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Help the World Discover Dear Leader's Accomplishments!

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Comrades, as we all know, Dear Leader Obama has more accomplishments than he can shake his big stick at. Unfortunately, a media hostile to this president has embargoed any information regarding his great and wondrous works, leaving the masses in the dark as to the nature of the magnificent leader they have been gifted with.

But now there is finally good news. The Inner Party has devised a way to get around this news blackout and inform the public of what The One's genius has produced:

The Heritage Foundation's Rory Cooper tweeted that Obama had casually dropped his own name into Ronald Reagan's official biography on https://www.whitehouse.gov, claiming credit for taking up the mantle of Reagan's tax reform advocacy with his “Buffett Rule” gimmick. My first thought was, he must be joking. But he wasn't— it turns out Obama has added bullet points bragging about his own accomplishments to the biographical sketches of every single U.S. president since Calvin Coolidge (except, for some reason, Gerald Ford). Here are a few examples:

*On Feb. 22, 1924 Calvin Coolidge became the first president to make a public radio address to the American people. President Coolidge later helped create the Federal Radio Commission, which has now evolved to become the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). President Obama became the first president to hold virtual gatherings and town halls using Twitter, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn.

*President Lyndon Johnson signed Medicare signed (sic) into law in 1965—providing millions of elderly healthcare stability. President Obama's historic health care reform law, the Affordable Care Act, strengthens Medicare, offers eligible seniors a range of preventive services with no cost-sharing, and provides discounts on drugs when in the coverage gap known as the “donut hole.”

*In a June 28, 1985 speech Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multi-millionaire did not have a lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule.

Source: Contentions

Comrades, we must all stop shovelling and harvesting the communal beets temporarily and help uncover more of Dear Leader's accomplishments and imbed them in fortune cookies, the bottom of tea cups, milk cartons, etc, etc - places like whitehouse.gov where the media will not be able to censor them and the public can see them. I have thought up a few but I am sure there are millions more...

- Thomas Edison discovered the principle of alternating current (AC). President Obama is the first metrosexual/gay president (AC/DC.)

- Henry Ford enslaved the workers and forced them to produce automobiles which burn evil gasoline. President Obama freed the workers of GM and allowed them to create the superior Chevy Volt which just burns.

- Hippocrates created the Hypocrite's oath which requires doctors to perform needless surgeries so they can buy luxury cars and large homes. President Obama created the Independent Patient Advisory Board which prevents doctors from doing this and gives patients pain pills instead.

- The Supreme Court invalidated Campaign Finance Reform, which allowed fat cats and big corporations to steal elections from the masses. President Obama invalided credit card address verification for contributions to his campaign, allowing the masses to steal them back.

Fellow 99-percenters, we must celebrate President Obama's accomplishments on our behlaf just as we celebrate Comrade Warren's 1/32 Cherokee Heritage! Get out there and get in the faces of your friends, neighbors and confidential informants and confront them with "Did you know President Obama...." (oh, and please have some brilliant factoid ready to insert in your sentence in place of the "..." or you will look like Chris Matthews Sarah Palin playing Jeopardy.)

Thank you.

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hehehe... you beat me, but by mere seconds! Or maybe 10 minutes. Whichever comes first.

Um, uh, where was I now? Oh yes - on my way to buy fortune cookies...

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:hehehe... you beat me, but by mere seconds! Or maybe 10 minutes. Whichever comes first.

Um, uh, where was I now? Oh yes - on my way to buy fortune cookies...

Ah, post it anyway... there can't be enough good news about Dear Leader.

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Stimulus will be a little different this time, he is looking for volunteers to stimulate his package.

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Dear Leader 's other accomplishments:

-Liberated many healthcare professionals from their jobs in South Florida.

-Longer wait times to receive medical services for those on archaic capitalist private health insurance in South Florida.

-Made us realize that dog is an alternative school lunch and not just a pet.

-Make it reasonable for teachers to demand more money so we can afford some blow and demonize anyone for asking us why we need it.

-Reminding everyone that "Derek Bell" was an outfielder for the Astros and Mets and not a subversive idiot that is party responsible for our curriculum.

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In 1962 James Watson (b. 1928), Francis Crick (1916–2004), and Maurice Wilkins (1916–2004) jointly received the Nobel Prize in physiology or medicine for their 1953 determination of the structure of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). In 2009 President Barack Obama received the Nobel Prize for having DNA or something.


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Better DNA! Better DNA! Better DNA!

Oh my goodness ...

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Not DNC? I hear about it on the news all the time...

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Help the World Discover Dear Leader's Accomplishments!

(prog off)

Here you go, world!

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Hey, I just discovered how to use Twitter to benefit the glorious collective. There have been many great contributions to the #obamainhistory hashtag. So I Tweeted all these from The People's Cube account, including the ones found on this thread. I needed to make them shorter though, to fit the Twitter limit.


#obamainhistory In 1st grade Obama wrote a school essay that later became known as US Constitution

#obamainhistory Barack Obama once fed a multitude of 46 million food stamp recipients with 5 gov't forms and 2 rolls of red tape

#obamainhistory Obama visited Ben Franklin in a dream and revealed all secrets of the Universe. But all Ben remembered was how to fly a kite

#obamainhistory When relaxing at home Obama switches to Queen's English

#obamainhistory After Obama rids US of thermonuclear weapons, his red button will control our thermostats

#obamainhistory Prometheus was punished for plagiarizing Obama

#obamainhistory King George's policies united patriotic Americans against big gov't tyranny. Obama follows royal tradition with same outcome

#obamainhistory Obama advised Neville Chamberlain to bow down and apologize to Hitler - and there hasn't been a war since.

#obamainhistory Hippocrates performed needless surgeries to get rich. Obama put an end to abuse and gives patients painkillers instead

#obamainhistory Ford coerced autoworkers to build gas guzzlers. Obama freed autoworkers, allowing them to build Chevy Volt

#obamainhistory Edison discovered alternating current (AC). Obama became first metrosexual/gay president (AC/DC)

#obamainhistory In 1962 three Americans received Nobel Prize for discovering DNA. In 2009 Obama received Nobel Prize for having better DNA

#obamainhistory Alexander Graham Bell's first phone call was to Obama.

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#obamainhistory Robin Hood stole from corrupt gov't and gave back to taxpayers. Obama steals from taxpayers and gives to corrupt gov't

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Red Square,

Not to be picky or anything, Comrade, but the discoverer of alternating current was none other than...... wait for it.... Nichola Tesla.

Not to worry, though. I'm sure Dear Leader has discovered many more " innovations" than Tesla ever did.

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Samuel Colt made all men equal. Dear Leader (PBUH) made all men equally dependant.

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His cancellation contribution to space travel was and is - historic.

moonhoax.jpg

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Krasnodar wrote:Red Square,

Not to be picky or anything, Comrade, but the discoverer of alternating current was none other than...... wait for it.... Nichola Tesla.

Not to worry, though. I'm sure Dear Leader has discovered many more " innovations" than Tesla ever did.

Damn, you're right. Edison was pushing direct current for power transmission and was ticked when AC became the standard. Oh, well.

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#obamainhistory When the Founding Fathers signed The Declaration of Independence, they borrowed a pen from Obama to do so

#obamainhistory Thomas Edison: Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Barack Obama: Genius is 99% government mandated

#obamainhistory Obama is like the Founding Fathers because like them he was born in a British colony

#ObamaInhistory When Washington crossed the Delaware. Obama was already on the other side waiting for him

#obamainhistory Prof Mohammed flew on a horse with a human head to Jerusalem Temple and renamed it Al Aqsa Mosque.The horse was named Barack

#obamainhistory Obama heard The Shot Heard 'round The World, 10 minutes before anybody else

#ObamInHistory When Moses reached the top of Mt. Sinai, Obama was already there with a tent pitched

#obamainhistory When Obama was sworn in he placed his hand on his Autobiography.

#obamainhistory the Israelites wandered the desert for 40 years because they never listened to Obama's directions

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He was the first man to cross the red [reed] sea, the waters parted before him and closed when he was on dry land.


 
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