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Announcing Slumber Party and Makeover for Comrade Pinkie!

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All progressively-minded ladies are invited to a slumber party at my dacha this weekend. Be sure to bring your red PJ's and bedroll. We will engage in politically correct gossip, nude pillow fights, and we will give Comrade Commisarka Pinkie a true Marxist makeover.

Comrade men, I am sorry but you are not invited. But we promise to post photos of Comrade Commisarka after her makeover is complete. With such a collectivist spirit, she will undoubtedly share her voluptarian delights with each and every one of you.

XOXOXOXO

Nadezhda Alliluyeva

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Comrrade Nadezhda, I assume that since I have been invited to your dacha, and the fact that I am a canine comrade, I will not be subject to such a ban on attending the slumber party? After all, it is quite routine and progressive to allow the guard dog or family pet to attend such gatherings, regardless of other exclusions?

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Comrade men, I am sorry but you are not invited.

I denounce this sexist gathering and demand equality of access for all properly credentialled Party members.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
Comrade men, I am sorry but you are not invited.

I denounce this sexist gathering and demand equality of access for all properly credentialled Party members.

Ditto!!!

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I hereby announce the creation of the Nadezhda Alliluyeva's Slumber Party Commission (NASPC) that will decide which properly credentialed Party members can attend, for how long, and in what capacity. Applications are accepted on this thread along with online payments (PayPal).

All applicants must provide their autobiography, work record books, proof of propiska, family status (if any), list of all relatives living in countries of the non-socialist sector, health records, immunization records and blood tests, characterization from place of work if any, and a clean bill of mental health from Thoughtcrime Prevention Unit.

All applications must be submitted in triplicate and all standard forms must be completed with #2 red pencil (contact Chairman Punchenko if you don' have one). All forms must be notarized and stamped at the Thoughtcrime Prevention Unit.

This is a bit more than the set of paperwork we had specified a while ago, which was required from Party members who wanted to visit Pinkie's hovel. Party members with a special elite status ("superdelegates") were allowed to enter through the back door then, and we see no reason why this policy can't be applicable in case of Nadezhda Alliluyeva's Slumber Party.

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Who do I have to kill How does one go about achieving superdelegate status?

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You male comrades obviously do not understand the mystery that is the slumber party. You must all live in your mothers' basements, in which case you couldn't possibly come this Saturday, or you'll miss Science Fiction Theater and the weekly pop-up Star Trek marathon.

I'll wager you think Nadezhda looks like the women in those comic books you read--you know, long flowing tresses, legs from here to eternity, and boobs that put your eyes out. You forget these are Progressive females of the "Breasts Not Bombs" variety, not "hot capitalist babes." Now, do you still really want to see our nude pillow fights?

How are we supposed to make crank calls to you guys this Saturday night, if you're already at the party? That's what girls do at slumber parties, you know. That, and we speculate about weighty scientific matters like size, density, motion and thrust--which may sound exciting to you at first, until I deflate your hopes by clarifying that it has nothing to do with travels at warp speed on the Starship Enterprise.

In regards to dogs, Pupovich, you may come only if you're neutered first. May I recommend the Empress Hillary Nutcracker?

Obviously, Laika's already in.

Maybe Nadezhda will let you men come if you agree to dress up as girls (Pup, do you still have your pretty Lulu Pink princess outfit?) and you must all agree to play Poor Pussy.

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Can we at least change the game name to Poor Hussie?

Sounds like a fun party. Just don't let Comrade Ted Kennedy drive you home.

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Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrrade Nadezhda, I assume that since I have been invited to your dacha, and the fact that I am a canine comrade, I will not be subject to such a ban on attending the slumber party? After all, it is quite routine and progressive to allow the guard dog or family pet to attend such gatherings, regardless of other exclusions?

Sorry, Comrade Marshal. Girls only!

If you were a bitch, you would be quite welcome. We cannot have any male dogs sniffing our asses while we are trying to give Comrade Pinkie her makeover.

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Red Square wrote:All applicants must provide their autobiography, work record books, proof of propiska, family status (if any), list of all relatives living in countries of the non-socialist sector, health records, immunization records and blood tests, characterization from place of work if any, and a clean bill of mental health from Thoughtcrime Prevention Unit.

All applications must be submitted in triplicate and all standard forms must be completed with #2 red pencil (contact Chairman Punchenko if you don' have one). All forms must be notarized and stamped at the Thoughtcrime Prevention Unit.

Glorious Red Square, I believe you will find all my "forms" are in order....

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NadezhdaAlliluyeva wrote:[If you were a bitch, you would be quite welcome. We cannot have any male dogs sniffing our asses while we are trying to give Comrade Pinkie her makeover.

I can assure you, I will only be their in my capacity as a guard dog, and perhaps have my head scratched a little.

<center><img src="https://members.cox.net/1sickpup/dogbeach.gif">

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Marshal, perhaps you could fool her with this costume. We'll play Poor Puppy instead.

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Or perhaps I will just commander your office for my staff while you are away. Yes, that may not be a bad idea at all. I have to ask though, is this the way you learned on your collective to treat a comrade who said such nice things about you just this past week? I guess you can take the comrade off the farm, but you can't take the kulak out of the comrade....

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You forget these are Progressive females of the "Breasts Not Bombs" variety, not "hot capitalist babes." Now, do you still really want to see our nude pillow fights?

I have to agree with comrade Foxworthy: "I want a beer, and I'd like to see somebody naked."

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Comrade Nat....I would be delighted to come to your sleepover/Pinkie makeover.
My spousal unit(thanx Pinkie) is disappointed that it won't be held at my hovel(he thought he could sneak back in while we were busy w/ Pinkie's overhaul). But he will get over it.

I have a couple questions though. Which lucky comrade's house are we going to TP?
I vote for Comrade SexyBrain aka Betinov.
And is the nude pillow fighting going to be oil or no-oil...cuz i have really sensitive skin and would prefer to bring my own oil.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
You forget these are Progressive females of the "Breasts Not Bombs" variety, not "hot capitalist babes." Now, do you still really want to see our nude pillow fights?

I have to agree with comrade Foxworthy: "I want a beer, and I'd like to see somebody naked."

And then,of course, there's my spousal unit's favorite...Rodney Carrington who sings a little ditty called "Titties and Beer" ......a true classic lol

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NadezhdaAlliluyeva wrote: Sorry, Comrade Marshal. Girls only!

If you were a bitch, you would be quite welcome. We cannot have any male dogs sniffing our asses while we are trying to give Comrade Pinkie her makeover.

Excellent decision, comrade N. Surely, though, another pussycat would be welcome? I would fit in purrrrfectly at your little wing-ding.

Commissarka, the Marshal does look pretty in pink, doesn't he? Perhaps you could persuade comrade N to invite him as well and keep him in the laundry room with a bowl of water and Puppy Chow while we all frolic in comradely fellowship around the dacha! That's a good doggie!

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Promoting yourself yet again without Party permission Comrade Cat?I am proud to say that my title was the result of hard work for the Party which was recognized by the Supreme Leader. But I suppose this new "breed" of young commies feel like they can just promote themselves without paying the price for admission.


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Pupovich, what nice things did you say about me this past week? You accused me of complaining too much--unless that was really a compliment about the depth and authenticity of my Progressive misery.

That aside, the picture of you I posted is an example of what goes on at slumber parties. We do dress-ups and makeovers. We could put ribbons and bows on Betinov's jar, too.

Now, do you guys really want to endure all that--or is your goal to merely gain admission a la Shannon Faulkner at the Citadel, just so the masculinazis can say, "Look what we did--we smashed another sexist barrier and got a guy admitted into an all-female bastion. So what if he can't handle the underarm waxing and the eyebrow plucking and the curling iron and the childbirth or otherwise do anything else only women in their superior arrogance think they can do--the important thing is WE GOT HIM IN THERE!"

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Now, do you guys really want to endure all that--or is your goal to merely gain admission a la Shannon Faulkner at the Citadel, just so the masculinazis can say, "Look what we did--we smashed another sexist barrier and got a guy admitted into an all-female bastion. So what if he can't handle the underarm waxing and the eyebrow plucking and the curling iron and the childbirth or otherwise do anything else only women in their superior arrogance think they can do--the important thing is WE GOT HIM IN THERE!"

Why, that is EXACTLY the point. In fact, that is Progressivism in a nutshell. It doesn't matter that a given policy is self-destructive, or counterproductive, or utterly impractical. What matters is its ideological purity. So what if people are inconvienced by the Truth? So what if people are reduced to utter poverty? So what if millions starve to death? So long as the Party and the Ideology for which it stands triumphs, no cause is too petty, no sacrifice (by others) is too great.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Pupovich, what nice things did you say about me this past week?

Perchance you missed this posted in Nadzhea's greeting thread?

"Fear not Commissarka, you are not out of touch. You are but one facetof the glorious collectivist jewel. The qualities you bring to therevolution are every bit as equal as the others. more equal than most.Hsu has better, or louger HBO than you? How could a comrade distinguishthe "sultry, smoldering Nadezhda" were it not for a Commissarka such asyou? I say don't change a thing about your self, and raise your shovelhigh."

Now I can't imagine higher praise from a high ranking Party more equal such as my self. And how is my praise returned? By posting that slander travesty for the umpteenth time?

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Oh, I saw it, Pupovich. In fact, that's an example of what is known as a "backhanded compliment." (I might call it a left-handed compliment, but then I'd get condemned by the victim group better known as Rights for Left-Handed Americans.)

You implied that you can't see beauty--or ugliness--unless you have the opposite with which to compare it. In other words, how can you appreciate how beautiful Nadezhda is, without ugly Pinkie for comparison? You never realized how scary Pinkie is, until you came face to face with the face that could launch a thousand new social programs (or in the case of Empress Hillary, a million of them).

Rest assured I'm raising my shovel high, but remember what goes up must come down, and you'd best worry about what happens when I finally lower it.

And that picture is not slander, nor is it travesty. I've told you before, you look absolutely darling in that outfit.

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Hussies n' Thingies wrote:Comrade Nat....I would be delighted to come to your sleepover/Pinkie makeover.
My spousal unit(thanx Pinkie) is disappointed that it won't be held at my hovel(he thought he could sneak back in while we were busy w/ Pinkie's overhaul). But he will get over it.

I have a couple questions though. Which lucky comrade's house are we going to TP?
I vote for Comrade SexyBrain aka Betinov.
And is the nude pillow fighting going to be oil or no-oil...cuz i have really sensitive skin and would prefer to bring my own oil.

Comrade Betinov's dacha could use some decoration. Perhaps a few eggs too?

Oil will be great. I will be happy to oil you up myself.

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General Mousey-Tongue wrote:
NadezhdaAlliluyeva wrote: Sorry, Comrade Marshal. Girls only!

If you were a bitch, you would be quite welcome. We cannot have any male dogs sniffing our asses while we are trying to give Comrade Pinkie her makeover.

Excellent decision, comrade N. Surely, though, another pussycat would be welcome? I would fit in purrrrfectly at your little wing-ding.

Commissarka, the Marshal does look pretty in pink, doesn't he? Perhaps you could persuade comrade N to invite him as well and keep him in the laundry room with a bowl of water and Puppy Chow while we all frolic in comradely fellowship around the dacha! That's a good doggie!

Certainly Comrage General. You are quite welcome to attend. Please be sure to bring your collectivist attitude.

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Commissarka..... I take no responsibility for your failure to see what I said in the spirit in which it was offered. This is but one in a line of such failures, so therefore I shall desist future efforts. You know, sometimes a duck really is a duck, not some subliminal back door attack. Feel free to show your slander as often as you wish....

Where do you people think you are? America? You cannot exclude in this glorious Marxist society. What's good for one, is good for all.

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I object to this slumber party foolishness,Comrades!

First and foremost, a slumber -- or sleep if you will -- is a deadly reactionary force used by the Capitalist to disrupt our activities in raising class consciousness among workers. Secondly, slumbers shouldn't be allowed to organize into a party or any other political unit that would dare threaten the People's Party and our grasp on political power.

Comrades, I have no choice but to attend this "slumber party" naked and lubed so that I may record the proceedings and report back to the Politburo. We must be vigilant against any and all political entities that do not share our same values, principles and disgust for liberty, personal responsibility, and, of course, AMERICA.

Now then... where is my gimp outfit and my overnight bag?

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NadezhdaAlliluyeva wrote: Certainly Comrage General. You are quite welcome to attend. Please be sure to bring your collectivist attitude.

Many thanks, esteemed comrade! Given that Chairman Meow will now be present, naked and lubed, I must respectfully decline. The very thought almost makes me hurl tuna all over my keyboard (forgive my graphic descripton, Nadezhda Alliluyeva).

Commissarka Pinkie: I must say, your shovel should come down hard, and come down soon! Do you remember the days when the pupster was a fun, furry comrade without the dour and self-important cult of personality he has elaborately constructed about himself? When life was simpler, a bone in the yard and a bowl on the porch? Since becoming Marshal Pupovich, he has gotten even worse. I do fear for his health, his sanity, and especially his poilitical reliability.

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Oooh, NadezhdaAlliluyeva - I do not presume to invite myself to this shindig, but may I drop by a few complimentary jars of my own special hair removal cream? You and the rest of the ladies are welcome to try it, I think you will find it most effective at removing unsightly body hair.

And speaking of body hair, may I suggest you liberally apply a thick coating to the Chairman before you allow him anywhere near the ladies? I've seen him at parties before, and the term 'wooly mammoth' comes to mind!

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I think that since the Chairman will be at the slumber party all lubed and ready to rumble, we should get a slippy slide and engage in Slippy Slide Chairman Rides.
Jump on the chairman's back and slide down that slippery slide to a vat of (oil?)
Suggestions welcome on what the vat should contain :)

As for all of you disgruntled male-specific comrades....don't despair,Comrade SexyBrain will be shooting footage of our slumber party in all of its technicolor glory.
(He may need to do a little photoshopping on the Wooley Chairman,though.)

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Oooo, "SexyBrain." I like that.

Yes,Comrade,I know how you like it.

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:slumbers shouldn't be allowed to organize into a party or any other political unit that would dare threaten the People's Party and our grasp on political power.
At one time I thought that "slumber party" was a term to describe the Democrats, but after the 2006 Great November Revolution and Takeover I'm convinced it's a new nickname for the Republicans. Especially with McCain as the GOP front man.

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Dr. Gno wrote:Oooh, NadezhdaAlliluyeva - I do not presume to invite myself to this shindig, but may I drop by a few complimentary jars of my own special hair removal cream? You and the rest of the ladies are welcome to try it, I think you will find it most effective at removing unsightly body hair.

And speaking of body hair, may I suggest you liberally apply a thick coating to the Chairman before you allow him anywhere near the ladies? I've seen him at parties before, and the term 'wooly mammoth' comes to mind!

Thank you Comrade Doctor. Excess hair removal is always at the forefront of any socialist woman's agenda. Your complimentary jars will be most welcome.

Yes, I believe the Comrade Chairman will need full hair removal, and perhaps some anatomical adjustments so that he may fit in the collectivist slumber party.

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You will find it is the Chairman that decides what he will need, For the Common Good™ of course, and what adjustments will be needed,For the Children™. May Lenin have mercy......

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I object to this slumber party foolishness,Comrades!

First and foremost, a slumber -- or sleep if you will -- is a deadly reactionary force used by the Capitalist to disrupt our activities in raising class consciousness among workers. Secondly, slumbers shouldn't be allowed to organize into a party or any other political unit that would dare threaten the People's Party and our grasp on political power.

Comrades, I have no choice but to attend this "slumber party" naked and lubed so that I may record the proceedings and report back to the Politburo. We must be vigilant against any and all political entities that do not share our same values, principles and disgust for liberty, personal responsibility, and, of course, AMERICA.

Now then... where is my gimp outfit and my overnight bag?

Fear not, esteemed Chairman, for a Slumber Party is no more about sleeping than the Democrat Party is about being democratic.

Meanwhile, Minister Andropov chides:

You cannot exclude in this glorious Marxist society. What's good for one, is good for all.

No one supports equality more than I do, Comrade Andropov. Therefore, if you male comrades wish to take part, you will have to do everything the female comrades do. That includes enduring painful hair removal, painful hair styling, painful shoes, painful undergarments, painful examinations, and painful conversations about painful cramps.

You must be prepared to feel our pain if you are to be as equal as we are!

There's a reason the song's lyric goes, "I am woman, hear me roar."


 
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