Congresswoman Maxine Waters (D-CA) claimed today that "over 170 million jobs" could be lost due to sequestration.

Final Exam
MA XXX-XX
The People's Math
Professor Betinov
Fall Semester, XXXX

Please mark your answer in the spaces provided, using capital letters only. Each question is worth X points.

_____ X. If Commissar Pupovich has X Mercedes-Benz automobiles with gold-plated hubcaps and hot and cold running vodka dispensers, and a common Prole has X elderly Dodge Caravan minivan with a flat tire and broken air conditioning, who is guilty of a hate crime?

A. Commissar Pupovich
B. The Common Prole
C. Germany
D. George Bush

_____ X. Comrade Theocritus contributes $XXXX to Hillary's campaign fund. If the maximum legal individual contribution is $XXXX, how much more can Comrade Theocritus contribute?

A. None
B. The Nazi Bush Administration is guilty of war crimes
C. Less than he ought to be able to
D. It depends on how many minimum-wage earning Chinese dishwashers he knows

_____ x. Sister Massively Opiated wants to create a legion of Necro-proxies to swing the Ohio vote. If the Rethuglicans have an XX,XXXX voter lead in the most recent CNN poll, and it takes SMO X minutes to create a Necro-proxy, how long will it take for SMO to deliver Ohio to the feet of the Empress?

A. X Days and XX hours.
B. She can't, because Bush will rig the election
C. It depends on what the definition of "is" is.
D. This is a trick question because CNN would never report that a Rethuglican leads in the polls

_____ x. If Jorge the undocumented worker will mow lawns for X dollars per hour, and the average lawn takes X hours to mow, how many lawns does he have to mow to make the maximum legal contribution to the Hillary campaign?

A. George Bush is a racist
B. It depends on how many minimum-wage earning Chinese dishwashers he knows
C. It depends on what stance Hillary is taking on the question of issuing driver's licenses to undocumented workers at the moment
D. X

_____ x. It will require X dollars to implement the enhanced S-CHIP coverage for the poor and neglected children that Bush hates. How many babies did Dick Cheney eat for breakfast?

A. X, because he's trying to manage his cholesterol
B. X, because he was really hungry this morning
C. X, but only because brave patriots were using the rest to block access to military bases
D. X, because he had to share with houseguest Karl Rove

I.M. Craptek wrote:The People's Math™

1. Let a and b be equal non-zero quantities a = b

2. Multiply through by a.................................a² = ab

3. Subtract b²............................................... a² - b² = ab - b²

4. Factor both sides.......................................(a - b) (a + b) = b (a - b)

5. Divide out (a - b)...................................... a + b = b

6. Observing that a = b................................. b + b = b

7. Combine like terms on the left...................2b = b

8. Divide by the non-zero b............................2 = 1

I.M. Craptek wrote:Comrade Betinov, Our way is vastly more efficient? at producing?? something from nothing.?????

I have learned something from this thread: Never discuss math in a People's Cube Forum.

Ivan Betinov wrote:

I have learned something from this thread: Never discuss math in a People's Cube Forum.

Here endeth the lesson. Go in peace, to love and serve Obama.