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Imperialistic US Soldiers now patrol with unloaded weapons

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My progressive heart swells when I read such things as this. It seems that in parts of Afghanistan the Imperialistic Warmongering US Army has been ordered to patrol with unloaded weapons. This of course ensures the safety of the oppressed Muslims, and terrorists freedom fighters. I understand that a new prototype weapon is being prepared to use in Afghanistan; namely the rainbow farting unicorn. Such gestures of peace and goodwill to our brave Muslim brothers is sure to result in universal peace, love and the enlightenment of Shariah Law.

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The leader of these 'unlocked and unloaded' brave soldiers...

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Well Col. (or should I call you Commissar of Wormholes?) it's not like those dinky little 5.56mm bullets would hurt anyone anyway.


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Is that not like a sterile male trying to knock up impregnate a female? Is it not an act of uselessness? What foolishness this is ... we should take away all guns so not to give hateful appearance of wanting to do harm!! Am I the only one with the foresightedness to see?

I am so pleased dear Leader now has a medal for not doing anything!

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They should to be patrolling with the lollipop. Is Amerikkkan army not yet to be of knowing that the gun makes for nervousness among The Children™ ?

Now if they to be patrolling with the lollipop then they could to be of handing them out and can to say, "Take that, Sucka!" and no will be of harm.

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Perhaps Premier Obama is being sly, like the fox. Thinking outside the matryoshka and drawing upon a long forgotten tactic of war once used by the indigenous red skins of America, soldiers are being trained in the art of "counting coup." Wielding unloaded weapons they will approach an enemy aggressively and at only the last possible moment he will take the weapon by the barrel and reach out with it to touch the Taliban fighter with the butt. HA,ha, can you imagine the shock and confusion the poor terrorist would experience! Why, it is a brilliant plan. Who knew Our Leader, besides being a world-class economist, a leading climatologist and superior medical specialist, was also a military tactician of the caliber of Alexander the Great?

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Hah, this reminds me of a joke (yeah, again).

A Russian soldier arrives at the front and the Sgt. gives him a stick instead of a gun. He complains but the Sgt. tells him to just point it at the enemy and go "bangity-bangity-bang" and the enemy will fall down and die.

So he goes out to fight and he sees the enemy. He points his stick and goes "bangity-bangity-bang" but the enemy keeps coming. He tries again and again without success.

Finally the enemy soldier walks up to him, knocks him down and walks over his body. As the Russian soldier lays broken and bleeding he hears the enemy say "Tankity-tankity-tank."


 
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