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Approved Apology Form For External Use

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Here's an approved apology form that should facilitate and streamline the apologizing process in our society. Perhaps our Commander-In-Chief could take a note and develop an international apology form just for his own purposes and feed it into his teleprompter.

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I discovered it on this site that has similar forms for most important occasions. I'm so glad there are people like creators of this site that selflessly toil on making the lives of the unwashed a little easier.

Other existing forms:

DECLARATION OF ROMANTIC INTENT To reveal the extent of one's attraction.
UNSOLICITED FEEDBACK To express an opinion or insight.
OBSERVANCE OF HOLIDAY To celebrate an annual event.
AIRING OF GRIEVANCE To communicate a problem or issue.
FORMAL APOLOGY To express remorse (heartfelt or forced).
STATEMENT OF GRATITUDE To show appreciation or thanks.
OFFICIAL INVITATION To request participation in a happening.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF OCCASION To observe a birthday, bris, or victory.

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Most convenient Comrade Red Square. How many should I had out for the Berlin Wall debacle, and to whom?

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These will make life so much more enjoyable. I remember when I was a boy and having to perform tasks for Comrade Dad and Comrade Mom. Each time I completed a task without negative outcomes or rebuke from the Politiburo, they would reward me with hand-mimeographed certificates of approval on which they would check the "approved" box themselves! Glorious! One thing that would make these excellent forms even more useful is if the state would send someone over to supervise me while I fill them out.

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So many apologies, so little time. And as for Dear Leader, the apologist's apologist, I do hope he gets them all in while he has the chance. He really ought to win an award of some kind for all of his apologizing. Oh, that's right, he already did.


 
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