Image

Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day Provides Intelligence Bonanza

User avatar
The fast-food chain was overrun on Wednesday by men, women and children wanting chicken sandwiches, cross-cut fries -- and to voice their support for the company that finds itself under fire for taking a position against same-sex marriage.

What was not known at the time is that an authorized intelligence gathering operation was also set up by the Party and quickly put into action to infiltrate the crowds with the express purpose to gather real-time actionable counter-intelligence data. Loyal party members were instructed to blend in to the crowds, secretly record conversations and to bag as much intelligence as they could. The intelligence that was gathered has been a virtual treasure trove and the data that was gathered will keep Party intelligence experts busy for years.

Supporters-of-Chick-fil-A-008.jpg
Loyal Party Member "MS X" Bags Some Intelligence For Future Examination

The gathered intelligence was brought back to Party headquarters where experts then proceeded to conduct a deep and thorough analysis of the data. There was however a slight downside to the roaring success of this counter-intelligence operation and it was reflected by some in the Party's intelligence community. "Even though this was as widely successful as one could hope", an unnamed Party intelligence expert stated, "It only just whets your appetite and really makes you hungry for more later".

chick fil a.jpg
Intelligence Data Condition After The Initial Analysis By Hungry Party Experts

User avatar
Comrade, it is my considered opinion that we must [urp] revisit this situaiton as soon as possible as I detect [burp] the possibility that spices produced by oppressed non-union workers were used in the preparation of this highly offensive foodstuff. Oh, and Comrade Gore wishes to know if they serve steak - he may wish to target them to for a protest for violating climate change protocols. Do you know if there is a good masseuse in the area?

User avatar
Rumors abound that a Canadian operation will soon be opened under the name
Chick-Fil-eh?

User avatar
General Confusion, I can only assume that you refer to an INTELLIGENCE operation launched from Canadia, since - being so much more enlightened than the American masses - I'm certain that they would never allow this hateful company that's so filled with hate into their country, eh?

I will be on the lookout for maple leaves and hockey players disguised as chickens down here in the USSA - thanks for the tip! I shall aid them however possible.


User avatar
Where is PETA? Who else can speak for the chickens?
In a recent pole the chickens voted for representation from SEIU!

G C

Chickens can only vote in Chicagoprospekt. Bears there very upset at attention to poultry and are expected to stage uprising in their sportslabor camp. When questioned about this by Peoples Artistic Director of Windycity Street Ballet, Emanuel, Bears responded with Kollective "Cluck you!".

Comrade General, please refer this suggestion to your staff. Party should initiate whisper campaign among dacha dwellers on Chicagogoldcoast. Commissar Palin is planning to launch new Caribou B Que franchise chain across the street from Harpo's to be operated like fascist private club. Those desiring to dine al-aska must send political resume's and Komsomol records to maitre d' to see if they qualify for admission. Any Libtards attempting to gain entrance will be repelled by bouncers armed with specially modified semi-auto rifles in 375 H&H and their heads mounted as trophies over the bar. People's Direktor of Propaganda should be delighted and approve in anticipation of weeping and wetting of pants all the way to Winnetka.

User avatar
Those KKKonservatives seem to have consumed Comrade Red Rooster!

User avatar
Delicious victuals such as these must remain the sustenance of Party leaders only, lest the proles develop a false consciousness and become enamored of the running dogs' tempting fare. Rice is the food of the worker, but the Inner Circle must be allowed to sample these in order to know the enemy better. We're sending Ieng Sary out to the Angkor Wat CFA drive-thru now.

User avatar
Comrade Pistov,

Followed your suggestion as written. My newly assigned Aide, Major Domo,
asks if the .375 H&H would have sufficient power to penetrate the thick skulls of the targets. He suggests a .458 Magnum might be a viable alternate.
Your suggestion, your choice!

User avatar
COMRADES!

The intelligence brought back has yielded clues that Chick-fil-A may really be a secret NAZI front organization that believes in the superiority of the ARYAN race!!!!!

One of the menu items that was brought back to our headquarters was the following:

A Banana Pudding Milkshake that the company claimed in the following:

The milkshake is made with fresh bananas, real Nilla® wafers, a splash of vanilla, and is hand-spun with Chick-fil-A's popular "home-style" Icedream®

BananaPudding.jpg

Those aren't just "Nilla" wafers sitting on the side there, those are VANILLA wafers as in pure white aryan racial purity over the so called mongrel races!!!! We do realize that what may be obvious to us in the Party that this is a racist dog whistle by Chick-fil-A but to others it might not be so apparent and that further proof is still required that will prove this connection beyond a shadow of a doubt.

So rest assured. We have dispatched another infiltration operation to bring back some more of this horrid milk-shake concoction back to party headquarters for further analysis as the first batch has already been used up during the first examination.

We will get to the bottom of this no matter how many trips we have to take into that den of bigotry and hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Psssssst: Inner Party Member Opiate: Don't tell Pinkie about this delicious racket we've got going on here, I mean one of these heavenly milk shakes is the last thing that old thunder thighs needs, if you know what I mean.

User avatar
Great News Comrades!

Your tasty tireless undercover efforts have surfaced proof positive evidence that will exonerate our heroic purposeful hetero defender of the LGBTXYZ community... Adam Smith.
All you HATERS be warned - you can't hide your evil from the collective!

adamsmithchickfiladefense.jpg
(Greedy 1% capitalist pig forces hired slave into hate crimes in an attempt to corner the chicken market. - AP)

User avatar
Comrade CSW,

I overheard this from CFA employees talking, this will take a concentrated effort on your part. One of one thousand drink containers has a swastika on the inside of the cup at the base. It only appears after some liquid has been added.

You and your truth squad will have to obtain these horrid items and dispose of the liquid by pouring it out or drinking it to confirm the authenticity of this statement.

It will be long, exhausting research, but it is possible. Good Luck!


User avatar
Comrades, Call me anything but late to get in line at the welfare office, but I have no idea who this Chic-fil-a is or what they/she/he/it said, but as a lesbian trapped in a man's body I am offended and I will vow to never support them in they're homophobic whatever they're doing!


 
POST REPLY