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AP Fact Check Team Back to Work

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The Associate Press Fact Check Team hasn't had much to do since Sarah Palin's biography came out a couple months back. Rumor is, someone lost the Wii controllers last week and they're tired of doing sudokus. To pass the time, they decided to fact check some of last night's current truth.

https://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_obama_fact_check

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I denounce Comrade Panem Et Circenses!

Speeches given by Chairman Obama never need "fact checking." They are based on The Current TruthTM(which we know is subject ChangeTM without notice). How can you check facts when their meaning is fluid and flexible? We need this type of adaptability so the "facts" can mean whatever we want. If someone keeps checking and reporting like this, what will the proles think? I know they're not supposed to think (we do that for them), but what would happen if they do? Utter chaos, that's what!

Be careful, Comrade! There might be a "shovel-ready project" in your future.

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Comrades, comrades, please - I denounce myself and grovel at the feel of our leaders! I was merely reporting what others had written, uh, never mind - down the memory hole it goes, with all the rest.

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Breaking news! Obama called a press conference to answer these vile charges.

{OFF}
Do not have any liquids in your mouth while watching this (you been warned).


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Comrade Stalin, I'm concerned that YOU might be the next "shovel ready" project (if you get my jest). We must be ever diligent regarding our most proper remarks about our Dear Leader.

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Whoopie, wherever did you get that marvelous clip of Obowma stuttering? It just goes to show how generous the man is.

He's so generous that he let Bill Ayers write his books for him.

He's so generous that he let the real words go to people who might need them more, because they do not have his Sun King presence. He let his mellifluous words go to Nanski and Harry. They'll use the words.

And this is also a introduction of Obamish. It's a language which sounds very good, looks sincere, and not a single thing that you say in it has to relate to the real world or truth in the slightest fashion. Anything that you promise in Obamish is just fine because no matter what happens, you won't have said it.

I can hardly wait for Obamish to replace English. Those infomercials at night--in Obamish you won't have to judge whether or not it's a crock of shit, overpriced crap, or not--if it looks kind of cool and you want to bang the person who's selling it, then Obamish lets you do what you want without fear of being wrong. because you won't have taken an undeniable position.

And so thank you, dear Whoopie, for showing me the introduction of Obamish.


 
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