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Comrade Rosa DeLauro's Post-Colonial Sugar Tax

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Comrades, is the space-time continuum folding over on itself, with the ideas of the mid 1700s now playing out in the early 21st century? We have Dear Leader telling us that disagreement with him amounts to hatin' on him. Criticizin' the British colonial government was a no no back in the 1700s too.

On a minor note, I suggested that to deal with this major problem in modern times we bring back the Alien and Sedition Acts. Now, we have Comrade Rosa DeLauro wanting to tax sugar! The British Parliament did that to us as colonies back in 1764. Comrade DeLauro comes from Connecticut, aka part of New England.

Comrade DeLauro stresses that this must be done because people living in poverty find it cheaper to buy sugary drinks than to buy blueberries. The revenue will be a slush fund used to help institute lots of programs in other words grow government to deal with the crisis of poor eating choices.

Comrade DeLauro is indeed quite intelligent! Why, if she is concerned about high fructose corn syrup and its effects on the people, the answer is naturally to TAX it! Don't just ban something that is truly a harmful ingredient; no, use this as an opportunity to tax people! If people actually do as we wish and stop using products containing ingredients like high fructose corn syrup, we can just tax the rich™ to keep the programs going.

And of course, the people living on the edge of poverty that Comrade DeLauro is so concerned about will NATURALLY choose blueberries over soda if the two cost the same. Of course! They only made the decision not to eat the blueberries because soda is cheaper. Somehow, I don't think one can really compare soda and blueberries. And if they don't choose blueberries, they will of course fund another government agency. So, it is win win for our party.

On the other hand, if everyone switches from soda to blueberries, we can start hand wringing and say the fund for the anti-fat-people office doesn't have enough revenue. This is the same script we used when we demanded fuel efficient cars and now complain because we don't have enough gasoline tax revenue. So, the simple solution is to have a fruits and vegetables tax once the sugar tax results in its intended outcome.

Or, just as we are toying with a per mile tax for the roads that YOU DIDN'T BUILD™ we could have a per bite tax: each item you put in your mouth would be taxed BY THE BITE. This would be a win win for security too. The meter we would force the People™ to wear would be equipped with a microphone, small camera, and a GPS. And just for the fun of it, we could finally tax the air they breathe!

Oh Comrades, the glorious world of next Tuesday is just around the corner!

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote:.... Comrade DeLauro comes from Connecticut, aka part of New England.

Just south of the People's CommonNoWealth of Taxachusetts! Connecticut, originator of the permanent "Road Under Construction, State Liability Limited" sign.

And other horseshit useful soil amendments.

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Don't forget "thingy," Comrade. Plenty of revenue to be gotten there.

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A spoonful of this sugar makes the medicine go down...

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ImageBut wait... isn't HFCS and the rest of the corn refining industry *already* being subsidized by the Feds?... and she wants to tax HFCS... how does that work? I mean, apart from seeing HFCS taxing lab rats to death? :-P

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Commonwealth: We get the wealth. You get the common.You didn't build that . . .sandwich big enough.

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When did Keith Richards have a sex change? And why does he want to tax my beet sugar?

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[color=#C0392B]Minnesotastan[/color] was just asking for trouble when he wrote:When did Keith Richards have a sex change? And why does he want to tax my beet sugar?

Now you've gone and made her mad!
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But who cries for the poor exploited Ivory Coast eyeglass frame polymer farmers who've never even heard of silly hipster glasses, let alone been paid enough money for their toil by the likes of Rosa Delauro to buy surgery drinks! Shame!

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[color=#C0392B]Comrade Otis[/color] expressed a fear of mine as well when he wrote:But who cries for the poor exploited Ivory Coast eyeglass frame polymer farmers who've never even heard of silly hipster glasses, let alone been paid enough money for their toil by the likes of Rosa Delauro to buy [highlight=#ffff00]surgery drinks[/highlight]! Shame!
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I am always a little fearful when I go under the knife at The People's Cube Surgery Center!
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I just want to know when Perry Farrell, the lead singer of Jane's Addiction, was elected to congress.

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Hmm, I wonder if Comrade Rachel Maddow will grow up to look like Comrade Rosa DeLauro?

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Here a lovely picture of Rosa in her "Adams Family" outfit encouraging the crowd to chant with her - Change! Change! Change! Someone at the event later told me they were hoping to "Change" Rosa back into a frog...I didn't believe him at the time. But she does have a microphone right down next to her feet just in case...who knows.

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El Presidente wrote:I just want to know when Perry Farrell, the lead singer of Jane's Addiction, was elected to congress.

Come to think of it....have you ever seen Rosa, Perry OR Kieth Richards in one room at the same time? Hmmmmmmm....

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I guess somehow we have to be forced now to pay for Bush's illegal war(s)® - remember when it was patriotic duty?

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