Comrades, by entering this thread, provided of course that your Party dues are paid and up to date (and I will know comrades, by way of my subsidy report), then you will be automatically covered by....


As you know, the past few weeks our all knowing, all caring senators and representatives have been holding hearings and "town hall meetings" all over the country in regard to the health care "reform" plans they are "considering." Actually, they do this because they care more than you, and because they are better informed than you (for they know that being informed has nothing to do with actually reading a bill, for they are informed from on high). They do this as a service since they have already stated that one way or another, they are going to stuff this down our throats. Yet they have been met by irate mobs that have clearly been organized by right wing extremists, for you don't see much in the way of Acorn there do you?

Since you are or no doubt wish to be a mobster, it's time you get a mobster name.

My choice is.....

<center><img src="https://www.thepinkpaw.com/images/Blog/ ... B>Samantha "The Maltese" Spade</B></center>

Eggslent choice Comrade Ivana Tinkle.... and I must admit that I admire the audacity you show to use a picture I have used before. Most progressive!

BTW...for all my comrades. While you are at it, I also recommend that you follow in my paw prints and turn yourself in to [email protected]. After all, these progressives have enough to do in their efforts to turn this country into a third world power without wasting valuable time keeping track of all of us radical right wing conservatives. I know I felt better after I turned myself in as an enemy.

I'd be happy to turn myself in knowing that many of the people's workers will be hired to sort through the e-mails.

The prospect of all the newly hired counselors ready to assist the elderly in their quest for death has me giddy with joy. Sign me up!

A new hotline for Obamacare:

Suicide Promotion Hotline 1-800-OBAMAPU or FU

Can I be Melvin the Frustrated Monkey? Either that or "Tim."

By the Way, Ivana...I like the change to your avatar...as a person easily distracted by shiny things and sudden movements, I found the waving arms distracting.

Colonel "Happy Switch" 7.62 (happy switch is slang for the selector on a select fire weapon that makes it go from semi auto to full auto or burst)

Oooo! Good one Colonel! I was trying to think of some name like that, but failed.

Elliott "The Iron Foot" (last name, which I want to keep secret). I'm a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and I'm really good with my feet.

I'm keeping Vlad the Impaler. What's better than that?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Oooo! Good one Colonel! I was trying to think of some name like that, but failed.

It's what I get for chillin' with cats. :p

Hmmm Marshall "Burstfire" Pupovich or Marshall "Beltfed" Pupovich, or perhaps Marshall "Obyrez" Pupovich (google it, is a mosin nagant sawed down to very small size to hide under an overcoat, widely used by partizans during WWII).

When I worked for a local mafia crew repairing video poker machines, arcade games and jukeboxes the "boys" called me "The Mechanic".

But the boss called me by other names "Hey Asshole go fix that fuggin' vending machine" or "Hey dumbfuck, I ain't payin' you to stand around, get to fuggin' work." Yeah, he was a funny guy alright.

I think I like "The Mechanic" better.

Commissar Red Star, Yes a good Mob Name......Original.....

ohhhh thats my name, Come here you brainless how dare yo!!! (sounds of punching, breaking glass, stop running, Shoot the little Sh**)

I apologize for that little display...

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Ivan Betinov wrote:Can I be Melvin the Frustrated Monkey? Either that or "Tim."

Comrade Brain in a jar, I have been beating my brain all day.....er....excuse me, I couldn't help that. Any way, I was thinking today that somehow those names you came up with just don't seem to fit as a good mob name. So why not go with the obvious? Ivan "The Brain" or even Ivan "The Organ"?

Commissar, Vlad the Impaler is a natural. I think I will stick with Rabid Dog.... I had considered Mad Dog, but that's been done to death. I heard Sean Hannity today following my example.... had everyone choose a mob name who called into his show today.

I know this is presumptuous, but while I was looking for a name for myself, I came up with one, but then I thought, it wouldn't be fair to keep the name for myself when it really is more fitting for Bruno: Fruita the Loopy Hooker

Pup, have you ever been around a frustrated monkey?

Er.... no, but can I assume it looks like the Obama has lately?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Er.... no, but can I assume it looks like the Obama has lately?

Oooooh. Hhahahahaha. . .

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Commissar, Vlad the Impaler is a natural. I think I will stick with Rabid Dog.... I had considered Mad Dog, but that's been done to death. I heard Sean Hannity today following my example.... had everyone choose a mob name who called into his show today.

Er, the Pupperina?

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Commissar, Vlad the Impaler is a natural. I think I will stick with Rabid Dog.... I had considered Mad Dog, but that's been done to death. I heard Sean Hannity today following my example.... had everyone choose a mob name who called into his show today.

Er, the Pupperina?

Excellent choice Comrade General. I told the Marshall that letting them take pictures after he paid the $1000 fee for the little romp was unwise. But there we go. And now we all know.

Since Pupperina is of high station, it should be Princess Pupperina, yes?

In fact, I have just the T-shirt for him to wear when chillin' being modeled by one our conscripts who has come to see the wise ways of the feline.

Ivana Tinkle wrote:<center><img src="https://www.thepinkpaw.com/images/Blog/ ... B>Samantha "The Maltese" Spade</B></center>

Welcome to the collective Comrade Ivana Tinkle. I have already been following your loyalty to the party. I foresee a great future for you.

I'm thinking MACHINE GUN KITTY. Thoughts Comrades?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I'm keeping Vlad the Impaler. What's better than that?

Indeed Commissar, how can one improve perfection!

As a tide raises all boats, you make the less fortunate more equal to one another.

Dear Lenin General Cat.... don't you ever tire of using that same old tired photoshopped picture? Of course I know a cat brain has it's limitations, far more than can be described in a blog, but really. Don't imagine your day is not coming.... every dog has his day as you know. Of course you do have one thing going for you....it is very very near impossible to embarrass a cat-beast given it's natural inborn laughable traits.

Leninka wrote:Fruita the Loopy Hooker

I told Bruno of his mob name and after I 'splained it to him he was delirious with delight, clapping his hands with glee. "Theocritus, does that mean that I get fresh fruit for my headdress?

Pupovich, admit it. You're outnumbered by the cat beasts. As I pound my keyboard for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm) I have two of the cat-beasts here, and I'm quite fond of them. If I had curs, they'd be growling or barking or humping my leg or shitting. And not talent shitting, but just shitting. So much for the dog beasts.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Dear Lenin General Cat.... don't you ever tire of using that same old tired photoshopped picture? Of course I know a cat brain has it's limitations, far more than can be described in a blog, but really. Don't imagine your day is not coming.... every dog has his day as you know. Of course you do have one thing going for you....it is very very near impossible to embarrass a cat-beast given it's natural inborn laughable traits.

Marshal, you revert to specie-ism like a dog chases a bone (sorry, like a cat chasing catnip). You must know that I find that picture adorable, and it captures your feminine side, which the collective rarely sees.

The truth is, I admire you greatly, and must confess that when I saw your towering figure in the opening graphic, I ran to the corner, hunched my back and hissed involuntarily. Most impressive. You could shake down both sides of the street without panting at all!

I fondly remember the nights we worked both sides of the street together, as young collectivists, the ying and yang of the Party. Back in the days when 'mobile phone' was a payphone we ran over with the Che-vy! You went into the entertainment and hospitality industry, while I followed the more austere path of the soldier.

But forgive an old General's ramblings. My gangsta handle is KLAWZ.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

Leninka wrote:Fruita the Loopy Hooker

I told Bruno of his mob name and after I 'splained it to him he was delirious with delight, clapping his hands with glee. "Theocritus, does that mean that I get fresh fruit for my headdress?

Is there no room for Bruno's headdress in the refrigerator? How about wax fruit, or is that offensive? It must become uncomfortable to be around him when his fruit deteriorates and becomes rancid. The image of a decaying headdress festooned with flies and maggots is unsettling. There must be a government agency to monitor fruit headdress quality and distribution!

Snoogie "The Dribbler" Woogums has a nice ring to it methinks.

I'm also partial to Snoogie "The Sniveler" Woogums, now that has a real fine proggie feel to it.

The collectives thoughts on the right Mob moniker for this humble prole?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, admit it. You're outnumbered by the cat beasts.

This is a fact beyond dispute Commissar. As we all know, cat beasts breed (and interbreed) like....well... like cats in heat. Evolution and survival of the horniest has led to the average duration between cat-beast heat cycles to drop to an average of 3 days between cycles. This is a frightful trend Commissar. In fact, we have proof that the Alley-Cata terrorist group considers mass breeding as part of their plan for world domination, all this while the more intellectual dog class in the west in particular, tries to keep our population at it's current level so as not to be a burden on the total carbon pawprint in order to reduce the risk of global climate change. We do this For the Children™, always For the Children™.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, admit it. You're outnumbered by the cat beasts.

This is a fact beyond dispute Commissar. As we all know, cat beasts breed (and interbreed) like....well... like cats in heat. Evolution and survival of the horniest has led to the average duration between cat-beast heat cycles to drop to an average of 3 days between cycles. This is a frightful trend Commissar. In fact, we have proof that the Alley-Cata terrorist group considers mass breeding as part of their plan for world domination, all this while the more intellectual dog class in the west in particular, tries to keep our population at it's current level so as not to be a burden on the total carbon pawprint in order to reduce the risk of global climate change. We do this For the Children™, always For the Children™.

My Dearest Marshall,

While I certainly hold you in the most highest regard, (I really do have a soft spot for Acadiana) I must remind you that DOGS are the ones who go about humping human legs, feet, stuffed toys and I regret to say, a mentally deficient cat or two. So please be careful when discussing the breeding habits of others.

And, Marshall, let me remind you of the stench.

When a cat doesn't like you, it goes away. When a dog doesn't like you, it tries to bite you; and the self-important barking. The barking. The barking.

Dogs leave their ordure on the top of the ground, much like Nansky Awk Awk Eek Eek Tookie Tookie Peloski. Cats bury theirs.

<center></center>

All right, all right--don't get pissed. It's a <i>cartoon</i>.

Reiuxcat wrote:My Dearest Marshall,

While I certainly hold you in the most highest regard, (I really do have a soft spot for Acadiana) I must remind you that DOGS are the ones who go about humping human legs, feet, stuffed toys and I regret to say, a mentally deficient cat or two. So please be careful when discussing the breeding habits of others.

Well said, comrade cat...

Commissar Theocritus, I love the cartoon! No apologies necessary, he's just hitting back twice as hard!

Too bad the dog wasn't a chihuahua. Once, 25 years ago, I was taking my mother to visit her aunt--bossy, intolerable, but the best of the lot--who was living with Mom's first cousin--loud, drunk, shiftless, lazy, stinking and slatternly. Other than that, a sterling character. She had two chihuahuas, Puggy and Cheetah. Puggy was a male dog who spent 24 hours barking at me, backed up on his little legs, his eyes bugged out. 24/7. 60/60/24/7/365.25/100/10 yapping.

Finally it decided to forgive me for existing and came up to be petted. I started strangling it in cold blood, completely without malice, as a doctor excises a tumor. The dog tried to swallow but couldn't. I was choking it. It tried to breathe, but couldn't. I was choking it.

Then the cousin came out and saw me strangling her dog. I let go without the slightest embarrassment and the dog dropped onto its belly, gasped, and started yapping. Again. All day, all night.

That was the first time that cousin had ever not been late.

The only time that I have ever been in a cold rage. That made me understand a cold rage.

Reiuxcat wrote:I must remind you that DOGS are the ones who go about humping human legs, feet, stuffed toys and I regret to say, a mentally deficient cat or two. So please be careful when discussing the breeding habits of others.

Where do you get such ridiculous and scandalous accusations?

Good one, Pupovich.

Dizty the Skank


I've got one in bed, one at the front door, one at the back door and one on the phone.

Give a dog an inch, it takes a beer...and then another one, and another one, and another one...


Mind you, these are the more promising pooches...very sad indeed.

As I write Hobbes, brother to my other cat Calvin, is taking over the chair arm, purring aggressively, and filling the air with hair. Because that's his job.

Our main cat, Mittens, is the primary hair giver at a very mellow 18 years of age. Move over necrovoters, we plan to register her for the 2010 election! Scooter, our backup cat, is the whizzer and scratcher. Together, they have built a dynasty of comfort and leisure known to them as their palace, which was redistributed to them (previously known as our residence). Their support staff, and all done for them, is only due them for their supreme catness.

You own a dog. A cat has staff.

Getting rather Fluffy in here dontcha think....

I need to come up with a Mob name... hmmmm....

Rocko Da Cocko?
Fowl Frank Fetters?
GangBang-A-Doodle?
Peckery Bogart?
Rankin Peck Rooster?
Cockley Crop Callahan?

Roosta.

I am most disturbed to see how much Commissar Theocritus, General Cat. and so many others here. share their love, admiration, and blind devotion to cat beasts with none other but Rush Limbaugh!

Rush Da Hut Limbaugh!!!! Great Stalin! What is this collective coming to! I am ashamed for The Party(TM).

My beak hangs in mourning over this sad, sad, day of realization that General Cat and Commissar Theocritus, my dear comrade, have succumbed to kapitalist blind devotion!

Rush DA HUT Limbaugh... what shame comrades, what a shame...

I ought not like cats. They're independent things and we Progs hate independent thinking. When I have an independent thought I high-tail it over to--wait for it--Jiffi-Lobo. Dogs on the other hand are very Prog. They're pack animals.

Watch it Commissar! My roosta goons are onto your dog playa hating ways....

Commissar Theocritus unwittingly reveals his close association with Rush Limbaugh with his defense of cats. For cat beasts are beyond a doubt the most progressive and socialist species outside Chicago and San Francisco. They refuse to be useful, do any thing of worth, and expect you to pay for them, feed them, rub their belly, and Lenin knows what else a cat-beast lover will do. On the other hand, it takes real work for a dog to steer the progressive route such as I have. A dog by nature, does his best to earn his keep, strives to learn and achieve all their lives, and only seeks some comfort from his friend, not his "owner" or "servant" such as the cat beast.

Yet we have this "puzzle." If the cat beast is indeed the progressive animal species, then why does the Uber conservative fascist Rush Limbaugh loves cat beasts? I think the answer is clear! Such radical conservatives like to have the very image of their enemy as a "pet." So what does that say about our comrades here who also prefer the cat beast? Hmmmmm? I think the answer is clear Comrades.

Absolutely Marshal! It couldn't be clearer, and just in case it's not, we're ready to roll....

Pupovich, the dog is a pack animal. All good progs are pack animals. We don't think for ourselves--why have Jiffi-Lobo if we think? It's to make sure that we cannot think. The cat on the other hand graces you with its attention, and likes you, if it does, not because you're the alpha male, but because it decides to.

And the dog is the true prog. It shits on other people's yards.

Oh yeah! Well.. let me tell you something Commissar, cats shit in your houseplants, in discreet corners where you may not find it for months, in your laundry basket! Yes, that's right, CAT'S SHIT IN YOUR LAUNDRY BASKET!

Could it be any clearer than that?

And yes, they shit in other people's yards, barns, sheds, and nooks and cranny's where a dog respectfully never goes.

Hmmmmmmmph!

My cats are well behaved and do not do that. At all. But then that means that my cats aren't Prog cats, which shit on <i>everything</i>. We could describe a Prog using endless phrases but the diagnosis is simple: a prog shits on everything.

Red Rooster wrote:Absolutely Marshal! It couldn't be clearer, and just in case it's not, we're ready to roll....

Well done Comrade! I can see you are going to go a long way in the Party!

Commissar Theocritus wrote: And the dog is the true prog. It shits on other people's yards.

Of course! I do not deny this at all! The difference is clear....it is we dogs who were at the burning barricades in the Motherland, just as it is we working progressive dogs that made the achievement of the World of Next Tuesday possible!

All the while while cats are giving aid and comfort to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, promotes elitist attitudes by apparently betting on the stock market value of Talent Shitting is going to make them rich one day by hiding their "loot" underground, or inside the houses of people who actually spend some of their subsidy on buying "dirt" for their cat, when that money could be better spent by the Party!

Pupovich, I think that you need to organize a Las Vegas style review of talent-shitting animals. Think of the money you could make! Start off with talent-shitting pigeons. And then get talent-shitting cats, which shit on dirty underwear. Talent-shitting dogs, which shit right where you want to put your foot.

And for a finale, we can have His O'liness to talent-shitting on the Constitution.

It would be a wow for the progs.

The Shit-Capades! Progs on Ice!

INGSOCFACE?


I'm here to join the union and rip shirts off well dressed, old, nazi's that were organized by the insurance companies when they show up in public.

Looks like I may have to reeducate a few of you personally.

General! Brilliant! The Shit-Capades! Progs on Ice! Brilliant!

But we do have to be careful not to infringe on the Congressional franchise. For the last few years Congress has had the notion that it has the exclusive right to shit on everything that it sees.

Why, Nansky even is getting $220 million of new jets, which she can use to fly all over America, and dung on everything. This will make Our Many Titted Empress's times at the Rancho seem sterile by comparison.