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Chairman Zero's World Tour *snif* so moving!

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The small-minded, home-schooled nincompoops of the *ptui* right have mirepresented Chairman Obama (sound of the goosehorn, the tinkledeemer, the flatulobladder, the sick moose, and you MUST BOW DOWN!)'s World Groveling Tourtm!

Allow our Re-Education Department clarify your errors, you worshippers of greed.

--The DVD affair: His O'liness was making the clearest of statements: STANDARDIZATION. We have been separated from our revolutionary brethren far too long by different DVD zones. We want to take centralization One Step Further, so that we may enjoy recorded highly edifying progressive documentaries on British Cheese while they lower equalize their IQs to our level with Murphy Brown reruns!

--The Russian Button: this message was so subtle, it slipped right past you Rush-loving dolts. But allow me to spell it out for you: WE NEED MORE RUSSIAN TEACHERS. That way we may teach the writings of Lenin and Stalin in their original language, and nothing gets lost in translation.

And now, I strongly feel the need to clarify this most egregious accusation against our most infallible and indubitably Kenyan American Chairman, as laid out by this lucre-tainted propagandist:

Barry O to visit his uncle's concentration camp

Let me explain...he was NOT apologizing for barbecuing Nazis. That is never a crime. He was apologizing for the collateral damage inflicted on the Weimar-Republic-era KPD and SPD Sozis that were deep in hiding among the populace, driven underground by the Far Right. Their loss was truly one of the most grievous of German tragedies.

I will now step down and let my revolutionary Cubist brethren throw in their clarifications of Chairman Zero's Happy Hopping Across the World.


 
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