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ACC Quakes Rock Coasts As Kerry Denounces Capitalism

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Seismic activity caused by Anthropogenic Climate Change rocked Kalifornia and the reactionary Tea Bagger zones of Georgia and South Carolina as People's Secretary Kerry denounced Capitalist Climatological Warmongering in Inonesia. The Tea-Baggers were still digging out from the DHMO attacks when the tremors hit.

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Comrade Kerry stated that climate change is perhaps the world's "most fearsome" destructive weapon and mocked those who deny its existence or question its causes, comparing them to people who insist the Earth is flat. ~

"We simply don't have time to let a few loud interest groups hijack the climate conversation," he said, referring to what he called "big companies" that "don't want to change and spend a lot of money" to act to reduce the risks.

Kerry later singled out major oil and coal concerns as the primary offenders."We should not allow a tiny minority of shoddy scientists and science and extreme ideologues to compete with scientific facts," Kerry told the audience at a U.S. Embassy-run American Center in a shopping mall.

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What we need, Comrades, is to use ideologically driven shoddy science to confiscate and redistribute wealth create a cleaner world for our children.

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Comrade Kerry gets around. Here is our glorious Secretary of State at APEC explaining how he's personally confirmed all known UN predictions of global climate change with his Hasbro Real Scientist's Weather Forecaster Kit.

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Bravo for Comrade Ketchup (which, of course, is our Favorite Color).

Comrade Lysenko, whose name I took upon my ordination appointment at the Institute, had a way of dealing with Hooligans whose data did not fit the Official Science of the State: they were taken out and shot, or sent to the Gulag. I eagerly await the day that Dear Leader (PBUH) gives me the GREEN light to do the same with the Rethuglikkkan Flat-Earthers who oppose our PROGress toward the Glorious World of Next Tuesday when all temperatures will be equal.

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I do wonder if while in Indonesia, the Sekretary of Stazi is being served dog at any state dinners?

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Not only is capitalism and imperialism responsible for the ACC that resulted in superstorm Sandy, but this evil has created the diabolical weapon of mass destruction -carbon emissions. The military of the USSA is the largest single consuming entity of petroleum fuels and we know how Mr. Kerry feels about the military. Green socialism is the new red.

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Comrade Craptech,

I am naturally dismayed with your posting as you have not indicated a price for the glorious scientific product from Hasbro. Have you forgotten the matter of carbon credits to be to be offset which would allow purchasers of this product to obtain in order to offset the manufacture of this noble product.
Comrade, we all know that as a follower of the “Blessings of Goracle”, Comrade Kerry's carbon footprint has become much smaller than yours or mine. Since his dedication to climate change and as the spokesperson for this product, he has been given special “ Eco Credits “ which allows him a more lavish jet setting lifestyle that only a true progressive richly deserves. In fact, I am quite sure that the more environmentally conscious you become with the Hasbro product the more “Eco Credits” you are allowed to purchase. After all, once you have gathered enough credits you will be allowed to heat your food and home in the not too distant future and voting Democrat is also a plus.

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trashmouth wrote:Comrade Craptech,

I am naturally dismayed with your posting as you have not indicated a price for the glorious scientific product from Hasbro. Have you forgotten the matter of carbon credits to be to be offset which would allow purchasers of this product to obtain in order to offset the manufacture of this noble product.
Comrade, we all know that as a follower of the “Blessings of Goracle”, Comrade Kerry's carbon footprint has become much smaller than yours or mine. Since his dedication to climate change and as the spokesperson for this product, he has been given special “ Eco Credits “ which allows him a more lavish jet setting lifestyle that only a true progressive richly deserves. In fact, I am quite sure that the more environmentally conscious you become with the Hasbro product the more “Eco Credits” you are allowed to purchase. After all, once you have gathered enough credits you will be allowed to heat your food and home in the not too distant future and voting Democrat is also a plus.

Dismayed Comrade,

The Hasbro product is provided free when applicants sign up for their EBT card, O-Phone, green card, absentee ballot, and driver's license at the Motor Vehicle Department during voter registration. Production costs of the Real Scientist's Weather Forecaster Kit are estimated at $0 by virtue of budget offsets voluntarily offered by The Pentagon.

And finally, to insure total compliance with UN climate predictions, the weather readout Comrade Kerry holds in his hand is linked directly to the NSA who supervise all downloaded forecasts.

Rest easy, comrade. We are in safe hands.

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We Must organize to Stop the Climate From Changing

It appears Comrade Obama has decided to initiate a volcanic eruption in Indonesia, adding more credence to Comrade Kerry's fairy tales scientific facts regarding greenhouse gases. This minor demonstration, teaches us how important it is, to shut down all fossil fuel consumption (except for the more equal elites) right now. If we continue down our self destructive path, the climate may continue to change every second of every day until the end of time. I don't know about you, but I and 99.99% of all progressive scientists, see this (anti-constant climate) as the real danger to the planet.


Forget about the undeveloped theory that the planet revolves around a huge ball of flame causing climate to fluctuate, it makes no difference. Since Comrade Kerry's math is not to be disputed, the most destructive of all change is on its way... Nano-Second-Climate-Change, and it is all our fault. The Obama induced volcanic eruption, after a matter of seconds, far exceeds the entire greenhouse gas output of every factory, every human, every automobile, since the beginning of the industrial revolution, proof that we must resort to immediate drastic measures or face daily second-by-second climate change FOREVER.


I nominate Captain Craptek to head up the new State Department branch which shall be called Organizing for Constant Climate or OCC. He did such a wonderful job with the pixel allocation carbon footprint allotment, this seems like a cake walk for him. All we need is someone to second that and it will be official. We need a good progressive squirrel in charge of this new trillion dollar a year department. Please accept the nomination Captain. If you need any soldiers, just let me know, I'll be right behind you, every step of the way.



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The economy is getting colder because the climate is getting warmer, or are we getting burned by the prolonged Summer of Recovery and need more unemployment to cool it down? I should probably go use some vodka rations to unconfuse myself.

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I think John should show his disdain for Capitalism by throwing his wife's Heinz stock over the White House fence.

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Indeed, Comrade People's Comrade (and good to see you) - and I would recommend a Twitter post with the hashtag #FreeHeinzStockAtWhiteHouse when he does!

It is, after all, for the people.

I also recommend the stocks being tossed as individual shares.


 
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