Officials in the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) have taken extraordinary measures to protect US President Barack Obama ahead of his visit.

In their effort to provide maximum security in the run-up to his visit on Friday, they have removed coconuts which may fall on his head from trees.

All coconuts around the city's Gandhi museum have now been cut down, an official told the BBC


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I sleep easy knowing that Great Leader will be safe from the big nuts on his, much deserved, ridiculous junket Official Visit to the land of mystery and overcopulation.

What's 2 million...oops...20 ...dang.....$200 Million per day compared to...ummm.

Don't worry. We can print more!

Laika the Space Dog wrote:What's 2 million...oops...20 ...dang.....$200 Million per day compared to...ummm.

Don't worry. We can print more!

And so we did, today... [highlight=#ffffff]600 of billio[/highlight]ns. (a little walking around money)

Comrades,

Another idea would have been to keep him away for Coconut trees. But, on the other hand, this can be a food offering for the sacred monkeys, sacred cows or sacred insects, depending on what part of Hindia you are in. People are not in any sacred group, so they are S. O. L.

I bet Obama goes solo on this trip.....I hear that India doesn't have any lobster.

Comrade Krasnodar,

You are making the funny!

With a squadron of planes, they may have had a little extra room for Lobster, clothing, shoes, socks, food, champagne, whiskey, vodka, beets, potatoes, green beans, corn, etc. etc.

That is why it costs $200 million a day, comrades! Dear Leader must be there in style, you know. Coconut removers must be compensated well.

https://visiontoamerica.org/story/us-to ... visit.html

Obama will not start his trip until the Government of India verifies that all coconuts have, in fact, been removed . Some are reported still littering isolated beaches....


But they'll soon be gone, thanks to recent technological advancements in coconut gathering.

What about the limes?

Laika the Space Dog wrote:What about the limes?

You hit de mind wid de coconut; instant Jiffy Lobo™,
Hit de mind wid de coconut and you wont feel bitter,
Hit de mind wid de coconut, let de dead vote,
Hit de mind wid de coconut, press conference in de morning."

... Where is Groucho?

Comrades, no one wants to be hit on the head with a coconut, least of all our Dear Glorious Leader. What would happen to us if he were laid up for a couple of weeks nursing a lumpy (well, lumpier) head? The eeeevil rethuglicans would run riot over this country setting back the Fall of Discontent Summer of Recovery. Sounds like India needs to find out who is behind all of this coconut business!

WHAT DO WE WANT? A COCONUT FREE ENVIRONMENT FOR DEAR LEADER TO GOLF IN!!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? BY THE TIME THE 34 NAVY SHIPS HE'S TAKING WITH HIM GET TO MUMBAI!!!
ETA : I denounce all coconuts for being potential rethuglican weapons against Dear Leader™

Comrade Infidel,

You may be on to something, that would be the infamous "Coconut contact bomb",
as an explosive, these may use gunpowder, dynamite, C4 plastic, or Nitro G.

The last is the trickiest to install when using rickety ladders and there are cross winds.

The key here is not to drop anything.

The last group to try this method is totally untraceable! Get it?This secret knowledge was only passed between "the chief" and "99" using the Cone of Silence.

I remember seeing such a thing in "Swiss Family Robinson". or some other capitalist propaganda Disney movie. Coconut grenades would be used in Ireland, but alas we do not have them.

Comrade IRA,

These are not grenades, but devastating "Coconut Contact Bombs" loaded with enough goodies to level a square block!

The People's Marines were sent ahead of Dear Leader Obama to individually shoot and explode every coconut in every tree capable of dropping a coconut on the thoughtful head of dear leader Obama. When Bullets did not take down some coconuts, grenade lauchers were employed.
No Marines were hurt during this mission but two palmtree climbers were killed. ALso, sadly, 14 trees did not live through the melee. Green peace comrades laid the trees to rest in a touching ceremony.
When asked about the operation...dear leader obama said, "those guns be loud".

Comrades rest your Sphincters:

They took the Coconuts down because they were afraid the Obmessiah may have been tempted to climb up and pull them down....

We could not have such a display comrades.....


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Comrades,

He may not have wanted anything to have bigger nuts than he, or he wanted company for his huge pen.

Ivan Ivanobitch wrote:

Laika the Space Dog wrote:What about the limes?

You hit de mind wid de coconut; instant Jiffy Lobo™,
Hit de mind wid de coconut and you wont feel bitter,
Hit de mind wid de coconut, let de dead vote,
Hit de mind wid de coconut, press conference in de morning."

... Where is Groucho?

I've been looking at these lyrics for 2 days stumped about that lime.

Looks like you're off to a good start.
LOL