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California Raises Age Limit to Purchase Firearms

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AP - SACRAMENTO - In order to bypass the Equality Clause of the 14th Amendment, California's Democrats agreed to raise the age limit for gun purchasers to 120.

The law passed in the expectation that anyone who lives to that age will not be able to either see, lift, load, or aim a firearm, and more importantly, to injure an innocent rapist, murderer, antifa arsonists, hysterical Democrat, or MS -13 gang member intent on dismembering another juvenile who had the nerve to breathe.

After two months of the new law being in effect, statisticians at the LA Times have found that the state's new gun control law was 100% effective. No over 120 year-olds defended themselves successfully with guns, proving that civilian ownership of firearms make absolutely no sense and provide no benefit, but a danger to home invaders speaking Hispanic.

As an extension of California's Sanctuary Laws that preempt Federal immigration laws and border security policy, Governor Jerry Brown stopped eating green cheese to address the legislature.

Standing at the podium, Brown reminded the legislators about the effectiveness of the brilliant gun control law, the NEW YORK SAFE ACT, the Empire State's most popular law ever, passed by president, er, we mean, Governor Andrew Cuomo. Brown reminded the legislators of the astonishing record of assault rifles, otherwise known as varmint rifles, not having killed any children in the State of New York since the law's enactment in 2013.

That was five years ago, and this writer has checked his figures, as well as the dates, on his abacus.

More importantly, the SAFE ACT proved how effective gun control can be when implemented smartly and democratically in a consensus of two of America's citizens minus those who think the constitution has anything to do with anything. For example, New York's gun control law was passed as a "matter of necessity" after the killings in Newtown, Connecticut, where no children up to that time were killed since the invention of the "high powered" 22 caliber (.223) varmint rifle we know as the AR15.

In fact, the AR is so high powered that if one were to aim it at the ground, the bullet would come out in China and blow up an entire plate of Feng Shui!

So, to review the record and the math of the effectiveness of gun control laws, no children were killed in the state of New York since the ARs were, more of less, outlawed five years ago.

And no children were killed in the State of New York by ARs for the half century (or 50 years) prior to it, from the time the ARs were invented for the sole purpose of killing children or anyone Democrat.

Obviously, it was a matter of necessity to pass the SAFE ACT in four hours by arm-twisting New York's legislators in smoke-filled rooms, in the middle of the night, behind closed doors, and without debate and police and public input. President, er, Governor Cuomo called it "Democracy in Action," and the "Will of the People."

Interviewed by Diane Feinstain who sees eye-to-eye with the governor of New York and the governor of her own state, she said it was a wise move too, because Democracy is just as good as Socialism and the two are the same.

The governor added that people who know nothing about how guns operate, which is the breech, which is the muzzle, gun laws, the constitution, the history of self-defense and defense rights, have the right to lecture America about all these issues.

It is with this common wisdom in mind, that the Governor signed into law the 120-year-old age limit to purchase of a firearm, with the provision that the proposed age limit can be raised in the future.

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Thank Marx for these common-sense regulations, otherwise RethugliKKKans would roll back the clock to the 19th century when high-capacity assault pistols were sold out of unregulated catalogs—at reasonable prices to anyone who could afford one—with no permits, background checks, or waiting periods.

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$2.34 today will cover 10 rounds of .38 at Cheaper than Dirt.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:$2.34 today will cover 10 rounds of .38 at Cheaper than Dirt.

Ooooh, you know Cheaper Than Dirt? I thought I was the only one!

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Image We too are fans of Cheaper Than Dirt!

Image But your purchases at this capitalist enterprise (ptui! ptui!) can include only so-called "Survival Gear" (for those freezing nights when the beet field work ends too late to march transport the progs back to their huts very comfortable living arrangements.) Any other purchases - including - GASP! - firearms or ammunition will result in immediate denouncement of this criminal, counter-revolutionary act to Commissar Red Cube! We have ways of finding out, you know...

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Apparatchik Unkulturny wrote:Image We too are fans of Cheaper Than Dirt!

Image But your purchases at this capitalist enterprise (ptui! ptui!) can include only so-called "Survival Gear" (for those freezing nights when the beet field work ends too late to march transport the progs back to their huts very comfortable living arrangements.) Any other purchases - including - GASP! - firearms or ammunition will result in immediate denouncement of this criminal, counter-revolutionary act to Commissar Red Cube! We have ways of finding out, you know...

Indeed. That's what I was thinking. As one who is the blind mouthpiece faithful spokesperson, I only participate in korrekt State-Approved actions, and am surprised that you could even imply that I would perform anything close to a thoughtcrime.


 
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