COMRADES!

ON THIS DAY, LET US REJOICE, FOR OUR PROPHET AND MESSENGER, ALGORE (GWBUH!) (and the intergovernmental panel on climate change) HAS BRUNG UNTO THE CAUSE, AND THE PEOPLE'S CUBE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE!!!!

Our Prophet and Messenger, ALGORE (GWBUH!), has finally received the broad recognition that both HE and The Church of Reformed Latter-Day Climatologists(Also known as the Goremons) so rightly deserve!

Blessed Be The Stone of Temperature Telling!

Blessed Be The Magikal Global Warming Jelly that maintains The Tipper's Do!

Blessed Be The Interweb over which He Strived so Mightily in the desert lo so many years, to give his Constituents, though they believed not!

Reverend L. Space Dogged ... Please lead us in a Pledge of Supplication to The Prophet and Messenger, ALGORE (GWBUH!)

<s>Praise be to the Prophet Goremon on this most blessed day of Peace! Algore Akbar!</s>

Ah, today has had much to rejoice SOM! Not only is it Friday, but to hear the wonderful news that the Prophet Goremon bitchslapped that pretender Tush Limbaugh<s> in his cynical quest to steal the People's Peace Prize from the Gormon, </s>will surely bring much peace and joy to the billions who have barely managed to survive the Global Warming brought on to us by The Bushitler!<s> Algore Akbar!</s> Heil Hillary!

*Pay no attention to any redacted comments that were never there or ever uttered by the Pup*

Grrrrrrrrrrr........
Howl.......
Arrrggggh.......
<sniff sniff, drool>
Please help me....chain ME up. Lock me in the dungeon.....the transformation is happening....
<snarl, gnash, gnash>
Owwwww Ohhhhhhh!

I want the Goremon Temples closed!
Kill the priests!

Hillary wrote:Grrrrrrrrrrr........
Howl.......
Arrrggggh.......
<sniff sniff, drool>
Please help me....chain ME up. Lock me in the dungeon.....the transformation is happening....
<snarl, gnash, gnash>
Owwwww Ohhhhhhh!

I want the Goremon Temples closed!
Kill the priests!

Your Supreme Highness,

I don't know if you are aware, but ALGORE, immediately upon being told of his win, dedicated it - The Peace Prize, the PRIZE MONEY, and all his work (that he has ever done, is doing or will do) and accruing funds related to it, Global Warming, the Interweb, and any Profits (from ANYTHING, including trading of ANY kind - "would it, could it, "inside" a House"), Donations (for ANYTHING and from ANYONE or THING... or for that matter, ANYONE AS A DONATION - "you might like a little taste, IT really shouldn't go to waste" <Ohhhhhh Tiiiiiipppppeeeer!... Here, Your Magnificence... let me just get that little spittle spot with a napkin... there), $oft Ca$h he has lying around (Oh for gawdsakes Meow... would you stop whimpering! I'm saving ALL our necks!).... Anything, really, that will keep you from killing and eating him and the rest of us, and not necessarily in that order...

He also wishes it known that everything he does, has ever done and will ever do, he has done for you, in your name and to your Greater Greatness, and not for that whore, Tipper, who he believes lives only to vex him by creating lust in Jimmy Carter's spleen.

Heil Empress Hillary!!!!
Bringer of all that is good and right and... good...
Sovereign Ruler of the Multiverse and
Controller of The Thermostat

Ps… ALGORE wishes it known that he believes The Nancy has absconded with your Mitre.

Great Stalin's Ghost! Whatever came over me? I was totally in error for not having first considered how Her Empress would feel about the Rev. Goremon having all this "glory" heaped upon him when all glory should be given to Her Highness.

Forgive me Your Highness, I was completely out of line.

I RENOUNCE THE GOREMON and ALL OF HIS PRIESTS AND KOOL AID DRINKERS!

Heil Hillary! The True Empress of the World!
Heil Hillary! Her vastness is the true source of Global Warming
Heil Hillary! All Glory and Wealth is Hers

EVERYONE HOLD ABSOLUTELY STILL! DO NOT MOVE! NOW SLOWLY EMPTY YOUR POCKETS OF ANY VALUABLES - RIGHT DOWN TO PENNIES - AND KEEP STANDING STILL! HER EXCELLENCY IS OBVIOUSLY SNIFFING OUT MONEY... HOLD STILL PUPOVICH! HOLD STILL! STOP SCRATCHING YOUR NOSE!

OK, good, now everyone slowly make your way to the door... OK, easy, easy, not too fast <sprints for door> I'm sorry, Comrades! I'm sorry! If one of us is to make it out alive it has to be me! It has to be ME!

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Where is my Avatar? It's not displaying!? HAS SOMEONE DENOUNCED ME!?

You're all a bunch of weenies! Our Empress knows that all that is accomplished is accomplished in her name, though not truly considered accomplishment as we do not do that at the Cube... Nor did Algore WIN the Nobel Peace Prize, per se... rather, it was presented to him so that he could give it to Her Royal Highness for the Great Good, along with all that goes with it.

Our Queen is a benevolent Queen... and we are her children, to do with as she deems fit - be that raise us or eat us... because, IT IS ALL FOR THE CHILDREN!

Now get some backbone, both of you, and go change your Depends™... both of you...
Geeze...

The Great Meow wrote: Where is my Avatar? It's not displaying!? HAS SOMEONE DENOUNCED ME!?

I see it fine. It's still glowering at me with that unnerving stare that it always does. *sniff* It makes me feel so unwanted... oh well, maybe I just need more happy pills.

Horary for Algore! Unfortunately, the kkkapitlaists are already falsifying his greatness and trying to smear his word of the God of Global Warming™.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/artic ... E_ID=58111

Betty... no need to cry (or cut onions)... that's not glowering... that's fear... heheheh...

... can I have some of your happy pills?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote: OK, good, now everyone slowly make your way to the door... OK, easy, easy, not too fast <sprints for door> I'm sorry, Comrades! I'm sorry! If one of us is to make it out alive it has to be me! It has to be ME!

I leave for like a month and come back seeing that our Chairman is being...well, let's say, not for the People. What's with this? Are you becoming our little Trotsky?

Speaking of which, I was working with our venerable prize winner working on attempts at Global Cooling, which seems to be taking place over parts of the good USSA. I mean, what's peace without a little Cooling? We had plenty of that during the Cold War.

On the side note, computer technology is scarce at where I work...or shall I say, I don't use it that often? My bad for being gone so long...it's all for the People that I don't stay around so long.

V. lvanov

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:Our Queen is a benevolent Queen... and we are her children, to do with as she deems fit - be that raise us or eat us... because, IT IS ALL FOR THE CHILDREN!

Yes, perhaps you might notice she was being quite benevolent in the Purge thread as well. Er...excuse me, I have an important errand to run, somewhere, for something.

Oh, and Chairman, I just want you to know that I simply can not stick around here and listen to these comrades make less than flattering remarks about your appearance... so I will not stick around... for the moment... Courage Chairman!

SMO wrote: ... can I have some of your happy pills?

Just ask for it by name: Zoloft!

It still does not beat giving the Nobel Peace Prize to Arafat. Whoever jumped on that was definably on our side.

Premier Betty wrote: Horary for Algore! Unfortunately, the kkkapitlaists are already falsifying his greatness and trying to smear his word of the God of Global Warming™.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/artic ... E_ID=58111

<character off>

I remember reading this on Fox News a few days ago. There goes irony. Personally, I think that the warming period that we are feeling is from Gore's hot air. If he would bother to shut up for 2 seconds about it heating up, we would plunge into a second ice age, but do not worry comrades, once global warming is played out, we will switch gears again and like in the 70s, it will be a global ice age upon us (it still will be Bush's fault of course).

Premier Betty wrote:

SMO wrote: ... can I have some of your happy pills?

Just ask for it by name: Zoloft!

Hmm... makes me think of a Ricola Lozenges commercial for some reason... "Do you or have you ever owned a pair of Lederhosen?" she asked, shining the bright light into his eyes... "Have you ever had a Mentos... The Freshmaker... and suddenly had the urge to share a saccharine moment and clearly fake laugh with some yahoo futboller buddies of yours, or to help a young woman move her car into a space too small for her to manoeuvre into, by picking it up and carrying it?"

If you answered "yes" to either of these questions, you should probably be on Ritalin instead... I'll just take that Zoloft for now as I don't think you'll be needing it... Are you gonna finish that hotdog?

Global warming is a huge boost to our cause comrades, no question about it. Of course it is a scam, but then it is our kind of scam. Tell me, if any of you had never heard of global warming or any of the associated scare stories, would you have concluded on your own the world is warming? Would you say, oh, it never was this hot before, or we never had storms like this before... I know I wouldn't. People talk about Katrina, but then I remember Betsy, just as before that, there was Camille, and Audrey. I remember even as a child often going out on Christmas day in short sleeves.

Who needs happy pills when Our Many Titted Empress gave us bullets to bite? I saw Madame Nanski interviewed and she was so happy, so very happy, and my cats were very convinced by her happiness, waiting a full ten seconds before walking out of the room with their tails up. Normally it takes only five.

But I wonder if the Goremon is happy these days. He seemed so much more animated in 1992--if you see some of the YouTube snippets of him. He was, like, er, human. And now he's more oracular, and fatter, and more sententious, and fatter, and more orotund, and fatter, and more leaden, and fatter, and he doesn't look like a happy camper any more. (Side note: ever since Hillary came and rode Bruno around the swimming pool with her Gucci spurs there are <i>no</i> happy campers anywhere.)

I wonder of the Gorobot has fallen victim to MacroShaft's featuritis--everything is there, fighting with everything else, none of it done particularly well, and it really just doesn't work.

Well, I can live with that as long as this Global Warming thing lets me get my hooks onto more money and every night I have visions of all those proles living in mud huts with thatched roofs. Now that's progressive progress.

He was, like, er, human. And now he's more oracular, and fatter, and more sententious, and fatter, and more orotund, and fatter, and more leaden, and fatter, and he doesn't look like a happy camper any more.

Having all those carbon offsets in your wallet will do that to you.

Plus being full of shit doesn't help.

Comrades, do you think the Goracle carries money? The Queen of England doesn't. The Pope doesn't. The High Priest of the First Church of Climatology, Reformed, Master of the Stone of Temperature Telling, Watcher of the Waters of the Sea, Sniffer of the Ozone, carries no money for all is open to Him

...Blessed be His Name
Beatus est, beatus est, beatissimus est
Caput faeces, os fimi...

...Bruno? Where the fuck is that Yanni CD? I don't care if he was born dead, that's what the Goracle wants!...

No, all is for him, he needs carry no money. And he grew up a Washington princeling who was taught from the day that he was Born of A Woman Who Mightily Wished She Had Been a Virgin that it's all OPM so WFT?

Hmmm, oh, of course you have been through the Pope's pockets and the Queens, well, who knows? Then again, the High Priest must carry around a few carbon credits? Or perhaps he has a charge card for them?

Commissar Vladimir Ivanov wrote:
I leave for like a month and come back seeing that our Chairman is being...well, let's say, not for the People. What's with this? Are you becoming our little Trotsky?

I have never been so offended in my life! Commissar Ivanov, I am disappointed you would think I have defected to the other side! I love being a Progressive Democrat! I love working for the People™, the Children™ and oppressed people/things the world over!

Why, I would give my mother's arm for the People™. I would also sacrifice millions upon millions of thought criminals for the People™... I would also even sacrifice a few Commissars here and there too for the People™ <looks in Commissar Ivanov's general direction> <smiles> See? I'm still the same Chairman as everyone has come to know, admire and make special favors for (I like that watch you have on Commissar Ivanov). I haven't changed a bit!

{off}
Welcome back, Ivanov!
{on}

Your watch please... oh, and that ring. I really like your ring as well.

It was shameful indeed Chairman what Commissar Ivanov had to say about you. I feel as if I let you down for not having corrected his statements before now, but this is my first time to have met him. I did indeed check the roles as I wondered if he was some "phoney commissar" of the sort that has been in the news so much recently. But I discovered he was indeed on the registry even before I, so I bid my time. BTW, did you happen to notice those lovely figurines he has? Most unique.

Yes, Ivanov, welcome back although you predate me, and I've been here since Hillary weighed under #300. I hope that your mission was a successful one and that people who don't need things that they had don't have the things that they didn't need even if they thought that they did in fact need them when all Progressives like us know that we need them more than other people need them.

We have the ability to discern their needs or lack of them when they don't.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:

Commissar Vladimir Ivanov wrote:
I leave for like a month and come back seeing that our Chairman is being...well, let's say, not for the People. What's with this? Are you becoming our little Trotsky?

I have never been so offended in my life! Commissar Ivanov, I am disappointed you would think I have defected to the other side! I love being a Progressive Democrat! I love working for the People™, the Children™ and oppressed people/things the world over!

Why, I would give my mother's arm for the People™. I would also sacrifice millions upon millions of thought criminals for the People™... I would also even sacrifice a few Commissars here and there too for the People™ <looks in Commissar Ivanov's general direction> <smiles> See? I'm still the same Chairman as everyone has come to know, admire and make special favors for (I like that watch you have on Commissar Ivanov). I haven't changed a bit!

{off}
Welcome back, Ivanov!
{on}

Your watch please... oh, and that ring. I really like your ring as well.

Oh, dear Chairman, do you want a tissue? I forgot that this is the realm of Political Correctness, so I hope I didn't offend you too deeply. Here...my top of the line Rolex for you (don't tell the whole world...remember, we're supposed to all be equal), and this ring...well, it's my alma mater ring from the People's University...do you really want that? I would think that you would've gotten it already.

Pupovich, so you're saying that you have visited my bathroom to see these figurines? Yikes...that's a bit sketchy. Are you the Commissar of the Secret Police? Oh boy. (What do I owe you to cover this up?)

Oh yes, Theocritus...the first among equals concept works great. Hmm...I've got that gold dustpan and broom that some capitalist pig want to throw away...you want it? It's too rich for me.

Commissar Vladimir Ivanov wrote:Pupovich, so you're saying that you have visited my bathroom to see these figurines? Yikes...that's a bit sketchy. Are you the Commissar of the Secret Police? Oh boy. (What do I owe you to cover this up?)

Technically, I am privileged to oversee the offices of Eco-Prostitution and Mental Health for the Party. So I am sure you can see how that would give me considerable access to areas that some would prefer not to be seen, but it is For the Common Good™ after all. (I am sure some minimal arrangement can be made to let this indident "disappear." This Commissar is not greedy like some... it's a weakness I know.)

Ivanovich, I'll take anything but the clap. If I can't use it, I'll either sell it or bribe someone with it--it's all one to me. And thanks.

Just think. Before I entered this exalted forum I didn't realize the extent of my rights--that we are all equal but me first, really really first, that the world really <i>is</i> about me, but that's because I can make things better for other people.

...Bruno, stop banging my chest! You know I was just laughing. It wasn't another seizure like the time that Our Many Titted Empress found my cash stash...

Oh, yes. I'm <i>so</i> into other people now. I really mean it. There's nothing I would do to other people for me, er, for other people. And I'm never slow to tell them that either, to lead them in the ways of righteousness for Algore's sake.

The Goracle wrote:Yeah, though I walk through the valley of capitalism, I shall fear no riches, for Algore is with me, his IRS and its staff they rob me.

Surely political correctness and arbitrary abuse of power shall follow me and I shall dwell in the caves of the moonbats forever.

There there Commissar... You are clearly suffering from a mental illness. I hate to break it to you.... but I am more equal It's mine, all mine! Praise Lenin, Heil Hillary! Great Stalin's Ghost! What have I done? Oh, the Empress will surely not notice that.