In the wake of the terror attacks in Boston, it is perfectly clear that we absolutely require some feel good legislation that will have no effect what so ever in preventing the next attack.

The important thing is that it must erode the rights of the population and reduce freedoms, or the bill will be considered a complete failure.

Other mandatory requirements are that the name needs to have nothing to do with its real purpose but sounds like anyone who opposes it is a complete fool, that it have at least 1000 pages that no one will ever read until it is signed into law and cannot be understood anyway, and any politician promoting it must have at least five children on stage with them during any press conference.

This is the only way that our glorious leaders can keep us safe. Anything less will not be tolerated!

In fact we a calling for some kind of feel good legislation that calls for some other kind of feel good legislation to be proposed within 48 hours of any incident that diverts the main stream media from covering the latest celebrity scandal or presidential vacation.

Yes comrades, The Emergency Feel Good Legislation Act of 2013 will be a sweeping piece of feel good legislation calling for other feel good legislation to let us all know that at least someone is thinking of our safety in the next crisis while we feel good about losing our liberty.

Remember: It's for the children!™

Something along these lines, Comrade?

We'll have to pass it, of course, to find out what's in it.

In the interim, perhaps an Executive Order Proclamation? I'm feeling gooder in anticipation! At the same time, we must be careful such things do not stimulate pleasure centers.

I'm hoping there's some "resources" in this new bill to be devoted exclusively toward discovering the hidden abuses my ancestors suffered under English rule in the 1700's. I'm not appropriately outraged and am in need of something to protest. (please send any donations to The Craptek Estate - cash only, and in small bills please)

Comrade ROCK,

Your purposed H.R. 666 might do the trick "by eliminating assault weapons, fundamentalist and all other things harmful to the government and people of the United States of America" but where is the fun in that? Maybe Dear Leader can simply follow Anyer Marx's suggestion and issue an 'If it feels good, do it' Executive Order Proclamation and by-pass that pesky Congress with all of those narrow minded Rethuglicans. With a simply stroke of the pen, fun for all and all is well.

Is a good thing, yes, to Feel Good!, da?

As soon as this Essential Legislation passes (or is Summarily Implemented By Diktat of Commissar Obama (PBUH), then is unlawful to refuse to Feel Good! at all times! The Peoples Health Bureau Mental Health Professionals will advise Secret Police Governmental Officials of any Thought Criminal patient who does not Feel Good! at all times. Only in this way can the perpetrator patient be imprisoned segregated Sent On Vacation To More Desolate Natural Areas of the Motherland For Complete Thought Reorganization Process Relaxation.

And Comrades: If any friend or neighbor expresses any sentiment that is not Unremittingly Cheery, then you will know what to do (If you know what is Good For You.)

And Get That Huge Grin On Your Face - If you know what is Good For You - and your family... We're Watching You.

1. We need an immediate ban on high capacity backpacks.

2. Why does any American need access to a 20 quart pressure cooker??

3. Nobody has any good reason for purchasing any quantity of gunpowder.

4. There must be a 10 ball bearing personal limit, and only to registered ball bearing users.

5. Only a licensed contractor needs access to more than 50 nails at a time.

Anyer Marx wrote:In the interim, perhaps an Executive Order Proclamation? I'm feeling gooder in anticipation! At the same time, we must be careful such things do not stimulate pleasure centers.

Remember, Dear Leader, the Constitution is for the little people.