https://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/archie-andrews-dies-in-conclusion-of-life-with-archie-series-1.2602686

Comic book character Archie killed by Obamacare

Well, it hasn't been the same since Veronica and Betty found out they were gay and got married and Jughead converted to Islam. But what difference, at this point, does it make?

The true story of his death remains under reported. Witnesses claim Archie was stabbed repeatedly by numerous assailants shouting various epitaphs in righteous indignation. "Kill the White Devil" was yelled by a man in a hoodie wearing a seven pointed star medallion. Another in a Che Lives T shirt plunged in a knife while calmly repeating "Muerte a los engendros Howdie Doodie Gringo de Satanás." A loyal Comrade sporting a fashionable Hammer & Sickle logo on his Diamond Jacquard Polo grinned as blood spurted highlighting his glorious cries of "Слейте кровь из веснушчатом капиталистической насильника масс (Drain the blood from the freckled capitalist rapist of the masses)." An unidentified assailant was prevented from beheading the unfortunate and misguided idol of the privileged young white suburban man but he did manage to wave his scimitar wildly while proclaiming the truth of the Jihad, "Allah Qərb Craven kafiri lənət (God curse the craven unbeliever of the West.)" Archie's passing is being treated as an accidental death or possible suicide by the Riverdale Police Force.

Publisher Jon Goldwater (not related to Barry Goldwater) predicts that; "Fans will laugh, cry, jump off the edge of their seats and hopefully understand why this comic will go down as one of the [highlight=#FFFF99]most important moments in Archie's entire history[/highlight]. It's the biggest story we've ever done, and we're supremely proud of it."

Amazing! Such insight! Surely this man deserves a Nobel Prize or a night in the Lincoln bedroom - something to acknowledge his stunning realization that one's death is the most important moment in one's life! This is going to have people lining up at the extermination camp entrances! Just wait! You'll see! (but only if the NEWS cameras are rolling)

There is no such thing as ObamaCare. The Affordable Health Care Act doesn't actually have any effect on health care. It was the insurance companies that killed him.

This is further proof, as if any further proof were needed, that we need single payer now.