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Dial M for Multiculturalism

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Comrades, I had a most disturbing and traumatic experience today. I called a certain company that shall remain anonymous at this time. This certain company has an automated telephone answering system used to direct calls to the proper kkkapitalist within their blood-sucking ranks.

The horror began after the standard greeting, when I was directed to "press one" for English then was directed to "PRESS TWO" FOR SPANISH! How long are we going to make second class citizens out of our undocumented worker population? Will the Caucasian overlords of Amerikkkan society forever relegate them to number two status? Can't you see how psychologically demeaning it is for a Spanish-speaker to call one of these numbers and be instantly reminded of their permanent underclass status?

And what about all of the other non-English speakers? What number am I to dial for Hindi? For Farsi? Where is the choice for Ubange?

I demand that the government act. People's feelings may be hurt if this continues! We must have a federal law mandating that any company that uses a telephone in the course of its business MUST be all inclusive, and hire as many multilingual receptionists as necessary to provide real-time native language responses to callers. In addition, the numbers to be pressed to direct the call to a particular language must be randomized daily so that no one is always "number one" (except that English must always be the last choice).

This will of course require a large federal bureau to oversee compliance and random wire-taps on these kkkapitalist enemies of liberty to insure that all are meeting the required multicultural standards. This in turn will require a new federal usage surcharge, but it will only apply to the telephones of the rich and of registered rethuglicans.

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This sounds like an absolute damned mess that will infuriate The People and destroy business.

In other words, an absolutely brilliant idea that must be implemented immediately. Good job, comrade!

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In other words, an absolutely brilliant idea that must be implemented immediately. Good job, comrade!

Gracias

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This is an idea that should have been implemented long ago. And what about those who are unable to declare what language they speak? This is a small number of people no doubt, but should they be left out?

For that matter.... why is the number 1 always given such status? Hmmmm? Should not all numbers be treated as equals?

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We all know that uniting everyone under a common language is completely out of the question, because we need to put people into groups, and then play them against each other until our MTE can assume the throne. Then we can just force them to all speak Russian.

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For that matter.... why is the number 1 always given such status? Hmmmm? Should not all numbers be treated as equals?

The Campaign for Numerical Equality has begun! 1+1=2? NO! Replace all numerals with "X"!

X+X=X!

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Equality for all numbers!!!! I am an Xionaire!!!!

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
In other words, an absolutely brilliant idea that must be implemented immediately. Good job, comrade!

Gracias


Yo quiero taco bell......

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Yo hablo Shovel
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Thank you diversity. Because of you, there is a child who goes to the local Jr. High named Jihad Richardson. My mother works there. He gotten suspended the other day. I wonder what for.

<img src="https://nonviolentmigration.files.wordp ... dson-2.jpg">
Questions are being asked whether he is related to Bill Richardson.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:[The Campaign for Numerical Equality has begun! 1+1=2? NO! Replace all numerals with "X"!

X+X=X!

It's the People's Algebra and it will transform the world!

X=X=X
X+X=X
X-X=X
X*X=X
X/X=X

And of course...

OPM=Hillary


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Why, my dear Premier, that is X-cubed, which of course is perfection as are all things cubical.

Commissar Pup, I am feeling a little dizzy with success. Or maybe Scotch. Little did I know when I typed that fateful formula that I was pioneering a new science of the People's Algebra. But it fits, nyet? Much like the People's Cube, it gaurantees equality of success regardless of talent or intelligence, and like all good social engineering it makes you feel good without actually accomplishing anything.

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Comrade Betinov, we have indeed created the ultimate math, one as you point out proves that we are all equal, we also have a symbol for some are more equal than others.

For instance....
Commissar Pupovich ≈ Comrade X

This is a great example of progressive thinking. It was you that brought up the non-progressiveness of one language being valued over another that got me to thinking about the unfairness of one number being prominent over others, which led to your equation, which led to my expansion on the theory. Now that we have made language and numbers equal, the revolution will be even further enhanced.

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Look to the left! Even the arch-icon of American imperialism agrees with us. English should not be number one!

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Hmmm, that could be subject to misinterpretation. Perhaps it should be This Finger Wasn't Made to Press 2 for Fill in Your Language.


 
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