Democrat Sex Scandal? No, Just Good, Clean Democrat Sex

Sex, sex, and more sex. Sexy, balding, chubby Democrat sex. Sex in the Congress! Sex in the White House! Sex in Sonia Sotomayor's judicial robes! Sex in a hot tub full of Capitol Hill interns! See, there is no scandal -- just sex! Is it really wrong for some middle-aged man to send graphic pictures of himself to young girls? Yes -- if he is a Republican. Is Anthony Weiner a Republican? No, he is a Democrat -- a beloved Democrat -- and is therefore absolved from having to exhibit any shred of decency.

Haven't we been over this already? Have we not established rules governing how Republican men and Democrat men are to conduct themselves sexually? When a Republican does it -- sex, that is -- it is a scandalous news story complete with the airing of lurid pictures, shamed family members, and plenty of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert funnies. When a Democrat has sex it is just sex and we must respect the privacy of the men, women, animals, and children involved in that Democrat's expression of his/her/it's sexuality. End of story.

Where is the media on this? Where is the outcry against this blatant invasion of a Congressman's privacy and dare I say constitutionally protected right to send pictures of his penis to unsuspecting girls? Where is the media's condemnation of this being a news-worthy story to begin with? Aren't there more pressing matters to discuss, like Sarah Palin's ignorance or Mitt Romney's creepy Mormonism (I heard they pray! Eek!)

Is there not one Republican having sex that we can talk about or one more old person dying at the hands of Rep. Paul Ryan's plan to End Medicare As We Know It™ ? Let's get back to the real news stories, America -- ones that ridicule Republican penises and not Democrat penises.
 

COMRADES!!!

The Chairman has returned!!!!!

Let the extortions and pilfering resume! (for "Progressive" purposes, of course)

-
Hey Meow? How's Huma doing? I hear she is pregnant. Is the baby hers?

--
ZB
 

Zampolit Blokhayev

COMRADES!!!

The Chairman has returned!!!!!

Let the extortions and pilfering resume! (for "Progressive" purposes, of course)

-
Hey Meow? How's Huma doing? I hear she is pregnant. Is the baby hers?

--
ZB I heard it was Hillary's. If it has hooves we will know for sure.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

I heard it was Hillary's. If it has hooves we will know for sure.
And fangs.Don't forget the fangs!
 

Meow? Is that really you?

The Party™ has forged birth certificates and death certificates to prove you never really existed. You had been purged even without a show trial. You vanished.

Your Party Dues™ are also in arrears Chairman...Father Prog, calm down, we know you're excited too.
 

Laika the Space Dog

Meow? Is that really you?

The Party™ has forged birth certificates and death certificates to prove you never really existed. You had been purged even without a show trial. You vanished.

Your Party Dues™ are also in arrears Chairman...Father Prog, calm down, we know you're excited too.
Ugh, I'm bad. I've been working in the White House under deep cover helping POTUS on various engagements. I've been assisting in economic policy as well as protocol -- although I must admit I am better at the former than the latter (catch O's toast to the Queen?) How about this economy! 9.1% and climbing! We are exceeding all expectations! Sadly I was caught trying to pilfer the Queen's china and was tossed into the tower. I also might have groped Princess Anne and I also might have stolen a few palace door knobs to sell on E-Bay. I also might have pocketed a few gifts from the royal wedding and I might have also *borrowed* a few choice tiaras from the Queen's collection. I might also be forbidden to enter the UK and the White House might also be disappointed with me and I might be out of a job. OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME COME BACK TO THE CUBE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! I WILL NEVER BORROW THINGS AGAIN AND SELL THEM! I WILL EVEN LIFT THE SEAT BEFORE TAKING A TINKLE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! I... I... I.. can't live without power *sniff*. I can't go on without little people to push around or a fancy corner office to call my own! *sniff* Can I be the Chairman again??? Please.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Laika the Space Dog

Meow? Is that really you?

The Party™ has forged birth certificates and death certificates to prove you never really existed. You had been purged even without a show trial. You vanished.

Your Party Dues™ are also in arrears Chairman...Father Prog, calm down, we know you're excited too.
Ugh, I'm bad. I've been working in the White House under deep cover helping POTUS on various engagements. I've been assisting in economic policy as well as protocol -- although I must admit I am better at the former than the latter (catch O's toast to the Queen?) How about this economy! 9.1% and climbing! We are exceeding all expectations! Sadly I was caught trying to pilfer the Queen's china and was tossed into the tower. I also might have groped Princess Anne and I also might have stolen a few palace door knobs to sell on E-Bay. I also might have pocketed a few gifts from the royal wedding and I might have also *borrowed* a few choice tiaras from the Queen's collection. I might also be forbidden to enter the UK and the White House might also be disappointed with me and I might be out of a job. OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME COME BACK TO THE CUBE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! I WILL NEVER BORROW THINGS AGAIN AND SELL THEM! I WILL EVEN LIFT THE SEAT BEFORE TAKING A TINKLE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! I... I... I.. can't live without power *sniff*. I can't go on without little people to push around or a fancy corner office to call my own! *sniff* Can I be the Chairman again??? Please.
You'll have to speak to Father Prog. Since you've been gone he's been handling all the Party™ members who are behind in arrears...economically speaking..well, actually "finance". Lenin save me! I hate using that word "finance". It smacks of...you know...the "C" word.
 

Comrade Space Dog wrote:

I hate using that word "finance". It smacks of...you know...the "C" word.


Clinton?
 

Pssh... like anyone actually pays their Party dues, Laika. The last time I paid Party dues was when I was the Party Treasurer. I paid my dues and then took my dues plus interest. Were we in the red? Yes, but that is what being a Democrat is all about! Debt is HOT, HOT, HOT! Where is Theocritus, BTW? I came back home to my Georgetown dacha only to find my crap pieces of furniture and a few cheap suits left.
 

We're supposed to pay dues???
 

Zampolit Blokhayev

Comrade Space Dog wrote:

I hate using that word "finance". It smacks of...you know...the "C" word.


Clinton?
No, Capitalis...damn, I almost said it again. Meow. About the Georgetown apartment...well, Bruno got the Armanis, Father Prog got the Chippendales (need I mention?) and umm...ahh...Nancy got the drapes AND the Hummels.
 

Collecting Hummels was sooo 2008, Laika. The new *HoTnEsS* is jet-setting around the world and collecting Third World babies and raising them in an inclusive, multi-cultural household. So far I have collected about a dozen multiculti tykes. They are so adorable when they aren't fighting over ethnic, cultural, or territorial differences!
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Collecting Hummels was sooo 2008, Laika. The new *HoTnEsS* is jet-setting around the world and collecting Third World babies and raising them in an inclusive, multi-cultural household. So far I have collected about a dozen multiculti tykes. They are so adorable when they aren't fighting over ethnic, cultural, or territorial differences!
Pinkie is going to see red if you didn't get Brad and Angelina's new email and cell phone numbers. Brad stopped returning her calls.I'm glad you're not angry about the drapes.One way to stop them all from fighting is to let them ride on your rainbow farting albino unicorn but I understand you let Barack borrow him for his 2012 campaign which began in 2004. Maybe a quick fatwah will stop the fighting? Or some free range organically grown bean sprout pop sickles?
 

Laika the Space Dog

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Collecting Hummels was sooo 2008, Laika. The new *HoTnEsS* is jet-setting around the world and collecting Third World babies and raising them in an inclusive, multi-cultural household. So far I have collected about a dozen multiculti tykes. They are so adorable when they aren't fighting over ethnic, cultural, or territorial differences!
Pinkie is going to see red if you didn't get Brad and Angelina's new email and cell phone numbers. Brad stopped returning her calls.I'm glad you're not angry about the drapes.One way to stop them all from fighting is to let them ride on your rainbow farting albino unicorn but I understand you let Barack borrow him for his 2012 campaign which began in 2004. Maybe a quick fatwah will stop the fighting? Or some free range organically grown bean sprout pop sickles? Eh, large amounts of cash labeled "U.S. Foreign Aid" usually gets them to settle down and play nice with each other.