Trump's Paris Accord announcement - the equivalent of him personally raping Earth's ecology - caused a shock all over the world, currently convulsed in the fangs of an unprecedentedly violent change of its global climate.

Thereupon, Europe's FART - Fast Active Reaction Team, a creation of the recent G7 conclave - immediately went operative to define EU's full response spectrum.

FART experts - all exalted PIMP consultants (Political Intersectional Messaging and Posturing) - identified the central measure to be taken. It has to be a collective symbolic march for progress in planetary climate.

After in-depth consultation of all EU partners and consideration of the specifics of all 24 official EU languages, the focal message of the march is now settled. It says:

Of course, the accompanying hashtag has also been agreed upon, after hours of thorough and gritty deliberations: #GlobeMarchWeEU.

~

Frau Merkel, who - since her recent beer tent speech during the Trudering festival - took (cit.) "Europe's destiny in [her] own hand", decreed the WeEU-March to take place in Brussels (Belgium). Of course, she added, Brussel's Molenbeek district will necessarily be cordoned and cut off, but inside there will be free (EU funded) falafel handed out, "so, let's hope..", she said.

Next, Monsieur Macron, who considers himself a rising star, did his best to snag some of the WeEU-March splendor and position himself on near-equal footing with Mme Mèrkél, or even become the figurehead of the great climate event.

Macron declared the march an "Action Révolutionnaire", and told the press crowd surrounding him "Cette marche est très très importante".
The encircling presstitutes were spellbound, while photogs crawled on knees to snap Macron's portrait héroïque in frog's perspective, nostrils to be soft-photoshopped later.
"A further increase of our planetary climate must not be instantiated", professed Monsieur Macron. And added "Yes, a leader - like me - has to manifest his leadership qualities. That's what you see."


Then the next sensation.

EU's Central Committee declared that Душко Марковић, the President of Црна Гора, will be assigned a spot in the very front row of the WeEU-March. The choreographic arm of FART designed a spectacular, media attention catching WeEU-March opening sequence. According to that scenario, President Марковић will move from the second row to the front line, by harshly shoving aside (and rearwards) another important WeEU-March participant.

That way the honor of Црна Гора aka Montenegro, shattered by Trump, will be restored.

Now, the one to be shoved aside (and to the back). That role has been assigned to the President of Poland. He is alleged to have reacted with "A pocałujcież mnie wszyscy w dupę", a combination of y'all + kiss + behind.
Anyway, all countries of the Visegrád Group (Poland + Czech Republic + Slovakia + Hungary) declared to be busy with issues not related to climate, and would therefore, however regrettingly, skip the glorious WeEU-March.

Last minute.
Now, also Butthurt Bunker of Kalorama chimed in :
"We need more African-Europeans to lead the international fight for climate", said Commander-in-Bunker, subtly chiding White Europe for its past colonialism and current inclusion deficits.


And Trump is left with his covfefe.
Plus two scoops of icecream.




(LEAK!)
Concerning FART, EU's "Fast Active Reaction Team" :
In secret, EU officials let discreetly know the real intent of "FART": Forever Actively Resist Trump.

Oh, Comrade Dummkopf, once again you inspire us with brilliant reporting!
Resist we much! En marche we merk! Or twerk. Or something.

THE SCIENCE! IT'S ABOUT THE SCIENCE! No. It's not about the science, it's about assumptions made about the science that are fed into computer models by God knows who. Computer models that predict global catastrophes every 10 years that never happen. Yes, that's why we should trust and believe economic and political short bus retards that keep getting it wrong. /rant

Komrade Kalashnikook!

Don't you dare to scepticize & denialize on SCIENCE™!
Just continue along that path... and soon you will bark even against Nauchnyi Kommunizm!
And at that point you'll get a free ride - if not straight to Kolyma, then at least to Umiat, Alaska!