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 Freedom's messy. Clean it up! - Source SourceFreedom's messy. Clean it up!
 on 4/1/2015, 8:02 pm

People's Blog



Freedom's messy. Clean it up!


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Religious freedom. Private property rights. Freedom of association. Free speech. It's tough to clean all that dirt. Have you heard about Indiana and Arkansas lately? Freedom's messy! How's anybody supposed to live in all that messy freedom?


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Clean it up! Society needs a good scrubbing. You deserve to be able to force everybody else to do what you want. Now with new improved Prog-O-Sol just spray and wipe out all resistance. Let's make a new clean society.


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Freedom's messy. Clean it up!


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Statistics : 4 Replies || 335 Views
Post by Margaret
 Moochelle's Menu Finally Finds Favor - Source SourceMoochelle's Menu Finally Finds Favor
 on 4/1/2015, 4:36 pm

People's Blog



Moochelle's Menu Finally Finds Favor

The Unified School District of Rio Rancho, New Mexico has finally found a solution for the tons of food that students refuse to eat. They have teamed up with local farmers to ship the uneaten tray scrapings to rural areas for recycling as livestock feed. It is estimated that American students throw away $3.5 million worth of food each school day. Earlier this year, a New York district estimated its students throw away 85% of their fruits and vegetables.


One local Farmer said of the program:
"The goats prefer romaine lettuce, some pigs like grapes while others will eat 'anything'. The chickens like the dinner rolls."

A school lunch worker admitted:
“If we cut up 20 pounds of cucumbers, we guess that 17 pounds get thrown away. I’ve watched kids take their cup of vegetables or fruit they’re required to take and just throw it away.”

This is just the sort of sustainable nutrition program that only The People's Dear Lady and Mother is capable of imagining or implementing. It is just the way it should be too, putting The Children first, followed by our furry friends. Notice that bovine (who contribute to Global Warming through flatulence) are not part of the program. This is the sort of feel-good tale that makes it feel as if Next Tuesday will be here much sooner than previously imagined. As an added bonus, Moochelle's Nutrition by Force program will prove exceedingly difficult to repeal, should bloodthirsty conservatives ever attempt to do so, as this would be considered a 'War on the Cute & Cuddly'.

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Statistics : 3 Replies || 453 Views
Post by Konservative_Punk
 The People's Cube is 10 years old - Source SourceThe People's Cube is 10 years old
 on 4/1/2015, 1:48 pm

People's Blog



The People's Cube is 10 years old

<img src="/images/Cube_10_Years_Old.jpg" alt="The People's Cube is 10 years old" width="600" height="330" /><p>On this day, 1 April 2015, the People's Cube is celebrating ten glorious years of unstoppable revolutions. Jubilant masses of correctly educated workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia are coming together in towns and villages around the world, carrying People's Cube posters, peacefully hurling red cubes at the capitalist classes, and spontaneously chanting Party-approved slogans: </p><ul class="gen"> <li><img src="/images/Poster_MayDay_Need_Propaganda.jpg" alt="People's Cube" width="320" height="215" class="img_right_10" /><em><strong>Long live the Glorious World of Next Tuesday! Hurrah! </strong></em></li> <li><strong><em> Cheers for our beloved comrade Red Square, People's Director! </em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>We need more visual agitation and propaganda to tell us what to think! </em></strong></li> <li><strong><em> There is no truth but the Current Truth </em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>We demand equality of results!</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Ten years equals three Five-Year Plans completed ahead of schedule!</em></strong><em></em></li></ul><p>Ten years ago, when our Party Organ ascended over the digital horizon like the red sun of the media revolution, Comrade Red Square delivered his famous ten-hour speech, titled &quot;Gulagosphere for the Masses.&quot; In part, he stated that the American Motherland was lagging a hundred years behind the Soviet Motherland in redistribution of wealth, collectivization, re-education, socialized healthcare, government dependency, and media compliance. Our most urgent task was to jam an entire century of missed progress into only ten years, so that we would have a chance to see the Glorious World of Next Tuesday in our time. </p><p>The people and the Party responded to such burning words with massive enthusiasm, closing the gap ahead of schedule and surpassing other nations in our collective march towards the Glorious Next Tuesday. At least that's where we are now according to the compliant media, and that's all that matters. </p><p><img src="/images/Cube_10_Years_Crowd_Worship.jpg" alt="People's Cube worship" width="600" height="403" /></p><p>In response to hostile criticism ...

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Statistics : 25 Replies || 1012 Views
Post by Red Square
 H&amp;L's World of Next Tuesday - Source SourceH&amp;L's World of Next Tuesday
 on 4/1/2015, 12:56 pm

People's Blog



H&L's World of Next Tuesday

For this day, we must look back to look towards the future. Of all the things we said that will happen in the World of Next Tuesday shall happen. Our days of living under capitalist oppression will soon be over. We are focusing on military plans, advanced technology, and more government control care.

In the world of Next Tuesday, Robots will need pets, cars will drive themselves (here for Captain Craptek's article), Dear Leader will celebrate his 10th anniversary in his palace, and we will finish the People's Plot ™ , the Gulag Apprentice ™, the food delivery to Laika, etc. I apologize comrades for forgetting some of your inputs of the World of Next Tuesday.

Join us in celebration of our party's anniversary as we think of Next Tuesday.

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Statistics : 3 Replies || 546 Views
Post by Hammer and Loupe
 International Talk Like A Prog Day is upon us! - Source SourceInternational Talk Like A Prog Day is upon us!
 on 3/31/2015, 4:38 pm

People's Blog



International Talk Like A Prog Day is upon us!



As you may well know today (April 1st) is to be the 1st annual INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PROG DAY!
Where we all talk the talk of the people’s revolution and the defeat of Liberty and achievement of equality!
(Well, not equality for those enemies of the people like religious conservatives, they don’t deserve equality)

The basics:
Of course you address everyone by the Salutation/Appellation: Comrade


Attitude: When talking like a Prog you must display the arrogance of absolutely knowing that you are right and that anyone who opposes you is wrong, low life filth and insane.


And be sure to sprinkle your vocabulary with words like ‘Equality’ and ‘Fairness’

Just don’t get bogged down in defining these words – this will be the death knell of your argument.
Just keep in touch with your Feelings instead of thoughts and you'll do fine - feelings trump facts and logic every-time in proggiedom.

Remember, being offended automatically grants you extra rights and privileges such as the right to shout down anyone who offends you.

Some other key phrases to keep in mind:

Enemies of the people
The people’s revolution
You didn’t build that!

Spread the wealth
Addressing wealth inequality

I want to be fully accountable to the people whose consent I have to govern… whoops how did that get in there?…

Anyway, it is time for #IntTalkLikeAProgDay

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Statistics : 2 Post || 1685 Views
Post by Comrade Šterpin
 Iran gets more nuclear bombs from USSA - Source SourceIran gets more nuclear bombs from USSA
 on 3/31/2015, 3:00 pm

People's Blog



Iran gets more nuclear bombs from USSA



Iran, Iran so far away, but now close to a deal. Dear Leader's Number Two guy is working hard to get the bombs to Iran. No! Not Uncle Joe, Ketchup Kerry and his team of condiments are at it again to bring more equality and peace in the Mideast. Many years after Iraq Mission Accomplished, Dear Leader and Ketchup Kerry are almost at a close with nuclear bomb peace talks.

Dr. Strangelove would be greatly impressed at their stop worrying and love the bomb routine. The romantic 'negotiations' in the foot hills of the Swiss Alps. The passion from the crews on both USSA and Iranian sides can be flaming at times. They plan to come back in June to enjoy the summer. There will be more meetings for the completion of the four seasons.

Don't worry comrades, they will bring back Swiss Chocolate and Swiss cheese.

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Statistics : 4 Replies || 1727 Views
Post by Hammer and Loupe
 Germanwings Crash Blamed on FoxNews &amp; Capitalism - Source SourceGermanwings Crash Blamed on FoxNews &amp; Capitalism
 on 3/31/2015, 2:59 pm

People's Blog



Germanwings Crash Blamed on FoxNews & Capitalism


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Influential funny-man and proponent of communism Russell Brand has revealed the root cause of the Germanwings crash in the French Alps last week:

“The reality is lived in a system that causes individuals to malfunction, because we have a lack of cohesion, a lack of connection and a lack of truth... We can never have that conversation properly because FOX News and big corporations benefit from things being the way they are.”

Comrade Brand also said:

“The reason Fox News can’t be honest about what causes mental illness is that Fox News IS what causes mental illness. Fox News are the propaganda machine of capitalism – a system that separates us from one another and tells us the way to solve our individual problems is through purchasing, through buying things, through identifying primarily through our roles as consumers, not as active citizens or participants in society, members in communities that should care about others, but people who shouldn’t be condemning those who are weaker, vilifying people that act in any way that’s unusual."


It is not clear whether the mentally ill German pilot ever watched FoxNews, but we can be reasonably sure that he would have if he could have.

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Statistics : 12 Replies || 3208 Views
Post by Konservative_Punk
 This is how most People's Cube associates got their jobs - Source SourceThis is how most People's Cube associates got their jobs
 on 3/31/2015, 2:29 pm

People's Blog



This is how most People's Cube associates got their jobs

Many comrades have asked how to join the People's Cube inner circle and obtain a lucrative position of the People's Commissar. Finally, there is a training video that answers all those questions in one short minute. Rest assured that your Cubist superiors have done all of the described things and more. One qualifies simply by virtue of being capable of it.

<div id="fb-root"></div><script>(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s); if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script><div class="fb-video" data-allowfullscreen="true" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153278856919497&amp;set=vb.20950654496&amp;type=1"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153278856919497&amp;set=vb.20950654496&amp;type=1"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153278856919497&amp;set=vb.20950654496&amp;type=1"></a><p>The Onion&#039;s Tips For Nailing A Job Interview</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153278856919497&amp;set=vb.20950654496&amp;type=1">The Onion</a> on Monday, March 30, 2015</blockquote></div></div>

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Statistics : 9 Replies || 1300 Views
Post by Red Square
 Why I'm halting my business expansion in Indiana - Source SourceWhy I'm halting my business expansion in Indiana
 on 3/31/2015, 2:06 pm

People's Blog



Why I'm halting my business expansion in Indiana


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Comrades,

I own a small business that has never made a profit. It is with deep regret that as a result of the new license to discriminate in Indiana, I have shelved my plans to expand into that state. I will be issuing press releases soon and expect it to be covered all over the People's Media because I cannot afford traditional advertising.

I was probably going to hire thousands of new workers in Indiana for my business and have a huge construction project. I would even be hiring all sorts of gay interior designers for the cubicle farm to be located next to the surplus server farm that I picked up on the cheap at a good will store in Chappaqua, NY. I would have increased the tax base for Indianapolis.

But all is lost. Indiana now allows discrimination so I will have to end my plans.

I will instead locate in California. It is vastly more expensive, but they fine people for discrimination and this is more important than the cost to do business or real estate.

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Statistics : 7 Replies || 1558 Views
Post by Comrade Vlad Linen
 Saint Cuomo: Jesus said Sodomy = True Love - Source SourceSaint Cuomo: Jesus said Sodomy = True Love
 on 3/31/2015, 1:05 pm

People's Blog



Saint Cuomo: Jesus said Sodomy = True Love


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This morning on CNN's New Day, show host and communist comrade Chris Cuomo channelled the God and Prophet of the Christian Religion with a new message from the Deity, saying of the Religious Freedom Protection Law signed by Indiana Governor Mike Pence: “Jesus' message to you was ‘Love until it hurts and keep loving.’ That’s not what is. It’s exclusion.”

Speaking for the Savior of the World, Comrade Cuomo reversed two-thousand years of church doctrine based on biblical scriptures prohibiting homosexuality among followers of the faith. The Pope could not be reached for comment on whether this latest revelation by the Prophet Cuomo (who is himself a self-described Catholic) will be accepted by the church as divinely inspired, but if so, our dear comrade may soon be known to us as Saint Cuomo.

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Statistics : 5 Replies || 1112 Views
Post by Konservative_Punk

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