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California has found that there are still leftover elements of the rich and capitalists running amok in the bordering states: Baja California, Arizona, Nevada, and Oregon. They plan to liberate each of these states from oppression and put new governments in place, helping the poor and redistributing all resources equally.

The soon-to-be liberated states don't know it yet, but California has already sent its agents to infiltrate their cities and towns. You may know them as your neighbors who moved from California. They will try to add some rules and change the place to look more like their home state. You must support their cause by placing the California flag in front of your house.

Harry Reid and others of the Distribution Party support this cause and are willing to help it come true.

It sounds like they may not stop at the bordering states. Let us know if you have seen these agents in your respective states as well.

Comrades, no worry as all of those in California who travel to other states with their ambitions of utopia will continue to champion the technology to keep their number of offspring small or none whatsoever. Whereas our glorious welcome mat to non progressives, south of the border, will continue to have large families making progressives outnumbered due to demographics. One wonders how the progressive political/genetic clout will reign in the future, after all as progressives; the evil, racist, greedy, white culture has become irrelevant

I think the agents you spoke about have already taken over large parts of Utah, New Mexico, and especially Colorado, which is on its way of becoming a new California.

Californian bear cavalry on the march across Sierra Nevada.

This expansion by its very nature dovetails nicely with plans to hire Comrade Bowie to act as a pseudo-politruk for legions of bewildered southwestern inhabitants totally unaware of the Kalifornication which is under way. Assaulting freedom and the imaginary lines once created by (once again dead white rich guys) unenlightened bureaucrats of days past, is the only solution to the nagging problem of jingoistic southwestern capitalists. Go East my friends and multiply. Run your fingers through the kitty which rightfully is all of ours to share.

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trashmouth wrote:Comrades, no worry as all of those in California who travel to other states with their ambitions of utopia will continue to champion the technology to keep their number of offspring small or none whatsoever. Whereas our glorious welcome mat to non progressives, south of the border, will continue to have large families making progressives outnumbered due to demographics. One wonders how the progressive political/genetic clout will reign in the future, after all as progressives; the evil, racist, greedy, white culture has become irrelevant

Tovarisch Trashmouth! Many Kalifornia Komrades suffer from what you have shown in picture form. Its medical term is known as TUCIS (Terminal Uranus-Cranium Inversion Syndrome).

Also there are many TUCIS infected Northeasterners, universally known in the South as GoddamYankee's who flee the wreckage they have created in their own state to the South and begin voting for the same type of miscreants and Useful Idiots ™ who made their home state unlivable. In North Carolina, there's a suburb called Cary. The locals say that Cary stands for Containment Area for Relocated Yankee's.

Note: The difference between a Yankee and a GoddamYankee is that a Yankee knows where to stay...

Careful Comrade, I'm a displaced New Yorker who doesn't live too far from you! But unlike carpetnaggers, baggers...whatever..I generally blend in. I don't like sweet tea, hate country music and don't get biscuits and gravy. I'm allergic to all the glorious flora and fauna..but damn it's cheap to live here. What I miss is a real diner and a goddamned bakery. But the county I live in is the moonshine capital of the world, and they're proud of it. Just a few months ago a neighbor got busted with a 55 gallon still. I was amazed at how many state troopers and ATF agents were there! One of my clients pays me in apple pie and peach shine, and it's the shizz for sure!

OksanaTheTerrible wrote:Careful Comrade, I'm a displaced New Yorker who doesn't live too far from you! But unlike carpetnaggers, baggers...whatever..I generally blend in. I don't like sweet tea, hate country music and don't get biscuits and gravy. I'm allergic to all the glorious flora and fauna..but damn it's cheap to live here. What I miss is a real diner and a goddamned bakery. But the county I live in is the moonshine capital of the world, and they're proud of it. Just a few months ago a neighbor got busted with a 55 gallon still. I was amazed at how many state troopers and ATF agents were there! One of my clients pays me in apple pie and peach shine, and it's the shizz for sure!

Tovarisch Oskana the Terrible! You are in good shape as long as you can substitute your beet ration for cheese grits!...And a "real diner"? What? You haven't been to a Waffle House? (AKA Awful House)

I had never seen a grit until I got to Parris Island! I thought it was some kind of Cream of Wheat. But then there was Krispy Kreme and I really dug those! Actually, I don't think there's anything I didn't eat when I was in boot camp. Then I got sent to NAS Memphis and got a real southern education! Like, those Jeff Foxworthy books weren't jokes! Especially going through Arkansas. When I got out of the Marines I stayed in the south. I like to visit up north but I'll never move there. Been to a Waffle House, but refuse to go to.Golden Corral lol. I've still never had grits made that I liked. Its like sausage gravy, I'll just say no.

Esteemed Komrad Oksana The Terrible,

I fear you may not be holding up your Party obligations. It is fine that you do not enjoy sausage gravy and are not a fan of grits. It is the duty of every Party Member to agitate for the removal of these foods from society because others (you know, the knuckle dragging Rethuglicans and Tea Baggers) do enjoy them. If the Party wanted them to be happy it would tell them once they arrived at the rail yard. Spread the misery or risk a severe denouncement!


We in the Alaskan People's Republic have our share of foreign invaders. Oregonians have been infesting Anchorage for years. They are all angling for a share of the "free money". The recent arrivals will soon pack up and go home as their under hardy predecessors did. You see the People's Representatives have spent all of the treasury and then some. Soon there will be no dispersal of the people's wealth. That quaint practice will be replaced with glorious taxes. Lots of them. For The Children ™ . It is rather satisfying to see this happen at the same time as the first scouts of the Californian invaders arrive.


Viva Misery! Spread it around!

Red Salmon

I am a mother of 3 and Marine, I specialize in spreading misery! But I must remember not to make the children too miserable because they are my retirement plan. I carefully dole it out. How do you think I got my name?

OksanaTheTerrible wrote:I am a mother of 3 and Marine, I specialize in spreading misery! But I must remember not to make the children too miserable because they are my retirement plan. I carefully dole it out. How do you think I got my name?

True story: My high school English teacher was a woman from Hungary named Oksana. She was a brutally demanding mistress who loved Shakespeare (not to cross-pollenate threads) and she spoke with a strong accent that was difficult to understand, especially when barking commands at us less civilized pupils who couldn't grasp the beauty of Bill's prose. She had piercing blue eyes that could see right through you if you were unfortunate enough to make eye contact with her. I trembled with fear at the first sight of your name here on the Cube, hoping we had not crossed paths again.

Sounds like a lovely woman! I also yell like a fishmonger, but you can generally understand me. Just never ever give me tequila and everything will be fine.

OksanaTheTerrible wrote:Sounds like a lovely woman! I also yell like a fishmonger, but you can generally understand me. [highlight=#ffff00]Just never ever give me tequila[/highlight] and everything will be fine.

There goes Tequila Night.

It makes me mean(er). Last time I drank tequila I "allegedly" punched a guy and then started a bar fight. I'm pretty sure I was being sexually harassed. I say go away, he doesn't listen. A well placed fist speaks volumes. Sooo beet vodka it is.