than any disease. The State reminds citizens that Ebola can only be contracted by contact with Republicans and their reactionary body fluids.
Ebola is FDR’s gift to the New America! Ebola treatment will be another successful Stimulus Package!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube, Comrade Nomenklatura-climber Dialectical Progressivism Translator
Self destruct command was sent to rocket before it hit the ground
Why would NASA (primarily responsible for outreach and self esteem for Muslims) investigate the will of Allah in the destruction of an unmanned rocket?
This is a thinly veiled smokescreen! Where is the coverage of the outrage and protest of the violation of rights against our Mooslimic comrades? A cargo container of copies of the Koran intended to enlighten the apostates in the International Space Station explodes and burns, and nobody is covering the riots in the streets?
NASA needs to shift focus away from the deceptions and distractions of engineering failures and culpable negligence, and focus back on the core issues of the Religion of Peace!
Well, take that you teabaggers and rethugiKKKans! The party has found the OFFISHAL (current truth: this is how the word is now to be spelled) birth certificate for Dear Leader. You teabaggers insist he wasn't born in the USSA??! Well, the witness checked a box saying he WAS born in the USSA! So there! This should finally make you teabaggers shut up!! Stop hatin' on Dear Leader and bein' so racist™!
After much difficulty in their high visibility marriage, the Clintons did not sleep together for many years.
There were a string of sordid affairs and women such as Monica Lewinski, Huma Abedin, Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Maria Furtwängler, Belinda Stronach, Markie Post, Naomi Robson, Patricia Duff, Elizabeth Gracen, Sally Purdue, Dolly Kyle Browning and several dozen others - but now, at long last, it appears that just in time for her election, Hillary and Bill Clinton are again sleeping together.
I remember listening to your voice as the lead singer for CREAM. You were awesome and, well, operatic! You guys blew me away with your adventurism and "pull-out-the-stops-writing (Yeah, I knew you all were drugged out of your minds)
I really love Jack Bruce, such a wonderful singer. Really. Almost operatic, but very sincere. I love him and his alliance with Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, et. al.
Comrades, do yourself a favor and listen to what I have posted.