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Breaking: Van Jones, Green Jobs Czar PURGED

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He can claim he resigned due to a vicious campaign to smear him, but the truth is, it was his own damn mouth that condemned him.

Comrades, fellow travelers, let me say this again for all to hear and heed. Under no circumstance are you to ever admit to being a Communist.

Once you've exposed yourself and your agenda, your value to the Party is over. And we all know what happens to a useful idiot who outlives their usefulness.

He's lucky this isn't Soviet Russia where he would've been given a show trial, accused of being a counter revolutionary and herded off to a gulag never to be seen again.

As it is, in America, to be a disgraced former apparatchik means that he will die an alcoholic, all alone, ignored by his fellow travelers. His standing invitation to all the A-list parties will be revoked. His speaking engagements at universities will be canceled. Any book he writes from this day forth won't even make it to the Amazon top 500 list, let alone the NYT's best seller list. He may not even be able to find a subsidy publisher.

He will now join the ranks of forgotten Leftwing tools like Cindy Sheehan and Dan Rather. Roaming the celebrity wasteland desperately seeking just a drop of media water to slake their thirst for attention.

Buh bye Van, buh bye....enjoy your new found obscurity.


The fight is not over comrades. We must "Deal" with the other czars at Obama's hand.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote: He will now join the ranks of forgotten Leftwing tools like Cindy Sheehan and Dan Rather. Roaming the celebrity wasteland desperately seeking just a drop of media water to slake their thirst for attention.

Buh bye Van, buh bye....enjoy your new found obscurity.

Comrades, we must find our fallen hero gainful employement. While he could be a good left winger blogger for HuffPO, MoveOn, or Think Progress ... that's not really fitting since it is not really a direct "green" occupation.

Since he was not able to actually create any "Green Jobs" (with 30 billion $) we need to find him a "Green Job" that would be most fitting for his vast qualifications.

Wash DC "Sanitation Engineer"? .... Hmmm, close but not not a perfect fit.
Congressional Restroom "Attendant"? .... Getting closer to a worthy job.

I got it!

First a little background on the occupation.

Sumo wrestlers, being so large they cannot adequately reach to "become sanitary" after they .. uh ... number 2. So they need someone to help them "become sanitary"

Traditionally that role is assigned to the newest Junior Sumo wrestlers until they have more "seniority".

However, to further the cause of the Green "Movement" we must now start filling those jobs only with the most qualified candidates. So I propose a new eco-friendly green occupation for Van Jones ... SUMO ASS WIPER!



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Who is this Van Jones?

Never heard of him...

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majimekusaro,

vanjonessan,

you have brought shame with your arrogance,
for the sake of the partys™ dignity... do the right thing.


douzo, wakizashi.

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tangen,
emperor kakubakuhatsu
核爆発

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Infidel Castrate wrote: So I propose a new eco-friendly green occupation for Van Jones ... SUMO ASS WIPER!



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hai, soudesu,

i agree since vanjonessan is already familiar with "assholes".

atode,
emperor kakubakuhatsu

ps - i have good joke for you. sumo and rabbit go for poop in woods, sumo says 'you have trouble with poop sticking to fur?', rabbit says 'no', so sumo wipe butt with rabbit.
that's a good one you enjoy thank you.

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This reminds me of an old Soviet joke:

Forest animals got organized into a collective and one of their first projects was to build a warm communal outhouse with a glass window. But the next day the window was already broken. The animals put new glass in, but the following day it was broken again. Since the shards had rabbit fur on them, the animals caught the Rabbit and put him on trial by the collective.

"Are you guilty of breaking the glass twice?" they asked.

"Yes and no," the Rabbit said.

"How so?"

"Well, the first time it was like this. I walked into the outhouse when the Bear had just finished crapping. He asked me, 'Rabbit, are you by any chance shedding?' I said 'No.' He grabbed me, wiped his butt, and threw me out through the window."

"And the second time?"

"The second time I had just finished crapping when the Hedgehog came in. So I said, 'Are you by any chance shedding, Hedgehog?' He said 'No.' So I grabbed him, wiped my butt, and flew out through the window."


 
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