Did you know the Whitehouse steers MSNBC commentary?

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I'm very envious!

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I'm waiting for the White House to tell me how I should respond to this post.

I haven't gotten an email. I have been in Area 51 watching Nansky's 757 do Immelman turns with a black-budget UFO. It's hard to tell which is which from the screaming.

Praise be unto Obama!!

He will be the First President of Kenyato bring out the throngs of Reich Wingers wanting to start the Second Revolution of "Freedom" in the USSA!! Soon, we will know who our enemies are and where to find them. Then, after we deal with these Reich Wingers, we will be able to be part of the International Community.

My leg tingles, knowing that we will be nominated for a Nobel Peace prize!!

Who's a good doggie? You are! Yes you are.

I heard on the Glorious America Left, and read in a Washington magazine about the crazed Rethuglican ideas that just because the White House was asking comrades to rat on people who were not sufficiently loyal to Obamacare that the White House was collecting names and numbers!

Utter rubbish. Why, the White House would never do that.

And we don't ask why the White House wants that information because that would give rise to cognitive dissonance and all Made Progs just hate that.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: that would give rise to cognitive dissonance

Only if you think about it.

And I whenever I do start to think about it, I immediately hie myself to Jiffi-Lobo. I have a favorite surgeon there, the grandson of Dr. Mengele, who can zap those pesky little grey cells out in a trice.

He's the absolute best. His most shining success story was Janeane Gawdawfulo. She was always progressive. When she first came into Jiffi-Lobo, she looked like Now of course she looks like

Simply amazing the work they do now...

Yes, it is. This is because no one must be more equal than anyone else. It's the theme of "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_ ... ">Harrison Bergeron</a>" by Kurt Vonnegut. Although the article doesn't name the Handicapper General, she is Diana Moon Glampers, a name I memorized when I read it in 1968. Here is a picture of Diana Moon Glampers

Reiuxcat wrote:Did you know the Whitehouse steers MSNBC commentary?

I was listening for the latest message from Laika:

But of late, It seems Like a lot of interference when I put on my "Tin Foil Hat". As I was under the approach leg of EWR, (Newark New Jersey Airport) I felt this could be a problem. I decided to climb up a pole assuming that the higher I was the better the reception.

Suddenly I heard what I thought was the voice of "Hope and Change" I awoke laying on the ground. burns around my head.

I rose to my feet and Screamed "HAIL BE TO THE OBMESSIAH" He has spoken to me!!! The OBMESSIAH has touched me. I shall walk the path and preach the wonders of the OBMESSIAH. I shall "GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN"

Then a Power line repair man walked over and said, "Jew Ok Buddy"? Wht da Fu-- Jew doen" "Climbing a pole and stick'en your head in a transformer is not a good thing"

Sad, I noticed my wonderful tin foil cap was melted. My Hopey Change Tee shirt torn. and the Police were cuffing me and putting me in to the back of a car....



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalityä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
Who is John Galt?

My lord, Red Star; that's an affecting tale. I'll have Bruno rush over to your house a brand new <a href="https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... heterodyne, Phased-Antenna-Array, Mu-Mutal-Lined, Pamela Anderson-hide-wrapped Tin Foil Hat.</a>

Do you want it with or without the silicone boobs?

Comrade Theocritus,

Comrade Red Star with a pair of 44's? Well, it might help with his midnight door kicking duties.

There she stood. I said, "get out, get out of my house!" I wanted to shoot her, but I couldn't get past her EEE Cup Superheterodyne, Phased-Antenna-Array, Mu-Mutal-Lined, Pamela Anderson-hide-wrapped Tin Foil Hat.

I have heard that Our Many Titted Empress is becoming weaponized to assister in her SOS duties. Her ginormous ass would be sheathed in spent-uranium armor, and her gazongas too. This way she can fly into Tehran or Moscow and unleash shock and awe and further the progressive dream of blaming America and giving away the store.

Oh. She does that already. Sorry. My bad.

I am going to take my SHPAAMMPA Tin Foil Hat in for adjustment. I don't think it's working just right.

Leninka wrote:Comrade Theocritus,

Comrade Red Star with a pair of 44's? Well, it might help with his midnight door kicking duties.

There she stood. I said, "get out, get out of my house!" I wanted to shoot her, but I couldn't get past her EEE Cup Superheterodyne, Phased-Antenna-Array, Mu-Mutal-Lined, Pamela Anderson-hide-wrapped Tin Foil Hat.

Pssst, Comrade Leninka,

Where can I get the SPAAMMLPAHW tin foil hat? and is there an EE size available?

Reiuxcat, pardon me for answering for Leninka, but I can answer this.

It's no good getting a SPAAMMLPAHW tin-foil hat right now; you have to get it after a good prophylactic treatment at Jiffi-Lobo. Just as you wouldn't get dentures the same day you had your teeth pulled, for they wouldn't fit, you don't want the tin-foil hat, especially this Rolls Royce of tin-foil hats, fitted before your head adapts to its new size.

A proper Jiffi-Lobo treatment makes your forehead recede quite a bit, you know--those pesky prefrontal lobes are gone. With a lot of cognitive ability I confess but mostly the bits of your brain which limit your behavior. This is so handy when you're stealing and kicking in doors.

How do you think that Red Star got to be in charge of kicking in doors at midnight?

For his birthday I gave him a large coupon book for Jiffi-Lobo.

So get your hat fitted after the treatment. As you are leaving you'll be given an appointment to go into Leninka's Millinery Shop, which does only the best in SPAAMMLPAHW tin-foil hats.

Thank you, Comrade Theocritus.

I'm ready and waiting for you, Comrade Reiuxcat,

And, Theo, you must stop by sometime. I have some wonderful items for Bruno, too.

Oh. My. God. Bruno would kill for that. All the fruit's fruit has wilted and decayed. He keeps whining, "Theocritus, can't I get some fruit for my head that isn't so heavy and won't rot?"

"No, Bruno, not if you don't want it to look tacky. You know that artificial fruit just doesn't look good. Well, real fruit doesn't look good either some times. Just think of Richard Simmons."

There are new kinds of fruit you know, produced by Dear Leader's Fruit Czar. First of all, they are all organic. You knew they had to be that.

The Many Titted Empress Prickly Pear is a little more acrid than every day Prickly Pears.

The Obamalini Papaya, when you cut into it, has a smooth and slippery texture.

The Nancy Pelosi Persimmon seems attractive on the outside, but has little value in the way of taste, and the texture is an unpalatable grainy mush.

The Congressman Alan Grayson Coconut, is so tough, it's nearly impossible to crack, and when you do crack it open (after first drilling holes with an electric drill), it's got an oily and rubbery texture.

And the Comrade Bubba banana can find it's way into an intern, a campaign worker, a waitress, and a number of other types.

Leninka wrote: I'm ready and waiting for you, Comrade Reiuxcat,

Words I'd only thought I'd read while dreaming.


What do you have in a medium feline? I hope these have holes for my ears. In an effort to increase production, which failed miserably, the last batch schmooshed my ears something terrible.

Leninka and Reiuxcat, are you going to make the Perfect Prog? I warn you--it's difficult. Recall the troubles I had with <a href="https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... =3762">the Prog Who Will Come</a>.

If we can't make the Perfect Prog with the two all-stars of delusional, self-centered, resentful and childish Progs like Jodin Morey and Janeane Gawdawfulo, how is it possible to make the Perfect Prog?

I esteem you dearly, nearly as dearly as I esteem anything that someone else owns, but let's face it: Jodin and Gawdawfulo? They're the World Series of Progdom.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Leninka and Reiuxcat, are you going to make the Perfect Prog? I warn you--it's difficult. Recall the troubles I had with <a href="https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... =3762">the Prog Who Will Come</a>.

I dreamed a similar dream about you too, Comrade Commissar. I figured with Calvin and Hobbes, you'd have no room left in your heart for another kitty. (sigh)

Calvin and Hobbes have been given nicknames: Pissy Pussy and Pushy Pussy. Try saying that fast three times and you sound like Sean Connery.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Leninka and Reiuxcat, are you going to make the Perfect Prog? I warn you--it's difficult. Recall the troubles I had with the Prog Who Will Come.

Commissars Theocritus and Rieuxcat,

No. Not in my millinery shop. It would be terribly upsetting to the black church ladies, who are my staple customers. As, well, since there are more and more queens dropping by, I don't have the time. You know how chatty they are.

I would say, you, Comrade Theocritus, and Bruno, with the help of Hillary and her turkey baster, came the closest I've ever seen to making the perfect prog. And besides, it wouldn't be the same if it weren't attempted again at the Rancho.

However, I did have a little time today to make a little outfit for Comrade Rieuxcat. Comrade Rieuxcat, I hope you like it. You will notice that it's very slimming.

Leninka wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Leninka and Reiuxcat, are you going to make the Perfect Prog? I warn you--it's difficult. Recall the troubles I had with the Prog Who Will Come.

Commissars Theocritus and Rieuxcat,

No. Not in my millinery shop. It would be terribly upsetting to the black church ladies, who are my staple customers. As, well, since there are more and more queens dropping by, I don't have the time. You know how chatty they are.

I would say, you, Comrade Theocritus, and Bruno, with the help of Hillary and her turkey baster, came the closest I've ever seen to making the perfect prog. And besides, it wouldn't be the same if it weren't attempted again at the Rancho.

However, I did have a little time today to make a little outfit for Comrade Rieuxcat. Comrade Rieuxcat, I hope you like it. You will notice that it's very slimming.

I love it! I love it! And brasso too keep it spit shiney!

and thanks for the prog! I haven't been doted on like this since Pup kicked me out of the pleasure palace.

(Psst, I didn't realize she was so fragile. But It'll heal, I think.)




And where

Damn, I see that YouTube has pulled the video for a TOS violation. In other words, Progs complained so they pulled it. Not that there's any surprise in the fact that what the Bel0ved Leader considers the "real news media" gets their talking points right from the White House. Pretty much fits the template I remember "back in the day" when I knew a number of "activist" in my old home town. They had a list of "reliable" allies in the local media who they could feed talking points to. Funny enough, this particular town has become something of a "farm league" for reporters looking to move up to the networks and some of these "reliable" reporters now have a national audience.

Does anyone else remember the brief attempt to cast Janeane as a romantic comedy leading lady? I recall going to several "date movies" back in the early-to-mid 90s to see movies where she was the female lead. Then she disappeared for a bit and changed from being sarcastic and bitter to full-on bug-shit insane. It's pretty sad when you are so lefty BSI that even Hollywood doesn't want to deal with you anymore. Another thing I noticed... it may just be the light and/or photo resolution but it looks like Ms. Godawfulow hadn't shaved her legs in a while. Yet, I also notice that her eyebrows are well shaped and groomed. So much for not conforming to patriarchal standards of beauty.

Oh, M, I noticed Ms. Gawdawfulo's legs. I don't object to hairy legs--on men. But then Ms. Gawdawfulo dresses to spite herself. "I'm so progressive that I will offer myself to the world without paying even lip service to conventions and you have to respect my authenticity." A lot of crimes have been justified in the name of "authenticity."

Leninka, the problem with making the Perfect Prog was that poor Jodin Morey's, er--how do I say it?--vital essence made water laugh. I couldn't get dear Janeane to stop scratching her ear with her hind foot long enough for Jodin to consummate the act.

Reiuxcat, I quite like your new costume: I christen you Mechacatzilla. The robofeline who will right all wrongs, or the ones that he's interested in. Like any good prog.

Comrade Rieuxcat,

I'm glad you like your new apparel. You do look mahvelous. In fact, you make the lax and undisciplined Western decadence of Calvin and Hobbes stand out all the more. And what did they do to help Comrade Theo in his attempts at making of The Prog that Will Come? Nothing, I bet, but sleep in some back room, completely unaware, fully expecting their routine to be uninterrupted.

Leninka, I have to agree that Calvin and Hobbes have been essentially useless in my attempts to take over the world. They just, er, sleep and jump on my lap and want to be petted and purr. And purr. A lot. And seem to be happy to seem me.

In fact they are not prog cats at all. They are never angry and are happy.

How can I indoctrinate them?

I don't know that even making them watch one video after another of the "I love Obammy, he's like my Mammy" kind would work on Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin and Hobbes are whores. If His O'liness came and condescended to pet them, they'd fall for it.

Who am I kidding? His O'liness can't reach the ground, even with his feet. And if he could, they'd drag him to the sandbox.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Calvin and Hobbes are whores. If His O'liness came and condescended to pet them, they'd fall for it.

Who am I kidding? His O'liness can't reach the ground, even with his feet. And if he could, they'd drag him to the sandbox.

I'll start digging a spot to bury him with the other kitty logs.

Reiuxcat, once His O'liness was here and mesmerized himself by looking into a mirror. I was quite tired of all the hosannahs and the angelic choruses, and I dragged him to the dumpste--not hard because he floats like the Bullwinkle balloon--and put him in. I looked and found the lid of the dumpster opening and His O'liness rising above it to float above the neighborhood.

The only good that came from that was that it scared away the talent-shitting pigeons. They knew they couldn't compete with a president who could talent-shit on America every time he leaves American soil.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:The only good that came from that was that it scared away the talent-shitting pigeons. They knew they couldn't compete with a president who could talent-shit on America every time he leaves American soil.

He's doing it from the golf course now. (But don't tell anyone)

You know of course that they cancelled the Master's this year, and just gave him the green jacket. They had to after him getting the Nobel Peace Prize.

His O'liness will not have time to govern because every day he'll be getting an honorary doctorate from every university in America, for his contribution to peace.

Yes, his O'liness will be getting high accolades for his ability to run a country into the ground from now until his dealth.