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Depp and Cyrus sexual fluidity news leaks!

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Gender Fluid.jpg

Newsbusters: The 16-year-old daughter of actor Jonny Depp and Vanessa Paradis has come out as sexually fluid. Not wanting to be outdone by a younger fluid-person, Miley Cyrus opts for equal gender status.

Cyrus: "I am literally open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn't involve an animal and everyone is of age," she told Paper magazine. "Everything that's legal, I'm down with. Yo, I'm down with any adult -- anyone over the age of 18 who is down to love me. I don't relate to being boy or girl, and I don't have to have my partner relate to boy or girl."
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NOTE: The Craptek News Service and Weather Analysis Center has been unable to determine exactly what sexual fluidity means. Until a precise definition has been determined we strongly suggested bringing an umbrella when venturing outdoors.

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Does that have anything to do with a golden shower?

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Does that have anything to do with a golden shower?

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We're not sure yet, Comrade Hopping Mouse. We think it's somehow related to global warming...stay tuned.

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:Does that have anything to do with a golden shower?

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I'm siiiiinging in the rain, I'm siiiiinging in the rain!

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Comrades,
As those Revolutionary Rebels were saying the night We Drove Old Dixie Down.

"Do not be Corn-Fused."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSv8TV7Go-o

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Gender fluidity ... Do not the genders produce a diversity of fluids?

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RedDiaperette wrote:Gender fluidity ... Do not the genders produce a diversity of fluids?
Ewwww Comrade Diaperette like leaks and discharges? I have to throw up now.


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Miley Cyrus said: "[highlight=#FFFF00]I am literally open to every single thing[/highlight] that is consenting [highlight=#FFFF00]and doesn't involve an animal[/highlight] and everyone is of age," she told Paper magazine. "Everything that's legal, I'm down with. [highlight=#ffff00]Yo, I'm down with any adult -- anyone over the age of 18 who is down to love me[/highlight]. I don't relate to being boy or girl, and I don't have to have my partner relate to boy or girl."
Dear Miley,

You'll probably consider me an animal but, Yo, I'm down to love you and I'm definitely over 18. What are my options? Thanks for your consideration.

Love,

CC
(Captain Craptek)
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(Comrade Red Walrus - that's disgusting. Thanks for posting it)

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Hey no problem Captain. Actually i was thinking about leaks again this weekend and what comes to mind? Miley Cyrus of course. What bothers me though, she is an obvious hater of animals. Hmmm, as you say, we are animals (mammals just like her) yet she hates us? I don't get it do you? Have you done something to piss her off Craptek? Never mind I see what you did. Your abusive behavior in her backyard ( Crappy Twerking ) has us on her shit list thanks a lot man.

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I was practicing after watching Moochelle on TV. Check out those M&M's!

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Captain Craptek wrote:I was practicing after watching Moochelle on TV. Check out those M&M's!

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The music matches almost perfectly!



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Captain Craptek wrote:
Gender Fluid.jpg

Newsbusters: The 16-year-old daughter of actor Jonny Depp and Vanessa Paradis has come out as sexually fluid. Not wanting to be outdone by a younger fluid-person, Miley Cyrus opts for equal gender status.

Cyrus: "I am literally open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn't involve an animal and everyone is of age," she told Paper magazine. "Everything that's legal, I'm down with. Yo, I'm down with any adult -- anyone over the age of 18 who is down to love me. I don't relate to being boy or girl, and I don't have to have my partner relate to boy or girl."
Gender Fluid-2.jpg

NOTE: The Craptek News Service and Weather Analysis Center has been unable to determine exactly what sexual fluidity means. Until a precise definition has been determined we strongly suggested bringing an umbrella when venturing outdoors.
I'm trying to figure out when Ms. Cyrus is going to realize..."people just aren't shocked any more." And that if you do the exact opposite of what your dad wants, you are STILL allowing him to completely control you.

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In a strange coincidence, just last week while standing in line for a ration of something or other, I was next to our Kollecktive Medical Officer (he's not a doctor, but he has his own roll of antacids and a box of band-aids).

We were discussing genders and fluids, and he gave me an unopened three-pack of Hannah Montana condoms! Who knew these things come in an individual wrappers?

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:In a strange coincidence, just last week while standing in line for a ration of something or other, I was next to our Kollecktive Medical Officer (he's not a doctor, but he has his own roll of antacids and a box of band-aids).

We were discussing genders and fluids, and he gave me an unopened three-pack of Hannah Montana condoms! Who knew these things come in an individual wrappers?

Comrade. What are you talking about? The collective has issued 3 packs of these surplus WW-II condoms for years! And as you can see, they're individually wrapped.

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Comrade Squirrel, you really ought to let that Vietnamese guy do a better job on your nails. You're tearing stuff up.

By the way, while those tiny things might work on a rodent...

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Comrade Squirrel, you really ought to let that Vietnamese guy do a better job on your nails. You're tearing stuff up.

By the way, while those tiny things might work on a rodent...

Condoms!? Komrade Squirrel uses a huge industrial roll of saran wrap, I've seen it myself while installing something in his home for the KGB as part of their Citizen Volunteer program. It'll probably last him until he dies; it's 5000 square yards and he only uses a quarter of a square inch each time

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Comrade Squirrel, you really ought to let that Vietnamese guy do a better job on your nails. You're tearing stuff up.

By the way, while those tiny things might work on a rodent...

Condoms!? Komrade Squirrel uses a huge industrial roll of saran wrap, I've seen it myself while installing something in his home for the KGB as part of their Citizen Volunteer program. It'll probably last him until he dies; it's 5000 square yards and he only uses a quarter of a square inch each time

Comrades Stierlitz and Ivan,

It's not the size, but the artful and frequent usage that counts. With 20 willing anxious females in neighboring trees each year the Craptek family grows by roughly 60 members. BTW: NO THANKS TO EITHER OF YOU! And now, if you'll excuse me, I must GET BACK TO BUSINESS! (if you know what I mean - which you probably don't)

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