Comrades, I have terrible news! Despicable oil company imperialists are destroying the few true Utopian societies on this planet....

Investment U wrote: Oil: The State Department's Surprise Ally

Who knew that oil, once the pariah of the western world, would have such a positive role in the Obama Administration. Senator Clinton couldn't have asked for a better ally. Oil is bringing America's strongest enemies to their knees and reminding Europe why Russia isn't such a great neighbor after all.

As prices have recently touched lows of $33.20 per barrel, inexpensive oil has caused severe problems for Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Chavez just invited oil companies Chevron (NYSE: CVX), Royal Dutch Shell (NYSE: RDS.A) and Total S.A. (NYSE: TOT) back into the country. And Ahmadinejad is fighting re-election troubles caused by a government used to surpluses and excess cash.

Apparently inefficient state-run energy companies can't squeeze out profits like the professionals. And when they aren't screwing production up, Russia has proven that it can simultaneously show the world it's a bully – in addition to cutting off its income stream.

And things certainly don't seem to be getting any better for these three. OPEC just released its 2009 demand forecast that spells out a dismal outlook for the coming year. But it's not just low demand.

Oil inventories are at all time highs, “contango” opportunities abound, and OPEC hasn't cut production anywhere near to where it needs to be to level out prices. And even if it did, the “bad boys” mentioned above would still be pumping it out at full speed to meet their obligations.

Let's face it, oil could be down for much longer than they expect.

http://seekingalpha.com/article/115101- ... prise-ally

Now we know why Comrade Pelosi and the Party did not want to let the evil oil companies drill last summer. Now we know why the Party was so anxious to bail out the auto companies. The Party knew our overseas allies needed oil money we were paying them to keep their hopes and dreams for just societies alive! Unfortunately, the Bushhitler party has destroyed the economy, reducing the demand for oil and putting our friends at risk. Comrades, we must act now! Go out and find the biggest SUV or truck you can find, drive it around or just turn the engine on and let it run. We must drive up the price of oil, otherwise our allies will be forced to make deals with the evil corrupt Western oil companies that will deprive their people of the good Progressive life they deserve. Save Socialism! Waste Gasoline Now!

Comrade Opiate,

Gracias for this important news, Sister! I will go out in this ridiculous frigid weather and start up my car, with all haste! Don't worry, we good progressive comrades will get those prices up again, pronto! Have you had a chance to see the Obamessiah's new limo? It's a guzzling, beauty of a monster! Here you go, I found a picture for all the collective to see. Come on everyone, get with the program, NOW!

Comrade Che,

I am not a sister although I wish I were so I could identify more closely with the oppression of womyn in this patriarchal society (excuse me a second, my wife wants me to go to the store.)

OK, I'm back. Yes, thank you for the inspiring picture of Lord Obi's new wheels. I guess that bicycle we saw him riding around during the campaign is in the trunk. It is also big enough to provide a place for Uncle Joe to sleep it off in case he becomes a little too happy at one of the after parties.

Comrade Che,

I believe I saw this car already in a slightly different setting...

Yes I have all of my Vehicles Idling, including the lawn mower. I think I shall go trade my F-350 Diesel in for a F-550 Dualie, with a box on the back, No Diesel ether Big o'le 460CI Gas Power for me. Hello 6 miles per gallon Yes I want to help!!!

Besides the Obamessiah is going to give us all free gas and Mortgages,,,, Right? I did hear Right???

Comrade Red Square:

I must admit that this was one of my Troopers work. This act was not sanctioned or Approved by the Bureau of Kicking Doors at midnight.

The Trooper will be severely punished for the Use of the Peoples Explosives for personal purposes. And making UN-due noise, Lastly he will have to clean up the mess he left.

I offer to all Comrades effected, ones that were hurt by seeing a perfectly good Escalade blown up. or ones that were not effected but just decided to condemn my Troopers actions because they are general pains in the ass and must have to have something to whine about. My sincerest apologies, Ok not my Sincerest, but my most Humble, No no no. Oh ok Sorry, I won't let him do it again... I probally can not stop him, but I can scold him......Yea Berate him in front of the troops...Nahh I like this guy he tells good jokes..... Brings Donuts to meetings....

He will be Delt with!!!!!


Red Star
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter.
Defender of the faith.

Comrade Red Square! I am shocked and disgusted that YOU of all people would be propagating a video that portrays the murder and multilation of a woman in a "humorous" light. I see many, many hours of sensitivity training in your future and possibly having some of your doors kicked in by Comrade Red Star's thugs legal people! Shame on you, Comrade Square!

Just kidding, you're a Progressive, you're a made Party member. We never eat our own, except for poor Comrade Blagojevich.... but he was told that no matter what he does, just don't let the public find out what the Party is REALLY about. And he blew it. Oh well, have a Happy Obama Coronation Day!

Opiate I am feeling Tingles all over. Unfortunately They most likely are not resulting from the Moonbat Messiah but rather the 220 Volt Power line I just cut in to....

Comrade Red Star,

Our committment to our ideals forces us to be in a constant state of agitation over every single problem in life in order to maintain our sanctimonious self-image. This tends to make us a sullen and humorless lot so we must take our thrills where we can find them.

Opiate, yes, our self-image is all. I oscillate between smug and oily self-satisfaction and incandescent rage, which is of course all For the People(tm) or all for the Children(tm) or whatever the hell it all needs to be for.

I live by the first rule of a progressive: never, ever exert any effort unless it's showboating morality or stealing for your own personal profit. Think Meow on this one.

Red Star, I'm really liking your jack-booted thugs People's Progressive Coercive Social Workers. You know, you can really be proud of yourself. Just think what a great Progressive Leader of storm troopers social workers Janet Reno could have been if she had your dedication and intelligence instead of being an ugly blockheaded stubborn old Clinton puppet.

Hey Optiate!

I' confused! Should I be over-inflating my tires or running them low on air? Should I run just on rims or should I remove one tire or prehaps two? Please let me know.

Also, I feel just terrible about those oil countries in your article. Where should I send my donation?? I will donate at least as much to them as Al Gore, Obama and Joe Biden gave to charities before they started to run their respective presidential campaigns.

Maybe we should try to get celebrities together to form a large group and do another "We Are The World" type of singing marathon to raise money for them. Celebs like Bill Maher, The Dixie Chicks, Barbra Streisand, Rosie O'Donnell, Jackson Browne, James Taylor, Steven Spielberg etc, etc.....

Robot, I like that idea. Me? I'm going to leave my gas-powered leaf blower on 24/7. And I'm going to turn the heat up to 85 and leave the doors open.

Proletarian Robot I am so glad that you are on board for the SAVE THE THIRD WORLD SCUM BAGS, (S.T.W.S.B) for short. Good question on the tires, if you drop the pressure to say 15 PSI from 35 PSI you will achieve a sleight gain in fuel waste, but a better ride. Turn the radio up and you can pretend you are in a “Low Rider”. The Obamessiah was not correct on this one.

What you should do is put a trailer hitch on the back and tow a big tandem wheel U-haul”, toss some stuff in the back or just pick up some rocks, put the kids back, think you'll be wasting energy and making yourself happy at the same time.

Better yet everyone should go out and buy a peoples Tractor Trailer rig. You could help the party by hauling the tons of red tape and bureaucratic trash around 4 to 6 miles per gallon, hauling non-performing Proles to the Gulags the benefits to the collective are endless.

Commissar Theocritus, thank you for Kind words I do try my best. Sometimes it is an up hill battle working withroom temperature goons high strung Troopers. My work is never done so many doors so few hours. But we are being recognized as “legal people” Yes some respect. In a foot note theGoons Troopers were cutting the plate steel door Pupovich put on his Dacha, when brutally attacked by seagulls, I can confirm the “talent shitting” further investigation confirms the US Airliner that went down was a direct result of “contract talent shitting” job the geese did not fly in to the engines they in formation got in front of the aircraft and let go. We are still framing him, investigating.


Red Star
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter.
Defender of the faith.

P.S.

Celebs like Bill Maher, The DixieChicks, Barbra Streisand, Rosie O'Donnell, Jackson Browne, JamesTaylor, Steven Spielberg etc, etc..... Good idea but these room temperature Sheeple would be of little help to you.
They will come and eat all your food, but are generally lazy and not extremely bright, you would need to have proles follow them with "Pooper Scoopers" Child Proof any room they may be in, over all the brain dead people you mention will cost you more than what you will raise.

Ah, Red Star, I have heard many whining complaints about wanton destruction glowing reports about your eagerness in kicking down doors at midnight. I am in awe of your selfless dedication to your art, and of your control of your room-temperature goons highly trained troopers.

I'm thinking that you ought to write a book, say, <i>Goons for Progressives</i>. This could be the seminal book for an entire series, such as <i>Voter Fraud for Progressives</i> and <i>24/7 Regulation for Progressives</i>.

Are you interested in sharing your techniques?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah, Red Star, I have heard many whining complaints about wanton destruction glowing reports about your eagerness in kicking down doors at midnight. I am in awe of your selfless dedication to your art, and of your control of your room-temperature goons highly trained troopers.

I'm thinking that you ought to write a book, say, <i>Goons for Progressives</i>. This could be the seminal book for an entire series, such as <i>Voter Fraud for Progressives</i> and <i>24/7 Regulation for Progressives</i>.

Are you interested in sharing your techniques?

What a Glorious Idea Kind and Fair leader!!! I could offer an oratory in motivating and leading lowI.Q. Goons, Highly trained Troopers, with tips of how to inspire them. What to do when John Murtha attempts to join you're Troopers, "Mainly how to get rid of him". How to keep the highly trained Troopers from shooting Henry Waxman on sight because they thought he was a large Vampire Bat, or he just scared the hell out of them. What protection from insanity when they see Nanski in her pajamas. And what Bio Hazard equipment to wear when confronting MTB, errrr MTE..

Yes yes…this could work, how to apply Six Sigma business management strategy to Kicking doors at midnight…..Glorious….Speaking engagements, shaving cream commercials….


Red Star
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter.
Defender of the faith.

Proletarian Robot wrote:Hey Optiate!

I' confused! Should I be over-inflating my tires or running them low on air? Should I run just on rims or should I remove one tire or prehaps two? Please let me know.

Also, I feel just terrible about those oil countries in your article. Where should I send my donation?? I will donate at least as much to them as Al Gore, Obama and Joe Biden gave to charities before they started to run their respective presidential campaigns.

Maybe we should try to get celebrities together to form a large group and do another "We Are The World" type of singing marathon to raise money for them. Celebs like Bill Maher, The Dixie Chicks, Barbra Streisand, Rosie O'Donnell, Jackson Browne, James Taylor, Steven Spielberg etc, etc.....

Comrade Robot, there are at least as many ways for people to waste gasoline as there are for politicians to waste money. Well, maybe not quite that many, but there are a lot. Removing wheels from a vehicle will increase gasoline wastage but running such a vehicle tends to generate a sound not unlike Babs Streisand having a nightmare that Bush was re-elected. This is a justifiable nuisance as long as I am not in the area at the time. Be creative. Remember, the end justifies the means so do not hestitate to cause trouble and/or damage as long as your intentions are good.

I like your idea about the donations. Maybe we should begin a matching fund based on the concept. All the comrades in the People's Cube will be ordered to participate, using the contributions of the Party leaders you cited as a benchmark. Zero times any number is still zero but it is the thought that counts, isn't it?

You have another brilliant idea with the televised fund raiser. I'm sure all politically committed celebrities will be happy to appear as long as we pay expenses and they don't have to donate any of their own money. Perhaps we can call it "Passing Gas for Socialism." Sounds catchy, eh?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Robot, I like that idea. Me? I'm going to leave my gas-powered leaf blower on 24/7. And I'm going to turn the heat up to 85 and leave the doors open.

Theocritus, your creative brilliance is exceeded only by your committment to socialism. Or vice versa. I would also suggest a vandalism campaign to destroy solar panels and windmills so that these conspiracies against our progressive friends will be terminated and the perpetrators will be forced to resume using the People's fuels (it not only helps the oppressed, it's good fun!)

You know, the best thing about being a Progressive is that our lack of continuity and consistency is a feature, not a drawback. We are not bounded by reason or logic, just raw emotion; the only justification we need is the presumed depth of our feelings. Thinking is hard work but feeling is easy, and we need not be embarrassed when we cause destruction and damage because we were only trying to help. Ah, I feel so self-satisified now. Don't you have a lawnmower you could get running also?

Opiate wrote:We are not bounded by reason or logic, just raw emotion; the only justification we need is the presumed depth of our feelings. Thinking is hard work but feeling is easy, and we need not be embarrassed when we cause destruction and damage because we were only trying to help. Ah, I feel so self-satisified now

Ah, dear Opiate, I see that we are in agreement. I never think because it makes my head hurt. And if I thought then I'd have to wonder if I'm consistent and perish that thought. So what if I contradict myself? I am large, as the French king said. For Progressivism is royalty by other means.

Once I had a thought and I wondered if it cast a less-than-flattering light on me and so I chased it right out of my head, running, screaming like a little girl, toward all those feelings, which never have to be justified.

Red Star, I certainly understand the temptation of your room-temperature goons highly trained and seasoned shock police to shoot Waxman thinking he is a vampire bat, but let's remember that Progressives always need some sort of Doomsday Weapon. I'll let you in on a secret. So many times Our Many Titted Empress was at the Rancho de Rio Grande and drinking her virgins' blood Bloody Marys and although I had a five-pound bottle of coumadin I did <i>not</i> put it in her drinks. I know that if I had, she'd have shit herself to death but we need our Empress, Red Star, <i>pour encourager les autres</i>.

The proles have to be afraid of something. Hence my impaling stakes. Hence our MTE. Hence the Waxman vampire bat.

Opiate of the People wrote:Comrade Che,

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]I am not a sister [/HIGHLIGHT]although I wish I were so I could identify more closely with the oppression of womyn in this patriarchal society (excuse me a second, my wife wants me to go to the store.)

OK, I'm back. Yes, thank you for the inspiring picture of Lord Obi's new wheels. I guess that bicycle we saw him riding around during the campaign is in the trunk. It is also big enough to provide a place for Uncle Joe to sleep it off in case he becomes a little too happy at one of the after parties.

Comrade Opiate,

Please accept my humble apologies for my error, Sir! Sometimes it is hard to discern a comrade's sexual persuasion by their avatar? As Commissar Theo would say, The Party(tm)
has no distinctions with regards to male/female.

By Uncle Joe, I assume that you mean Biden? The Obamessiah will probably just throw a bottle in the trunk with the drunkard...errr...I mean distinguished VP. I have it on good authority that Dover Joe will be the Offical PartyAnimal...errr damn, I meant to say, Host for the new Administration! That guarantees much merriment for all! (I can't wait for an invite!)

Uncle Joseph Stalin (may he always be praised) will, of course, be watching the festivities, most likely incognito!

As for the Obamessiah's bicycle, he will probably give it to charity, unless he plans to ride down the halls of the Red White House with Malia and Sasha.

Yes, the bicycle will be used in the White House. I recall the egregious Nancy Reagan searching for words as she revealed that James Earl Carter and his lovely bride, and really his better half, allowed Amy to roller skate on the parquet, ruining it.

Then Amy got arrested outside the South African embassy, along with Mary of Peter, Paul and Mary, as I recall. Such good company. It's too bad that DC doesn't have the death penalty for it ought to have been levied against anyone who sang, "Puff the Magic Dragon." Or "Obama the Magic Negro."