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Beet Ice Cream

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Dear Comrades,

Does anyone know the date of the next festival with beet ice cream?? I ask not for myself but for my grandmother, a proud beet farmer, whose economic output is always greater than your intake even after having lost both arms and legs during the Great People's War, but yet she still farms equal with all but our great leader.

You may ask how she survived our great leader's plan to end the bourgeois doctors stranglehold on our economy. Simple: she has never visited one in her life even with all her medical ailments since none in village has car to drive her the 100 miles to nearest one because she knows only how to sacrifice without stealing from our great leader's booming national economy. Truly, a great example of our equality for the children.

Now keep in mind the beet ice cream isn't even for her since she has the diabeetes. She wishes only to see the smiling faces of the young orphans as they receive their festival ration of one teaspoon each. I hope it is soon, since due to her age she has been put on a one beet per week ration with double beet vodka ration. Which she loves because soon it will make room for the young and healthy, which will help our great leader achieve his plan of doubling our already booming national economy in five years time.

Speaking of which, due to a paperwork mix up, due to our planning department's ruthless efficiency, the young couple who will continue to farm her plot after she dies has already moved into the room provided for her by our Great Leader. Truly, we are all just ants in front of the great steamroller of progress.

Back to my original question: I know my grandmother isn't special and that everyone's grandmother is just as equal if not more so. So I ask: when will our grandmothers get to see the smiles of the orphans with their most generous beet ice cream rations?

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I can only off this alternative. It appears Dear Leaderess has restocked my local party grocery.

Corn chips made out of beets. Well, that speaks volumes for US agricultural policy.

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Comrade TP Data,

Welcome to the collective. Friday night is generally reserved for evaluations of the day's distillation efforts during long meetings behind the tractor shed. But your memo must have gone out too late. Re: your request - see encoded message below.

        Mystery item No. 1

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Comrade Data,

Ice Cream social will be on next Tuesday.


 
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