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2008 Democratic National Convention in Denver

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<b>Schedule of Events</b><br><br><br>
7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING<br>
7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.<br>
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton<br>
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING -
DARRYL HANNAH<br>
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore<br>
8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell<br>
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry<br>
9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon<br>
10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin<br>
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand<br>
11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn<br>
11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton<br>
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean<br>
12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore<br>
12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad<br>
12:45 am NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA - Nancy Pelosi<br>
1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
1:05 am CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA<br>
1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST<br>
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home<br>
1:40 am Nancy Pelosi finds her way out of the ladies' room
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Commissar Theocritus wrote:<center>
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home<br>
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Image HA!

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It's sad, but glorious Party made one oversight for the glorious event of His glorious coronation. The convention should have been held in a coastal city like LA or NY; that way, the faithful could go down to the beach and watch the ocean levels start to recede as soon as the Messiah was anointed. But, I guess all will have to settle for watching sick people start to show signs of health at the magic moment instead!


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Commissar Theocritus wrote:<center>
1:40 am Nancy Pelosi finds her way out of the ladies' room
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Until I saw this one, I thought you got a copy of the real schedule.

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5:45 AM. Teddy Kennedy, waking from a drunken stupor, calls his lawyer, his priest and then, one hour later, the police. Who find a beached whale and arrest picketing Greenpeace members.

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Excellent report, Commissar. But tell me, why is Comrade Laika not liveblogging the event? With her instantaneous elecro-telepathic communications ability, we could all receive simulcast via our tinfoil hats.

My hat today received no clear signals from the collective...just the usual stray signals from a rogue satellite broadcasting old Bohemian snuff movies. Most distracting.

Please wake me up when they get to the hope and change part...

UPDATE:

Blogging of the convention will apparently be performed by Zampolit Dogstovesky, Wonder Dog of the Modern Age:

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It is my understanding the wise and beneficient Marshal Pupovich hired his nephew to cover the convention. Let's hear it for Zampolit Dogstovesky, who will bring us the latest news - doggy style!

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General, it comes just after the "Yadayadayada" and just before the " and yadayadayada."

If you hear, "We are the ones we have been waiting for!" then you've come too late. Because they just have.

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That's not as interesting as having the news covered by missionaries, is it?

<i>Love</i> the bracelets. And that tin-foil hat. Are the bracelets the equivalent of Dick Tracy's two-way wrist radio?

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Alas, I was in the kitchen opening a Tsing Tao when he made his first report...

Unfortunately, I also missed the moving tribute to Comrade Kennedy - the visionary who bravely blazed a trail of drunken cowardice before it became popular in the Democratic party. He is a true visionary, there will never be another quite like him.

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Commissar, the bracelets are not transmitters, but energy sinks made of depleted plutonium. They absorb any Rove Mind Ray emissions in the immediate vicinty, that could otherwise compromise our secure communications.

The transmitter is in the hat...subminiature electronics, the best that factory 51 has yet produced (although they also made the Tickle Me Fidel toy that was so popular a few years ago).

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You know of course that Comrade Che could not use that hat--it would muss his carefully mussed hair.

And that transmitter. What version of Windows is that? We can only hope that it is more stable than most.

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It is indeed...it is the 'Gulag Vista' version, with the labor-themed screensaver. This is the software that ties all other software together and bends it to the will of the collective, sort of like the One Ring in that silly trilogy with midgets or hamsters or whatever...

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I remember what you mean. The hamsters go toward a tower and this <i>thing</i> flies over the sun and they run and hide in a ditch and they get back up and sing a little song and march on their hairy feet and the <i>thing</i> flies over the sun and they get back into the ditch and so it goes. And goes. And goes. And goes.

But all will be changed when the Ring Wraith, who looks much like the Obamessiah in a shroud when you think of it, comes and snatches them off.

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Commie Cat wrote

Excellent report, Commissar. But tell me, why is Comrade Laika not liveblogging the event?

Off character...

OK, I tried, I really tried...I thought "Prime Time" meant 8PM, so low (and I mean low) and behold all I could find channel surfing was PBS and C-Span for the DNC. I tuned in as a faithful party comrade should .....and what was on, you may ask? Senator Sherrod Brown, Dunce-Ohio, holding a panel discussion about the plight of our public schools with some ass-hat jumbo wonk named Schnur who passionately described Obama as being "brave, very brave for having the courage to go into these classrooms, with the teachers and The Children™ and seeing the desperate situation our schools are facing today in this current educational crisis. I am here to tell you Obama has a bold new initiative for America's schools...."
At this point my eyes started to glaze over and I felt a general lack of oxygen as the atmosphere of rational thought was being sucked through this black hole that was my flat screen TV. I quickly changed the channel to TCM and put on "Notorious" before they had the chance to say "Obama will increase the public funding that is so extremely important for our nation's children and future".

One can only stand so much.
Waterboarding? Hell no....The DNC.
I broke down after 5 minutes of that torture.
"Make it stop, please, make it stop, I'll tell you who McCain's VP pick is, but please make it stop....sob....sob...the horror, oh, the pain...."
Bush should have that piped into Gitmo.

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The convention is going very well. B_O performed the miracle of uniting St. Louis with Kansas City and flatly admitted, "Michelle, you were, uh, you were unbelievable." I am sure that will not stop her from being a member of the Royal Family though. The party-issued recyclable Michelle signs were a nice touch.

http://www.news-leader.com/apps/pbcs.dl ... 9/80825054

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No doubt the Obamessiah is confused in the rubber-chicken circuit. Or the boxed chablis and Kraft brie circuit.

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boxed chablis
That's known as Cardboardeaux where I come from.

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Red Bubba, we must share the Obamiracle via YouTube.

At least he knew he was in Kansas, the 53rd State.

Correct me if I'm wrong Comrades, but have we gone from the MTE to the NTE? And I do mean NTE. None, Nada, No. Nothin'....Not even a mouthfull.
Somebody call the BNB squad from Code Pink, stat....we need a doner.

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I love the political performance artistry. After having the two O's shout sweet nothings in my ear, I am looking forward to the grating melodic voice of HRC and her dire warnings of the global disaster that would be Bush/Halliburtons's third term exposition of how the progressive agenda will finally get big oil drug companies right-wing conspriators, and other reactionary profit-makers off the back of us regular folks here at the biodegradeable green (red) soy ink plant. I do hope she uses her affectation of a prole accent, or maybe even sheds a tear. Where will B_O be watching from tonight, a shepherd's shack in the mountains of Idaho/Indiana?

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:Commie Cat wrote

Excellent report, Commissar. But tell me, why is Comrade Laika not liveblogging the event?

Off character...

OK, I tried, I really tried...I thought "Prime Time" meant 8PM, so low (and I mean low) and behold all I could find channel surfing was PBS and C-Span for the DNC. I tuned in as a faithful party comrade should .....and what was on, you may ask? Senator Sherrod Brown, Dunce-Ohio, holding a panel discussion about the plight of our public schools with some ass-hat jumbo wonk named Schnur who passionately described Obama as being "brave, very brave for having the courage to go into these classrooms, with the teachers and The Children™ and seeing the desperate situation our schools are facing today in this current educational crisis. I am here to tell you Obama has a bold new initiative for America's schools...."
At this point my eyes started to glaze over and I felt a general lack of oxygen as the atmosphere of rational thought was being sucked through this black hole that was my flat screen TV. I quickly changed the channel to TCM and put on "Notorious" before they had the chance to say "Obama will increase the public funding that is so extremely important for our nation's children and future".

One can only stand so much.
Waterboarding? Hell no....The DNC.
I broke down after 5 minutes of that torture.
"Make it stop, please, make it stop, I'll tell you who McCain's VP pick is, but please make it stop....sob....sob...the horror, oh, the pain...."
Bush should have that piped into Gitmo.

OMM (Oh My Mao!)

Laika, just between us quadripeds, cats aren't known for their sensitivity or emotional intelligence. However, even I cannot remain unmoved with empathy for your Abu Ghraib experience. Remember the immortal words of the dead white guy Friedrich Nietsche - "That which does not kill you really pisses you off!"

Clearly you need counter-jamming electronic countermeasures to defeat the Rovian Mind Ray that no doubt zapped you at the Convention. If only Premier Betty were here, he would know what computer game simulation would overcome this evil!

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Comrades, I am here to clarify a most distressing fact. As you have probably heard by now, a couple of loser meth heads were arrested for a possible Plot to Assassinate Obama. This in itself is distressing (and why I now own a gun as well). However, the news also reported that:

"The men may have ties to Sons of Silence, an outlaw biker group, and are believed to have connections with white supremacists. Federal sources said this incident may have had more to do with methamphetamine than with any plot to assassinate Obama, but local police did not say why they connected the men to the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee."

As some of you know, this is the group that my best friend is national vice president, and the group that I camped with for 3 trips to Sturgis, so needless to say, these guys mean a lot to me even though I know few of them these days, but also enough that I was on the phone early this morning. Now I had no doubt at all that these clowns in the picture were not clubbers. They practically have Loser tattooed on their head, and I immediately figured it was either hysterics from the local cops who hate the Sons and have been persecuting them in Colorado for many years, the ramblings of some loser meth heads, or most likely a combination of the two. My friend assured me these clowns were not related in any way. But we should all be outraged! Yes! For how progressive can you get? These guys have been known as "outlaws" for years! Fighting the Bushitler machine!

Now there was one perhaps interesting thing that did disturb me.... for I know my friend and his lady are Hillary supporters..... Hmmmmm

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There is indeed a disconcerting, troubling air tonight...bad moon on the rise?

The panic in Denver is barely concealed...

Our beloved MTE giving her farewell speech...

The Annointed One and his Messenger reveling in their incredible lightness of being...

Is it just me, or does it look like the wheels are coming off the turnip cart here?

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I got a message from Laika (e-mail) a long time ago about how the convention was scheduled. However, I didn't know Nancy didn't find her way out of the bathroom until the end.

(Karakter off)
These new events are funny. I like how many times Teddy proposes a toast, that always cracks me up a bit.

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Afraid that I am unable to watch it. My wife complaining about the spit on the TV screen makes it impossible to hear anything. But maybe there is a positive side to my loss.....

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<off>Folks, there is a definite air of <i>fin de siècle</i> here. The moonbats are delirious with their own circle-jerk self-congratulation. Not a single serious thing has been proposed. Notice that even the tried-and-untrue socialist dogma doesn't have the zing that it often has. We're not having the old class-warfare that I'm used to, which is a sign of taking sides and juvenility.

I do hope that these people continue to gloat and strut and preen so that people look at their cheap, disdainful triumphalism and raise a lip.

By the way, that list is not my creation, or not all of it. I stole it from something that came on the web.

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Good Commissar, you stole nothing...you are merely appropriating GroupThinkTM for broad consumption. If we strive to eliminate the individual - some more than others, if you know what I mean - than there is no individual thought. All thought is the property of the people.

I wept a tear when our MTE bleated her last on the altar of expediency, to the smiles of The Exalted One's spousal unit. One can only hope, when she returns to her refuge, that she will gain strength, nursing her enmity on the teat of malice, until she is ready to rise up and conquer. In her smoldering rage, she may even devour her mate like so many other fearsome she-beasts. Mao help the dead meat that dares run against her in 2012!

Perhaps that post was not prudent, not that I care.
My Tsing Tao is gone, bottles surround my chair.
A Lightworker and a lightweight with plugs of hair...
a campaign confused and beyond repair.
Yes WE CAN! Hope and Change! Au contraire...

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Commie Cat wrote:A Lightworker and a lightweight with plugs of hair...
But with huge honking egos which I expect to clash like T. Rexes in a Jurrasic forrest over a parking spot.

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Does anyone really see the Empress having a shot again? I for one do not, under any scenario,

Commissar Theocritus.... again you have forced me to enlighten myself with your un-American therefore progressive foreign sayings.

"The expression fin de siècle generally refers to the years 1880 to 1914 in Europe. It has connotations of decadence, which are seen as typical for the last years of a culturally vibrant period (La Belle Époque at the turn of the 20th century), and of anticipative excitement about, or despair facing, impending change, or both, that is generally expected when a century or time period draws to a close. "

Yes! Decadence! How Progressive!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:By the way, that list is not my creation, or not all of it. I stole it from something that came on the web.

Yes, I instantly recognized it as something my father mindlessly forwards to my e-mail every so often (there's also a Republican version). I commend you for the conscientious copying-and-pasting, Theocritus, but why do you say you 'stole' it? Once it is said/written, it belongs to The People!

Now, if you'd said it was your own creation, then you'd be in deep doo-doo: For you'd be guilty of having original thoughts and original ideas, and as you know, there's no call for that around here.

The Obamessiah picked Simon Joe Peter Biden as his first apostle for a reason! He is a fisherperson of other people's words. If none of us can be as perfect and good as the Obamessiah, then at least we can try to be like the Apostle Joe, and turn away from all original thinking.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:Does anyone really see the Empress having a shot again? I for one do not, under any scenario,

HRC supporter Berg does.
Berg v. Barack Hussein Obama aka Barry Soetoro et al. could get interesting. I wonder who appointed the Federal Judges in that District. Long live Party Unity, purges, togetherness, backstabbing.

http://www.obamacrimes.com/attachments/ ... plaint.pdf

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Yes, Pinkie, I think that you are right. For all thought by definition comes out the ass of Karl Marx. Until all thought came out the ass of Karl Marx there was no gravity or light or reason or food--or anything. Personkind, sorry Meow, and Appliancekind, lived, if that's what it was, in a state of perpetual darkness, pre-Marx.

So we can say that Joe Bin Biden is a direct link, by Apostolic Succession to the things that came out of Karl Marx's ass.

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You forgot this one...

1:20 AM. Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Vladimir Putin, via live feeds, endorse Barack Obama and welcome him into the community of socialist leaders.

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That is an interesting legal document you post Comrade Red Bubba..... a document that would inspire ThoughtCrime™ in a mind not as disciplined as mine. Are you trying to lead others into ThoughtCrime™ Comrade Red Bubba?

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Premier Brezhnev wrote:You forgot this one...

1:20 AM. Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Vladimir Putin, via live feeds, endorse Barack Obama and welcome him into the community of socialist leaders.

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! It truly is the DNCC (Democratic National Communist Convention)!

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And on the election of the Obamessiah there will be a party in which they burn the Constitution.

In fact instead of merely in spirit.

This schedule has been circulating through emails for a few years... but it's still poignant. How did this schedule get leaked years ago? I've seen it in my email box countless times. I demand that the Speaker of State open an investigation and uncover how Bushitler made it public!

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Branish,

The most glorious Obama has been prophesied for many years prior to His arrival. Obviously the most Holy schedule of events have foretold this.

Don't forget what He said ... "We're the ones we've been waiting for."

Even His most merciful Obama answers capitalist pigs' prayers. The most merciful Obama answered Rush Limbaughs' prayer about Joe Biden. The capitalist pig Limbaugh was praying on Wednesday, August 20th, about the most merciful Obama picking Joe Biden.

His prayer was answered a mere 2 days later.

Praise be to Obama, the Most Merciful.

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Personally I thought it was a working draft by David Geffen.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:And on the election of the Obamessiah there will be a party in which they burn the Constitution.

In fact instead of merely in spirit.

With a replacement of the Charter of the U.N. and joining into the EU.

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Yes, and our taxes will be paid directly to Brussels for them to increase their efficiency in blaming the US for all that's wrong in the world and taking all the money in the US to fix it.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, and our taxes will be paid directly to Brussels for them to increase their efficiency in blaming the US for all that's wrong in the world and taking all the money in the US to fix it.
Would than the Motherland Russia return to a communist state since we would become one?

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All should be communist save for one or two small ones with banks. You know, for buying the Gulfstreams. Which will be made by Tupelev.


 
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